Wife not interested in Disney Cruise but we all want to go (with her! :) )

[DisBNewB]

I wouldn't try and force her into it, or "convince" her. I would, though, try to talk through her concerns with her, and if she still isn't interested, ask if she's okay about you going with the kids.

FWIW, when we took our cruise in the fall - first cruise ever - I made a post that said, "We're both scared of cruises, and [wife] hates Disney, so logically our next vacation is a Disney Cruise." It sounds like a punchline of a joke, but it's totally true.

My fears weren't reasonable, so I could remind myself of that and get over them. My wife:
*doesn't like people
*doesn't do well in crowds
*was pre-med and knows too much about transmission of viruses & so was terrified of getting norovirus
*was a cook and so knows too much about food safety and public sanitation and so was paranoid about getting food poisoning
*is generally anxious and was terrified about our kiddo (then 9) going overboard

A big part of the reason she was willing to say okay to a cruise was that it was on DCL, b/c they have good track records in terms of cleanliness and food handling and safety. She hates crowds (gets panic attacks, so it's not just "hates"), so avoided the places and events with large crowds when possible (she didn't come to the halloween bash, and stayed in the back during the halloween tree lighting. she didn't go to the shows in the theatre. so in terms of crowds, the only real times she had to deal with them was embarkation/disembarkation, really. During the pirate party, she found a table off to the side and sat there; during the sail awave party, we watched it from one deck up where there were far fewer people. Our trip also went to WDW at the stop in PC, and we decided to play that one by ear, and she ended up not coming. (She really enjoyed the day on the ship with only about 60 other people!)

So - there are ways to do it that can help alleviate her worries (though there's never any guarantee you won't get sick. My wife did end up getting sick at the end of the cruise in the end), and I feel like that's different than trying to convince her she's wrong. But if they're big enough worries that she can't move past them - that's okay, too.

And, if it helps, for what it's worth, we're saving up and trying to find ways to cruise again, so clearly my wife has gotten over those worries. ;-)

 

[FigmentSpark]

My DH hates crowds, so we get a verandah room. That way, he can just chill there instead of having to hunt for a chair upstairs. He finds it quite relaxing. We do the MDRs for breakfast/lunch if Cabanas is crowded, or go at off times or even to Flo's cafe.

Also for your wife, offer to take the kids so she can enjoy Satelite Falls or the adult only section or maybe even spa time or the gym (not that she needs it, ).

Are your kids older? My kids laughed at me because it was "Disney" and they were 12 and 14 when we went. My older one even had to to be tricked into going to the clubs, but made a friend within 30 seconds. Now, my kids can't wait to get back on the ship, not because they want quality family time, but because they had such a great time in the clubs, making friends, doing their own thing and of course, eating what they wanted when they wanted and as much as they wanted.

I agree, your wife shouldn't be forced, but maybe if you addressed her fears it will help. We did 7 days for our first, but maybe your first is 3 or 4 days, maybe after 4 days in the park? That way, she'll be ready to relax and if someone gets sick, it will not ruin the park days.

Good luck. Let us know how it went.

 

[T & R]

When my wife booked our first cruise I was so upset at her. I had no desire to be stuck on a ship with thousands of other people's screaming kids. I had made assumptions on what I thought it would be like and they didn't look good. This was a prime example in my life of don't knock it until you've tried it.

Fast forward to today and I am so glad we went on that first DCL cruise. We now try to go every March and October. I actually mentioned to her the other day that I didn't think twice a year was enough. My only regret is not going sooner and I cannot believe I had been going through life with my kids unaware how awesome DCL is. Every time we get back onboard my wife teases me and reminds me of my negative reaction when she booked our first DCL cruise.

Just FYI, if she's skeptical then make sure you do the first cruise right. Don't do like a 3 nighter or something where you're rushed and don't get to fully soak in the experience. Also try the veranda room especially if you currently live somewhere where there is no ocean view.

 

[towels]

Our first cruise to see if we'd like it was a West Coast Repo cruise. Vancouver, one day at sea, SF, LA. That sort of thing would be an option to look at for those that worry about being stuck in the "middle of nowhere"
Repo cruises tend to be less crowded too.

