Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

[pkondz]

There's a good chance you probably did and I missed it.

Nope. First mention, actually.

Now when you get ready to come down is when I can't go.

Well........ poop.

Lady H and I talked about possibly going back next year.

Maybe in March.
Maybe the last week of March.

Then again, we want to go to Hawaii or back to Cancun. Although Cancun is a little scary after what happened last time.

No kidding!
When they say don't drink the water,
they really mean it!

Have to finish getting through my probationary period first with my new job

Wait. Wait!
Did I know this?
Did you already tell me you got a job?

Usually like to go for a week at a time, but we also want to buy a camper. Decisions, decisions.

Camper - 2018.
Disney - 2017. March, specifically.

 

[pkondz]

Close to Home

Hi there!
Sorry for taking so long
to get this update up and running.
It took longer than expected
to catch up everywhere,
and then longer still to
calculate the contest scores.
Future scoring will be a little easier
as I'll be able to add them as
they come in.


When I originally picked
the title for this TR,
I had no idea how prophetic
it would turn out to be.

Highs and lows...

Shall I be honest with you?
There was a point during my travels,
when I considered chucking
the whole TR and just not writing it.
(And before you start celebrating,
I am writing it. So you're stuck with me.)

I was feeling pretty upset.
Now before you start worrying,
no, it's not a death in the family
or anything nearly so serious.

Still, at the time, it put a real
damper on my enthusiasm.


But here we are.


Now this TR will not be all
gloom and doom!

The credit card fiasco
(remember that?)
was a low.
It caused some stress, but, well...
You'll see, later on in this update.

There was one incident
that I very much wish I could re-do.
And I'll cover that when it's time.

There were minor lows and minor highs.
And there were some great,
big fantastic highs, too!

So much so, that I can't wait to share them with you!

There's one that will come up in the very next chapter.
(And no... it won't be so long before that one's up.)
I considered plowing right through to it on this update,
but decided that in the interests of getting this one
out ASAP, I'd save it for the next update.

So let's get started, shall we?

-------------------------------------------------

September 13

I was on high alert this morning.
Would my credit card arrive in time?
As @franandaj pointed out,
didn't I have another credit card?

Well.... yes. I do.
But I seldom use it.
Ruby uses that one,
so it's not like it's inactive.
But my card is my WestJet card.
Putting points on it
is how I can travel.
And Disney travel...
well, rumour has it...
that it can be pricey.

So where's my dang card!!

Sorry.


I knew that I had a few errands
to run before I left the next morning.
So that should help take my mind off it.

Ha!

Totally did not work.
But I still had to run them.

Quick stop here and there
for a few last minute things.
And I definitely had to go downtown.
I mean, if I didn't do that,
there wasn't much point in writing
this TR, now was there?

Oh, I suppose I still could...
But, it just adds to the flavour.

What am I talking about?
You'll see.

In a few days.


Moooooving on.

One fringe benefit of going downtown
was that I was driving right past a
Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

They have locations in
Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg,
Regina and Vancouver.

They aren't just good.
They are the best cookies
on the planet.
Bar none.

Seriously. If you live far away,
they'd be worth the flight just to get some.

Seriously.





Seriously.




After running my errands,
it was a little after noon.
The Credit Card company
said they were going to
send my card to the bank,
since "Someone's always there."

Okay. Makes sense.
Heck. I was just out.
If I'd had to wait at home,
three things would've happened.

1. I wouldn't be able to run my errands.
And I really needed to.
Especially the one downtown.
2. No cookies.
3. It would've driven me nuts.
"Is that them? Is it? Is it?!?!?"

Just. No.


Where was I?
Right. Errands finished.
After noon sometime.


As I was driving home,
I was going to drive
right by the bank.
Might as well pop in
to see if my card is there.
The bank was open 'til 5pm,
so even if it wasn't there yet,
I still had a chance.
Let's pop in, shall we?

I waited in line for an available teller.
Within a minute or so, one became available.
She didn't smile or greet me
as I walked up (unusual).
"Hi." I said. "Has Purolator come in yet?"

She looked at me as if I had a bug on my head.

I quickly took Herbie the Wonder Beetle
off my head and put him in my pocket.

"Purolator?" I repeated. "Have they been in?"
"What?" She wisely intoned.
It immediately became clear
that English was not her first language.
That's okay, I'm impressed with people
who don't speak English who immigrate here.
I don't know if I'd have the guts to
move somewhere where I couldn't
speak the language.

"Yes. Purolator. Like Fed-Ex?" I tried helpfully.
She looked blank for a second,
then said. "Feed Eeks?"


This was going well.


"I lost my credit card." I tried again.
"They said they'd send it here."

"Oh, yes." She triumphantly proclaimed.
"Your card is here."

Great!
She asked me for my name
and then moved across the room
and began to rifle through a pile of papers.

Wait... she said my card was here...
and then asked for my name?

hmmm.....


After a bit, she came back.
"Your card is not here." She told me.
"Oh." I returned.
"When did you lose it?" She asked.
"Sunday." I said.
She looked in her computer.
"It says you lose it in 2012." She stated.
"What? No. Maybe that's when I first got it." I replied.
"When you lose it?" She asked.
"Sunday." I repeated.
"Oh." She said. Shaking her head.
"It will come on Wednesday."

I explained that I'd called the credit card company
on Sunday night, and they said they'd
send it out via overnight express on Monday.
I did also tell her that they'd told me it might not
arrive until Wednesday.
"Wait." She simply said.
She moved back across the room
and looked through a different pile of papers.

Why didn't she do that the first time?
Maybe there's a pile for helping customers,
but not really helping them.
And a pile for actually helping them
to make yourself look like a hero.

I don't know.

She came back.
"Card not here." She repeated.
I hung my head.
"Do you know if Purolator came already?" I asked.
"Yes." She said. "They came already."
"Do they come more than once a day?"
I asked in desperation.

She didn't seem to know,
so she called over her Supervisor.
"This man lose his credit card." She told her.
The supervisor looked at me.
"When did you report it lost?" She asked.
"Sunday." I repeated.
(I didn't bother to clarify that I had not,
in fact, lost the card. I didn't want to
complicate things further.)
"Oh." She said. "It won't get here 'til Friday."

Friday! We're getting worse! Not better!
I said (again) what I'd been told.
"What time do you leave tomorrow?" She asked.
Well before the bank opens, I told her.
"You know." She said. "I think I just now saw
the Purolator delivery truck pulling away.
Maybe it came just now.
Let me go check at the front desk.
That's where all the deliveries go."

She marched off.

Moments later, I saw her striding triumphantly
across the lobby waving an envelope in her hand.
"It's here!" She cried out.
Every eye in the bank turned to her,
and then to me.
I desperately hoped there were no
criminals looking to rob someone, in the area.

Actually, I was too overjoyed to really
be concerned with something so
petty as a common mugger.

I had my card! Yay!
Let the holiday commence!
Little did I know that
while I had passed this test...
Well, bad things come in threes,
don't they?

Yes. They do.


That evening, I spent my time cooking,
(Spaetzle, chicken schnitzel,
jaeger sauce and corn on the cob.
Gotta make sure they don't
replace me while I'm gone),
packing and watching Frozen with Elle
(seemed appropriate, considering)
and the Finale of America's Got Talent
with Ruby.
(I figured the winner had to be between
two people, and I was right.)

Eventually, it got late,
I said my goodbyes to the DDs
and hit the sack.
Not that I was going to sleep
of course.
Disney tomorrow!
Once again I was that little kid
on his way to Disney for the first time.
But I wasn't going to convince
myself otherwise.
I didn't want to wind up in
Florida wearing long johns again.



September 14
Disney Day!

I finally fell asleep around 1:45am
Which meant that it really sucked
when the alarm went off at 2:15am.



There is a truism in our home.
The first person who gets up...
will invariably wake up the dogs.
Piper knows to be quiet,
but she'll sigh and yawn
as loudly as possible.
Luna just barks until someone feeds her.

But apparently, if you get up
at stupid o'clock,
not even the animals are dumb
enough to wake up.
Piper just moved her head a little
and went back to sleep.
I never heard a peep out of Luna.

By three o'clock, we were out
the door and in the car.
Yes. We.
Not only was Ruby letting me go by myself,
but she was getting up at the crack of OMG
to drive me.

