Would you leave extended family for Christmas?- Update Page 3

[Hopscotch]

I have a husband and 3 kids, ages 21, 20 and 16. The 21-year-old old is graduating college this year and may or may not move home. We haven't been on a family vacation with all 5 of us in years as no one ever has the same breaks and everyone works over the summer to make $$ for college. Both older kids are in college very far from home. We are thinking of going on a cruise for Christmas this year (a surprise for the kids). The problem is that both my husband and I are from large families. Usually we host Christmas Eve for my family and his brother hosts Christmas Day for my husband's family. My dad is 89 and healthy but not sure how many Christmases he has left. Also have a SIL who is quite ill. We do see our extended families every couple of weeks in our day-to-day lives and we will spend Thanksgiving with everyone. Just having a hard time being selfish and saying we just want to spend Christmas doing something else. I sort of feel like it's now or never for this family trip although it most likely really isn't. Any thoughts?

 

[VandVsmama]

I have a husband and 3 kids, ages 21, 20 and 16. The 21-year-old old is graduating college this year and may or may not move home. We haven't been on a family vacation with all 5 of us in years as no one ever has the same breaks and everyone works over the summer to make $$ for college. Both older kids are in college very far from home. We are thinking of going on a cruise for Christmas this year (a surprise for the kids). The problem is that both my husband and I are from large families. Usually we host Christmas Eve for my family and his brother hosts Christmas Day for my husband's family. My dad is 89 and healthy but not sure how many Christmases he has left. Also have a SIL who is quite ill. We do see our extended families every couple of weeks in our day-to-day lives and we will spend Thanksgiving with everyone. Just having a hard time being selfish and saying we just want to spend Christmas doing something else. I sort of feel like it's now or never for this family trip although it most likely really isn't. Any thoughts?

100% yes to go on the cruise. And don't feel guilty about it one bit. You only live once.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If you see them all every couple of weeks, go on the trip!

 

[scrappinginontario]

Personally, given you spend a lot of time with extended family and will see them at Thanksgiving, I'd book the cruise and enjoy your immediate family, creating special memories while you can.

Its the difference between a number of days together and missing a few hours with extended family. Go and have fun!

At least, that's what I'd do!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We did it last year (for the first time ever; it was the first time we’d all had the holiday off from work at the same time, actually) - just our immediate family went to WDW over Christmas. We loved it so much! It really simplified Christmas for us and we had a super great time together. We enjoy being with extended family, too (and we called them at their gathering, just after we got off Splash Mountain!) but we also say that if we have the chance to do it again, we likely will. Highly doubtful, though, due to relationships and such. So I’m glad we did it when we could. The one difference, I’d say, is that elderly parents weren’t involved. That was something that held us back in the past, too (Christmas meant so much to them). But I think that if you see them regularly, that should account for something. Hopefully they’ll all understand. So I say, do it If you can!

 

[slo]

To answer your question…..no, I would never do it. My family is so little - I have a brother that left the family, my DH is an only child and I have a DD25 that left the family. If we left for Christmas both sets of parents would be sitting at home. My DH and I host every holiday with both sets of parents together. I would have no fun on a trip knowing we left them to sit alone at Christmas in their elder years. It would then completely crush me/us if one or more passed away during the following year. As I said, this is answering your question asking if I would take the trip.

Hearing your family situation where you have a nice big family and a place that your Dad can go on Christmas Eve, I would go on the family trip. Hopefully another family member will take over Christmas Eve this year and then you can all go and have a good time.

Good luck, it’s always hard to make these type of decisions.

 

[princesscinderella]

I think you should go, but maybe still host a holiday dinner with everyone that's able to attend that is not on the actual holiday when you will be gone. Example: big family dinner on Sunday Dec 17th instead of the 25th. We don't have a big family either anymore but I am being selfish and going to WDW for Thanksgiving this year with just my husband and three kids one of whom is also away at college.

 

[DeeBee3]

I would go on the cruise and spend the quality time together.

 

[mjkacmom]

I’d be happy to take the cruise, but I wouldn’t surprise the kids, I’d ask their opinions as well. My kids love family gatherings. I haven’t seen one of my 20 year olds since august, she’s heading to Spain over thanksgiving, Christmas will be the first time in a while since she’s seen a lot of family (I stopped surprise trips when the oldest started middle school).

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I saw this yesterday. It was apparently first time the Bush parents were alone with just their twin daughters in ten years.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrit...r-with-parents-sister-for-1st-time-in-decade/

 

[tvguy]

Not a cruise, but spent one Christmas with my FIL. My wife's parents divorced when she was 9. She and her mom moved 2,000 miles away. When our son was 3 we spent Christmas with her dad, the first Christmas she had spent with her dad in 24 years.
We normally hosted Christmas, and my wife's mom was not pleased that we were gone. My mom didn't care because celebrating Christmas when we got home was fine with here.

 

[easyas123]

100% yes to go on the cruise. And don't feel guilty about it one bit. You only live once.

This 100%.
Go, enjoy yourselves and have a good time.

 

[Meriweather]

I would go. I would tell them though in case they have other things going on.
You see your family a lot (I do too).
Cruise or any trip with just the immediate is great!!

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Another vote for "take the cruise".

 

[YachtClubWoman]

Yes take the cruise - in fact for the first time in 31 years being married (no kids) - we are going to Mexico for Christmas
I am tired of being miserable on Christmas in the kitchen and extended family drama
I am going to be floating in the pool Christmas Day and I am so excited about it

 

[leahgoogle]

I probably wouldn't take the cruise only because I love to spend Christmas with my extended family and I know I would regret it. I agree with what someone else said about asking your kids their opinions and not surprising them. You guys have to do what is best for you.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

ANother one saying you should go! There aree so few opportunities to have time with adult kids(I have 3 of my own!) take the time! Have a belated Christmas Eve when you get back.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I have a husband and 3 kids, ages 21, 20 and 16. The 21-year-old old is graduating college this year and may or may not move home. We haven't been on a family vacation with all 5 of us in years as no one ever has the same breaks and everyone works over the summer to make $$ for college. Both older kids are in college very far from home. We are thinking of going on a cruise for Christmas this year (a surprise for the kids). The problem is that both my husband and I are from large families. Usually we host Christmas Eve for my family and his brother hosts Christmas Day for my husband's family. My dad is 89 and healthy but not sure how many Christmases he has left. Also have a SIL who is quite ill. We do see our extended families every couple of weeks in our day-to-day lives and we will spend Thanksgiving with everyone. Just having a hard time being selfish and saying we just want to spend Christmas doing something else. I sort of feel like it's now or never for this family trip although it most likely really isn't. Any thoughts?

Go on the cruise! You're seeing the fam at T'giving so why not do what you want for Xmas?

 

[Praying Colonel]

Under those circumstances (see them every couple of weeks, spending Thanksgiving with them), yes.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I am in the ‘Book a cruise’ camp. You can always have a get-together afterwards. This time for your family is precious, and I don’t think it is selfish, but taking advantage of an opportunity for a special shared family experience.