Would you be mad? Cancelling via text message... Vacation plans

[Sandeep1]

The text thing is silly in my mind though. Texting is a perfectly normal and fine means of communication.

Texting isn't appropriate for everything. For example, I wouldn't text my brother, "Hey mom died." But I agree it's fine for the situation as described in the OP.

 

[Floridaman999]

My wife and I have gotten our last 2 dogs on a whim. The breeder we've gotten all of our dogs from posted pics of our last 2 because they were the last of a litter that hadn't been sold yet. We ended up getting them about a year apart, but we decided and picked them up all within about 3 to 4 hours time. I'm not saying this is an excuse for what has happened here, but I will say that I can imagine someone getting a dog on a whim because I've done it twice now.

 

[Sandeep1]

I kind of understand the dog thing, but I do take pet ownership seriously. When we decided to get a dog, I said we’d get the perfect dog that came to us. A rescue was the only option, and a friend who fostered puppies alerted me when she had the perfect dog for our family. When she was up for adoption, we got her, and there would be no way I’d board her, since most of her life was in a cage in a shelter.

I understand where you're coming from but the friend made a commitment to the OP. Plans were lined up. I don't think fostering a dog qualifies as a valid reason to break that commitment. There will be more dogs in the future that really need a good home.

 

[Hikergirl]

We got our dog on a whim- right before a July 4th get together that we were travelling too.
We still went and brought our dog.

 

[cluvsdisney]

Since it's a pattern, I would be half mad at them for cancelling again and half mad at myself for agreeing to it in the first place. Since you are talkers and not texters, it's weird that she didn't call but I suppose it's because she knows what she did was really crappy. They didn't need to get a dog this week. If it was something they knew could possibly happen....she should have given you a heads up.

I certainly wouldn't be making plans like this with them ever again. But enjoy the long holiday weekend with your husband.

 

[soccerdad72]

I got a headache trying to follow the OP

Going to guess that yes, you have the right to be mad.

 

[MrsDuck]

I wouldn't make plans like this with them again. I'd probably be relieved that they cancelled and would use the time hubby took off to go on a mini-trip or do something fun together. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, honestly.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't understand the part about "I thought you would be I tears". Is there any possibility that she wasn't completely serious? I mean the weird addition of being in tears and you say text isn't your normal form of communication.

Were they going to be staying at your house? Or if ya'll were going away, do you have dogs that you board? Could she have been fishing for an offer to bring the dog or to see if she could board her dog with yours?

I just try to figure out why when people do things differently than their normal ways. (the texting) or say things that don't sound right (the tears).

 

[cabanafrau]

Deferring to text message instead of the normal phone call was nothing more than an attempt to control the situation in case OP pushed back. The second text doubled down on the attempt to draw OP to either react angrily, therefore making the friend the victim of the situation; or as a prompt for OP to offer up understanding and dismiss any idea that there was any reason to be upset. Silence on the subject or an entirely noncommittal response is the only way to go.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I don't understand the part about "I thought you would be I tears". Is there any possibility that she wasn't completely serious? I mean the weird addition of being in tears and you say text isn't your normal form of communication.

Were they going to be staying at your house? Or if ya'll were going away, do you have dogs that you board? Could she have been fishing for an offer to bring the dog or to see if she could board her dog with yours?

I just try to figure out why when people do things differently than their normal ways. (the texting) or say things that don't sound right (the tears).

Agree. It sounds like the friend was being a bit passive-aggressive here. Was she wanting OP to be upset? If so, kudos to the OP for not engaging. I guess I'd be irked, but as there weren't non-refundable activities involved, I wouldn't hold it against them long-term.

I have a close friend in FL and seldom have the chance to visit her. I was there for a conference and extended my stay by a few days so that we could visit (it had been over 10 years since we'd seen each other) -- I paid out of pocket for the extra hotel nights and took vacation days from the office for it. I received a text from her while at the conference that her mother in Indiana had one of her dogs get loose and she was flying to Indiana to help her search, so we couldn't get together. I didn't deem that a particularly good reason to me, but everybody's priorities are different. We're still close friends, and we call and message on Facebook -- but I haven't made any effort to see her going forward.