I tried.
I really tried to convince her
that I could take a cab.
But she wouldn't hear of it.
"I'll just go in to work early." She said.
"I can use the time to catch up."
(2:30am is only a couple of hours
earlier than when she usually gets up.)
So off we went.

We got to the airport in good time.
It's amazing how little traffic
there is at 3am.

We rolled my suitcase up to a self-serve kiosk.
I scanned my boarding pass
and printed off a luggage tag.
After I got the tag,
the kiosk told me it couldn't print it
and to see an agent.

Uh.... then what is this that I'm holding?
I walked up to an attendant
and explained the situation.

"It probably just ran out of paper." She said.
"This is a luggage tag."
She then quickly and expertly affixed it
to my suitcase.
I watched intently, vowing to try and figure
out how she did it, so next time I wouldn't
look like an inept dweeb.
I feel that if I can look like an ept dweeb,
my life would be complete.

And I totally missed how she did it.


The attendant then told me that the bag
was checked through to MCO.
Really! No more airport two step?
(Last trip, we'd almost missed our flight
because we had to wait for our bag,
retrieve it, then put it on another conveyor belt,
before running for our connection.)

Apparently this had been changed
last December.
Good. It always seemed so stupid.


I dropped the bag off and watched
it go through the open maw
at the end of the belt.
A slight frisson went down my spine.
I always wonder if I'll see it again.

I said goodbye to Ruby
(oddly enough, I didn't wonder
if I'd see her again. Priorities.)
and headed over to security.
At this time of the day,
there were few people in line,
so it went quickly and painlessly.

I sashayed over to my gate
and peered through the window.

Plane's here.
Always a good thing.
I would've been surprised if it wasn't.
I mean, it's doubtful that it
would be coming in from somewhere
else at that time of day.

I knew I'd be spending quite a bit
of time sitting on my brains today,
so I figured I'd stand for a bit.

You'd think there'd be more people around
at four o'clock in the morning, wouldn't you?


No?


Eventually people started showing up
and boarding began.
I knew I'd be one of the last ones on board,
since I was seated in the fifth row.
Still, I wanted to be among the first
of the last group.

I hate having to put my bag
under the seat in front of me.
That's where my feet go!
But these days, where people
bring a personal item,
(which is usually the size of a carry on)
a carry on
(which is usually the size of a large bag)
and a large bag
(which is the size of a small car)
onto the plane;
overhead bin space is at a premium.
I don't want to be that last person
getting on, roaming up and down the aisle
desperately looking for an open bin,
until finally an attendant tells you:
"Sir, you're going to have to check that."

So I hovered in the vicinity of the gate
until they announced my zone.
I quickly darted forward,
elbowing an elderly lady in the ribs.
Ha! It stopped her in her tracks.
Her aged husband tried to keep their spot,
but a quick stomp on his instep
put a stop to that!


Um... when I become a senior citizen,
this behaviour is not encouraged.


I stowed my large personal item
and my giant carry on in the overhead bin.
I left my car sized bag in the aisle for
two attendants to hoist up.
I mean, really, why should I have to?
They're attendants... so... attend to me.
This is only right and just.


Okay. I only had my camera bag
and didn't even have a carry on,
let alone a giant bag.
But I still want attending to.
But that'll have to wait until
the next flight.

The plane departed on time at 5:15am.

Look! You can see my house!

Actually, I have no idea which part
of the city I'm looking at.
But I do love looking at cities at night.


Pretty.


For the remainder of the flight,
I amused myself by alternating
between staring vacantly
at the TV screen in front of me
and closing my eyes.
I can't say that I slept,
but I did at least rest.


Oh look! We're coming in
for a landing in Toronto.

Must be able to see the CN tower.
Ah! There it is!

See it?
Hang on, let me zoom in a bit...

There. Got it?
No?
This is what happens when
I take pictures with my iPod.
Still, better than holding
my camera with jumbo zoom
for the entire flight.
Just take my word for it,
the CN tower's there.
It's still the tallest free standing
structure in North America.
(Yes. Taller than One World Trade Center.)
Not to worry...
I'll have a better shot when I leave.


Eventually we landed and were taxiing in
ahead of schedule.

I was out of the plane at 8:47am.

Unfortunately, while the checked bag
got to go straight to Florida,
I had to go through security again
and then clear customs.

With any luck, this early in the day,
there won't be much of a line at secu.....

crap.


Oh well.
I had almost two hours
from the time I got off the plane
until the next departure.
Plenty of time.

The line for security moved
at a good pace and soon
I was entering US customs.
The first thing you do is
walk up to a kiosk and answer
questions like, "Are you a criminal?"
or "Are you a terrorist?"
or "Are you bringing a banana?"
The machine spits out a receipt
and then you stand in another line
until you can see a customs agent.

Every time I do this, I try to set my face
in as innocent an expression as I can muster.
And every time, I get the same reaction.
But this time! This time! Things will be different.
I plastered a friendly smile on my mug
and walked confidently forward.
"Passport?"
I handed over my passport.
"Any fruits or vegetables?"
I didn't tell him that the machine
had already asked me this.
Just keep smiling!
"No sir!" <smile>
"Where are you going?"
"Disneyworld!" <smile>
"How long are you staying?"
I was afraid he'd ask me that.
I mean, who's going to believe
that I was going to Disney for
four measly days?
Actually, more like three and a half.
"Returning on Sunday." <smile>
Hopefully he won't do the math.
"Are you leaving anything in the States?"
"No sir." <still smiling>
"Why do you look constipated?"



DANG IT!!!!!!


Well... why fight it.

"It's airplane food. Bungs me up like gangbusters."
He nodded sagely, handed me back my passport,
advised me to eat some corn
and waved me on my way.

One of these days I'll get
through without that question.
But not today.


Since I was in no rush,
I sashayed along until I found my gate.
It was a refreshing change,
not having to sprint to the gate.

I didn't have long to wait
before they began boarding.
Because it was a Florida-bound flight,
they board it a little differently.
The flight is almost completely made up
of families with children.
So instead of boarding
"passengers with children",
they specified "children under 3".
A lot of people who'd lined up
stepped reluctantly out of line.

I wasn't the least bit worried.
I'd decided to travel in comfort
so had paid to upgrade to a "Plus" seat.
More leg room, priority boarding,
free food and drinks and no one
sits in the middle seat.
(They have little tables there instead.)

The "free" food wasn't really free,
since you paid for it.
And the priority boarding isn't
that big a deal...
but the extra leg room
coupled with the extra elbow room
is really nice.

See?

Man I love that first row!

Oh. And notice the brand spanking new shoes?
This is a public service announcement.
Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

Trust me on this.


At 10:35, right on time, we were airborne.

Let's try this again...

Got it now?
Wait... Lemme zoom in a bit...

It's the tall one.
There. Now you can tell the grandkids.
Who will roll their eyes.


Once airborne, I settled in
and watched the movie, Joy.
If you haven't seen it, it stars Jennifer Lawrence
as the real life Joy Mangano, a self-made
millionaire divorced mother of two.

Not bad. Great acting by Lawrence.
Movie was a tad slow though.
While I was watching that,
I munched on my lunch.
Turkey Swiss croissant,
with a fruit salad, pretzels,
chocolate and a Coke.
There was a small chocolatey square too,
but it didn't look overly appetizing,
so I skipped that one.

And no, I didn't take a picture of it,
thanks for asking.
This will mark the beginning of
a 50/50, hit or miss endeavor
to photograph my food.

If you want food porn,
you will sometimes be thrilled,
sometimes disappointed.

That's life right there in a nutshell.
Hopefully your life has more thrills.
Ruby's is filled with disappointment.


As we got closer to Florida
and began our descent,
I began to feel a bit uneasy.
Not for the flight,
but for the weather.

This was my view out the window:

Maybe to you it looks pretty,
but to me?

I see thunderstorm clouds
(Cumulonimbus, aka: CBs)
and that means rain.

Don't see 'em?
Allow me.
I was seeing stuff...

The rest are just LPFs.
LPF?
That stands for Little Puffy Fu...uh.... Fluffers.

We landed shortly after and as I exited the plane
(First!)
I noticed we were at Gate 13 again.
On my first solo trip,
I had trouble finding it as I was leaving
because there's an overhead sign
a little farther down the hall
that points to Gates 12-15.

I glanced to my right and...
Yep. Incorrect sign is still there.

