Would This Offend You?

[Scurvy]

For the record I fully admit that I don't know what I'm doing and I never turn down parenting advice, even unsolicited parenting advice, because I recognize that other people have more experience than I do and maybe what they're saying might actually be helpful to me.
I don't see what parenting advice has to do with a balloon.
I think this whole thing is just about someone doing something nice for someone else, and if you don't like or you can still recognize their good intentions and thank them for their generosity.
And I think your comments have a really snide tone to them.

I don't think any of this really has much to do with a balloon. If the OP had randomly seen a child and spontaneously decided to give her a balloon for no reason other than to be nice, I think the reactions would have been very different. Sure, some people would still have pointed out reasons that it might be better not to do that, but I think over all the reactions would have been more positive even from the people who thought it might not have been a great idea. I think the real problem with this situation was the fact that the OP heard the grandmother tell the child "no" and decided to give her the balloon because of that.

She intentionally went against what the grandmother told the child and undermined her authority. And yes, as some posters have said the fact that she isn't a parent explains why she might not have realized why that would be a big deal to many parents - but she asked how parents would feel, so posters are telling her why it would bother them.

I don't think it matters at all that you are a young parent, but I do think it matters a great deal that your child is very young. You haven't had to deal with the fine line that is discipline yet. You don't know yet how much more difficult it makes your job when someone else steps in and overrules you in front of your child. If the OP had quietly asked the grandmother if she could give the child a balloon, the woman might have been happy and grateful and said yes. Or she might have been grateful but regretfully said no. But by hearing the grandmother say the child couldn't have the balloon and giving it to the child anyway, the OP might have made the grandmother's day even more difficult. And for that matter, she might have ended up making the child even more unhappy since for most children it would be more upsetting to have to get rid of their balloon than to just not get it to begin with. Most kids would probably find something new to ask for within a few minutes if denied the balloon, but having to give away/get rid of something that is already theirs would upset them for a longer amount of time.

 

[Deesknee]

just reading it brought tears to my eyes. Very sweet. And I don't think as a parent that type of gesture would bother me. I remember plenty of times before I had children I would have loved to do something like that, but was always apprehensive that the parents would think I had ulterior motives.
Now, I say go ahead....pay it forward.

 

[fireflymedic]

you better make sure they are not staying at the animal kingdom becasue they will not let you bring a ballon on the property

 

[plutoplanet]

Scurvy, you are right all I know is day to day stuff- diapers feedings etc. You are right I don't know yet about what it's like once you have a kid instead of a baby.
I can see why she should ask the parent first. But I still don't see why anyone should get mad because can't you still act happy about it because she was trying to do something nice for your kid, Even if you don't really feel that way on the inside? I get that you want to be asked first. But I guess what I'm lookin at is the spirit of the person doing that.
I don't know, it seems complicated somehow.

 

[andymattmom]

As a parent I would be offended. First you listened to a conversation that you weren't involved in. If the grandma told the child no there was a reason for it. Maybe they were leaving the next day and couldn't take on the plane, they didn't want to drag a balloon all over the park, maybe the child had misbehaved, maybe child only had $10 or so to spend on item to take home and grandma wanted child to see what else there was. It was not your place to purchase this child a balloon after the adult they were with said no. I would have said 'thank you' to the offer but that we would not be able to accept the balloon. I'd then explain to my child(ren) why. Yes, it was a very nice gesture, but it was not appropriate. The adult said no to the child---you don't know the reason. What about latex allergies, etc. You overstepped the boundaries. If you wanted to buy you should have nicely asked grandma if you could talk to her privately and then asked her. That way you didn't put her on the spot which is what you did. She really couldn't say no and that was not a good position for you to put her in.

Whatever....it is done. The child was happy but I'd wait before sprinkling pixie dust like this again...ask the parent first!

 

[Celidh]

I think its great that you have your daughter and are raising her with your dad. That in itself says alot

I agree! Kudos to you Plutoplanet. You will get lots of people thinking less of you because of your age and not giving you credit for knowing anything but first time parents, no matter what their age, sometimes need some advise. Of course so do 2nd, 3rd, 4th (and so on) time parents. Learn to take things with a grain of salt, listen and do what your head and heart tells you is right. Nobody is perfect and we all wonder at some point if we will be paying for therapy for our kids at some point in the future! LOL

I have three kids and am no where near to having all the answers.

Good luck with your daughter.