 

[Husker Mike]

Contrarian opinion here. I would only consider going without a spouse if - AND ONLY IF - she brings the idea up initially. And even then, it's a last resort. My wife and I work long hours, and our kids are busy as well. I consider vacation time sacred to spend time with my wife and family. It's OK to go through her fears and concerns, and if she still doesn't want to go, I'd find another vacation alternative because she matters more than Disney.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Anyway, we went home. It was easy. On a cruise ship, it'd be impossible.

Actually, no. If you get sick onboard, to the point that you can't continue the cruise, you would be debarked and you can go home.

 

[monkeydawn]

Plenty of other people have addressed your wife's listed fears here. I'd suggest discussing the points that have been made (but under no circumstance saying that "I went on a message board and this is what they said"...call it research LOL). If discussing the issues doesnt help then I have a couple of suggestions.

Carnival used to have a program where if you hated a cruise they would send you home from the first port of call. Check and see if they or other lines have this guarantee. See if she'd consider sailing under those circumstances.

Or could you all travel as a family to a port and have a mini land based vacation and then those that want to cruise do a short 3 or 4 day cruise while the others continue on a land based vacation?

While I agree it isnt fair to try to coerce your wife into cruising if she really doesnt want to do so, it also isnt fair that you never get to experience it. It feels like there should be some room for compromise.

And if she does agree to try a guaranteed cruise really, really research time of year, route, etc. so that you choose the most likely calmest times. Its one less thing that can make the trip miserable. Id also make sure there is no more than one sea day between embarkation and the first port of call this way she isnt miserable for too long if she is willing to give it a try.

 

[Disneyfamforsure]

If you can swing it, go concierge. I don't particularly like crowds of people and dealing with lines and stress especially when on vacation. If you can get a concierge room then you can avoid a lot of the issues associated with cruises, little to no lines, no waiting for elevators to disembark or tender, private lounge space with plenty of breathing room, a dedicated team to address any and all concerns or issues that may come up. It is a totally different experience. But choosing to go Disney also addresses a lot of those concerns you mentioned just with their overall cleanliness and attention to detail. Combine Disney with concierge and it is amazing.

 

[Mainsail Minnie]

DCL has actually resued multiple people who have fallen overboard from other ships. Tell her that, as well as the fact that is impossible to fall of a Disney ship. You could jump, but not accidentally fall.

You can get sick anywhere. We've sailed DCL 6 times, and 4 of those times were in winter (cold & flu season), and we've never gotten anything. DCL has very high cleanliness standards, well.

Disagree with a PP who described the atrium as always being a "sea of people". It can get crowded when an event is going on there, but otherwise have been in atriums on all four ships at many times of day when no one or just a few people are present.

The ships don't feel crowded to us. There are almost always people around, but that's different from crowding. It isn't typically packed or uncomfortable at all.

 

[DCLPrincess]

Many people are nervous before their first cruise and think they won't like it but they end up loving it. I know, I was one of them. I don't think there's anything wrong with encouraging people to try new things. You don't know until you try. Videos and pictures are a good way to see what to expect but also let her know being nervous is normal.

 

[mmouse37]

We are boarding the Fantasy this Sat also

Are you guys on the "other" site group page?

MJ

 

[Spiffy MacSpiff]

Nothing wrong with encouraging your partner to try something new. I've done things that DH wanted to do but I was averse to, and he's done things for me that didn't really interest him... but we did them because we're a team and we support each other, and both of us have been pleasantly surprised on more than one occasion. Is there something / somewhere that she's been wanting to experience but you're reluctant? Maybe you can trade off; she tries a cruise and you try... ???

 

[jlwhitney]

Are you guys on the "other" site group page?

MJ

No we arent

 

[jetydosa]

I had similar concerns before we went on our first cruise (Disney Dream). Not "cruise" people, not over-ly "Disney" people. In my mind, I was like cruise ships are nasty, filled with nasty people, entire ship gets sick, disgusting buffets, etc - NO THANKS.

Several co-workers had gone on Disney cruises and raved about them to me - not just like "oh, go they are neat" but "GO ITS AWESOME!". Eventually decided to bite the bullet and go but man I had SERIOUS reservations right up to the point I stepped onboard.

