Which of life's transitions have you struggled with?

[LSUmiss]

Both of my parents are gone, dad died last Dec.
Becoming an orphan, even as an adult, has been the hardest transition.

Same. My dad died almost 7 years ago nor & my mom just suddenly died of cardiac arrest this past July.

 

[Rogue1677x]

It certainly wasn't a life transition that was expected but in 2019 when my father fell down a flight of stairs, he ended up cracking his skull in 4 places. The subsequent amnesia eventually resolved but he's permanently stuck in the personality of a hot tempered 12 year old with a Godzilla obsession.

Every now and then glimpses of my father pre-fall will reappear but it's seldom and brief.

The life stage that is a struggle is my daughter will be graduating high school this year. She's going to community college so she's going to live at home, but it's just so startling how fast my little nugget grew up.

 

[Magical2017]

Becoming a mom in my late 30s, and having a second baby at 40.

 

[nancipants]

My parents' divorce when I was in college.
My aunt dying of Alzheimer's Disease.
Becoming a mom.

 

[China Expat]

Right here, right now. Sitting in the hospital watching my 86 year old mother a day after hip surgery wake up and not know who I am or where she is. I had a panic attack at the hospital. It's tragic watching a once vibrant person reduced to a shell from dementia. She can never live alone again. She will be taken to a skilled nursing facility this weekend and I think the end will be near.

 

[goofyernmost]

Having turned 75 this past summer and having pre-existing back issue has made old age quite the challenge. Pain everyday from the back affecting my walking and standing coupled with aging itself is the biggest challenge I have ever had to deal with. I know this sounds weird but happily I have no terminal illnesses yet, but not feeling very good without that debilitating side of it, is very hard to accept. When you first hit that hurdle where you can no longer do things that were second nature to you in the past, it is a major reality check and is accompanied with a lot of anger at oneself for not being able to function normally. We spend a lot of time saying things like "well, the good thing is we live a lot longer" followed by the question, is it?

 

[DawnM]

Right here, right now. Sitting in the hospital watching my 86 year old mother a day after hip surgery wake up and not know who I am or where she is. I had a panic attack at the hospital. It's tragic watching a once vibrant person reduced to a shell from dementia. She can never live alone again. She will be taken to a skilled nursing facility this weekend and I think the end will be near.

This was my dad when he got Covid last summer. He never was able to live at home again. And he was so confused. He passed away about 6 months later.

One time he was in the hospital and he said, "I am worried they are going to force me to get an abortion and I don't want one..

Um, I got your back dad! I PROMISE you I will NEVER let that happen!

He was the wisest man I knew. He was always full of energy. He was great at his job, loved and respected by most, was put in leadership positions even when he didn't want them, etc.....it was so hard.

 

[mjkacmom]

Becoming an empty nester. Just seems like the nest emptied fast. We had 4 kids in 7 years, so they all left in quick succession.

And covid was as our youngest was graduating high school, so many of her activities abruptly ended without closure that I felt even more gyped.

#4 and #5 graduated HS in 2021, the last 1 1/2 years were online, so much was missed (had 5 in 6 1/2 years so close in age). Sports, concerts, junior/senior milestones, college visits...

 

[luvnwdwgal]

Right here, right now. Sitting in the hospital watching my 86 year old mother a day after hip surgery wake up and not know who I am or where she is. I had a panic attack at the hospital. It's tragic watching a once vibrant person reduced to a shell from dementia. She can never live alone again. She will be taken to a skilled nursing facility this weekend and I think the end will be near.

My MIL broke her hip twice at the age of 91 over 2 years ago, and is still with us, although in a nursing home because she refused therapy and her “kids”, who were in their late 60’s and early 70’s, couldn’t take care of her themselves. She also has dementia and is 94 now. I don’t know what’s worse. She’s literally just laying in bed now. Barely eats or drinks and is down to 79 pounds. Personally I’m praying that God takes her and puts her out of her misery.

 

[snowwite]

My husband’s retirement. After having several years of “me” time all day long which I loved, I now have my husband around 24/7. Love him dearly but he is driving me nuts.

My friend’s husband retired early. He began calling her at work (we are nurses and were on a busy cancer ward at the time) to ask her urgent questions like where are my socks, I can’t find the catsup, what’s for dinner? As I was walking away I heard her tell him to please pretend she is dead and so what he would do if he couldn’t call!

