This Is Us- Season two

[Pugsly]

I thought it was a really good episode, even if it didn't advance the "Pearson" story so much.

One thing I've read is, advocates in the foster system really appreciate how "This Is Us" portrays fostering. The show does a good job of capturing the flaws in a well-intentioned system, as well as how both children and adults struggle with the realities of it. I think Deja's character is really well-written--she's smart, she's trying so hard, but she's also been damaged. It really comes across that Deja and her mom love each other, but the mom was just a child herself, without a whole lot of support.

I’m a CASA (court appointed special advocate) who advocates for kids in the foster care system. I have to complete 12 hours of Continuing Education each year. Watching last night, I told DH I just completed my CE hour for this month by watching the show.

 

[Southernmiss]

Just watched it on the DVR. I thought it was a necessary episode to give us insight into Deja's story.

What an influence her grandmother was on her young life. She was her stability and truly a foundation to start from.

Too bad Deja's mom was not able to grow up and move beyond her choices for the sake of Deja.

I wonder if we'll see Raven again and what happens to her.

This episode was a definition of what makes people who they are and showed how 'This is Us'.

So many times something bad or good happens in one family member's life while at the same time another close relative is experiencing an opposite good or bad time in their life. And This is Us does a great job at bringing that to light.

This show just makes you think about your own life and how even the smallest things can change the overall course of your life.

 

[bethbuchall]

Deja's mom confided to Beth that it'd been a long time since she'd seen Deja "act like that." When Beth asked what she meant, she said "like a kid." I think Deja's mom started to realize that she'd forced Deja to grow up way too fast. She said she'd failed Deja and commented that she had told Deja "what would I do without you" since she was 5 years old. Then she said "Who does that to a kid?!" Beth tried to assure her that she had not failed, and that Deja loves her. Then it cut to Randall and Deja. The next time we saw Beth and Deja's mom, the mom was saying she needed to leave, and she can't take Deja with her.

Thank you!

 

[elgerber]

Did anyone else notice in the “Good Night Moon” montage, they showed two young boys reading the story? I’m guessing it was Jack and his brother. I saw an interview with Milo and he said there was still a lot of Jacks story to see, including his brother.

Yes it was Jack reading to his brother.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I watched last night and was blown away by the episode. I don't care about spoilers, so I had already read people's comments here and in a Facebook group I follow about the premise and how a lot of people didn't like it and thought it just seemed like a filler episode. It is true that we didn't learn much about the Pearson's in the episode, but it was definitely not a "filler" episode. Every single thing about that episode was researched and executed perfectly.

Being a teacher at an urban school with a revolving door of foster kids, I cried more in this episode than when Jack died a few weeks ago. I totally agree with the poster above who said this episode could definitely be used as an hour of Credit for anyone who works with kids. I saw it coming a mile away that Shauna was going to just up and leave Deja there without saying goodbye, but that didn't make me cry any less. Children are fiercely loyal to their parents, no matter how much bad stuff their parents have allowed to happen to them and I know it is going to break Deja's heart when she wakes up and her mom is gone.

On a lighter note - I am not one who has worried throughout this show about things being exactly accurate because it is a fictional TV show, but I did have to chuckle just a little bit with Deja and her Mom were evicted. The landlord came to their door and said "Your check bounced, if you don't pay by tonight, you're out". Then it showed them the next day with a police officer escorting them out. My DH is a Sheriff Deputy who does evictions all day every day for his job. That is not even the tiniest bit accurate to how an eviction works. It takes months and court orders to get someone evicted.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I agree with a PP. I don't think Shauna is a bad mom. I think she is a product of her environment and circumstances. She truly does love Deja but since she has no support her bad decisions end up never getting fixed.

IMO Deja shouldn't have been placed in foster care after cutting her hand. I see that as the system working against her. She was 13, at home alone, which a lot of kids of single mothers do. I did for many years when my mom worked two jobs. Some days I did cook dinner. The bad part was they couldn't reach Shauna but I don't think it was a removable offense. I think she should've been allowed to stay with her mom with a case worker watching over them with visits and check ins. Having Deja taken from her "made her" turn to drugs and then it was just a spiral. Now the gun in the car and being arrest...no choice but to place her.