 

[Alesia]

Scurvy, you are right all I know is day to day stuff- diapers feedings etc. You are right I don't know yet about what it's like once you have a kid instead of a baby.
I can see why she should ask the parent first. But I still don't see why anyone should get mad because can't you still act happy about it because she was trying to do something nice for your kid, Even if you don't really feel that way on the inside? I get that you want to be asked first. But I guess what I'm lookin at is the spirit of the person doing that.
I don't know, it seems complicated somehow.

But the fact is: the grandma told the little girl "No." For the OP's husband to go against the grandma's wishes (no matter how well intentioned) was wrong. It wasn't up to him to decide whether the grandma's reason was valid or not. I don't think it makes the OP and her husband bad people, but I do think they should probably mind their own business in the future.

 

[battymum]

WRONG WRONG WRONG

Besides being a bit creepy - What does that teach the child, "Grandma said no but if I whine loud enough maybe someone will hear and buy it for me......"

Put your money in a charity box - that kid has enough magic, just by being there, if they are not happy with that then they really dont deserve any of it!!

 

[solobel]

I would not have bought one.

 

[myheartlivesatwdw]

Wow...10 pages! OP--I just thought of something...if you ever see me at the parks and want to buy my DDs a balloon (its okay, they'll share) feel free! I'm way too cheap! So I would be totally appreciative.

I think what you did op was totally awesome! I want to be able to do stuff like that when I go next

Don't waste your time or money. You will be told to MYOB & sent away. How dare you want to do something nice.

 

[bumbershoot]

I remember one trip we were on and my DN was eating one of those popsicle things. A good portion of it fell onto the ground and although I felt bad for her I explained that I just couldn't get her another one right then. The kind gentleman in line next to us (we were waiting for a show in Epcot and had a long wait in front of us) slipped out of line and bought my DN a new one.

That one I'm OK with (just to show I'm not against all acts of kindness). The child was eating that item already, but just lost a bunch of it.

To the glitter lady: I would have had a fit if you'd sprinkled glitter on my kids. That stuff gets everywhere and in FL heat, forget about it coming off! Please rethink your plan to use it next time.

I was thinking the same thing but was having a hard time figuring out how to say it.

My mom sent me glitter in a card on the second to last of my birthdays she was alive for. I was still finding that glitter in various places, after THREE moves, for years. I think the last time I found some of it was 5 years ago...my mom died 11 years ago.

Glitter is awful. (though it was kinda neat in my mom's card's case, but a stranger at WDW isn't in the same situation)

It seems to me like a lot of people are blowing this out of portion.

When someone asks a question about how something should be handled, people are allowed to be brutally honest about it. It's actually much better than if we just sugar-coat it. The OP wants to be nice; the majority of us are saying that we wouldn't appreciate it. I'm SURE that the OP will eventually be glad to know the true feelings of people that she might encounter.

Point is that if the kid is old enough to request it she should be able to hold it.

Even babies point up at balloons, and for a baby, that's a request.

It's easy to do and Disney will even replace it for free if it pops.

Does WDW still do that?

DLR stopped that policy at least 2 years ago, even if the CM sees it pop. You sure it's still like that at WDW?

Maybe you've never had to listen to a broken-hearted child wail as they watch their balloon fly away.

We started calling it "balloon tragedies", because it upsets children so much.

 

[Andrew78]

Put your money in a charity box - that kid has enough magic, just by being there, if they are not happy with that then they really dont deserve any of it!![/QUOTE]



yup, I will make sure to tell the boys they are not welcome on any trip unless they kiss my but that they were there to begin with. A lot of 3 -5 year olds understand this point

Call me crazy but when my babies are older I want them to demand that I buy them an ice cream, buzz light year, stuffed Mickey Mouse.

If my kid were 4 and said "it's ok dad, I am just so thrilled to be in your presence in Walt Disney World" I would do a paternity test or wonder if he was possessed.

 

[Andrew78]

duplicate

 

[battymum]

It would be OK to buy the bunch of balloons or glow sticks and give them out randomly - thats kinda cute -

Just dont give them to kids that have been told NO they cant have one - the only reason it was offered to that kid was because she had been told no.

 

[battymum]

duplicate

Well your pockets will never be deep enough!

 

[ilovepete]

In theory I think it is very sweet. However, if it were my kid, yes I would be mad. First of all, if I said no, that is what I meant. I personally would not want to carry around a balloon all day and I would end up being the bad guy for not doing that once the child already had the balloon or saying no when it was offered to my child.

