Women should be MOTHERS NOT CEO's Graduation Speech

[PaulaSB12]

To me, that's what offended me most.
The assumption that all the women in that hall/gymnasium/what have you, would all one day want to/are able to start a family.
At that age, I never wanted children. Never ever ever.
Ten years later and I still don't really want children.
Having someone tell me my most important role in life is to have children is kind of... degrading, I find.
What about all those women (and men) who chose not to have a family in order to better our world in other ways (cures for diseases, for example, didn't just pop out of nowhere)? Are they.. any less... because family did not come first for them?

No I think what his message was that the family needs to come first instead of the incessant need for things. If you are a CEO working 10 hours plus every day then you are not able to parent with the hours that you work that is all he is saying. This reminds me of a woman saying how she was shocked that when she was at school (just after the end of WW1) a teacher stood and told them not to think of marriage but to forge onwards with the goal of having a career rather than family, she was offended by the idea that most of the girls would not want to have a marriage and family but it turned out that 1 in 10 of these girls did marry due to the lack of men after the war. Its not an attack on women wanting to work its an attack on people who think that work is the be all and and all of things men as well as women, saying if you choose to have children they should be your priority and from what I have seen from parents on this board working and stay at home that is how they feel. As for assuming that everyone can have them well that is what most people do think and you cant expect people to start a message by saying for these able to have babies that would be unreasonable.

 

[Ember]

Would anyone even blink an eye if it was directed towards men? We don't need more CEOs we need more invested fathers? I seriously doubt it, but since its directed towards women, we are shocked, dismayed, appalled, how dare thee suggest women stay home to be a full time mom. As a dad I would love for my SO to be a CEO so I could stay home and be a SAHD. (Not that I have a SO at the moment just sayin)

But with that being said, women and men can be anything they want today. Its just one guys opinion, who really cares? Women are just as free to become a CEO as a man, so who really cares? Its not like anyone is suggesting "we need more laws to keep women away from the work place and in the home bare foot and pregnant where they belong!!!"

Yes, I would have a problem with it if it were phrased the same way. No one deserves to be told that their "greatest role" is predefined. Or that the "greatest impact [they] will ever contribute" is nothing more than basic reproductive biology. If that is what a woman or a man wants, great. But let's not paint people into a corner, devalue them and limit their potential because of the plumbing between their legs.

 

[Manateemum]

Someone should have told Karen Nyberg about this before she blasted off to the International Space Station. Her husband is at home caring for their son.

The speech is inappropriate. There are lots of ways to be a good mother. Being a sahm doesn't automatically make you one.

 

[frndshpcptn]

No I think what his message was that the family needs to come first instead of the incessant need for things. If you are a CEO working 10 hours plus every day then you are not able to parent with the hours that you work that is all he is saying. This reminds me of a woman saying how she was shocked that when she was at school (just after the end of WW1) a teacher stood and told them not to think of marriage but to forge onwards with the goal of having a career rather than family, she was offended by the idea that most of the girls would not want to have a marriage and family but it turned out that 1 in 10 of these girls did marry due to the lack of men after the war. Its not an attack on women wanting to work its an attack on people who think that work is the be all and and all of things men as well as women, saying if you choose to have children they should be your priority and from what I have seen from parents on this board working and stay at home that is how they feel. As for assuming that everyone can have them well that is what most people do think and you cant expect people to start a message by saying for these able to have babies that would be unreasonable.

Don't most people that have careers work 10+ hours a day? Even if they are not CEO? I know I'm not a CEO, but I work 9-7 generally. I also check my Blackberry in the evening one or two times, as well as over the weekend. i still do manage to have dinner at home 4 out of 5 nights a week (except nights where I have work-related events).

I really don't anyone who can only work 8 hour days...

 

[MouseJunkie]

Your words rings so true! I am a transplant also with kids in the EHS school system. Mayberry is the perfect word for Greentown- down to the two town officers patrolling. The school tests highly on the state tests, has a high graduation rate and you can tell from the sports results that education is a priority (although this year we a few state champs in track).

Eastern is a good place, but this is not how you want it to become known. This venue of a high school graduation is not an appropriate place for Mr. Heck to speak his view. Another venue is fine, but not a high school graduation ceremony. Most people liked it- that is there view and what is the norm around Greentown. I guess those of us who are outsiders find it hard to swallow that this can be said. Eastern does get away with having religious stuff in class- my kids had classes at the elementary where they could participate in a group prayer before lunch.