 

[Klayfish]

I’m not being snarky here, but if you don’t travel with friends or family, who do you travel with? I have done solo vacations, but it’s always more fun when I have someone with me.

I totally agree with you about not texting important conversations.

Ah yes, sorry, guess that didn't come across well.

I meant extended family...parents, siblings, cousins, great nephews twice removed.

I will travel with DW and kids only.

 

[rajak73]

I wouldn't necessarily be mad, I would have texted back the same as you, "Ok" and that's it, I would never plan anything with them again, you know, "well sorry we already have plans for the next 6 months" It seems like more of a pattern than anything else, "yes, let's plan so I can back out"

Never travel with friends or family.

I don't know, we spent over 2 weeks last year with the DS and DDIL and the grandkids at WDW. Had a blast!

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I wouldn't be mad unless they talked me out of somewhere I really wanted to go into somewhere somewhat less. I'd also be mad if I were out money because of the cancellation.

That said any other plans we'd either be busy or would be on the nature well we're going to X. If you'd like to book too maybe we could meet up.

 

[gharter]

Any response you give is not going to help.
I would not end the friendship, but would never plan another vacation with them.
What isn't clear, is if the friends were coming to their house to stay and just doing local things, or if they were all going somewhere else to stay.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I don't know, we spent over 2 weeks last year with the DS and DDIL and the grandkids at WDW. Had a blast!

Same here. We go to WDW with family quite a bit. Blast.

 

[MGMmjl]

I have one good friend that I used to make a lot of plans with, and it seemed like something always came up and he cancelled the plans. But he is still someone I liked talking to, so I learned to just talk with him, and no longer make any plans.

It seems like there are some friends that are good just to talk to, and then other friends that are good to hang out with and make a lot of plans with. I think there are good qualities to both sets of friends.

That being said, to the OP, I would be disappointed that the plans were cancelled, but not surprised given previous experiences.

 

[Disneylover99]

I wouldn’t be bothered at all with the cancellation and it wouldn’t matter if it was a phone call or text.
That’s just me. Those kind of things don’t phase me.

 

[piccolopat]

I would be annoyed and would seriously think twice before extending an invitation to travel again. I think I might respond back with something like "No worries. We know things can come up that can change plans. While we would have loved to have you join us, we'll make the best of our weekend away and see you soon".

 

[Nancyg56]

I might agree with the plenty of notice idea if this hadn't been a repeated pattern. The real clue is in the subsequent text essentially demanding OP to be emotionally distraught over the situation. Really, you're canceling plans with good friends (yet again) because you've gotten a dog, something your family is presumably happy about, yet OP should be in tears of disappointment? That's some deep, caring friendship right there.

That's the part that bothered me as well. I would not make plans with the couple again, but I would not be upset that they canceled over a commitment to a new pet. I would be cranky that the friend wanted an emotional response from me. I would have texted a simple Okay and let it go. I would refuse to respond to the question regarding my response.

I understand where you're coming from but the friend made a commitment to the OP. Plans were lined up. I don't think fostering a dog qualifies as a valid reason to break that commitment. There will be more dogs in the future that really need a good home.

I think it does qualify, however I would also refuse to make plans with this couple again. The medical emergency I get. The sulking husband over his DR DD? No. At this point it wouldn't matter to me why they canceled. They seem to make plans on a whim and cancel at will. I will bet the dog was a whim as well, and IMO this does not bode well for the pooch.

 

[Darcy03231]

I would be annoyed and wouldn't make any more plans with them. For this trip I'd just plan something fun for DH and I to do.

We've actually had the same situation with DH's daughter. She's canceled at the last minute for three family vacations (a cruise, Costa Rica for her brother's wedding and Universal) at the last minute and we've lost money. Going forward we're not including her anymore. If she can make it at the last minute and there's a room available that we can get at a decent price she can go. If not, oh well. She's burned us too many times.