I get upset when the check out people at the grocery stores give my kids balloons. First I have to drive home with 2 balloons in the car which is a pain in itself. Then, it never fails that one of the kids loses their or it pops, always someone is first. Then the rest of the day I have to hear whining and crying over one person having a balloon and one not and on and on. But if the people at the store offer them the balloon, they get upset with ME if I say no. I just get upset to be constantly put in that situation. So, maybe I'm just biased towards balloons! LOL

I get the gesture, and it is very sweet, but if it were me, I would be more annoyed than appreciative just to be completely honest. Sorry!

 

[Andrew78]

Well your pockets will never be deep enough!

Hahaha. I agree especially at Disney

 

[Kat&Dom]

As I read through this thread, I am puzzled how a 5 minute interaction with my child would undermine my parental authority. My son is well aware of what behaviours, attitudes, words are acceptable and what my expectations of him are. If a randon stranger did a very kind and generous act of giving something to my son, he would find it magical and I would be able to use it as a teaching opportunity of how wonderful it is that someone would do something so nice for him. I would share in his excitement and let him enjoy that moment of pixie dust.

Also, unless it has recently changed at the parks, you can't buy a balloon until the afternoon parade. I have tried but in my experience, the only balloons you see in the morning are from character breakfast where they were given out or they were bought the previous day.

OP, I think you did a very kind and generous thing and as I read your account of the conversation between the girl and the grandma, I could see such a conversation occuring between my son and I. I say "No" to him probably a 100 times a day on all kinds of things - he keeps asking for things though!

Life is so short and I think it is so nice when people geniunely want to do something kind without any thought of recipication. You and your husband are obviously very kind, loving, generous people who will make wonderful parents someday. I consider myself extremely lucky to have my son and when someone does something kind to him and makes him feel special - it means the world to me.

 

[bellelab]

I think it's a very sweet gesture and I am sure your husband made that childs day. I would not be annoyed by it at all, unless it was food and I wasn't asked first. I had a similar thing happen to me at a Disney on Ice event not too long ago. We were entering the arena and my daughter saw those 20.00 snow cones and I was NOT about to pay for that. Yes, I could afford it, but I knew she would want something else later. There was a really sweet military guy, mid 20's, dressed out in his miliary fatigues in front of us. He must have heard me tell my daughter no because he turned around and said, "do you mind if I purchase your daughter the snow cone. I just came back from Iraq and I am just grateful to be home." Tears welled up in my eyes, how could I tell him no. I let him and it so made her trip to the show. I think I cried about half of the show because of how sweet that guy was. Now, I always look for a military family and do something nice for them every now and again.

Oh my goodness, that seriously just made me tear up. How sweet is that?!

Anyway, to the OP, I wouldn't be annoyed at all. I might appreciate it more if you asked me first before handing it over but I don't think I'd be annoyed by it either way! That was very nice of you and I know that if my DD was that girl she would have been over the moon happy.

 

[MSSANDRA]

As I read through this thread, I am puzzled how a 5 minute interaction with my child would undermine my parental authority. My son is well aware of what behaviours, attitudes, words are acceptable and what my expectations of him are. If a randon stranger did a very kind and generous act of giving something to my son, he would find it magical and I would be able to use it as a teaching opportunity of how wonderful it is that someone would do something so nice for him. I would share in his excitement and let him enjoy that moment of pixie dust.

Also, unless it has recently changed at the parks, you can't buy a balloon until the afternoon parade. I have tried but in my experience, the only balloons you see in the morning are from character breakfast where they were given out or they were bought the previous day.

OP, I think you did a very kind and generous thing and as I read your account of the conversation between the girl and the grandma, I could see such a conversation occuring between my son and I. I say "No" to him probably a 100 times a day on all kinds of things - he keeps asking for things though!

Life is so short and I think it is so nice when people geniunely want to do something kind without any thought of recipication. You and your husband are obviously very kind, loving, generous people who will make wonderful parents someday. I consider myself extremely lucky to have my son and when someone does something kind to him and makes him feel special - it means the world to me.

My DS still remembers the guy buying him the overpriced pretzel at a professional ball game when he was like four. Game was expensive and we were really having to watch money then and had said, not this time. He simply went to the stand and paid and came by and told DS his pretzel was waiting for him!!!