When did your dream die and why

[low-key]

I figure most of you are like me, love there life, and did enough things right to enjoy things as they come. But right around your the end og high school, for the next years, you probably had bigger plans for yourself and somewhere along the lines the dream died

when I got out of the Navy, I got a decent job, that would make sure I lived alright for the rest of my life if I stayed. So after being there a few years (25-26), I realized I wasnt going to take any chance of making something big happen

 

[dish rag]

They day I realized I wasn’t going to hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth.

 

[low-key]

They day I realized I wasn’t going to hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth.

respect

 

[Praying Colonel]

Missed making our town's Little League all-star team by 1 vote when I was 12. Realized I was not going to be the next Johnny Bench after all.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Easy. When I had my breakdown, October 2003. I was hospitalized, and when I came out I realized that my anxiety was so bad I couldn't work as a freelance designer/illustrator ever again. I tried just getting a retail job, but I would get as far as taking an application home and then have a panic attack at the thought of filling it out and turning it in. I had to apply for SSI, and luckily I got it. I've been in the mental health system for nearly a decade now.

 

[low-key]

Missed making our town's Little League all-star team by 1 vote when I was 12. Realized I was not going to be the next Johnny Bench after all.

ahhh, you wanted to be the greatest catcher ever

Easy. When I had my breakdown, October 2003. I was hospitalized, and when I came out I realized that my anxiety was so bad I couldn't work as a freelance designer/illustrator ever again. I tried just getting a retail job, but I would get as far as taking an application home and then have a panic attack at the thought of filling it out and turning it in. I had to apply for SSI, and luckily I got it. I've been in the mental health system for nearly a decade now.

it seems to me, that being an illustrater you could still maybe dabble a little bit in the field ?

 

[sasywtch]

This is really silly now but it did change my life. In 10th grade I had been taking advanced classes as I wanted to become a doctor. Well, the second semester I had the choice of driver's education or biology. My teenager brain went with driver's ed. Taking the easy way seemed to be a pattern for me after that.

 

[dotfurio]

Honestly, I think it was my senior year of high school. My parents had just divorced and any dreams of going away to college were guilted away by my dad saying I couldn't leave my mom all alone. So I lived at home, went to the local junior college, and spent a few years wasting time and partying so I wouldn't feel sad I wasn't off at university with all my honor student cohorts.

 

[tvguy]

I was going to say I never had a "dream", but thinking about it my "dream" was pretty broad and general not specific. I take pride and pleasure in the little things, the little victories that come every few days.

 

[L&Lfan]

When I chose my career some 35 odd years ago, I realized I chose success and security over true happiness and the freedom to be my true self.

 

[siren0119]

When I got pregnant at 22. Had the beginnings of a career on the NY stage that I had to walk away from to raise my kiddo, at first with his dad until said dad turned abusive. Left and made life happen on my own after that.

When did the dream come alive again? When my current husband encouraged me to go to an audition because he thought it would be good to get in touch with a side of me that I thought was dead. Five shows later (Two with my younger kids participating with me!) and the dream has changed, but it's gaining some momentum in its new form

 

[Sabeking]

I graduated college with an undergrad in Speech Pathology. I was an average student with B’s and a low Graduate Record Exam score. I could not get into grad school. So I went one more year and got a teaching certification. During my student teaching one day I received a call from someone at the county public school system. They had reached out to the Speech path department at my college looking for potential speech clinicians. They hired me with a 3 year provisional license. I had to get my graduate degree in 3 years. The said college told me to come take classes in the program and prove myself and then I may have a shot. I worked as a SLP, went to summer school and waited tables at night. I ended the year with a 3.85. I did another semester, added another job on to pay for my schooling and ended up with continued strong grades but I still was not admitted. The slots were few and the competition was tough. I finally moved to another county and applied to a different college in that area. I waited with anticipation to see if I would get in. After the date to find out came and went I contacted the school because I had heard nothing. They informed me that they never received my application. However, they CASHED my application check during the application time frame. After many meetings with the school they told me they didn’t have room and to apply the following semester. That was it, I was done. I moved to the regular classroom and taught for 10 more years. To this day it still upsets me and occasionally I have dreams about it. Sometimes I’m upset with myself more than anything for giving up. Funny I look on the county website and they continue to have SLP openings because graduate programs are not large enough around our area. Thanks for the therapy outlet Lowkey.

 

[Neesy228]

I opted not to get my PhD in counseling psychology because I was drowning in school loans at age 24. I still think about going back and finishing so I can practice, but the expense still scares me. And I’m about to turn 45, so it feels unlikely that I’ll take the leap.