Sometimes when you are poor, young, uneducated and trying to survive, when you make one bad, stupid decision you have no one to "save you" and everything just spirals. Shauna was 19 with a 3 year and NO support. I'm surprised she made it 10 years and kept afloat. Working at barely minimum wage while raising a kid. She made it work all those years.

I also don't think Shauna should just leave Deja and let her have a good life. Ok so Deja doesn't have time to be a kid. It's messed up but LOTS of kids of poor single mothers have to grow up fast. Should all of those kids be put in foster care or given up for adoption just because they don't have the life some people deem worthy?? Because they have to make dinner at 12 or take care of their little siblings while Mom works to pay the bills? It happened to me but I wouldn't trade my life with my family. No way do I think I would have been better off being raised by strangers. I am who I am because of where I come from.

I do think Shauna needs to straighten up. Leaving Deja alone with those men blew my mind!!! That is something I DO NOT agree with. But at the end of the day Deja will never have the same quality of life she has with Randall and Beth as she would with Shauna even if Shauna straightened up and stopped doing stupid crap. She will still be poor, she will still have to grow up fast, she will still miss a lot of being a kid but IMO that doesn't mean she should be raised by someone other than her mom.

I don't even know if all of that came out right or if I got my point across correctly.

 

[cabanafrau]

I agree with a PP. I don't think Shauna is a bad mom. I think she is a product of her environment and circumstances. She truly does love Deja but since she has no support her bad decisions end up never getting fixed.

IMO Deja shouldn't have been placed in foster care after cutting her hand. I see that as the system working against her. She was 13, at home alone, which a lot of kids of single mothers do. I did for many years when my mom worked two jobs. Some days I did cook dinner. The bad part was they couldn't reach Shauna but I don't think it was a removable offense. I think she should've been allowed to stay with her mom with a case worker watching over them with visits and check ins. Having Deja taken from her "made her" turn to drugs and then it was just a spiral. Now the gun in the car and being arrest...no choice but to place her.

Sometimes when you are poor, young, uneducated and trying to survive, when you make one bad, stupid decision you have no one to "save you" and everything just spirals. Shauna was 19 with a 3 year and NO support. I'm surprised she made it 10 years and kept afloat. Working at barely minimum wage while raising a kid. She made it work all those years.

I also don't think Shauna should just leave Deja and let her have a good life. Ok so Deja doesn't have time to be a kid. It's messed up but LOTS of kids of poor single mothers have to grow up fast. Should all of those kids be put in foster care or given up for adoption just because they don't have the life some people deem worthy?? Because they have to make dinner at 12 or take care of their little siblings while Mom works to pay the bills? It happened to me but I wouldn't trade my life with my family. No way do I think I would have been better off being raised by strangers. I am who I am because of where I come from.

I do think Shauna needs to straighten up. Leaving Deja alone with those men blew my mind!!! That is something I DO NOT agree with. But at the end of the day Deja will never have the same quality of life she has with Randall and Beth as she would with Shauna even if Shauna straightened up and stopped doing stupid crap. She will still be poor, she will still have to grow up fast, she will still miss a lot of being a kid but IMO that doesn't mean she should be raised by someone other than her mom.

I don't even know if all of that came out right or if I got my point across correctly.

I would be curious to hear @Pugsly's comments on the situation.

Putting Deja in foster care after she was injured wasn't really true to life from the cases I've seen. In situations I'm familiar with a safety plan would have been developed and monitoring would have happened similar to your suggestion. One of the first criteria the court addresses when reviewing the removal of children from their home is what efforts short of removal were made to allow the children to remain in their home.

As far as your comments about having Deja taken from her "making her" turn to drugs, absolutely not. Think about what would happen if someone removed your child from your care. Would you not be appearing at the court hearing within the next 24 to maybe 36 hours sober? If that court deemed the emergency removal necessary and set the case for a more thorough review in the next 30 days would you remain sober and ready to demonstrate that your child should not be made a temporary court ward? Shauna didn't ever progress beyond the 19, 20 year old who left 3 year old Deja alone in Gigi's apartment to go party -- same mother who prioritized partying with her friends after work on her birthday, leaving her daughter unable to reach her when she injured herself enough to need medical attention.

