WWYD: Screaming kid on the other side of the wall of your hotel room

[Dakota731]

On the Disney website - Quiet hours at the Disney Resort hotels are from 11 pm to 7 am. So it doesn’t really matter if the noise is from a crying baby for hours in the middle of the night or from a drunk adult screaming at one am. If someone is not obeying the rules then the neighboring hotel guest is entitled to recourse. No judgement here - just WDW policy.

 

[VH103428]

My friend who has traveled to Disney a lot has a son that has a disability that causes him to have spontaneous uncontrollable outbursts. She does her best but sometimes they are harder to control. What she does is not only lets Disney know but asks the front desk to tell others that are booked near her family. If their is an outburst she leaves a note on their door.

 

[Best Aunt]

Here's my way of looking at it.

Sometimes I am trying to park in the Walmart parking lot. I'm annoyed because an abandoned grocery cart is in a location where it is preventing people from parking in not just one but several parking spaces.

Was it left there by a jerk who was too lazy to take the cart over to the cart return spot?

Or was it left there by someone with a disability, or someone with a small child, or someone who is elderly, for whom it would be difficult to take the cart over to the cart return spot?

Although the solution is different (I park further away and take the cart over to the cart return spot myself so nobody else is annoyed by it), it seems like it can be the same theory when you are annoyed by noise that you hear through the wall in a hotel room. Can you hear the child because the parent is entertaining themselves with their phone and acting like they are not responsible for the child? Or can you hear the child because the parent is doing everything right but the child simply cannot be quiet at that moment?

In other words, you never know if that unseen person is a jerk, or a perfectly reasonable person doing the best that they can.

I have found that all of the stress of the past year has made me more likely to assume that the person is a jerk. I have to remind myself that this is not necessarily the case.

 

[DisLiss]

I really feel for you.

Our first morning in the Disneyland Hotel in California, we were woken up at 5:45am by a crying baby. It cried for 26 minutes. All I wanted to do was pick it up myself and comfort it so it would stop crying. I don't think this baby slept the entire week. We ended up buying ear plugs and having to sleep on our sides with pillows over our ears all week.

When I posted about my frustration, instead of support, I got flamed. I'm glad that people are more understanding on this thread.

If this is how you worded it at that point, then perhaps your assumption that the parents were not actively trying to comfort the baby is part of why you were flamed. I'm not trying to flame you myself, but sincerely pointing out that when you layer understandable frustration along with judgement and/or assumptions, you run the risk of it not being the understandable, relatable part of the post that people pick up on.

 

[katie3008]

On the Disney website - Quiet hours at the Disney Resort hotels are from 11 pm to 7 am. So it doesn’t really matter if the noise is from a crying baby for hours in the middle of the night or from a drunk adult screaming at one am. If someone is not obeying the rules then the neighboring hotel guest is entitled to recourse. No judgement here - just WDW policy.

Life is not always that simple. I’m a mom to a child with autism. I can tell you from experience, the “quiet hours” mean nothing to him. If something overstimulates him, be it noise from another guest in the hallway, the air con noise, or maybe parking lot noise, the resulting tantrum will be loud and potentially long. And neither he nor I can control that. And I find it hugely upsetting that someone would take the view that we are in some way breaking the rules if this happens.
You never know what is going on in someone else’s life until you’ve walked in their shoes. So maybe try and be more understanding. And as other have said, if there is persistent noise, talk to the front desk, explain the situation and ask to be moved.
I know personally that when I check in at hotels and my son is with me, I make sure that there I’ve discussed it with the hotel, that I’ve asked for a room in as remote a location as possible to avoid over stimulation, and I ask for a note on our room reservation, so that if something does go wrong, and someone next to us has cause to complain, the hotel immediately know what the situation is. So maybe another remedy, if you are bothered by children, you could make a request at check in not to be placed in a room next to a family!

 

[Summer2018]

If this is how you worded it at that point, then perhaps your assumption that the parents were not actively trying to comfort the baby is part of why you were flamed. I'm not trying to flame you myself, but sincerely pointing out that when you layer understandable frustration along with judgement and/or assumptions, you run the risk of it not being the understandable, relatable part of the post that people pick up on.

You’re right. I posted in the moment at that ungodly hour the morning after a very long travel day. I had no filter and just shared exactly how I felt while being unable to sleep. I am a little more careful now when I vent on the DIS.

 

[DisLiss]

You’re right. I posted in the moment at that ungodly hour the morning after a very long travel day. I had no filter and just shared exactly how I felt while being unable to sleep. I am a little more careful now when I vent on the DIS.