I arrived at the fake-o-rail
and it was there, waiting for me.
Glad to see my VIP transportation
service hasn't lapsed!

I noticed that the first three cars
were cordoned off and empty.
I presume they were going
somewhere else.

Whatever! I'm here! In Florida!
The car I was in was packed,
but you could read the
excitement and wonder on
everyone's faces!!
Yay!!! We're going to Disneyworld!!!

...

Well, I was happy.
That's all that mattered, to me!

Let's look outside, instead.

Ahhhh..... fake-o-rail views of Florida.
Both the best thing you see...
and the worst.
(Depending on your direction of travel.)

One of the nice things about
getting off the plane first,
is you're first at the baggage carousel.

See?

Of course while it's all peachy keen
to be the first at the carousel of patience,
it doesn't really matter
since your bag isn't going to come out
any faster.

I think I preferred traveling sans valise
like my last solo trip.
But since I was...

Oh. Right. I haven't told you about that yet.

Well, it'll make sense soon enough.


After a few minutes,
I was joined by the unwashed masses
from back in economy.
And to add insult to injury,
when the bags started to come out,
mine wasn't first!!

I mean, what the heck is with that?!?!?

Do I not deserve to have my bag come first?
I ask you! Do I not deserve it?!?!?
(Don't answer that.)


I've mentioned this before.
My airport dream is to be
the first bag out of the chute.

No! Wait! Let me rephrase that.
I don't want to be the first bag...
I want my bag to be first.


Close one.


Eventually, the bag did arrive however.
Not, of course, until after I started
panicking and wondering what I was
going to do if it didn't show up.

I'm not overly sensitive.
I don't start worrying right away.
Ha! Ha! That would be crazy!
I don't start worrying until
after the first bag comes out
and it isn't mine.

Have you ever seen a Ponzi running
around in circles waving his arms in the air?

It is not a pretty sight.

When I did eventually retrieve my bag,
I zipped up the escalator,
crossed the terminal,
and zipped down another escalator.

Pain in the asssssk anyone.
But whatever. DME! Straight ahead!


I got to the Bus stop at 1:47pm
and was on the bus by 1:50.

Hmmm.... three minutes.
They're slipping.

And this was just the beginning.
I did not have as good bus service
as I'd experienced the last two trips.

But.... well... you'll see just how good
and/or bad it was in due course.


There's one truism when it comes to
DME and pkondz.

I always forget to take the first seat
so I can get that oh-so-required
first sign to Disney picture.

This was no exception.
I boarded the bus...
And marched straight back to:

There.

Yeah. I ain't getting that photo, am I?

It took a while for the bus to get moving.
About twenty five minutes, actually.
Good thing that doesn't count
towards my wait time!
I was seated... in air conditioning.
That's impotent.


Important.


Once we got going,
the driver announced that we were
going to make stops at
CSR, ASMo, ASMu and ASSp.

I've been on this bus before.
I know it stops at CSR first,
so I settled in for a long ride.

And now I'm going to go back a bit
and tell you why I'm heading
to the All Stars and not POP.
Simple.

It was sold out!
There was nothing at POP.
Nothing at Movies either, actually.
And Sports... well, I think there was,
but it doesn't appeal to me.

And the only thing available at ASMu
was the preferred rooms.
Which was okay by me,
since I probably would've paid for
the upgrade anyway.
I am not going to make that walk again!


Back on the bus...

I was a little shocked
and pleasantly surprised
when the first resort
it pulled into was ASMo.

Sweet! Eat it, CSRers!

After disgorging the ASMo folks,
next stop was ASMu.

I decided to get off here,
since it's where I was staying.

I sashayed up to the check in desk at 2:44pm.
Not bad.
Thirty minutes from airport to resort.
Should've made it a contest question.

Just like I should've made
"Did I get my credit card?" a contest question.
Stupid of me.

I got myself checked in
and received my Magic Band.
Yay!

Wait.....

I don't want to be on the fourth floor...
Or 482 miles away (which I shouldn't be.)
I'd paid a little extra
(I think it was like $10/day)
for a preferred room.
And I darned well better get it!!!

"Can you show me on the map
where exactly my room is?"

He circled the location on the map.


Remember that fax I had
Touring Plans send for me?
No? Well I did.
Have them send it, I mean.
I had listed a few rooms
that I was hoping to get.
Two specifically.

I did not get my first choice.

Nope.

I got my second choice.

And in retrospect,
it should have been my first.

I set out with my bag.
I exited the lobby and...
There was my room.

See that very first window on the ground floor?

Yup!
The absolute closest room to the buses
and Melody Hall.

Wow! Did I ever luck out!

In about thirty seconds,
I'd walked from the lobby
to my room.
It was now 2:50pm.
(Six minutes from resort arrival
to check in to room.)

Here's my pad for the next few days.
Well, before I trashed it, that is.

<sob> Isn't it beautiful???
Home!

Hang on. Give me a minute.
This is so emotional....







Hang on...








Just another second......






OMG! Have some respect!
This is my home!







Okay. I'm good now.


It had been a very long day.
By now I'd been up for 12 hours
after only getting 15-30 minutes of sleep.
I crawled into bed and passed out without
even bothering to undress or unpack.
Tomorrow was another day.
And I was at Disney!






















You're still reading?


You don't really think
I went to bed do you?
Magic Kingdom has late EMH tonight!
Open 'til Midnight.
Let's go!!!!

I did take the time to unpack
and organize stuff.
But once I was ready,
I quickly exchanged my jeans
for a pair of shorts,
grabbed a few necessities
(camera, hat, etc.)
and zipped out the door.

I was at the bus stop 90 seconds later.
(Yes. I timed it.
It took a minute and a half
to get from door to bus stop,
or vice versa, at a relaxed
sashaying pace.)
I arrived at the bus stop at 3:43pm.
The bus arrived at 3:50.

While a wait of seven minutes
is practically unheard of for pkondz,
I figured that considering it was
the middle of the day,
it was pretty good.

Little did I know that my return
bus ride was going to have an
even longer wait! What's with that?!?!?

And to answer the contest,
I'll tell you right now
that it was 16 minutes.
Well... sorta.
But it was.

So guess what was the first thing
I did upon arriving at MK?
It's something that I'd never
done before.
And it was even before I actually
went through the tunnel
and entered the park proper!
(But after security and the tapstiles.)


Contest

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
3. What's the first ride I go on?
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.


My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

Closest guess wins.
No duplication of guesses,
first come first served.
No changes allowed.
All guesses must be in
before September 15 update.
(After the next update.)



Answers to previous questions:

1. What time is my flight out of Winnipeg?
Answer: 5:15 - 2 points

2. Two flights. Winnipeg/Toronto, Toronto/MCO.
On time? Delayed? One of each?
Answer: Both on time - 4 points (2 points per flight)

3. I'll be clearing customs in Toronto.
This is always fun.... 50/50. Does my passport
get stamped?
Bonus points if you know the expression on my face.
Answer: Stamped - 4 points
Bonus answer: Constipated - 8 points
(This was a bonus question for long time readers.)

4. When I finally arrive at the resort...
Where is it? (Yes it's on property.)
Answer: ASMu - 6 points

5. So I get there. I go to a park. Which one?
Answer: MK - 2 points

6. How long do I wait for transportation
to and from the park.
Answer: To park 7 minutes, from park 16 minutes, total 23 minutes
Points: 23 minutes 20 points, within 5 minutes 10 points,
within 10 minutes 5 points, within 15 minutes 1 point