I expressed above that I would like this fictional story of fictional people resolve with Randall and Beth standing ready to be Deja's safety net while mom makes a serious course correction, or let them be the stable base where Deja can thrive and continue whatever relationship she can with mom to take the best out of the loving bond they have with one another.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I would be curious to hear @Pugsly's comments on the situation.

Putting Deja in foster care after she was injured wasn't really true to life from the cases I've seen. In situations I'm familiar with a safety plan would have been developed and monitoring would have happened similar to your suggestion. One of the first criteria the court addresses when reviewing the removal of children from their home is what efforts short of removal were made to allow the children to remain in their home.

As far as your comments about having Deja taken from her "making her" turn to drugs, absolutely not. Think about what would happen if someone removed your child from your care. Would you not be appearing at the court hearing within the next 24 to maybe 36 hours sober? If that court deemed the emergency removal necessary and set the case for a more thorough review in the next 30 days would you remain sober and ready to demonstrate that your child should not be made a temporary court ward? Shauna didn't ever progress beyond the 19, 20 year old who left 3 year old Deja alone in Gigi's apartment to go party -- same mother who prioritized partying with her friends after work on her birthday, leaving her daughter unable to reach her when she injured herself enough to need medical attention.

I expressed above that I would like this fictional story of fictional people resolve with Randall and Beth standing ready to be Deja's safety net while mom makes a serious course correction, or let them be the stable base where Deja can thrive and continue whatever relationship she can with mom to take the best out of the loving bond they have with one another.

That's the thing.....they never even showed that part. Did she show up? Maybe we will see some of that.

I would definitely be all over that and if it were me as a kid who cut her hand my mother would've been all over it. But we also had family who would've been there in a pinch. We had back up plans. Shauna and Deja had none of that.

I just think they were doing ok before she was removed. Removing her led her to depression, which led her to drugs, which led her to rehab, which led her to meeting that piece of crap man. It was a downward spiral. Before that Shauna was a semi ok mom. Deja did ok. She wasn't a foster care case before then. They made it work. It wasn't ideal but it wasn't a "remove the child" type of situation.

I agree with your last paragraph 100%.

 

[cabanafrau]

That's the thing.....they never even showed that part. Did she show up? Maybe we will see some of that.

I would definitely be all over that and if it were me as a kid who cut her hand my mother would've been all over it. But we also had family who would've been there in a pinch. We had back up plans. Shauna and Deja had none of that.

I just think they were doing ok before she was removed. Removing her led her to depression, which led her to drugs, which led her to rehab, which led her to meeting that piece of crap man. It was a downward spiral. Before that Shauna was a semi ok mom. Deja did ok. She wasn't a foster care case before then. They made it work. It wasn't ideal but it wasn't a "remove the child" type of situation.

My point wasn't whether or not she showed up for the hearings. By the way, when they removed Deja when Shauna was incarcerated Shauna would have been transported to any hearings that took place.

My point was, as a mother in Shauna's shoes, would you have surrendered to drugs with your child in foster care, or would you have crawled through glass to make it through every single requirement to make sure the court returned your child to you? Kids aren't just removed to foster care with nothing in place to reunite the family. Hearings are held every quarter for the court to monitor the progress the parent is or is not making on their treatment goals, and for the court to be updated on the children, who are by law wards of the court during the process.

Shauna did what was easiest and most preferable for Shauna without regard to Deja, from birth until current age. That could be given somewhat more of a pass when she was a teen with a baby. Those days are long gone and it's well past the time for Shauna to step up and not claim to be a victim of circumstance.

I cannot accept that leaving a 3 year old home alone wasn't a remove the child type of situation. Deja should have been "removed" at that point and ideally placed with Gigi. Shauna would have been required to find another living situation while she worked through a treatment plan to be reunited with her child.