I've had the same thing happen to me-----venting away, and one portion of the post that I didn't even mean to be the important bit catches people the wrong way and the main part of my post gets lost completely. So I was definitely reading your post from a place of "been there, done that, got my butt roasted as well".

 

[RoseMom]

Just returned from a trip at CSR with my 10 year old and 2 year old. My 2 year old cried several nights from fighting sleep. Yes, we tried our best to quiet him. Of course he was over tired. Heck, adults get over tired at Disney. I just don’t think you can come to Disney and expect to not hear any crying kids. Kids don’t care what time it is and parents do their best. I’d rather hear a crying child than some obnoxious, loud, or drunk adults any night. Like others have said, if it continues, call and request a different room, etc. Families with young children deserve a vacation too!

 

[ScubaCat]

You’re right. I posted in the moment at that ungodly hour the morning after a very long travel day. I had no filter and just shared exactly how I felt while being unable to sleep. I am a little more careful now when I vent on the DIS.

I stayed solo (first time ever!) for a week last August at Wilderness Lodge Copper Creek. The second day a family checked into the 1 bedroom unit next door and had an obviously handicapped son who had pretty regular outbursts. It was annoying at times but living with a DD adult that suffered schizophrenia and was hospitalized many times for it before we finally found a medication that worked, all I could think was how tough it was on the parents and that selfishly I was glad it wasn't me this time.

That being said, travel is stressful, and your reaction is perfectly understandable. It's just not a great situation all around, but definitely don't feel bad for being very annoyed. Even giving all the benefit of the doubt to the other party, you're also entitled to quiet sleep (especially at these prices!) We all have some level of disability from time to time, especially with our coping mechanisms.

 

[Malfie Cent]

Life is not always that simple. I’m a mom to a child with autism. I can tell you from experience, the “quiet hours” mean nothing to him. If something overstimulates him, be it noise from another guest in the hallway, the air con noise, or maybe parking lot noise, the resulting tantrum will be loud and potentially long. And neither he nor I can control that. And I find it hugely upsetting that someone would take the view that we are in some way breaking the rules if this happens.
You never know what is going on in someone else’s life until you’ve walked in their shoes. So maybe try and be more understanding. And as other have said, if there is persistent noise, talk to the front desk, explain the situation and ask to be moved.
I know personally that when I check in at hotels and my son is with me, I make sure that there I’ve discussed it with the hotel, that I’ve asked for a room in as remote a location as possible to avoid over stimulation, and I ask for a note on our room reservation, so that if something does go wrong, and someone next to us has cause to complain, the hotel immediately know what the situation is. So maybe another remedy, if you are bothered by children, you could make a request at check in not to be placed in a room next to a family!

Seems like a veiled insult there, the OP never said she was bothered by children.

Life is pretty simple- we parents are 100% responsible for the way our children's behavior effects others. If you know of issues your children have that will cause a disruption to others then it is your job to make sure that doesn't happen. If you know your child is going to scream their heads off in a hotel room then a remedy for that is rent a house so you aren't around other's when your child has their early morning and late night screaming fests.
I know there will be excuses why one can't do that, but it is really just that simple. Most of us just don't care, we feel an entitlement to do what we want, even knowing there could be problems and we expect others to find a way to deal with it. I include myself in that so I'm not just pointing a finger at you, but
expecting other people to find their own ways to deal with your child's issues and then insulting them because they dare complain about it? Well I'm just SMH at that.

 

[katie3008]

Seems like a veiled insult there, the OP never said she was bothered by children.

Life is pretty simple- we parents are 100% responsible for the way our children's behavior effects others. If you know of issues your children have that will cause a disruption to others then it is your job to make sure that doesn't happen. If you know your child is going to scream their heads off in a hotel room then a remedy for that is rent a house so you aren't around other's when your child has their early morning and late night screaming fests.
I know there will be excuses why one can't do that, but it is really just that simple. Most of us just don't care, we feel an entitlement to do what we want, even knowing there could be problems and we expect others to find a way to deal with it. I include myself in that so I'm not just pointing a finger at you, but
expecting other people to find their own ways to deal with your child's issues and then insulting them because they dare complain about it? Well I'm just SMH at that.

I apologise. You are absolutely right. How dare I expect people to cut my son some slack due to his disability. How dare I fail to do my job as a parent and control him. I absolutely should hide away in a rental house and protect the world from him. Even better, maybe I should hide away in my own home so the world doesn’t have to make space for him?