Guesses
SoccerDogWithEars - 5:38, on time, no, POP, MK, 13 - 11 points
natebenma - 5:21, on time, yes, surprised, AoA, Epcot, 13 - 13 points
Curiouser&curiouser! - 4:30, on time, no, ASSp, Epcot, 11 - 5 points
Mac Brew - 5:15, on time, yes, smile, POP, MK, 10 - 13 points
Captain_Oblivious - 6:30, on time, yes, was me, ASMo, DHS, 4 - 8 points
irene_dsc - 4:38, on time, yes, constipated, POP, Epcot, 5 - 16 points
cinderkelly - 5:15, on time, yes, phew, ASMu, MK, 16 - 23 points
Chrystmasangel - 6:20, on time/not, yes, amused, POP, MK, 8 - 9 points
juniorbugman - 5:15, not/on time, no, sad, ASMo, DHS, 15 - 9 points
jandlinz - 5:15, on time, yes, smile, POP, MK, 2 - 12 points
Terra Nova guy - 5:10, on time/not, no, Splash, POP, MK, 8 - 5 points
DonnaBeeGood - 5:15, on time, yes, embarrassed, POP, Epcot, 11 - 11 points
QueenJen - 5:15, on time, yes, yeah baby, POP, Epcot, 0 - 10 points
orangecats2 - 5:15, on time, no, constipated, ASSp, MK, 6 - 16 points
SnowWhiteOz - 5:15, on time, yes, pleased, POP, MK, 12 - 13 points
vrajewski10513 - 9:00, on time, yes, grin, ASSp, MK, 4 - 10 points
franandaj - 5:15, on time, no, disappointed, POR, Epcot, 5 - 6 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 - 4:19, on time, yes, cocky, POP, DHS, 15 - 13 points
queenbetsey - 5:45, on time, yes, constipated, ASSp, Epcot, 25 - 26 points
Steppesister - 5:15, on time, yes, smile, POP, MK, 25 - 22 points
krnelson65 - 5:15, on time, yes, surprised, POP, MK, 20 - 22 points
fallonkendra - 5:15, on time/not, no, POP, Epcot, 13 - 9 points
bankr63 - 5:15, on time/not, no, sleep, ASMu, Epcot, 18 - 20 points
Mrs T 2009 - 5:15, on time, yes, phew, ASMu, Epcot, 7 - 16 points
rndmr2 - 5:15, on time, no, ASMo, Epcot, 8 minutes - 7 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - 5:30, on time/not, no, constipated, ASMu, MK, 7 - 18 points
tashers - 5:15, on time/not, yes, Borat, POP, MK, 19 - 20 points
chillitsanne - 6:00, on time, yes, confused, ASMu, MK, 11 - 17 points
MrsHull - 5:15, not/on time, yes, annoyed, ASMO, 15 - 13 points
Thumper_Man - 6:00, on time, yes, smug, ASMo, MK, 5 - 10 points
Thumper_Man's Wife - 0 dark 30, each, yes, scream, CBR, Epcot, 2 - 6 points
lisaviolet - 8:30, on time, yes, no change, ASMu, MK, 2 - 16 points
Gracefulskinny - 5:45, on time, yes, anxious, POP, Epcot, 45 - 8 points
chookie94 - 6:00, on time/not, no, confused, ASMo, Epcot, 3 - 2 points
Self_resqing_princz - 7:00, on time/not, no, none, ASMo, Epcot, 2 - 2 points.


Bonus points
Cinderkelly - 1 point for first.
Curiouser&curiouser! - 2 points for pointing out mistakes.
irene_dsc - 1 point for pointing out the obvious oversight.
SnowWhiteOz - 1 point for not biting.
vrajewski10513 - 2 points for reverse Home Alone.
queenbetsey - 2 points closest transpo time. (tie)
Steppesister - 2 points closest transpo time. (tie) 2 points for asking.
bankr63 - 2 points for knowing long johns when he wears them.
SoccerDogWithEars - 4 points for scissors.
jandlinz - 2 points for asking.
fallonkendra - 2 points for turning over a New Leaf.
lisaviolet - 2 points for knowing damn well.

Score
queenbetsey - 28 points
cinderkelly - 27 points
Steppesister - 27 points
bankr63 - 22 points
krnelson65 - 22 points
orangecats2 - 21 points
tashers - 20 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - 19 points
lisaviolet - 18 points
chillitsanne - 17 points
irene_dsc - 17 points
Mrs T 2009 - 17 points
SoccerDogWithEars - 16 points
jandlinz - 15 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 - 14 points
Mac Brew - 14 points
natebenma - 14 points
SnowWhiteOz - 14 points
DonnaBeeGood - 12 points
vrajewski10513 - 12 points
fallonkendra - 11 points
juniorbugman - 10 points
QueenJen - 10 points
Thumper_Man - 10 points
Captain_Oblivious - 9 points
Chrystmasangel - 9 points
Curiouser&curiouser! - 8 points
Gracefulskinny - 8 points
franandaj - 7 points
rndmr2 - 7 points
Terra Nova guy - 6 points
Thumper_Man's Wife - 6 points
chookie94 - 2 points
Self_resqing_princz - 2 points
MHSweb79 - 1 point
MAGICFOR2 - 1 point


Coming up: First park!
And one of my favourite photos!

Update 2. Come in Threes​

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Yay, you started. Fascinating as always. Where is the next installment? Geesh!

 

[Steppesister]

Actually, I was too overjoyed to really
be concerned with something so
petty as a common mugger.

So glad you have your priorities straight!

I didn't want to wind up in
Florida wearing long johns again.

A true TR Writer would have for quality TR writing's sake. We demand entertainment!

Not only was Ruby letting me go by myself,
but she was getting up at the crack of OMG
to drive me.

She is a finer woman than me.

Um... when I become a senior citizen,
this behaviour is not encouraged.

Become?

I can't say that I slept,
but I did at least rest.

Just what your nurse ordered.

I sashayed

Well thank God we're still doing that!

Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

Noted.


aaaaand crap.

I think I preferred traveling sans valise
like my last solo trip.
But since I was...

I think I see where this might be going. Me no likey.

I got to the Bus stop at 1:47pm
and was on the bus by 1:50.

Not too shabby.

There was nothing at POP.

You don't really think
I went to bed do you?

You can't fool me. I'd have disenharemed myself if you had.

So guess what was the first thing
I did upon arriving at MK?
It's something that I'd never
done before.

Got a photo of you with the train station in the background.

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?

BOG

3. What's the first ride I go on?

HM

4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?

12AM

5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?

ECVs

6. How many times was I asked for directions?

3

(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)

Yes

8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?

SM, HM, SplM

9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?

A bunny wabbit

10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

Is this a serious question with a duh answer? you.

Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.

As long as you have a good on-time record and free snacks, I'd choose yours.

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

135 minutes

 

[SnowWhiteOz]

Contest

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
3. What's the first ride I go on?
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

I'm answering these quickly at work because of the whole first in best dressed thing but will comment properly when I get home

1. You grab a park map
2. Skipper's Canteen
3. Haunted Mansion
4. 10:30pm - you stayed for the last MSEP then went back to bed
5. Because they have to load a wheelchair or ECV
6. 6
7. Not this time.
8. Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean and Big Thunder
9. A lizard.
10. Myself? No, wait, it's you.

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.

I saw it. And if by it you the mean the new slogan on a certain bridge made of air

My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

Closest guess wins.
No duplication of guesses,
first come first served.
No changes allowed.
All guesses must be in
before September 15 update.
(After the next update.)

138 minutes

 

[DaisyDuck001]

"Passport?"
I handed over my passport.
"Any fruits or vegetables?"
I didn't tell him that the machine
had already asked me this.
Just keep smiling!
"No sir!" <smile>
...
"Why do you look constipated?"

"Because I don't have any fruits or vegetables."


Contest

1. So... what'd I do before even going in? Discovered you were no longer constipated, and used the washroom.
2. I have an ADR... where is it? Crystal Palace
3. What's the first ride I go on? Jungle Cruise
4. Considering my lack of sleep,how late do I stay at MK? 11:30PM
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes? Bus driver was on break
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.) 3
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.) yes
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to? Jungle Cruise, Splash Mountain, Philharmagic
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort? snake
10. Who's your favourite TR writer? My favorite, not your favorite? Tie between TheLittleKatie and DisneyFreak98

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.
It was 2:54 when you took the picture of your room.

My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?
103 minutes

 

[franandaj]

franandaj - 5:15, on time, no, disappointed, POR, Epcot, 5 - 6 points

Ugh, so obviously I suck this time around.

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.

I will be back for the rest of the replies and answers, but I will say that in addition to pineapple wine before all flights, snarkiness is a new service! Nice.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

I will be back for the rest of the replies and answers, but I will say that in addition to pineapple wine before all flights, snarkiness is a new service! Nice.

Oh, man, of course I saw the PKONDZ AIRLINES, but I thought "did you see it" referred to the last picture!

 

[tashers]

Woo, excited to see the update today! Looking forward to reading more!