10 minutes on board I was like - this is AMAZING! LOL. We have gone on a cruise every year since.

I would try and get her to read some of the comments like this on this board. Watch some videos maybe. Or ultimately - go without and then when you guys come back raving and talking about how much she would have loved it, shell go on the next one.

 

[Starwind]

As someone who has less than no desire to ever go on a cruise, I thought I'd chime in here.

I'm not concerned about stomach viruses or falling overboard. But the thought of being basically trapped on a ship for X days is not appealing to me at all. I realize this might not happen, but what if I got sick (having nothing to do with some cruise-related thing) and didn't want to be there anymore? I'd have to stick it out--I wouldn't be able to just leave. Or if I was having a terrible time for any reason. I'd be stuck there.

It's the trapped-on-the-ship part that is probably my biggest concern, and there's no way to counter that, since, except for a dire emergency where I guess they'd send a helicopter for you (if that were possible), you are stuck on the ship for the duration.

A few trips ago to WDW, I got so sick that I didn't want to be there anymore. For me, that's darn sick, since I've lasted through illnesses at WDW before and it's been fine. Anyway, we went home. It was easy. On a cruise ship, it'd be impossible.

OP, go on the cruise with your kids. Your wife is not required to go and I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to go.

My solution was to do a four night cruise as our first cruise. I didn't know if I would like cruising and I KNOW I get motion sickness, so I didn't want to end up possibly miserable stuck on a 7 night cruise. But I felt 3 nights mught be too short. SO we did a four night -- Nassau, Castaway Cay, and a day at sea to get a good feel for cruising. We feel in love with it, even though yes I do get motion sickness on the ship, and land sickness once the cruise is over...

As for being severely ill, depending what was wrong with you you might get offloaded at a port, but then you would have the added issue of possibly being in a foreign country and needing to make your way home -- being on the ship might be better unless you needed a hospital level of care.

SW

 

[mmouse37]

No we arent

We just booked the cruise less than 3 weeks ago

 

[mmmears]

Hi! My kids and I really want to vacation on a Disney Cruise but my wife is anti. She has heard/seen way too many stories/news reports about cruises being over crowded, stomach viruses, people falling overboard etc. Help me to get her comfortable with the idea so that we can go on what I know will be an amazing trip!

I was really reluctant but had a great time on my first Disney cruise. As far as crowds go, book a time that isn't during a big holiday, and consider one of the smaller ships (Magic and Wonder have fewer passengers).

 

[greensombrero]

I’ll chime in here because I was the husband who said he’d never go on a cruise period. I was very clear with my wife I’d never do it when it came up after we were first married. My reasons were partially fear/anxiety, partially thinking being on a ship would be boring and partially thinking you wouldn’t really see anything. It took me a number of years and my wife really didn’t pressure or mention it. We love Disney and Disneyland and I read about Disney cruises kind of randomly and gradually warmed to the idea. Then we wanted to do something different vacation wise with our kids and I just took the plunge. We just got back 2 weeks ago from our first cruise and I absolutely loved it. I wish I had tried it sooner. I think my point is don’t assume they won’t ever warm to the idea and give them a chance to read/hear about others experiences. That is largely what did it for me. There are lots of great trip reports here and vlogs on YouTube etc. There are also some great podcasts like the DCL podcast where people share their experiences. I’ve got a trip report started over on the trip reports forum about my first time experience going from I’m never going to cruise to absolutely loving it. That thirteen night transatlantic crossing that would have terrified me is now a bucket list item. People change their views but rarely via pressure, best to let it happen organically. I will warn you though trying cruising can get you hooked.

 

[cruisehopeful]

If she truly doesn't want to go there's no reason to pressure her. Go without her. If you come back with stories/pictures about how great of a time you had, maybe she'll join you in the future. Vacations take a lot of time and money and it's not worth forcing anyone to go on one. My husband and I take separate vacations often. We enjoy different things.

 

[c todd]

I second the cruise Concierge response. Concierge on the Fantasy or Dream is a wonderful experience, No crowds, no lines, the hallways are quiet and peaceful.