Your opinion?

[RitaZ.]

I would just get her wipes.

These days I just take the path of least resistance. I really do not care to put 1 second of energy into "making a stand" anymore for stupidity or crazy.

I take a stand if something is genuine and necessary.

That has become my mantra.

OP, return the gift and get the woman a gift card, a package of diapers and/or wipes. Done!

 

[Erin1700]

She sounds like my sister in law.

Dollar Store diapers and card is what I would get her.

 

[nugov2]

I don't care if it's the norm in some areas to have a shower for a second kid. It's tacky.







Even better. But let word get around that you donated "her" gifts to someone who'd appreciate them.

There called Sprinkles. I don't know why it is tacky having fun with your friends/close family and celebrate the birth of another baby at the same time. I love going to the sprinkles b/c they are small, no registry and a great excuse to have fun with friends. Who doesn't love the excitement of another baby and anyone I am close enough to be invited to their sprinkle(they are very small and intimate) is someone I would be buying a gift for anyway and I love an excuse to get together with my girls Win, win IMO. I was a teacher many moons ago before kids and becoming a SAHM and they celebrated every birth. Never heard a single person complain.

Now, in this rude coworkers case I'd be disappointed by her rude behavior. I'd probably still buy what she wanted b/c unless she announced this in front of everyone or she is a notorious brat...you will come out looking like the a hole and if she leaves you are left with the coworkers who view you poorly. So you're only hurting yourself by trying to teach her a lesson.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I would go one of two routes:

1) Return the gift you bought. Buy nothing else. Don't attend the shower.
2) Attend the shower and give a nice congratulatory card, no gift. You already bought a gift and the mother has indicated that she doesn't want to receive it. So, a nice card would be what she gets.

Also, imagine how boring the shower will be if she opens package after package of Pampers and wipes. The fun part is seeing all the cute things people bring. No clothes, no toys, no other supplies? This shower is going to be all about managing poop! Plus, that mom might end up with a pile of diapers she can't use. What if everyone brings newborn size? My 9lb, 12oz boy wore those for about a week!

 

[missbrooke06]

I would give her what I already bought. If she doesn't want it, she can return it. I was already generous enough to buy you a nice gift but I'm not jumping through hoops to accommodate you.

I would support you returning it and giving nothing but in my workplace, that would cost you a little social capital.

 

[kate_wdw]

I would support you returning it and giving nothing but in my workplace, that would cost you a little social capital.

OP, I'd definitely keep this in mind.

I would feel totally ticked and want to get her nothing as well. But what are the ramifications? It's someone you work with. Will this cause friction in your work environment? It's probably better to take the high road with a coworker.

Agreed. Co-worker is acting rudely, entitled and ungrateful. However, I'd focus more on how your handling of this situation will reflect on you and impact your colleagues' opinions of you.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I'd return the items and buy her a pack of the largest sized diapers that they have...she'll have to hang on to them for a year.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

OP, I'd definitely keep this in mind.



Agreed. Co-worker is acting rudely, entitled and ungrateful. However, I'd focus more on how your handling of this situation will reflect on you and impact your colleagues' opinions of you.

I am sure most (normal) colleagues are thinking the same thing: "This pregnant lady is a brat."

I wouldn't be surprised if quite a few women never show up for the shower.

 

[lsyorke]

I'd return the items and buy her a pack of the largest sized diapers that they have...she'll have to hang on to them for a year.

Perfect!

 

[Ceila]

I don't care if it's the norm in some areas to have a shower for a second kid. It's tacky.

Wow. I'm wondering if people for whom it's the norm would think your area is tacky for NOT having second showers.

 

[Colleen27]

As much as I'd be tempted not to get her anything at all, since it is a coworker I'd probably return the gifts I bought and give her a package of wipes to keep the peace. Work isn't the time or place to be taking a stand against rudeness/stupidity; it is too likely to come back to bite you later.

However, it would serve her right if Pampers didn't work out for the baby. I'd never do a "diapers and wipes" party, as an experienced mom, because we ended up using a different brand for each kid based on fit and skin sensitivity. What worked for one was a dismal failure on the next.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

It would depend on how the work party was set up.

Is it happening during the workday and they are letting everyone take time off to attend? If so I would probably return the gifts I got and buy one of the items she requested (and probably the smallest package they come in).

Is it happening outside of work? If so I would just give an excuse, decline the invitation, return the gifts and leave it at that.

As for showers for second (third, fourth, etc) children....we have always done them around here. However, big ticket items usually are not being given, even at the first shower. Those are usually taken care of by the grandparents before the shower even happens. Shower gifts are usually clothing, diapers, wipes and toys.

 

[dimimi]

For the second I would just give her a little something. She is being rude.

 

[DaisyD]

LOL Everyone I know has had a shower for their second.

Same here. A shower for every baby here. All are special!

 

[RitaZ.]

However, it would serve her right if Pampers didn't work out for the baby. I'd never do a "diapers and wipes" party, as an experienced mom, because we ended up using a different brand for each kid based on fit and skin sensitivity. What worked for one was a dismal failure on the next.

So true. These things that are learned through lots of trial and error. Can you imagine having to return 20+ bags of diapers?

 

[MinnieNJ]

I just can't get over her "request". I would return the nice, thoughtful, expensive gift and get her one pack of whatever is less money (wipes or diapers). I would then put them in a different box so when she tears the wrapping paper off, she'll see something else!!! Maybe she will get all the same size diapers so she'll have to end up exchanging them anyway!

 

[Oodalally13]

I'm not saying any baby after the first isn't special or shouldn't be celebrated. I'm saying repeatedly asking for presents IS.

Why can't I celebrate NOT having a baby or NOT getting married and have a registry for that????

 

[Bluestars]

I'm not saying any baby after the first isn't special or shouldn't be celebrated. I'm saying repeatedly asking for presents IS.

Why can't I celebrate NOT having a baby or NOT getting married and have a registry for that????

You get to do that by having a clean house, never having to watch a cartoon, traveling on a whim, and sleeping in after a full night's sleep.

 

[wuzzles]

Return the other things and buy her an etiquette book instead.

 

[nugov2]

I'm not saying any baby after the first isn't special or shouldn't be celebrated. I'm saying repeatedly asking for presents IS.

Why can't I celebrate NOT having a baby or NOT getting married and have a registry for that????

Who is asking for presents? I think besides the unusually selfish person like this posters coworker most are surprises and without a registry. It is something that the friends and family want to do for their pregnant friend not something forced upon them.

I'd guess you could celebrate whatever you want, but why should others feel they cannot throw parties for their friends and family because there are some who never get a party at all