1. Take pictures of the pumpkins at the entrance.
2. Be Our Guest
3. 7DMT
4. 10:45PM
5. Bus broke down right before your stop and then you had to wait for another!
6. 3 times
7. Yes to the dole Whip
8. Given that I said 7DMT for your first ride, I certainly hope you had a FP for it, also one for Haunted Mansion and BTMRR
9. Gecko
10. Pkondz, obviously

Bonus: But wouldn't saying "yes" be the snarky answer?


My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
144 Minutes

 

[irene_dsc]

Contest

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
3. What's the first ride I go on?
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.


My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

1. Get a photo from the Photopass photographer in front of the train station?
2. LTT
3. HM
4. 10:30
5. Because you let a family with small children take the last spots on the bus that got there first.
6. 3
7. Yes
8. HM, Peter Pan, Space Mountain
9. Crocodile
10. You, of course! (Liesa would have to be my favorite PTR writer so far, since she only just started her TR!)

Bonus answer: Constipated - 8 points
(This was a bonus question for long time readers.)

Well, of course. How could it have possibly been anything else?

irene_dsc - 1 point for pointing out the obvious oversight.

Naturally. Thanks for the bonus point!

The footwear warning is making me worried. I almost put visiting first aid for your foot as the first thing you did, but figured you wouldn't have blisters *quite* that quickly - and you did mention that you brought scissors for your moleskin this time.

Oh, and I forgot to quote the other bonus question, but yes, I did see it! I like the new slogan.

Oops - forgot the bus total! 174 minutes

 

[kaileighbug]

1. gift shop forgot something?
2. Be our guest
3. Haunted Masion
4. 9 pm
5. Scooter mishap
6. 2
7. yes
8. space mountain, 7DMT, BTM
9. Rabbit
10. Nebo

137 min total on buses

 

[fallonkendra]

One fringe benefit of going downtown
was that I was driving right past a
Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

They have locations in
Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg,
Regina and Vancouver.

They aren't just good.
They are the best cookies
on the planet.
Bar none.

I will second this. Try the gluten-free chocolate macaroon cookie - incredible.

Also - did you happen to have these again when you landed in Edmonton, since there is a Cookies by George right after you come through security. It's becoming my tradition (when we're not flying at balls-o-clock and everything is closed)

Wait... she said my card was here...
and then asked for my name?

This made me laugh, it reminds me of the employees at the RBC I go to.

She then quickly and expertly affixed it
to my suitcase.
I watched intently, vowing to try and figure
out how she did it, so next time I wouldn't
look like an inept dweeb.

The last time I flew with WestJet, I was so proud of myself for putting my luggage tag on, but then when I went to drop my bag off the WestJest employee just looked at it and sighed, then reached out and fixed it.

The attendant then told me that the bag
was checked through to MCO.
Really! No more airport two step?
(Last trip, we'd almost missed our flight
because we had to wait for our bag,
retrieve it, then put it on another conveyor belt,
before running for our connection.)

Apparently this had been changed
last December.
Good. It always seemed so stupid.

Ok, this might make me reconsider taking a US connection through Toronto, I always hated that! And it always felt like you had to walk 5km with all of your bags just to get to customs to drop it off again.

I see you've been photoshopping. Also - bonus question!

So, I had never heard of Pizza Hotline, but apparently the owner's son went to the same school as either my boyfriend or my sister-in-law at some point, and he thought he was a big deal because his dad owned a pizza place.

With any luck, this early in the day,
there won't be much of a line at secu.....

Scratch my idea of reconsidering connections through Toronto that involve customs. No thank you!

"Where are you going?"
"Disneyworld!" <smile>

So earlier this year when we were on our way, I excitedly told the customs guy in Edmonton we were off to Disney. He looked me up and down, shrugged and replied with "I guess you do have the whole Ariel thing going on with that blinding red hair".

I wasn't the least bit worried.
I'd decided to travel in comfort
so had paid to upgrade to a "Plus" seat.
More leg room, priority boarding,
free food and drinks and no one
sits in the middle seat.
(They have little tables there instead.)

It's about $100 for this upgrade, correct? I'm really considering doing it, our flight this time is from Edmonton-Calgary-Orlando, so that YCC-MCO one is quite long.

Also - life hack for WestJet: if you ever end up on a tiny WestJet Encore plane, you can grab the first row for free if it's available when you check-in online 24 hours before your flight. I managed to get row #1 on 3 of my 4 flights from Toronto-Fredericton-Toronto this year. You still get priority boarding and free snacks (but they don't carry the sandwiches, just the snack boxes).

Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

You need to go to a Running Room and be properly fit for sneakers. If you're wearing the proper ones, you never have to break them in. My boyfriend is a crazy running person and he's been to footwear seminars at The Running Room (I can't make this stuff up...). He made me go last fall before our trip, and I barely wore my sneakers before going to Disney and I didn't have a single minute of pain because of them.

#viewsfromthe6ix

The car I was in was packed,
but you could read the
excitement and wonder on
everyone's faces!!
Yay!!! We're going to Disneyworld!!!

This made me laugh way harder than it should have.

I'd paid a little extra
(I think it was like $10/day)
for a preferred room.

Yup!
The absolute closest room to the buses
and Melody Hall.

Wow! Did I ever luck out!

In about thirty seconds,
I'd walked from the lobby
to my room.

Ok, noted. We stayed at ASMu on our last trip, and we were in one of the very last buildings. That walk sucked at the end of the night.

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
3. What's the first ride I go on?
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.


My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

1. Grabbed a celebration button
2. Skipper's Canteen
3. Jungle Cruise
4. 10pm
5. You leave right after Wishes, so you get stuck behind the masses of people leaving at the same time. Therefore, you need to wait for a second bus.
6. Three times
7. Yes
8. Space, Splash and Mine Train
9. Canadian goose
10. I think I'm supposed to say you here...

Bonus: See above. Nice photoshopping.

Canadian Bonus: 150 minutes, with a lot of sorry's.

 

[afwdwfan]

Now this TR will not be all
gloom and doom!

Says you...

What am I talking about?

Who knows?

Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

They have locations in
Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg,
Regina and Vancouver.

I'll have to remember that. My BiL was just in Regina last week for an interview. If he ends up working for them he might have to bring some home when he makes trips to the corporate office.

Moments later, I saw her striding triumphantly
across the lobby waving an envelope in her hand.
"It's here!" She cried out.

Woohoo!!! Finally! Sorry you had so much difficulty getting to that point though.

I finally fell asleep around 1:45am
Which meant that it really sucked
when the alarm went off at 2:15am.

Why did you even go to bed?

A slight frisson went down my spine.
I always wonder if I'll see it again.

Um... when I become a senior citizen

Become?

"Why do you look constipated?"

Well, I guess I do plan to leave something in the United States...

Oh. And notice the brand spanking new shoes?
This is a public service announcement.
Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

I thought everybody knew that.

Eventually, the bag did arrive however.
Not, of course, until after I started
panicking and wondering what I was
going to do if it didn't show up.

So your bag was second?

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
3. What's the first ride I go on?
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

1. Picture in front of the train station
2. Town Square? - seems you always end up there
3. It's a Small World, featuring AC/DC
4. 10:30
5. Because although you had a VIP transportation pass, you failed to realize that Disney is adding more and more upcharge services every day. Now the VIP pass only guarantees less than a 20 minute wait, and what you really needed was the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious VIP transportation pass which costs only 7 times as much as your puny VIP pass.
6. twice
7. Yes
8. Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mountain, Pirates
9. lizard
10. @Captain_Oblivious ... oh wait, I guess you're looking for a different answer. Let's try @pkondz

(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.

They have the snarkiest pilots.

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

123 minutes

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Shall I be honest with you?
There was a point during my travels,
when I considered chucking
the whole TR and just not writing it.
(And before you start celebrating,
I am writing it. So you're stuck with me.)

I was feeling pretty upset.
Now before you start worrying,
no, it's not a death in the family
or anything nearly so serious.

Still, at the time, it put a real
damper on my enthusiasm.

Yikes. That's very worrisome.

And there were some great,
big fantastic highs, too!

That sounds better.

And Disney travel...
well, rumour has it...
that it can be pricey.

You know, I've heard that one, too. Never knew whether I should believe it or not.

One fringe benefit of going downtown
was that I was driving right past a
Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

Well, ok. But they're cookies. I mean, how much more amazing could they--

Seriously. If you live far away,
they'd be worth the flight just to get some.

Seriously.





Seriously.

[Keanu Reeves Face] Whoa. [/Keanu Reeves Face]

She looked at me as if I had a bug on my head.