What a small world. huh! Yeah, this speech should most definitely not be Greentown's claim to fame, whether you're on board with the sentiments or not. I only attended High School at Eastern. I came from Western. Talk about two entirely different worlds!

 

[MouseJunkie]

Wow...... It's a Small World after all! For a small town, we have several EHS grads & families on the DIS.

(insert apology for having that song in your head for the rest of the day)

I'm an EHS grad from the early 70's and have had family in the system since the early 60's. The town demographics haven't changed much over the decades. Sorry to hear that your name still makes a difference, though.

It's definitely a small world, in more ways than one. lol And yes, thanks so much for your reference to "It's a small world." I'll be thinking of you at 2:00 a.m., when I can't sleep because it's still a small world, afterall.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Truth be known, at times, I'd rather be a stay at home dog mom. Still waiting for that to catch on.

I can dream, can't I?!!

 

[PaulaSB12]

Don't most people that have careers work 10+ hours a day? Even if they are not CEO? I know I'm not a CEO, but I work 9-7 generally. I also check my Blackberry in the evening one or two times, as well as over the weekend. i still do manage to have dinner at home 4 out of 5 nights a week (except nights where I have work-related events).

I really don't anyone who can only work 8 hour days...

I work 12 hour shifts but only work 180 day per year, take out 24 days holiday that is only 156 days per year.

 

[RileysMom07]

I get so tired of hearing this kind of argument. Life was great in the 40s and 50s, blah, blah, blah. Sure it was, if your cultural narrative was an American-born, white, middle-class, Christian male. Try talking to immigrants, women, poor people, non-Christians and other historically marginalized people. Ask them how great is was growing up in the 40s and 50s when they were disenfranchised, unable to receive medical treatment, segregated, etc. When physical and sexual abuse was swept under the rug by everyone, including the legal system, clergy and families. When unmarried women who became pregnant were shipped off to have the baby and then forced to give it away, or underwent extremely dangerous "medical" procedures to end an unwanted pregnancy. When children with disabilities were send to "mental asylums" for their entire lives. When men could run off with a mistress and not be held accountable to the family they left behind.

I know you don't care to look at stats to back up your flawed argument, but maybe you should try talking to some people who are non-white, non-male, non-Christian, etc. to see if their experience is different than you assume.

This. I completely agree. Well said.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

No I think what his message was that the family needs to come first instead of the incessant need for things. If you are a CEO working 10 hours plus every day then you are not able to parent with the hours that you work that is all he is saying. This reminds me of a woman saying how she was shocked that when she was at school (just after the end of WW1) a teacher stood and told them not to think of marriage but to forge onwards with the goal of having a career rather than family, she was offended by the idea that most of the girls would not want to have a marriage and family but it turned out that 1 in 10 of these girls did marry due to the lack of men after the war. Its not an attack on women wanting to work its an attack on people who think that work is the be all and and all of things men as well as women, saying if you choose to have children they should be your priority and from what I have seen from parents on this board working and stay at home that is how they feel. As for assuming that everyone can have them well that is what most people do think and you cant expect people to start a message by saying for these able to have babies that would be unreasonable.

But the thing is, that's not what he said. He told all those young girls that their greatest goal in life is to have children and raise them properly. And that is not the sort of message young girls should be hearing today.

A better message should have been, "Follow your dreams. And if your dreams include children, make sure they are your top priority. If they're not, make sure you reach for your dreams as hard as you can."

Or better yet. Take an example from the American armed forces. "Be all that you can be"... in everything you do.

 

[Colleen27]

Don't most people that have careers work 10+ hours a day? Even if they are not CEO? I know I'm not a CEO, but I work 9-7 generally. I also check my Blackberry in the evening one or two times, as well as over the weekend. i still do manage to have dinner at home 4 out of 5 nights a week (except nights where I have work-related events).

I really don't anyone who can only work 8 hour days...

And that's part of the problem. Employers are increasingly demanding more hours, more availability, and more responsibility which leaves less and less room for family. But in this economic climate, employees really don't have the power to demand better because jobs are in such short supply. I think your schedule is much more common than the working moms who "have it all" and work full time but still make it to the kids' events and activities.

