What was the best epiphany you've had?

[Disney Doll]

I like that! As a worrier, I am going to try to remember that one.

For me I guess it was when I realized that God isn't waiting for us to cross all our t's and dot all our i's before He/She loves us. God already does love us. The basic rules (commandments, some would call them) are just there to help us avoid experiencing pain or inflicting pain upon others, much like loving parents teach their own children.

It's a good one KristaTX. I have a mother how worries about every little thing. It's exhausting. It was exhausting as a child trying to figure out how to "present" things to her so she wouldn't go off in a tailspin of worry. It's exhausting as an adult for the same reasons. There is so much I would have liked to have shared with my mother but just didn't because the level of worry it would cause her, and the resultant angst her worry heaps down on me wouldn't have been worth the trouble. Taking a trip nearly causes an emotional breakdown for her...."What if the plane goes down? What if your rental car breaks down? What if you get mugged? What if something happens to Daddy or I while you are away?". I hear this literally until I say good-bye and when I call from the trip I hear "Is your hotel room door locked? Did you take enough money? Do you have a jacket?" I have gotten to where I answer her with stupid responses like "No the hotel room door is wide open and I have a sign on the sidewalk outside pointing in so the rapists can find me more easily". "No I have no money so I am turning tricks in an effort to earn enough money to be able to vacation properly". "Jacket? Who needs a jacket when I'm not wearing any clothes at all???".

So "don't bleed until you get shot" has a special place in my heart.

 

[vettechick99]

First I want to thank everyone! I would love to respond to you all but can't. I appreciate and have enjoyed reading about monumental moments in your lives.

2. When my son was 2 1/2 I had an "epiphany/breakdown" at work. He had always had issues. We kind of just thought he was difficult, high strung etc. Talking to my sister that day at work and she said, "You know, it sounds like autism." I immediately googled (not always the best thing to do I know) and it was like an out of body experience when I read what was essentially my son. I freaked out and cried and had my little emotional breakdown. She said, "You know, there are far worse things that can happen. He doesn't have cancer. He's not going to die. It could be so much worse." And it could be. And he's a fabulous quirky little 8 year old goof now! I cannot imagine him any other way.
"

I have to say that this made me smile. I teach special needs children and for the first year I have a boy with autism. He is the funniest, sweetest, most adorable child ever! In 7 years of teaching, he's my favorite ever. He says the most profound things because he doesn't get caught up in the crazy rules of society and unimportant things. He finds the most joy in learning and reciting facts about dinosaurs, and won't hesitate to tell me that he doesn't like 2-digit addition, even though he can do it. It's like he's living the simplified life I've been seeking. Do and enjoy what you love. I can learn so much from him.

 

[Kady]

I truly think that having a child is kind of epiphany in a way. Just the unconditional love and feeling of protectiveness that is overwhelming it sometimes takes your breath away at the most unexpected moments. I can't even adequately put it into words.

 

[dananbethany]

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

 

[lisaviolet]

What a wonderful thread vettechick. Thank you.

I think the biggest one for me is Get the he!! off other people's paths - let them be - let them be on their own paths and get the he!! back on yours. Yep, get back on yours.

And that my parents are simply people in parental clothing. With faults and struggles and things that they maybe simply can't or will never get. And that's fine and I love them.

I guess when you're younger you think well they're this age or that age they get this or that. Or course they do - they're adults. Ummm. Nope. You can be in your seventies and still be a *jealous teenager* or a *drama queen* etc. - laughing - I saw that first hand at my parents' 50th with some of their good friends a few years back. It was eye opening and entertaining all rolled into one.

None of these mean to not stand up for yourself or hold your own or not be loving/compassionate when needed.


Difficult balance in life. But those thoughts have helped me.

And I love Maya Angelou's when people show you who they are - BELIEVE THEM. I seem to have to learn that one over and over and over.... . But I'm trying.

 

[lisaviolet]

For life in general:
The will of God will not take me where the grace of God will not protect me.

and

For those times when my "worrywart" comes out:
Don't bleed until you get shot.

Perfect. Thank you! Sighing. Exhaling. So needed both today. Yeah!

 

[MamaLema]

Education is very important to me. I have 3 boys. The oldest and youngest are very academic and bring home great report cards. The middle one has no interest in school no matter what I do.