 

[JenFromCincy]

Was not a fan for a few different reasons. First being that I'm tired of the view that the majority of young mothers resent their kids and want to be out partying. It's a boring, trite stereotype that's not indicative of many of the young mothers I've known in my life. Second, the idea that it's okay for Randall and Beth to keep Deja is lost on me. They own a tenement for crying out loud. Why couldn't they set Shauna and Deja up with a place to live and do something that would truly bless that mother and daughter instead of keeping her. Like because they have money they are somehow more worthy of raising her? So Deja gets to be abandoned yet again when Randall and Beth could have done something to help avoid that circumstance? I think it's straight up vanity to assume after having her in their home for a couple of weeks that they'd be better for her. People make mistakes, even repeatedly, but we're all worthy of redemption.

 

[cabanafrau]

Was not a fan for a few different reasons. First being that I'm tired of the view that the majority of young mothers resent their kids and want to be out partying. It's a boring, trite stereotype that's not indicative of many of the young mothers I've known in my life. Second, the idea that it's okay for Randall and Beth to keep Deja is lost on me. They own a tenement for crying out loud. Why couldn't they set Shauna and Deja up with a place to live and do something that would truly bless that mother and daughter instead of keeping her. Like because they have money they are somehow more worthy of raising her? So Deja gets to be abandoned yet again when Randall and Beth could have done something to help avoid that circumstance? I think it's straight up vanity to assume after having her in their home for a couple of weeks that they'd be better for her. People make mistakes, even repeatedly, but we're all worthy of redemption.

Telling a story about one set of circumstances isn't necessarily to be taken as the story for all. We don't have any idea how the situation will play out beyond where the episode left it. Who's to say that Randall and Beth won't do what you've suggested? I frankly assume that's where we're going at some point.

Child protective matters have to have at their core the protection of children. Sometimes it isn't possible for children to wait indefinitely for the parent(s) to be worthy of redemption, no matter the amount of time and services that are pumped into doing exactly that.

I recently had the extreme displeasure of watching a 4-year effort to reunite a mother with her children come to a heartbreaking end. Mom was given many, many chances for about twice as long as most cases are allowed to go on because she would make some token efforts at complying with the treatment plan and time and time again the argument was that the situation was what it was because of poverty and no family support whatsoever. During the duration of the case mom proceeded to have two more children with two different fathers -- both of whom would not participate in the case or attempt to make their own efforts to take custody of their children because they had outstanding warrants for arrest. About 3 years into the case mom had been provided so much assistance that it enabled her to have proper housing to begin unsupervised overnight visits with the children to facilitate reunification. During the first 48-hour visitation she was allowed with the children she chose for yet another undisclosed boyfriend to stay in the home as well. He sexually assaulted her 3 year old daughter while mom was out buying him beer. The children were removed when the oldest child revealed what had happened when they went back to the foster mother's. The case went back to supervised visits and mom was allowed to continue working toward reunification because she was unaware of the abuse. Only the oldest child knew mom as mother, had a bond with her and loved her. At the age of 6 he understood that loving mom and mom loving him didn't make her a safe person to reveal the boyfriend's abuse.

At a certain point it has to be recognized that a parent's right to redemption has to be trumped by the rights of a child(ren) to safety and stability.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

At a certain point it has to be recognized that a parent's right to redemption has to be trumped by the rights of a child(ren) to safety and stability.

YES!!!!!

 

[JenFromCincy]

Telling a story about one set of circumstances isn't necessarily to be taken as the story for all.

I'm not saying that it should be taken as the story for all, merely that it means to be the most prevalent representation of young mothers in Hollywood storylines.

As for the safety of the child, of course that takes precedence, but Shauna has overcome her addiction, has gotten rid of Lorenzo and merely was in a financial bind. That's hardly the same as the real life circumstance you presented. I'm discussing a fictional television show, and what I disliked about an episode.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm not saying that it should be taken as the story for all, merely that it means to be the most prevalent representation of young mothers in Hollywood storylines.

As for the safety of the child, of course that takes precedence, but Shauna has overcome her addiction, has gotten rid of Lorenzo and merely was in a financial bind. That's hardly the same as the real life circumstance you presented. I'm discussing a fictional television show, and what I disliked about an episode.