I quickly took Herbie the Wonder Beetle
off my head and put him in my pocket.

"It says you lose it in 2012." She stated.
"What? No. Maybe that's when I first got it." I replied.
"When you lose it?" She asked.
"Sunday." I repeated.
"Oh." She said. Shaking her head.
"It will come on Wednesday."

Why do I feel like I'm watching an Abbott and Costello routine here?

Why didn't she do that the first time?
Maybe there's a pile for helping customers,
but not really helping them.
And a pile for actually helping them
to make yourself look like a hero.

I don't know.

I think they're called the "Make 'Em Go Away" Pile and the "Crap, They're Not Going Away Yet" Pile.

"When did you report it lost?" She asked.
"Sunday." I repeated.
(I didn't bother to clarify that I had not,
in fact, lost the card. I didn't want to
complicate things further.)
"Oh." She said. "It won't get here 'til Friday."

Friday! We're getting worse! Not better!

You'd better leave before it turns into next month!

Moments later, I saw her striding triumphantly
across the lobby waving an envelope in her hand.
"It's here!" She cried out.

The new L.L. Bean catalog! It's here!

That evening, I spent my time cooking,
(Spaetzle, chicken schnitzel,
jaeger sauce and corn on the cob.
Gotta make sure they don't
replace me while I'm gone)

You are a wise man. I'm not sure anyone would notice if I was gone.

Finale of America's Got Talent
with Ruby.
(I figured the winner had to be between
two people, and I was right.)

I was pulling for the Eagles football player/magician. Not that I'm biased or anything.

I finally fell asleep around 1:45am
Which meant that it really sucked
when the alarm went off at 2:15am.

Well, that was a nice little nap. And it would have sucked anyway, even if you'd fallen asleep sooner.

I watched intently, vowing to try and figure
out how she did it, so next time I wouldn't
look like an inept dweeb.
I feel that if I can look like an ept dweeb,
my life would be complete.

Bravo. That's one of those words that makes you wonder. Another favorite reminds me of a line from Heathers: you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?

Plane's here.
Always a good thing.
I would've been surprised if it wasn't.
I mean, it's doubtful that it
would be coming in from somewhere
else at that time of day.

Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, what could possibly go so wrong that your plane would never show up at the gate?

You'd think there'd be more people around
at four o'clock in the morning, wouldn't you?

No. Nobody's that dumb.

I hate having to put my bag
under the seat in front of me.
That's where my feet go!
But these days, where people
bring a personal item,
(which is usually the size of a carry on)
a carry on
(which is usually the size of a large bag)
and a large bag
(which is the size of a small car)
onto the plane;
overhead bin space is at a premium.

Truth. Etch it in stone.

Actually, I have no idea which part
of the city I'm looking at.
But I do love looking at cities at night.

I love views from the air, period. I always try to get the window seat when I fly. I just find it endlessly fascinating.

This is what happens when
I take pictures with my iPod.
Still, better than holding
my camera with jumbo zoom
for the entire flight.
Just take my word for it,
the CN tower's there.

Yeah, that digital zoom breaks down pretty quickly.

With any luck, this early in the day,
there won't be much of a line at secu.....

Son of a...

I mean, wow, that's a long line.

The first thing you do is
walk up to a kiosk and answer
questions like, "Are you a criminal?"
or "Are you a terrorist?"
or "Are you bringing a banana?"

Do you plan on putting that banana in anyone's tailpipe? This is considered terrorism in some parts of the world.

"Are you leaving anything in the States?"
"No sir." <still smiling>
"Why do you look constipated?"

Hey, my Jim Carrey gif was almost right.

"It's airplane food. Bungs me up like gangbusters."
He nodded sagely, handed me back my passport,
advised me to eat some corn
and waved me on my way.

I would have sent you to Taco Bell. Flushes the system right out.

Oh. And notice the brand spanking new shoes?
This is a public service announcement.
Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

Trust me on this.

Uh oh.

It's the tall one.
There. Now you can tell the grandkids.
Who will roll their eyes.

I'll just tell my teenagers. Who will have the same reaction.

That's life right there in a nutshell.
Hopefully your life has more thrills.
Ruby's is filled with disappointment.

Well, the deck is stacked against her. Poor woman.

The rest are just LPFs.
LPF?
That stands for Little Puffy Fu...uh.... Fluffers.

Technical term?

I noticed that the first three cars
were cordoned off and empty.
I presume they were going
somewhere else.

I guess the Kardashians were visiting at the same time as you.

The car I was in was packed,
but you could read the
excitement and wonder on
everyone's faces!!
Yay!!! We're going to Disneyworld!!!

Wow. Who pi---d in their corn flakes?

I've mentioned this before.
My airport dream is to be
the first bag out of the chute.

No! Wait! Let me rephrase that.
I don't want to be the first bag...
I want my bag to be first.

Get a load of the ol' bag.

Have you ever seen a Ponzi running
around in circles waving his arms in the air?

No, but I saw one with what looked like blood on his shorts.

Hmmm.... three minutes.
They're slipping.

That's it. Vacation ruined.

I did not have as good bus service
as I'd experienced the last two trips.

You mean...not perfect? Was there anywhere to go but down?

See that very first window on the ground floor?

Yup!
The absolute closest room to the buses
and Melody Hall.

Wow! Did I ever luck out!

Tomorrow was another day.
And I was at Disney!

Um..but it's still daylight...

You don't really think
I went to bed do you?
Magic Kingdom has late EMH tonight!
Open 'til Midnight.
Let's go!!!!

Not at all. It's Disney! You can sleep when you're dead!

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?

Had your photo taken in front of the train station.

2. I have an ADR... where is it?

Liberty Tree Tavern

3. What's the first ride I go on?

Haunted Mansion

4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?

I'll say Disney adrenaline gives you a second wind. 11:30 p.m.

5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?

The bus driver goes on break and switches off with a new one.

6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)

3.

7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)

Yes. How could you possibly resist?

8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?

BTMRR, 7DMT, POTC

9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?

Lizard

10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

@Steppesister Pkondz! Definitely @pkondz . I mean, I devoted a whole chapter in my TR saying how great your TR's are.

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.

Yes. I'll cloak my answer in super-secret inviso-text:

"Pkondz Airways. Fly the Snarky Skies!"

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

Let's see...mulitply by 15...carry the 1...subtract 23...multiply exponentially by the number of scooters needing to be loaded...multiply by the number of rainstorms...divide by the number of buses that pass by destined for other parks...

153

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Well, I guess I do plan to leave something in the United States...

You beat me to the punch on that response!

10. @Captain_Oblivious ... oh wait, I guess you're looking for a different answer. Let's try @pkondz

I'm definitely giving you bonus points on my TR.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Shall I be honest with you?

Would that be considered: a first?

There was a point during my travels,
when I considered chucking
the whole TR and just not writing it.

Pbbft…
You were considering that before you left.
But your harem would revolt, and that wouldn’t be pretty.

(And before you start celebrating,
I am writing it. So you're stuck with me.)

More like you’re stuck with us.

The credit card fiasco
(remember that?)

Yep…

It caused some stress, but, well...
You'll see, later on in this update.

Tease!

Disney travel...
well, rumour has it...
that it can be pricey.

And I definitely had to go downtown.
I mean, if I didn't do that,
there wasn't much point in writing
this TR, now was there?

Cryptic…
I like it.

Oh, I suppose I still could...
But, it just adds to the flavour.

And the arouma


(trying to practice speaking Canadian)

What am I talking about?

clichés, platitudes and nonsequiturs?

One fringe benefit of going downtown
was that I was driving right past a
Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

That’d be quite the drive for a cookie.

They aren't just good.
They are the best cookies
on the planet.
Bar none.

But are they better then Zebra Domes?

Where was I?

In a cookie stupor.

Let's pop in, shall we?

Hay, you’re driving, we’re just all jumbled up in the back seat, here.

She looked at me as if I had a bug on my head.

At least that’s a slight step up from having lobsters crawling out of your ears.
(Just ask Ralph)

I quickly took Herbie the Wonder Beetle
off my head and put him in my pocket.

Yep…
a lobster in your pocket would have made for a rather different story.

It immediately became clear
that English was not her first language.

Thought y’all spoke Canadian up that’a way.

I don't know if I'd have the guts to
move somewhere where I couldn't
speak the language.