One night, at parent-teacher interviews, I was pouring out my frustration to DS' teacher. She smiled and have me a little card with a picture of 2 seeds growing and in the next picture the grown flowers were completely different from each other. The caption said "no two flowers bloom the same way"

I had an epiphany then and there. Just because I have 3 kids, doesn't mean they all have to be the same. I felt guilty for not letting him be his own person. I started thinking about his great qualities like being the first to help me with groceries when I walk through the door. It's not all about marks.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Hmmmm...My initial response was sucked into a black hole, but I'm still subscribed to the thread.

1. All the water in the world won't sink a ship, unless it gets on the inside.

2. Good enough is good enough. Perfection isn't an achievable goal.

 

[mariolatry]

I've been chubby my entire life. I learned emotional and disordered eating at my mother's knee and have struggled with it always. I've lost lots of weight, gained it back, tried every weight loss program available, developed an eating disorder and needed a lot of help to get through it. All of my life I've spent at least 50-75% of my time thinking about food and weight; what I was allowed to eat, what I really wanted to eat, feeling ashamed for being fat and unable to conquer this problem, how wonderful my life would be if I could just be thin, on and on and on. I sat in my chair, watched the world go by, and obsessed. Then one day I read this blog post:


http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/

It made me realize two things:

1.) I am meant for more than this. God did not creat me to spend literally all day long thinking about calories and hating myself. Good Lord, no wonder I felt so unfulfilled.....I was wasting all of my time on very, very small things. I am more than my body. What matters are the things I accomplish and the people I touch along life's journey. I can be fat and still be a good person and a child of God.

2.) I can't wait until I'm "thin" to start my life. I need to start living now. Accept myself, love myself, and GET OUT THERE! I've experienced so many new things since I've had this realization. I've volunteered, met new people, got more involved in my church, and grown so much emotionally.


So I work out 4-5 days per week (usually alternating the Couch to 5K program and Jillian Michaels DVDs) and eat as many whole, unprocessed foods as I can. I haven't dropped any weight, other than the millstone of shame, guilt, and self-hatred that hung around my neck for 30 years. But it's okay, you know?

 

[kim929]

My epiphany is
'don't waste it.' Don't waste it mad. Don't waste it mixed up in drama. Don't waste it chasing the all mighty dollar. Don't waste anything. Use the good china. Go ahead and cut the flowers and bring them into the house! Don't work so much. Live more, love more, learn more. Forgive more. Just don't waste it.
__________________

Love this...

 

[Lassie Lynne]

Mine is for all of you with family issues (unloving parents, intrusive and mean in-laws, pesky step-brothers....you know the ones )

You don't have to love your family. You need to do the right thing and treat them with respect, but just because you are biologically/marriage related, doesn't mean that they deserve your everlasting love.

 

[emer95]

Love this thread!

I have a few:

I actually read this on Pinterest, and it was in the midst of a dark time in my life (dealing with chronic migraine pain that seemed to have no end). God doesn't always promise to quiet the storm, but He does promise to calm His child. Or something to that effect. It brought me enormous comfort and made me weep, and it did help to calm me. Just knowing that I'm not fighting through this life alone. Even though things will not always be perfect, I have His help to get me through.

This one sounds silly, but anytime I am frustrated with my hair, or if I have a blemish, etc. I remember something my mom used to say: Do the best you can with what you've been given. I don't know why, but this kind of gave me a sense of relief in a laughable way, like I would stand in front of the mirror and say, "Well, I've done all I can." LOL

This one was from my Grandma. She said whenever I was feeling envious of someone because they had xyz, I had to think, would you really want to trade lives with that person? Like, would I want a bigger house like my neighbor if it meant I had to take her jerky husband?

And the last one:
If everyone put their problems in a pile, as soon as we saw everyone else's, we'd want ours back.

 

[Maryr1]

1- Happiness is an inside job. It is also a conscious decision.
2- I control very little in this life EXCEPT for my reaction to what life throws at me. I always try to make the best of whatever situation I am in.
3-God never leaves me stranded-but I need to be responsable to find Him -look for Him, seek Him out and recognize Him. He is doing His job, I need to do my job.

 

[Bluestars]

I've had three throughout my life. The first one was when I was in my early 20s and somebody I loved very much died. I wanted to die myself. I was very depressed and thought I would never have a happy thought again. One day I was watching a funny show and laughed. I felt happy at that moment. That's when I knew that it was my choice to feel happy or depressed. I could focus on the pain or I could focus on things that made me happy. I decided that I didn't want to be depressed and unhappy for the rest of my life.

