Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[roliepolieoliefan]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

 

[jt'smom]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

I would totally pick that week if if best suited me and not worry about it.

 

[dotfurio]

I feel for her situation, but I'd still pick it for myself if it worked best for me. If you don't, someone after you probably will and she still won't get it. It gives her 8 months notice to find another job if she needs to quit.

 

[SMD]

Does she need the whole week? You could offer to split the week and get 2 smaller vacations out of it.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Whew, I feel for you on this one. I think it's ok for you to pick what works best for your family. That said, I think it's totally naive to think you can pick that week and not give it another thought.

In all likelihood she will negotiate every chance she gets with the person who picks the week she needs. And let's be honest, most people would do the same thing. It's not like she's going to say "oh sorry honey, can't make your wedding" and most likely she will do everything she can to avoid quitting her job and all that goes with it to attend.

I'm not sure what I would do. I would obviously try to pick a different week but it sounds like you're already backed into a corner. In all honesty I probably wouldn't take that week because while I'd feel ok about at the time, I'd probably cave at some point. I wouldn't have the heart/backbone (depending how you look at it) to keep saying no to somebody trying to get to their daughter's wedding and I'm betting she'll be persistent (as I think many would).

Good luck! It really sounds like a lose lose and very frustrating situation. I wouldn't be surprised if there was vacation musical chairs before this is all over.

 

[jdb in AZ]

I would choose that week, but tell the mother of the bride that if she can negotiate for another week you'd rather have, then you'd be willing to switch.

 

[wilkeliza]

If seniority is what let's you chose vacation time and that week is the only one that works for you that is left then pick it. Part of a seniority system is not letting newer employees give sob stories to get the time period they want.

It really stinks but maybe the daughter couldn't have waited until mom knew her schedule before choosing a date for her destination wedding in the middle of the summer. 12 people and 3 months of summer means if you are past you have a much lower chance of getting that very week and just create an issue in the work place by announcing it before hand.

 

[Rylee]

We are picking vacation for next year. For reference, I work with about 12 woman give or take and only one of us can be on vacation at a time, whether we are full or part time.

The woman last to pick started about a year ago announced last month her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off. Yada yada yada!
I understand. I know it's your daughter but that is a prime vacation week
Her daughter is a teacher and supposedly can't go any other time. The boss told her she will be lucky if that week is left when it's her turn.
So I'm in the middle of the pack to pick
I get the vacation pick sheet and guess which week is the only one left I can take ?
My son graduates high school this year middle of June . His party is the next Saturday.
So that leaves me the last week of June all of July and first 2 weeks of aug.
His college move in day is aug 17.
All are taken except the 2nd week of aug.
If I don't take it no summer vacation for us
If I do I'll feel bad
But it kind of makes me mad too she has put this guilt trip on all of us.

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

I would not take that week.

 

[BigAlsGal]

I would never work at a place like this.

 

[hereyago]

I would take the week and not give it anymore thought especially after her she will quit stuff Did the boss hear her say she would quit? Because if I heard that, I would be looking for someone to replace her.

She has been there a year, so she knows how the system works for vacations.

 

[Jillpie]

I'm actually pretty surprised at these reactions. Come on, its her daughter's wedding!! Its not like they want to take a cruise or something. Its a once in a lifetime experience, how do you miss your child's wedding? I too am curious, how far is the "destination", are we talking Hawaii, or Fl? If the latter, then maybe she can negotiate certain days with you, kind of share the week. But if its long distance, I'd suck it up and just give it to her. How can you take that away from her? Its a no brainer for me.

 

[xlxo]

her daughters destination wedding is second week of August
She has to go . She will quit if she doesn't get the week off.

Would you pick the aug week or not?
Oh FYI. There's at least 4-5 more after me to pick before wedding girl even gets her pick

To clarify....

• "where" is this destination wedding? A 2 hour drive away? How long is the flight? Is there wifi?
• "when" is the wedding? Weekend? Evening?
• if you surrender that week.... are others eager to grab it?
• How easy is it to replace her?
• if you were to take it.... would she be interested in making a deal with you to thank you for holding that time off for her? Besides the resignation letter?
• I've seen a few people make ultimatums..... Rarely do they come true.

If I was the Mother of the Bride...

• I would be planning for a quick fly-in and fly-out if the wedding was a weekend.
• Plan for a 15 minute Skype session for the ceremony
• Make them an offer they can't refuse! Is there a way the MofB could "buy/bribe" that time off?
• is this a hospital or a large office? If there is a large meeting room/auditorium... consider having the wedding local. The Mother of the Bride can slip out during a coffee break to participate before returning to work.
• Otherwise, it's time to plan for early retirement.

 

[sonnyjane]

Truth vomit coming...

Even though she's the newest employee, she's still been there for a year. That's long enough to get to form a rapport with someone, yet you don't seem to respect her very much based on the way you've written about her. Her daughter undoubtedly had to reserve the venue and plan the wedding earlier than her mom would know when her vacation would be approved. I sympathize and don't blame this woman at all, as my husband and I both work in field that requires bidding for days off at the first of the year and sometimes we just can't make things work.

I am not saying you're not entitled to also request that week off and have a vacation, just that the way you've written your post doesn't make you come off in a very gracious light. Chances are even if you don't choose those dates, one of the others before her will, which is unfortunate for her. She'll have to try to trade or I guess quit is what it comes down to, it's just not very fair to be upset with her.

 

[robinb]

I would not be the bad guy to take her week.

