Will my future inlaws embrace the wedding?

lysha16

Earning My Ears
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Hi,
I recently got engaged. My fiance and I met while working at Epcot and have been together four years. It is no secret that his parents aren't my biggest fans. I've been dreaming of a Disney wedding since I was ten. I have just completed the intinerary and then I had this thought, "What if my inlaws think it's childish?" I just have this worst case scenario in my head that when I share with them my plans they will have even lower views of me for wanting a Disney wedding... They just seem the snotty type and have really high standards. But my fiance has four nieces and nephews, I wanted to have a small celebration with mainly family and had the intention of including the kids as much as possible.

I'm just afraid this will sour our already fragile relationship.
Anyone else ever go through this?
 

lorimay

Celebrating 33 years! 🥰😍
Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Think positive!
It's yours and your fiance's day, fulfill YOUR dream.
Disney Weddings are magical, people still talk about my daughter's Disney wedding 11 years later!

**A grandma tip: let her know right off the bat, that you are including her grandkids in everything, its Disney, that will help!
 
  • nigel-bigel

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 8, 2001
    I am going to guess that the in-laws aren't going to like anything you do, regardless of what it is.

    They WILL think the Disney wedding is kind of childish. They will also think that a different destination wedding was at a horrible venue, the local country club wedding was chintzy yet overpriced, the museum wedding was pretentious. If they are looking for reasons to say you did a poor job planning the wedding, I promise they will find them - wherever the wedding is.

    Please please please have the wedding YOU AND DF WANT. Do not plan this one special day to please or impress anyone but the two of you. Your efforts will be wasted.

    In-laws eventually can come around. I suspect that seeing you in your element, sharing your joy with the grandchildren they dearly love, can only help your relationship in the long run.

    Best of luck to you.

    Nicole
     

    aristocatz

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 22, 2009
    How special that you decided to get married in the same place where you first met!

    It's your day, not theirs and they will get used to it.

    Please don't change your dream to appease others, even if those others are your future in laws. You will regret it.
     

    jerseygal

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 1, 2008
    Congratulations!:love: Please try to please you and your DF first. Your parents and in laws preferences should be considered, but it is you and your DF wedding. Your parents and in laws had the opportunity to plan their own wedding, now it is your turn. Wedding planning is very exciting, but there are stresses that come along with it. My recommendation is to communicate with your parents and in laws, make them feel loved and involved, BUT in positive way that they know that this is your event. There might will be decisions along the way that perhaps your parents or in laws aren't wild about, but they hopefully will respect that this is your incredible day. Best of luck!pixiedust:
     
  • Karin1984

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 5, 2012
    Maybe it's not as bad as you think. You and your DF met while working at Epcot. Either his partners were fine with Disney, or he has a very strong personality to overthrow the wishes of his parents and went to work at Disney after all. Either way is good. Have you ever heard them talk about Disney, did they go to Disney as a family?

    You and your DF come first, and depending on how much his parents are involved (as in paying for the wedding) you might be able to meet them half their snotty way, as in chosing one of the ballrooms for the reception and have it look more upscale.
     

    TikiBabe

    'ohana
    Joined
    Dec 14, 2018
    Sorry to be blunt here but have been through this myself very recently. His side of the family are not Disney people, they are the same way as your fiance's family. They told him when he announced to them that we were going to have a Disney wedding (not that it should have been a shock to them) that they didn't want anything to do with it. They have not contributed at all and will not be at our wedding to be of any support emotionally for their son etc. We have basically not spoken to them in months since we announced it. They have not done anything to reach out and so fiance and I said we will not let them rain on our parade and are doing our upcoming wedding for us, because in the end that is what matters, us and that we are happy celebrating our love. The people that want to be there will come and they will matter and be thanked genuinely.

    You are going to have a rough emotional road like we did it seems. Just be prepared. Prepping for the wedding has shown us the ugly in inter-family relationships bigtime that we thought we would never see or deal with.

    I wish you and your fiance luck and hope you have the day of your dreams. :hug:
     

    lorimay

    Celebrating 33 years! 🥰😍
    Joined
    Dec 11, 2008
    Sorry to be blunt here but have been through this myself very recently. His side of the family are not Disney people, they are the same way as your fiance's family. They told him when he announced to them that we were going to have a Disney wedding (not that it should have been a shock to them) that they didn't want anything to do with it. They have not contributed at all and will not be at our wedding to be of any support emotionally for their son etc. We have basically not spoken to them in months since we announced it. They have not done anything to reach out and so fiance and I said we will not let them rain on our parade and are doing our upcoming wedding for us, because in the end that is what matters, us and that we are happy celebrating our love. The people that want to be there will come and they will matter and be thanked genuinely.

    You are going to have a rough emotional road like we did it seems. Just be prepared. Prepping for the wedding has shown us the ugly in inter-family relationships bigtime that we thought we would never see or deal with.

    I wish you and your fiance luck and hope you have the day of your dreams. :hug:
    Wow! I feel so sorry for your future husband, it must be hard to see this reaction from your parents because of where you choose to be married.
    They are willing to loose their son and possible future grandchildren over this???
    What is wrong with people? they will regret their behavior.

    Have a wonderful wedding enjoy every moment!!!!
     