The next came when I was struggling with some difficult things in my life. A thought came into my head that has stuck with me one the years and I repeat it often. The world hasn't crumbled yet. I know it's kind of funny, but no matter how bad things have been, the world hasn't crumbled yet. I interpret that as I haven't crumbled under the stress and hardship. I'm still here.

The latest thing that came to me is that no matter how much I beg, plead, bribe, help, or try to save somebody else, I am powerless. That person must save himself. I have no control over the decisions of another person and it's not my life. This has been one of the most difficult things to acknowledge and accept, but once I did, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders.

 

[Mandychelle79]

1. As a psych nurse patients often ask me why I treat them differently then some of the other staff do ( in a good way). My response is honest. I understand that I could very well be one mental breakdown from being on their side of the nurses station. I treat them how I would want to be treated if I was in their position.

2. The day that I realized we may never know what all is "wrong" with my daughter, but each diagnosis we get, while may feel like a kick in the stomach at the time, is just that. Her diagnosis does not define her. She would be the same kiddo whether we had the diagnosis or not. A diagnosis, that will allow us to her the appropriate treatment and support.

3. The day that we finally said "who cares what the doctor says, we are given ds something to help him fall asleep,( melatonin)" Since then our morning have been much more pleasant, and no more notes from his teacher.

 

[Monte Cristo]

I am looking for really amazing words of wisdom. Especially the ones that changed your outlook on life.

Life's too short to drink ****ty beer.

 

[KimR]

This one sounds silly, but anytime I am frustrated with my hair, or if I have a blemish, etc. I remember something my mom used to say: Do the best you can with what you've been given. I don't know why, but this kind of gave me a sense of relief in a laughable way, like I would stand in front of the mirror and say, "Well, I've done all I can." LOL

This one was from my Grandma. She said whenever I was feeling envious of someone because they had xyz, I had to think, would you really want to trade lives with that person? Like, would I want a bigger house like my neighbor if it meant I had to take her jerky husband?

And the last one:
If everyone put their problems in a pile, as soon as we saw everyone else's, we'd want ours back.

These are all very similar to what I had posted earlier and I also want to add that along with this came the realization that all of my faults that have caused me so much grief in my life have, ironically, enabled me to have the things in my life that I hold so dear. My husband fell in love with me, quirks and all. If I didn't have all these issues, I'd be a different person and most likely would not have the qualitites he does cherish.

PS: Just a side note to the universe: OK, mission accomplished. I have my husband and my children and a wonderful job: could you please fix me now??

 

[DWGal210]

A great thread!

I'm still a work in progress, but this is what's helped me.

1) Not everyone has to like me. I'm a serial people pleaser & I would get very upset if I thought someone didn't like me, for whatever reason. Now, I care much much less. It's freeing.

2) I can't fix everything. I dislike conflict & sometimes would get too embroiled in other peoples conflicts, because I wanted fix it & resolve the conflict. Now I don't & it's so freeing. I'm not responsible for other peoples happiness.

3) People you love will do things you don't like, and makes choices you think are wrong. It's ok - everyone makes their own choices.

Like I said, I'm still working on me but as a 30 yr old, I'm much more confident & less stressed than when I was in my teens & 20s.

 

[Andtototoo]

Most people are bad drivers. Once you realize the fact you can't make everyone drive better, you learn to prepare FOR it rather than react TO it. Always assume everyone else on the road is a moron and do your best not to be in the way when they do something stupid. It will not only make you safer, but more stress free.

LOL

The first thing I told my dd when we got in the car for her first driving lessson was, "People are stupid. Assume they will make the stupid choice when driving."

Every day when she left to drive somewhere I would say, "I love you. Drive safely because people are stupid."

She's told me many times that mantra saved her from an accident because she always expects the other driver to make the stupid move and 9/10 times, they do!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

The one which comes to mind is something my on-again-off-again high school boyfriend said to me once. "You don't deserve anything." He was kind of scum, but he wasn't talking specifically about me either. What he meant was, it doesn't matter who your parents are, or how good a kid you are, or what kind of grades you get, the world doesn't owe you.

The other is not exactly an epiphany, more of a life lesson: "Quick like a bunny." This is what my dad told me in reference to yellow lights. There's a point when the light turns yellow, and you're not sure you can make it through the intersection before it turns red, but you're also not sure if stopping short is particularly safe either (slippery roads, for instance). In that situation, the important thing is not which you ultimately decide to do, but that you make the decision as quickly as possible and stick with it. Yeah, he was talking about cars, but I always applied it to other life decisions as well.