 

[tvguy]

There is no totally fair vacation system.
HOWEVER, every employer I have worked for that had restrictions on how many people could be off at a time, made exceptions for so called "life events".....weddings, graduations, etc. Have you asked the employer about exceptions? What happens if you have one person on vacation, another on sick leave, and someone gets jury duty?
Full disclosure, we have a limit of 1 person off in my classification. Due to special projects, vacation requests were rejected early. THEN...corporate stepped in because too many of us has too much vacation on the books. So 4 of the 5 people in my job are off this week.

 

[MamaBelle4]

I mean, I think the real question is, how would you feel if the position was reversed? If your son was getting married and you knew and let everyone in the office know so they could hopefully make their vacation plans for other times and then someone took that week instead?

Vacations come and go. This woman wants to celebrate her daughter's (hopefully) once in a life time event. I would not be the person to take that away for her. I mean, it sounds like you don't want to go that one week in June because of your son's graduation party (which, truthfully could be rescheduled for the following week more than likely) & you are debating about ta king the week you know she needs off to attend her daughter's wedding festivities?

 

[disykat]

I think you probably need to put your name on it, but I would definitely be hesitant to do so. I like the idea of telling her you're open to other weeks if she can negotiate them.

Check with your family - will that week even work for vacation for your son, etc.? Depending on summer jobs, etc., it's not always so easy to get time in the summer with kids that age. Is the week of your son's party negotiable or do people already have travel reservations?

I think it's a shame that this mom will have to quit her job, but it sounds like that's the reality. She obviously knows that's a strong possibility since she's a newer employee. I get not having everyone gone at once, but is there a way people can cover for her while she takes a quick couple of days? What does your office do when people are sick? Her DD may have to rethink the wedding date or location if she wants her mom there.

I think it stinks that you are now forced to either be the bad guy or lose the opportunity for a vacation with your son in the summer - something you probably had to forego until you had enough seniority. Either you're the bad guy, or you let it go and someone else will be. What's the likelihood the rest of the people will sacrifice it for her?

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

To clarify....

• "where" is this destination wedding? A 2 hour drive away? How long is the flight? Is there wifi?
• "when" is the wedding? Weekend? Evening?
• if you surrender that week.... are others eager to grab it?
• How easy is it to replace her?
• if you were to take it.... would she be interested in making a deal with you to thank you for holding that time off for her? Besides the resignation letter?
• I've seen a few people make ultimatums..... Rarely do they come true.

If I was the Mother of the Bride...

• I would be planning for a quick fly-in and fly-out if the wedding was a weekend.
• Plan for a 15 minute Skype session for the ceremony
• Make them an offer they can't refuse! Is there a way the MofB could "buy/bribe" that time off?
• is this a hospital or a large office? If there is a large meeting room/auditorium... consider having the wedding local. The Mother of the Bride can slip out during a coffee break to participate before returning to work.
• Otherwise, it's time to plan for early retirement.

I don't know where the wedding is. The co worker told me the daughter didn't know yet then she told someone else it's the only week the place she is getting married could accommodate her.
So who knows ?
Summer weeks are at a premium. Last year wasn't an issue because the ladies who picked first , most picked June or fall weeks. This year July was the popular month so with the way our school year falls around here, I'm 99% sure someone else would take it

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Truth vomit coming...

Even though she's the newest employee, she's still been there for a year. That's long enough to get to form a rapport with someone, yet you don't seem to respect her very much based on the way you've written about her. Her daughter undoubtedly had to reserve the venue and plan the wedding earlier than her mom would know when her vacation would be approved. I sympathize and don't blame this woman at all, as my husband and I both work in field that requires bidding for days off at the first of the year and sometimes we just can't make things work.

I am not saying you're not entitled to also request that week off and have a vacation, just that the way you've written your post doesn't make you come off in a very gracious light. Chances are even if you don't choose those dates, one of the others before her will, which is unfortunate for her. She'll have to try to trade or I guess quit is what it comes down to, it's just not very fair to be upset with her.

I agree where I work literally most people don't give a crap if u need off for a certain event even your kids wedding.
This woman has been here a year and in this year has manipulated many times to be off when she needed to.
She on more than one occasion has told people she would cover for them and then in the end it's oh yea I can't or I forgot.
One of our co workers needed to leave to go to her 3 year olds program at pre school, this woman 3 weeks before said she would cover then last minute tells her something came up.

Two weeks ago my daughter had a lacrosse tryout. One time one night thing. I was working late. My boss said try and find someone first.
Said person offered to stay if I needed her to.
The day ran late , I was stuck away from everyone else . But the place knew our group was still there.
When time was getting close that I needed to leave another co worker who is 6 months pregnant called and asked me if I needed her to stay.
I said where's so and so. She's like oh she went home she figured you'd be done.
Then she has the nerve to text me and ask if we were done. I said no
She replied oh I'm sorry I'm home I thought you'd be done.
Pregnant co worker stays for me. And I covered for her last time because it was her 3 year old that was in the program.

I could go on and on not just with myself and the other co worker but others too.
So good pick up that I certainly dont hold this person in high regard.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

There is no totally fair vacation system.
HOWEVER, every employer I have worked for that had restrictions on how many people could be off at a time, made exceptions for so called "life events".....weddings, graduations, etc. Have you asked the employer about exceptions? What happens if you have one person on vacation, another on sick leave, and someone gets jury duty?
Full disclosure, we have a limit of 1 person off in my classification. Due to special projects, vacation requests were rejected early. THEN...corporate stepped in because too many of us has too much vacation on the books. So 4 of the 5 people in my job are off this week.

I haven't asked but myself and others have rearranged vacations when others have picked "our" week prior to others over the years.
I agree our vacation policy sucks and literally something comes up like this all the time. Maybe not a wedding but it's always something
Last year a girl did get a week off when another was on vacation because she begged and pleaded and it was when her whole family was going on vacation so yes exceptions are made