 

[vacationer1954]

I never expected my childhood (or even college-aged) dreams to come true. So, in effect, my dream was to steer my boat through the storm and make it out the other side. I was on track to do that until a year and a half ago, when the ship ran aground within sight of the distant shore, which held the promise of dry land where storms are easier to weather. Now I'm on a piece of debris, paddling toward shore with my hands instead of oars. I suppose I should be thankful that the tides haven't swept me back out to sea, but that could still happen. There's a smaller, less attractive island closer to where I'm currently floating, but I don't think we'd be happy together if I turned toward that shore. So I keep treading toward the original destination hoping that my ship doesn't founder.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I was going to say I never had a "dream", but thinking about it my "dream" was pretty broad and general not specific. I take pride and pleasure in the little things, the little victories that come every few days.

This is me as well. I've never wanted a "big" life - just a quiet, happy one.

 

[dish rag]

I never expected my childhood (or even college-aged) dreams to come true. So, in effect, my dream was to steer my boat through the storm and make it out the other side. I was on track to do that until a year and a half ago, when the ship ran aground within sight of the distant shore, which held the promise of dry land where storms are easier to weather. Now I'm on a piece of debris, paddling toward shore with my hands instead of oars. I suppose I should be thankful that the tides haven't swept me back out to sea, but that could still happen. There's a smaller, less attractive island closer to where I'm currently floating, but I don't think we'd be happy together if I turned toward that shore. So I keep treading toward the original destination hoping that my ship doesn't founder.

I have found it’s best to not paddle but to go with the current. You might be surprised where it takes you if you let it. Most people paddle to a safe place, that’s not always the best place, or where we are meant to be.

 

[mombrontrent]

I never had any specific dreams. I just always thought I’d follow the path of high school, college, career, marriage, family. I never even knew what I wanted that career to be and still don’t at nearly 40. But I’m content with the way my life turned out.

My parents divorced when I was in high school, and I ended up moving out at 17, barley finished high school, never went to college and had my first child at 19. I always worked except for a five year leave when I had three small children but I’ve never had a “career”, always just a “job”. So my dreams never really died and I didn’t really have any but I’m happy at my job, and happy with my life and I feel extremely fortunate for everything I do have and the people I have in my life.

Funny side note my parents got divorced when I was in high school, they would have been about age 40 and I remember thinking why would they bother getting divorced now after 20 years, they’ve been married forever and are so old now. Lol! I thought 40 was so old and their life was basically over so what’s the point in starting over! Funny how perceptions change

 

[John VN]

Anybody remember ?????

Instead of a Harley, I wanted to "van" around the country. Going to finish college, earn some $$$$ and then buy and drive ----- but 1 month after graduation while working at the gas station I worked at through college out of the blue -- = Dream Death

the WHY --- Girl I'd known from 1st grade to H.S. graduation stopped by, having no connection AT ALL through school years I accidentally touched her hand when I went to lean on car after washing windshield and x ∞ !!! 1 year later in 1973 married. Did buy a van but for work purposes We bought a motor home to see the country together, BUT my cancer put a halt to that so we fly or cruise instead of drive. No complaints at all.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

This is a depressing thread, low-key! But I had a depressing week, so...

The man I chose to marry killed the dream for me. I think he was scared and miserable inside himself and like all bullies he was a coward, so since he didn't have the courage to dream I wasn't allowed to either. As anyone who has survived any kind of abusive relationship will tell you, you get so beat down that you no longer believe you have any value. Then the cycle of abuse continues more easily for the abuser. He used my dreams against me until I learned not to hope for anything, and definitely not to share those hopes because that just gave him ammunition. The kids and I are still learning every day how to value ourselves and have dreams and hope for the future. My ex-husband definitely killed my hopes for my chosen career. I wanted to work so badly and he fought me on it at every turn, and now it's too late because I can't afford to start out at a low wage now that I have 2 kids to take care of. But maybe someday.

But that all is depressing so I'll say that the only dream he didn't kill was my dream to someday foster or adopt. I wanted a large family and he used that against me, I ended up with only 2 kids and I paid dearly for them in ways that I won't talk about here. He never loved his kids, he actually told me that, they were just bargaining chips for him and I'm probably going to hell for being selfish enough to bring them into that life. I'll never forgive myself for it. But secretly I always hoped that someday I could be a foster mom and have lots of kids and that dream hasn't died yet! It's only deferred, since I imagine I'll have to find myself a steady relationship or another husband first, I've heard it's difficult for single people to foster. I'd really like to foster special needs kids, particularly kids diagnosed with autism or cognitive/developmental delays since I work with them and know better than most how to care for them. My son has Asperger's so I have experience with how to manage the home life of kids with ASD too. It's going to be difficult to achieve but it's not dead yet!

 

[TB'sWidow]

I guess I’m in the minority as I never had any big dreams. Never wanted to go to college. I have made a a good life for myself despite all of the struggles. Now Dd on the other hand has a couple of big dreams starting with going to college in New York an after graduation wanting to be a performer on Broadway