Or the skill set to get a job in one of their banks.

Wait... she said my card was here...
and then asked for my name?
hmmm.....

Yeah, that’s how I heard it as well.
Double hummm….

"When you lose it?" She asked.

While chasing moose and squirrel.

She came back.
"Card not here, darling."

Fixed it for ya’.


I’m also assuming her name was Natasha…
it just completes the picture so nicely.

"Oh." She said. "It won't get here 'til Friday."

Friday?
Losing ground quickly, here.

Moments later, I saw her striding triumphantly
across the lobby waving an envelope in her hand.
"It's here!" She cried out.

Well, bad things come in threes,
don't they?

I’ve been told that…
but really it’s just a function of when one starts and/or stops counting.

That evening, I spent my time cooking,
(Spaetzle, chicken schnitzel,
jaeger sauce and corn on the cob.

Mmmmmmm…
Now I need to make a trip out to the Waldhorn.

I didn't want to wind up in
Florida wearing long johns again.

Good choice.

But apparently, if you get up
at stupid o'clock,
not even the animals are dumb
enough to wake up.

Consider it a win.

By three o'clock, we were out
the door and in the car.
Yes. We.
Not only was Ruby letting me go by myself,
but she was getting up at the crack of OMG
to drive me.

Sainthood ensured.

I feel that if I can look like an ept dweeb,
my life would be complete.

We’ve all got a dream.

(Yours may stink, but still…)

I knew I'd be spending quite a bit
of time sitting on my brains today,

Truth!

I quickly darted forward,
elbowing an elderly lady in the ribs.
Ha! It stopped her in her tracks.
Her aged husband tried to keep their spot,
but a quick stomp on his instep
put a stop to that!


Um... when I become a senior citizen,
this behaviour is not encouraged.

Oh, I’d never do such.
But I know this gal by the name of Karma, and she’s a real…

the CN tower's there.
It's still the tallest free standing
structure in North America.

With “free standing” being the optimal part of the description.

With any luck, this early in the day,
there won't be much of a line at secu.....

Yep…
One mell of a hess

The first thing you do is
walk up to a kiosk and answer
questions like, "Are you a criminal?"
or "Are you a terrorist?"
or "Are you bringing a banana?"

Careful how you answer that last one…
Bananas really get them all worked up.
Almost as much as apples do, I’m told.

But this time! This time! Things will be different.
I plastered a friendly smile on my mug
and walked confidently forward.

Scowls work better on most Americans.
At least that’s my experience.

Since I was in no rush,
I sashayed along until I found my gate.

Should have done the Time Warp.

and no one
sits in the middle seat.
(They have little tables there instead.)

I’d just about consider paying for that upgrade.

Oh who am I kidding…
I can’t even afford the fair on any airline in the first place.

Oh. And notice the brand spanking new shoes?

That’s a joke, right?
New shoes… at WDW?

This is a public service announcement.
Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.

That’s what I’m talking about here.
Just don’t do it!

There. Now you can tell the grandkids.
Who will roll their eyes.

They’ll do that regardless of the subject matter.

This will mark the beginning of
a 50/50, hit or miss endeavor
to photograph my food.

I can live with that.

Hopefully your life has more thrills.
Ruby's is filled with disappointment.

So is Tamara’s…
and probably that of every other married woman on the planet.

I see thunderstorm clouds
(Cumulonimbus, aka: CBs)
and that means rain.

Welcome to Florida.

The rest are just LPFs.
LPF?
That stands for Little Puffy Fu...uh.... Fluffers.

At least you didn’t see any BUFs coming directly toward you.

I noticed we were at Gate 13 again.

I’d consider this a good omen.

Glad to see my VIP transportation
service hasn't lapsed!

“I… hate you…”

Of course while it's all peachy keen
to be the first at the carousel of patience,

Is that “patience” or carousel of “penitence”?

I think I preferred traveling sans valise
like my last solo trip.
But since I was...

Oh. Right. I haven't told you about that yet.

Well, it'll make sense soon enough.

You must be bearing gifts.


You’re not Greek, are you?

when the bags started to come out,
mine wasn't first!!

I mean, what the heck is with that?!?!?

There’s that penitence part of it I was on about.

Do I not deserve to have my bag come first?
I ask you! Do I not deserve it?!?!?

Well…

(Don't answer that.)

Dang!

My airport dream is to be
the first bag out of the chute.

I thought it was to be an ept dweeb?

No! Wait! Let me rephrase that.
I don't want to be the first bag...
I want my bag to be first.

The other way around could be more exciting.

And this was just the beginning.
I did not have as good bus service
as I'd experienced the last two trips.

Welcome to the rest of our worlds.

I was seated... in air conditioning.
That's impotent.


Important.

In Florida in September it sure as heck is.

Back on the bus...

“Baby steps…”

Remember that fax I had
Touring Plans send for me?

Actually, yes.
I thought that was an interesting feature of the service.
And I didn’t know that faxing requests was still an option at the resorts.

See that very first window on the ground floor?

Yup!
The absolute closest room to the buses
and Melody Hall.

I crawled into bed and passed out without
even bothering to undress or unpack.
Tomorrow was another day.

Beg pardon?

Magic Kingdom has late EMH tonight!
Open 'til Midnight.
Let's go!!!!

That’s what I thought you said.

While a wait of seven minutes
is practically unheard of for pkondz…

But normal for most of us.

Contest

1. So... what'd I do before even going in?

The Hokey Pokey…

No?
How about: took pictures of the Fall decorations in front of the train station

2. I have an ADR... where is it?

Skipper Canteen
(Going out on a limb with that one)

3. What's the first ride I go on?

POTC

4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?

10:30

5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?

Good Lord! Don’t see much chance in getting this one right; there are so many possibilities.
I’m going to go with either you’re at the wrong stop or Godzilla ate the first bus and you had to wait for the backup. Or maybe you were delayed by a parade of 742 ECVs…
You ran out of gas!
got a flat tire!
didn’t have change for cab fare!
lost your tux at the cleaners!
locked the keys in the car!
An old friend came in from out of town!
Someone stole your car!
There was an earthquake!
A terrible flood!
Locusts!
IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)

Twice (on this day anyway)

7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)

Of course!

8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?

Haunted Mansion, 7DMT, Splash Mtn.

9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?

Squeak, Squeaker… Squeak Squeaken.

10. Who's your favourite TR writer?

Mark.


Oh, wait… that answer might could garner me double secret negative points, mightn’t it? …
I meant to say: Ponzie, of course!

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.

You mean: The - dark - Friendly Skies?

My Big Fat Canadian Big Fat Canadian Bonus:

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

234 (always make things divisible by 13 when given a chance)

 

[bankr63]

Close to Home
When I originally picked
the title for this TR,
I had no idea how prophetic
it would turn out to be.

Highs and lows...

Oooh, foreshadowing...

The credit card fiasco
(remember that?)
was a low.
It caused some stress, but, well...
You'll see, later on in this update.



There was one incident
that I very much wish I could re-do.
And I'll cover that when it's time.

Good Lord, enough of the build up, get on with the story...

So let's get started, shall we?

You bet, it's about time...

-------------------------------------------------

So where's my dang card!!

Oh, oh, I know, I know...


Sorry.

Maybe...
Oh, that wasn't a question.


One fringe benefit of going downtown
was that I was driving right past a
Cookies by George store.
If you don't know what that is,
or haven't tried them...

GET SOME.

They have locations in
Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg,
Regina and Vancouver.

Nothing East of the Red/Mississippi Rivers? Probably taste like granola...


Moments later, I saw her striding triumphantly
across the lobby waving an envelope in her hand.
"It's here!" She cried out.
Every eye in the bank turned to her,
and then to me.
I desperately hoped there were no
criminals looking to rob someone, in the area.
See, I KNEW they would come through...

Well, bad things come in threes,
don't they?

Again with the foreshadowing...

Yes. They do.

That evening, I spent my time cooking,
(Spaetzle, chicken schnitzel,
jaeger sauce and corn on the cob.
Check, Pkondzi cooked and bad things come in threes, got it.
Phew, glad that one's over.

Gotta make sure they don't
replace me while I'm gone),
packing and watching Frozen with Elle
(seemed appropriate, considering)
and the Finale of America's Got Talent
with Ruby.
(I figured the winner had to be between
two people, and I was right.)
Um, doesn't a winner usually require 2 people?
Grace was pretty impressive. Reminded us of a VERY young Basia Bulat, who I think hails from your neck of the woods originally?
I thought Brian J Crum was going to do better than he did, but I bet we'll hear of him again.