Did you forget where she doubled down on the financial bind because she prioritized getting her boyfriend bailed out instead of seeing to it that her child was provided for?

 

[JenFromCincy]

Did you forget where she doubled down on the financial bind because she prioritized getting her boyfriend bailed out instead of seeing to it that her child was provided for?

She had apparently fallen short on rent before and still been allowed to stay. A poor assumption on her part that the grace would be endless, but she was acting on historical precedent not disregard for Deja. My opinion, of course, and again about a fictional show. Not sure why having an opinion warrants such condescension. I'll excuse myself now.

 

[Pugsly]

I would be curious to hear @Pugsly's comments on the situation.

Putting Deja in foster care after she was injured wasn't really true to life from the cases I've seen. In situations I'm familiar with a safety plan would have been developed and monitoring would have happened similar to your suggestion. One of the first criteria the court addresses when reviewing the removal of children from their home is what efforts short of removal were made to allow the children to remain in their home.

As far as your comments about having Deja taken from her "making her" turn to drugs, absolutely not. Think about what would happen if someone removed your child from your care. Would you not be appearing at the court hearing within the next 24 to maybe 36 hours sober? If that court deemed the emergency removal necessary and set the case for a more thorough review in the next 30 days would you remain sober and ready to demonstrate that your child should not be made a temporary court ward? Shauna didn't ever progress beyond the 19, 20 year old who left 3 year old Deja alone in Gigi's apartment to go party -- same mother who prioritized partying with her friends after work on her birthday, leaving her daughter unable to reach her when she injured herself enough to need medical attention.

I expressed above that I would like this fictional story of fictional people resolve with Randall and Beth standing ready to be Deja's safety net while mom makes a serious course correction, or let them be the stable base where Deja can thrive and continue whatever relationship she can with mom to take the best out of the loving bond they have with one another.

Keep in mind, I’m not a caseworker, so not 100% sure of the laws in my state (Texas). My work is purely volunteer in nature and my sole purpose is to be the children’s voice in the courtroom (and at school, for their medical needs, etc.).

I think the situation of Deja cutting her hand on its own would not be something she’d be removed for. However, it’s my understanding that before removal happens, they’ll interview the child (providing the child can verbalize the situation or in the case of very young children, they might have them draw pictures). What’s revealed during the interview (they may interview other people involved with the child - teachers, for example - I’m not sure) will help to determine the severity of the abuse/neglect. Each case is categorized based on the severity of the abuse/neglect, resulting in how to approach the case; maybe CPS will set up family based services for the parent (may include parenting classes, therapy, etc.) or they remove the child. That hierarchy can also lead to whether that child gets removed right away (emergency removal) or if they will hold a hearing in front of a judge before they remove them. If they’re removing the child, they’ll try to find a family member who can take them in. If not, they’ll try foster care. And if they can’t find a foster family that is the best match for the child, then they could get placed in a shelter or a group home.

Some examples I’ve seen:
- mom is not providing enough food for the child - family-based services (teaching her how to cook, helping her with food assistance)
- CPS gets called back to the same house where mom was not providing enough food for the child and mom is not doing much better after going through family-based services - child is placed outside the home (with a relative, foster family, or in a shelter or group home)
- mom ties the toddler up outside on a chain like a dog while she’s out partying - immediate removal without judges consent

I agree that having Deja taken wouldn’t necessarily result in Shauna turning to drugs. If there are drugs involved, usually that’s been an ongoing issue - something already in play when CPS steps in; sometimes the parents can kick it, and sometimes (most times?) they can’t.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I really enjoyed this episode. I liked learning Deja's back story.

 

[Lori74]

who did jack hit in the montage?

 

[anniemae]

who did jack hit in the montage?

I think it was his dad. The dad was abusive to him and his brother, if I recall correctly. I think we are going to get into Jack's childhood a bit.

 

[Pembo]

This show is definitely the LONGEST hour of TV. It is so S L O W. I'll watch the season finale but after that I'm out.