 

[snowwite]

Both of my parents are gone, dad died last Dec.
Becoming an orphan, even as an adult, has been the hardest transition.

For me too. I miss them every day.

 

[snowwite]

Losing my 35 year old daughter unexpectedly a few months ago. Watching her husband and newly adopted little boys losing their wife/mom.

Secondly, becoming a widow at 52 eleven years ago.

So sorry for your loss.

 

[ncc1701]

Both of my parents are gone, dad died last Dec.
Becoming an orphan, even as an adult, has been the hardest transition.

It is a strange time. My Mom died a few months ago. She was the last (& youngest) of mine & DH's Parents. When feeling low, I try to remember how lucky we were to have them as long as we did.And that we had great relationships. They all lived to be 86 or older.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

Going from being totally unable to work or hold down a job due to disability to power-studying a course that will lead to my being self employed.

 

[maxaroni]

Another one who lost a parent this year, now an orphan. My dad passed away 1/1/23, so the holidays are very hard this year. If it wasn’t going to be hard enough when my dad passed, he died via suicide and it put another layer on this.
We will get though it as a family, however, I have a hard time being the matriarch of the family.

 

[SpaceMan5]

Going from being totally unable to work or hold down a job due to disability to power-studying a course that will lead to my being self employed.

Outstanding! My favorite post of the day to someone that won't give up. Cheers!

 

[goofyernmost]

I not only marvel at the idea, but also struggle with the fact that I have one daughter that I think will be extremely distraught when I go, and another that might fair even worse because she refuses to accept that I am of the age where it can be truthfully said that one has one foot in the grave that the other on a banana peal.

Just a heads up, once you make the decision to be a parent, it never stops and has the same permanency as a Supreme Court judge. You see them occasionally making what you thought would and did turn out to be a mistake but you cannot correct them because they are adults and have the same rights to live their own lives as I insisted on having for myself so many years ago. I define it this way, with one daughter turning 50 in a couple weeks and the other just two years behind that I am their Father, but I am no longer their Daddy. I cannot stop them, all I can do is offer my advice (if they ask for it) and then it is out of my hands. Let me tell you they will always be your children, but in name only. That, however, doesn't mean that you no longer have the urge to protect them and want to attempt to fix their problems and feel the fear when they get sick or wander off the path.

 

[Disneyland1084]

Becoming a mom in my late 30s, and having a second baby at 40.

I had a baby at 26, 30 and 40. Two girls and a boy. He's 4 now. I had more energy with my girls. When I was 4 weeks pregnant with DS (before I knew I was) I fell flat on my face at a shopping center the Saturday before Christmas in front of hundreds of people, lol. I got up quick, but my leg hurt for over a month.

 

[snowwite]

Going from being totally unable to work or hold down a job due to disability to power-studying a course that will lead to my being self employed.

Good for you

 

[SC Minnie]

I not only marvel at the idea, but also struggle with the fact that I have one daughter that I think will be extremely distraught when I go, and another that might fair even worse because she refuses to accept that I am of the age where it can be truthfully said that one has one foot in the grave that the other on a banana peal.

Just a heads up, once you make the decision to be a parent, it never stops and has the same permanency as a Supreme Court judge. You see them occasionally making what you thought would and did turn out to be a mistake but you cannot correct them because they are adults and have the same rights to live their own lives as I insisted on having for myself so many years ago. I define it this way, with one daughter turning 50 in a couple weeks and the other just two years behind that I am their Father, but I am no longer their Daddy. I cannot stop them, all I can do is offer my advice (if they ask for it) and then it is out of my hands. Let me tell you they will always be your children, but in name only. That, however, doesn't mean that you no longer have the urge to protect them and want to attempt to fix their problems and feel the fear when they get sick or wander off the path.

DH is struggling letting DD be an adult. She's 29 and lives with her boyfriend. Just last night he was talking about how he wished he knew more about this and that. I told him it's not our problem or concern. She's a grown up. He didn't tell his parent all his business when he was 29.

The thing that has struck me the most in a life transition is my father passing in 2021. He went in the hospital for some issues breathing and after 2 weeks passed. I knew he had lost a lot of weight but he was under 100 lbs at this time. His wife came to see him twice in those 2 weeks. Twice. The hospital was 5 min from their house. I stayed with him every day and at the end during the night. The hospital was 45 min from my house. It is hard having your father ask for your opinion when the Dr is asking if wants a DNR order. It's hard being the one forced to make those decisions.