 

[Summer2018]

I stayed solo (first time ever!) for a week last August at Wilderness Lodge Copper Creek. The second day a family checked into the 1 bedroom unit next door and had an obviously handicapped son who had pretty regular outbursts. It was annoying at times but living with a DD adult that suffered schizophrenia and was hospitalized many times for it before we finally found a medication that worked, all I could think was how tough it was on the parents and that selfishly I was glad it wasn't me this time.

That being said, travel is stressful, and your reaction is perfectly understandable. It's just not a great situation all around, but definitely don't feel bad for being very annoyed. Even giving all the benefit of the doubt to the other party, you're also entitled to quiet sleep (especially at these prices!) We all have some level of disability from time to time, especially with our coping mechanisms.

I appreciate you being able to see both sides.

For nearly 20 years, I was a Manager of a group home for adults with special needs, including 2 ladies with schizophrenia. A huge part of my job was supervising them out in the community and taking them on vacation. We went on vacation every year including a trip to WDW. We had to be ready to leave wherever we were at any given moment, and yes, we created many "scenes" out in public resulting in MANY dirty looks from members of the public. On one trip, one of the ladies decided to sit in the middle of NYC traffic while people were crossing and taxi cabs beeped at us. We always did our best to manage behaviors (we were all trained extensively, and brought our Behavior Specialist on our trips). We rented cottages or houses knowing that there would be frequent outbursts in order to avoid disturbing others, knowing that there was just so much we could control. 20 years later, and now an inner-city teacher, I look back on wonderful memories made with these lovely ladies who became my family. They have all since passed away, but they remain in my heart.

My point in telling my story is that as a Mother, Group Home Manager, and Teacher, I have been on both sides. I just think we all need to do our best. We all need to be empathetic toward someone that may be struggling and do our best to be patient. On the other hand, we spend $10,000 on our trips to WDW and Disneyland, and we really want to be able to enjoy these vacations to the fullest including getting the much-needed good night's sleep.

I cannot wait to go on my first vacation since 2019. I will continue to bring my ear plugs and smile at my temporary travel neighbors. Hopefully we all can enjoy our vacations after this long period of not being able to travel.

 

[DisLiss]

I apologise. You are absolutely right. How dare I expect people to cut my son some slack due to his disability. How dare I fail to do my job as a parent and control him. I absolutely should hide away in a rental house and protect the world from him. Even better, maybe I should hide away in my own home so the world doesn’t have to make space for him?

(((hugs))) If there is anything I've learned over the last two decades of being a part of message boards online is that every possible situation that any person could ever find themselves in, will apparently piss off some stranger on a message board. Without fail. And typically more than just one person, too. But on the flip side, there will also be people who totally empathize or sympathize with your situation as well.

 

[Marionnette]

I apologise. You are absolutely right. How dare I expect people to cut my son some slack due to his disability. How dare I fail to do my job as a parent and control him. I absolutely should hide away in a rental house and protect the world from him. Even better, maybe I should hide away in my own home so the world doesn’t have to make space for him?

That's really taking it a bit too far, don't you think? Your post reeks of hyperbole.

That person in the next room deserves a good night's sleep. They don't have to be sympathetic to your plight or understanding when your screaming child disturbs them in the middle of the night. Surely it's nice if they do but you as a parent know that your child has the potential be be disruptive and should take whatever measures are within your power to ensure that his impact on others is minimal. It's all about being considerate of others. That goes both ways.

Try to understand that you have a choice in the matter. The guy in the next room who is also losing sleep over your child's outbursts didn't choose to be assigned a room next to that kind of noise. You, on the other hand, are aware of the possibility. IMO, you are the one who is responsible for ensuring that your kid's (potential) tantrums have a minor impact on those around him.

On a personal level, I can have empathy for one night. We had 3 continuous nights of a Screaming Mimi in the connecting room at ASMo several years ago. The child woke multiple times each night, screaming and crying out "Mama!" repeatedly. It was exhausting. Thank goodness that they left after the 3rd night! If it were to ever occur again, I'd be at the front desk on the morning following the second night of disturbed sleep, asking to be moved.

And before anyone jumps down my throat, I say this as a parent of a child who was prone to night terrors until she was 5. We never stayed in a hotel room on vacation until she had outgrown that phase. It was bad enough dealing with them in the privacy of our home. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if we were in a hotel room and she had one of her episodes. I would have been mortified, instead of taking umbrage because someone was less tolerant of our situation. So, we made vacation plans that included accommodations that would have as little impact on others as possible...short local day trips, vacation home rentals or staying with relatives. We felt it was the considerate thing to do.