PaulaSB12, I totally envy your schedule. I've said it many times - if I was European I'd probably be a working mom. But no paid maternity leave, having to go back at 6 weeks or risk losing the job, 8 days of PTO per year that are expected to cover illnesses, school events, and vacations, and only a handful of major holidays off... Frankly, I didn't love my job enough to "live to work"; I want to "work to live" and still have time to enjoy my family and hobbies but American employers generally don't allow their workers that luxury.

 

[Laura]

And that's part of the problem. Employers are increasingly demanding more hours, more availability, and more responsibility which leaves less and less room for family. But in this economic climate, employees really don't have the power to demand better because jobs are in such short supply. I think your schedule is much more common than the working moms who "have it all" and work full time but still make it to the kids' events and activities.

PaulaSB12, I totally envy your schedule. I've said it many times - if I was European I'd probably be a working mom. But no paid maternity leave, having to go back at 6 weeks or risk losing the job, 8 days of PTO per year that are expected to cover illnesses, school events, and vacations, and only a handful of major holidays off... Frankly, I didn't love my job enough to "live to work"; I want to "work to live" and still have time to enjoy my family and hobbies but American employers generally don't allow their workers that luxury.

Which is why we need MORE women CEOs, not fewer. Those in power have historically been men with stay-at-home-wives, so workplaces now cater to working men with kids and wives at home. More working moms need to become leaders so they can help protect all parents' interests.

 

[PaulaSB12]

And that's part of the problem. Employers are increasingly demanding more hours, more availability, and more responsibility which leaves less and less room for family. But in this economic climate, employees really don't have the power to demand better because jobs are in such short supply. I think your schedule is much more common than the working moms who "have it all" and work full time but still make it to the kids' events and activities.

PaulaSB12, I totally envy your schedule. I've said it many times - if I was European I'd probably be a working mom. But no paid maternity leave, having to go back at 6 weeks or risk losing the job, 8 days of PTO per year that are expected to cover illnesses, school events, and vacations, and only a handful of major holidays off... Frankly, I didn't love my job enough to "live to work"; I want to "work to live" and still have time to enjoy my family and hobbies but American employers generally don't allow their workers that luxury.

The women where I work take a years maternity leave, and some of them job share when they come back.

 

[mhsjax]

Which is why we need MORE women CEOs, not fewer. Those in power have historically been men with stay-at-home-wives, so workplaces now cater to working men with kids and wives at home. More working moms need to become leaders so they can help protect all parents' interests.

Yes, the lady is is CEO and CFO of Facebook, Last name Sandborn or something like that, she said she leaves the office every night at either 5:00 or 5:30, she will be home for dinner every night so she can eat with her daughter. These days, your managers and/or, higher ups in the corporation put more and more demands on their employees. Not every mom or dad can leave the work place at 5:00.

If we had more women like her, I think the working world for women would be a better place.

 

[usd2bmd]

Which is why we need MORE women CEOs, not fewer. Those in power have historically been men with stay-at-home-wives, so workplaces now cater to working men with kids and wives at home. More working moms need to become leaders so they can help protect all parents' interests.

I am not sure I agree with this. The women that is have encountered in management and above levels are extremely driven and career focused and expected me to be as well. I enjoy my job to a point. But I am not
Looking to move up the ladder and will not put in more time or work while at home to prove to my employer that I am focused. I work my eight hours and I leave my work on my desk.

The men in upper mgmt have been much more understanding of the balance in my experience.

 

[Laura]

I am not sure I agree with this. The women that is have encountered in management and above levels are extremely driven and career focused and expected me to be as well. I enjoy my job to a point. But I am not
Looking to move up the ladder and will not put in more time or work while at home to prove to my employer that I am focused. I work my eight hours and I leave my work on my desk.

The men in upper mgmt have been much more understanding of the balance in my experience.

The more women in upper management, the more diverse they will be. There is a reason why you have seen those types of ladies at the top. There are many male managers with working wives and children who are very understanding and accommodating. I don't want to say all men in the C-suite are misogynists because they are not. BUT a man may understand that a woman has responsibilities outside of work and accommodate those, but will that woman also be able to move up in the company (assuming she wishes to)?

There is also a reason why women don't want to kill themselves to get to the C-suite, and it's because the few women they see there have no lives outside of work. It's partly because men in power have been conditioned to not believe a woman can hack it in an executive position if she has kids, and it's also partly because of what the leaders believe they have to do to get ahead.