Not only was Ruby letting me go by myself,
but she was getting up at the crack of OMG
to drive me.

An absolute angel!

The attendant then told me that the bag
was checked through to MCO.
Really! No more airport two step?
(Last trip, we'd almost missed our flight
because we had to wait for our bag,
retrieve it, then put it on another conveyor belt,
before running for our connection.)

Okay, that's good to know! Terminal 1 at Pearson has had that for a while, but didn't know they had rolled out the international check through in T3 as well now! Filed away for future reference.

Of course that's just one more thing to panic Pkondz. Making sure you id the photo of your bag correctly.
"Sir, is this your bag?"
"Um, why, is it ticking?"
"No."
"Did the sniffer dogs pick it?"
"No"
"Did the x-ray machine show unusual objects?"
"Sir, please step into this side room..."


elbowing an elderly lady in the ribs.
Ha! It stopped her in her tracks.
Her aged husband tried to keep their spot,
but a quick stomp on his instep
put a stop to that!
You are one class act my friend...

It's still the tallest free standing
structure in North America.
(Yes. Taller than One World Trade Center.)
Not to worry...
I'll have a better shot when I leave.
Meh, you seen one big stick in the air, you've seen them all.
Now when they get the elevators to randomly drop you 100+ stories, with hidden doors opening to show the waiting crowds your screaming maw, then you'll have a winner. Tower of Terror II, brought to you by Disney, the Toronto Cardiac Institute, and Depends...


Oh. And notice the brand spanking new shoes?
This is a public service announcement.
Do not, under any circumstances,
buy new shoes and not break them in
before going to Disneyworld.
Those actually look a lot like my current pair of New Balance running shoes. I ran a 5K in mine with nary a break in. Sorry to hear your experience wasn't as good.

There was a small chocolatey square too,
but it didn't look overly appetizing,
so I skipped that one.
But that was Ex-Lax, WestJet wants you to be comfortable.

If you want food porn,
you will sometimes be thrilled,
sometimes disappointed.

That's life right there in a nutshell.
Hopefully your life has more thrills.
Ruby's is filled with disappointment.
Ah ha! So dinner WAS the 3rd thing.


We landed shortly after and as I exited the plane
(First!)
I noticed we were at Gate 13 again.
On my first solo trip,
I had trouble finding it as I was leaving
because there's an overhead sign
a little farther down the hall
that points to Gates 12-15.
Good thing it wasn't gate 9 3/4. That one is REALLY hard to find...

Whatever! I'm here! In Florida!
The car I was in was packed,
but you could read the
excitement and wonder on
everyone's faces!!
Yay!!! We're going to Disneyworld!!!
Wow, constipation appears to be a problem for all WestJetters.

One of the nice things about
getting off the plane first,
is you're first at the baggage carousel.

Of course while it's all peachy keen
to be the first at the carousel of patience,
it doesn't really matter
since your bag isn't going to come out
any faster.

Okay, quick anecdote. A+ and I were travelling to Cabo during the last(?) Air Canada labor disruption (spelled that okay OC2?). We were overnighting in Toronto. Got to the carousel ahead of the madding crowd. And waited, and waited and waitezzzzzz.....
Eventually it started up, and ran for about 5 minutes, then the first bag came up. One minute later, the second bag came up. One minute later, the third bag came up. 90 bags (minutes) later we got our first bag. About 10 minutes later our second.

Got checked in to our hotel room about 2 hours late. I'm really glad we weren't connecting until the morning tho!

I think I preferred traveling sans valise
like my last solo trip.
But since I was...
Which is exactly how we travelled the next trip. WE were the ones with the maxed out carrions.

"Can you show me on the map
where exactly my room is?"

He circled the location on the map.

I set out with my bag.
I exited the lobby and...
There was my room.

See that very first window on the ground floor?

Yup!
The absolute closest room to the buses
and Melody Hall.
SCORE!!!!!!!


Contest
1. So... what'd I do before even going in?
I'm going to say you stopped to get a locker for some mystery package that you have been alluding to.
2. I have an ADR... where is it?
I'm gonna say BOG
3. What's the first ride I go on?
POTC
4. Considering my lack of sleep,
how late do I stay at MK?
11:55 pm - trying to surf out just ahead of the madding crowds.
5. Why is my wait for a bus 16 minutes?
Because you didn't surf fast enough and a scooter thingy got the last spot, so you had to wait for the next bus.
6. How many times was I asked for directions?
(It just happens to me.)
Well, no, it has happened to me too. They just like asking intelligent looking guys. (fishing for bonus there).
I'll say twice.
7. Dole whip. Yes or no? (as in did I have one.)
Oh he!! yes!
8. Why yes, I do have FPs. Where to?
7DMT, (lucky duck)
BTM
SM
9. What wild animal do I encounter
back at the resort?
Geez, family board Pkondz!
Ummm, racoon?
10. Who's your favourite TR writer?
Nebo - damn, there goes the bonus points...

Bonus:
(Back by popular demand)
Did you see it? Be vaguely specific.
Saying yes ain't gonna work.
I'm pretty sure that Air Kabek already uses that tagline. Perhaps "we don't constipate" would be better?

My Big Fat Canadian Bonus:
I ride Disney transportation
eighteen times this trip,
including two trips on DME/dud.
You already know the first three
had wait times totalling 26 minutes.
(3 for DME + 23 for park buses.)
I've also told you that my luck
wasn't as good as my previous trips.

Armed with that information...

What is my total time spent waiting
for Disney Transportation?

Closest guess wins.
No duplication of guesses,
first come first served.
No changes allowed.
All guesses must be in
before September 15 update.
(After the next update.)
Gonna wait to answer then. Probably more clues coming, but I have already calculated my first guess. Wrote it down on a piece of paper at the office and photographed it.

Answer: 5:15 - 2 points
To be honest, that was a gimme. You said you were on WestJet and that was the only connector that made the Orlando flight.

Bonus answer: Constipated - 8 points
(This was a bonus question for long time readers.)
Doh! So totally missed that one!

bankr63 - 2 points for knowing long johns when he wears them.
Who says I wear underwear?

Score
bankr63 - 22 points
I'm number 4, I'm number 4! Almost as much fun as making the wild card game...

Coming up: First park!
And one of my favourite photos!

Standing by...

 

[pkondz]

Yay, you started.

I did?
Hey! You're right! I did!

Go figure.

Fascinating as always.

Thanks!

Where is the next installment? Geesh!

Already working on it.

I just shocked you, didn't I?

 

[Mac Brew]

Hi Pkondz
It's a perk of living in a country where everyone who does not live there wants to emigrate to even the Americans what to move there at the moment well at least until after their elections have taken place.I am referring to your language problem at your bank.I'm from the east coast and even natives from the west coast here are hard to understand by us natives from the east.I think I got it you where flying Pkondz airlines acording to the sign at the aircraft at your first departure point. The fake orail photo you would think that the passenger's were heading for a wake and not Orlando. Luky with your room at least no stairs this time.we'll I beer stop rambling on and get to the competiton

1 You were for the first time aousted by the survey cast member and asked numerous questions about your visit
2 Be our guest restaurant
3 Hunted mansion
4 Leave the park at 22:30hrs
5 You meen you had to wait longer than 2mins for a bus. What came over disney I bet it was one of many Ecv's boarding the vehicle that caused the delay by not managing to drive the said vehicle properly.
6 A man that looks in control will always get asked for directions looks like you where asked nine times tonight.
7 No to the dole whip next time in the park.
8 The three mountains Splash,Space and Big thunder.
9 One of the local rascal Racoons was your first animal.
r

 

[Mac Brew]

Continuation of competition answers
10 Has to be The little Kate as she is from this side of the pond but you are a very, very close second .But if Nebo was still writing it would have to be him first I mean.What an inspeartion he was to a lot of future disboard trip writers & readers.
I think I did see the sign for Fly Pkondz airways at Whinipeg departure gate. Cant cheat mentioned thisin last post.
Bus time I was so far off the last report but I will give it a go of 293 mins or 4hrs 53mins.

Great start to your trip looking forward to the next installments
What happened on the fake orail to make all the passenger's apart from yourself to look so misrible.