 

[Malfie Cent]

I apologise. You are absolutely right. How dare I expect people to cut my son some slack due to his disability. How dare I fail to do my job as a parent and control him. I absolutely should hide away in a rental house and protect the world from him. Even better, maybe I should hide away in my own home so the world doesn’t have to make space for him?

So instead of addressing what I actually said in my post you are going to resort to defensiveness and hyperbole. OK, but that doesn't change any of the truth in what I said.

 

[Malfie Cent]

(((hugs))) If there is anything I've learned over the last two decades of being a part of message boards online is that every possible situation that any person could ever find themselves in, will apparently piss off some stranger on a message board. Without fail. And typically more than just one person, too. But on the flip side, there will also be people who totally empathize or sympathize with your situation as well.

The only one that seems pissed is the poster you quoted.
Here's the thing about message boards that I notice, people don't like to be confronted with the truth.
It is possible to empathize with parents who have to deal with children who have disabilities AND still recognize that those parents are 100% responsible for how their behavior effects others. The same way parents of kids without disabilities are.
If someone gets offended by that so be it.

 

[Dakota731]

Life is not always that simple. I’m a mom to a child with autism. I can tell you from experience, the “quiet hours” mean nothing to him. If something overstimulates him, be it noise from another guest in the hallway, the air con noise, or maybe parking lot noise, the resulting tantrum will be loud and potentially long. And neither he nor I can control that. And I find it hugely upsetting that someone would take the view that we are in some way breaking the rules if this happens.
You never know what is going on in someone else’s life until you’ve walked in their shoes. So maybe try and be more understanding. And as other have said, if there is persistent noise, talk to the front desk, explain the situation and ask to be moved.
I know personally that when I check in at hotels and my son is with me, I make sure that there I’ve discussed it with the hotel, that I’ve asked for a room in as remote a location as possible to avoid over stimulation, and I ask for a note on our room reservation, so that if something does go wrong, and someone next to us has cause to complain, the hotel immediately know what the situation is. So maybe another remedy, if you are bothered by children, you could make a request at check in not to be placed in a room next to a family!

I’m certainly not bothered by children since I had three under age three, and now I travel with my three grandkids all under age 6. Of course everyone knows that kids can cry and have tantrums, but if it’s going on for hours OVERNIGHT then why do all the families around the screaming child’s room have to move? Other guests have the right to expect the rules to be enforced and get a good night’s sleep. Those families have kids too who need to rest as well.

 

[snikki]

Hotel room walls (especially at a deluxe charging $600++ a night) shouldn’t be so thin that you can hear children cry that easily. Or full on conversations next door. That’s the real issue.

 

[DisneyMountainWoman]

Hotel room walls (especially at a deluxe charging $600++ a night) shouldn’t be so thin that you can hear children cry that easily. Or full on conversations next door. That’s the real issue.

This is the real issue!!

Also I feel for the family. My son has a speech delay and because of that he has more and bigger tantrums. Now as he is getting older and through speech therapy he is able to communicate his needs he has gotten soo much better. But I have gotten the looks from people as my son is crying and throwing a tantrum... I have tried all the tricks like distraction, or breathing or tickling, avoiding triggers, etc... but it does not always work. Also he is big for his age so when you look at him you would think he should be passed this phase... at the end of the day there is only so much a parent can do sometime you have to let them cry it out. That is what literally the experts say.... we cannot do anything else.

Now should the hotel help the people around them if it happens to much? Yes, but honestly the real issue is how there is no sound proofing in such exp rooms in a place that we know there are going to be kids off all ages.

 

[ScubaCat]

Hotel room walls (especially at a deluxe charging $600++ a night) shouldn’t be so thin that you can hear children cry that easily. Or full on conversations next door. That’s the real issue.

Now should the hotel help the people around them if it happens to much? Yes, but honestly the real issue is how there is no sound proofing in such exp rooms in a place that we know there are going to be kids off all ages.

I agree with this to an extent, but walls have limits and this is pretty standard for most hotels in my experience. I travel a moderate amount for work and I've experienced all sorts of noises AND smells from neighboring rooms. Usually smoking various herbs and other green things doesn't permeate the walls too badly, but incense is a shared experience as is nuking extra hot wings in the microwave. There's a limit to what hotel staff can do besides move you, and moving rooms gets old REAL quick. And rooms have issues, so there's no guarantee your new room won't have a problem your old one didn't. If you stay in enough hotels, you'll grow more tolerant of screams from the next room, trust me on that one. Is it "fair"? Of course not. Vent on the disboards if you must, but understand that these things can and will happen from time to time. My advice is to plan accordingly and roll with it.