    TikiBabe

    'ohana
    Joined
    Dec 14, 2018
    Wow! I feel so sorry for your future husband, it must be hard to see this reaction from your parents because of where you choose to be married.
    They are willing to loose their son and possible future grandchildren over this???
    What is wrong with people? they will regret their behavior.

    Have a wonderful wedding enjoy every moment!!!!
    :hug:Thanks.
     
  • Wild4Walt

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 28, 2008
    I can only recommend when you do tell them that you and your fiancé show a united front. You should both be there when it's announced because then it shows it's something you've chosen together and are both on board with.

    It's your wedding and if it's something you can afford and want to do, ultimately it is the decision of the 2 of you.

    Congrats and enjoy the ride!
     

    Melissa Perez

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 20, 2017
    They WILL think the Disney wedding is kind of childish. They will also think that a different destination wedding was at a horrible venue, the local country club wedding was chintzy yet overpriced, the museum wedding was pretentious. If they are looking for reasons to say you did a poor job planning the wedding, I promise they will find them - wherever the wedding is.
    I will speak from experience on this one too. I got married last fall and compromised to do a local wedding instead of the Disney wedding I always wanted. My now MIL threw a fit over her hair and makeup (that my family generously paid for) the morning of my wedding.

    Breathe, relax and realize this is a lifetime commitment between you and your DF. Have the wedding day the two of you dream about, and forget the rest. Rooting for you!
     

    queenofthehill

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 12, 2008
    Hi,
    I recently got engaged. My fiance and I met while working at Epcot and have been together four years. It is no secret that his parents aren't my biggest fans. I've been dreaming of a Disney wedding since I was ten. I have just completed the intinerary and then I had this thought, "What if my inlaws think it's childish?" I just have this worst case scenario in my head that when I share with them my plans they will have even lower views of me for wanting a Disney wedding... They just seem the snotty type and have really high standards. But my fiance has four nieces and nephews, I wanted to have a small celebration with mainly family and had the intention of including the kids as much as possible.

    I'm just afraid this will sour our already fragile relationship.
    Anyone else ever go through this?
    Well honestly since they aren't your biggest fans anyway then chances are they will hate whatever ever you decide, even if you have black tie affair at the four seasons. So if they're going to hate it anyway you might as well do what YOU and your FH want.

    ETA: I didn't have a disney wedding, but in general when planning my own wedding, I didn't talk to most people IRL about it. It's exciting so it was hard but I depended on the kindness of internet strangers to have wedding talk with, this way I wasn't bombared with the desires of family members. I planned the wedding I wanted. No one even knew the date until they received the invitation. I will say I am pretty lucky that my in-laws are all amazing but weddings can sometimes bring the worst out of people and I wasn't interested in seeing it.
    Good Luck
     

    paisleys

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 25, 2013
    Sorry to be blunt here but have been through this myself very recently. His side of the family are not Disney people, they are the same way as your fiance's family. They told him when he announced to them that we were going to have a Disney wedding (not that it should have been a shock to them) that they didn't want anything to do with it. They have not contributed at all and will not be at our wedding to be of any support emotionally for their son etc. We have basically not spoken to them in months since we announced it. They have not done anything to reach out and so fiance and I said we will not let them rain on our parade and are doing our upcoming wedding for us, because in the end that is what matters, us and that we are happy celebrating our love. The people that want to be there will come and they will matter and be thanked genuinely.

    You are going to have a rough emotional road like we did it seems. Just be prepared. Prepping for the wedding has shown us the ugly in inter-family relationships bigtime that we thought we would never see or deal with.

    I wish you and your fiance luck and hope you have the day of your dreams. :hug:
    Ugh, this makes me so sad! OP, what TikiBabe said here is very true "because in the end that is what matters, us and that we are happy celebrating our love. The people that want to be there will come and they will matter and be thanked genuinely." Trust me, 20 years down the pike you will be SO glad you had your wedding the way you wanted to. Sounds like nothing you would have done would have made things different, they would have found some other way to ruin your special day (we eloped but my mother still found a way to ruin ours!!). Also, it's good to nip stuff like this now, before grandchildren. And your fiancé sounds awesome, love the way he is standing with you on this. Best wishes to you and the OP!
     

    bopper

    Which way to the Hundred Acre Woods
    Joined
    Oct 22, 2004
    Start as you mean to go on...

    You and your DF will now form your family unit. Make your plans, (of course consider your families), but if you cannot stand up to them now, it will get worse later.

    Your're getting married at Disney? "It is meaningful to us. We hope you can make it."
    I'm not coming if you are getting married at Disney "So sorry to hear that. We will miss you."

    Others had/will have a chance to plan their own weddings. This is your time to plan your own.
     

    cheryl.UK

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 30, 1999
    Do what makes you happy. Our Disney wedding was just for us 2. We had 3 guests. No family arguments because we didn't tell them! We wanted Disney because that it=s our happy place but we knew that it would be impossible for my mum to be there, so to avoid leaving her out...we left everyone out. We had a big party a month later in a lovely barn out in the countryside and invited EVERYONE!!!

    If it all goes mental, perhaps plan a small celebration closer to their home afterwards.
     

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