Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

[TipsyTraveler]

I personally knew a woman who died of pregnancy complications. She was 26 years old, an athlete, and it was her second pregnancy. She left behind her husband and her two year old son.

 

[Hrhpd]

I'm not aware of this. Source?

http://time.com/5461616/abortions-lowest-rate-cdc/
and the actual CDC report that the Time Magazine article was based on:
https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/ss/ss6713a1.htm?s_cid=ss6713a1_w

I accept that "back in the day" -- such an exact term -- pregnancy was super dangerous, and many women died. However, I personally know no one and have never heard of anyone in real life who died as a result of pregnancy or delivery. Oh, I know people who've had horrible-bad deliveries, but I know no of no mothers who have literally died.

The worst things I personally know: My cousin went back to work too soon after delivery, hemmoraged, and put herself back in the hospital. My sister was in labor for three grueling days -- don't ask why she didn't opt for a C-section; I don't know. That's kinda it for bad tales from my "I really know them" storybook.

Does anyone here know anyone IN REAL LIFE who died in modern times -- say, the last 50 years? -- as a result of pregnancy or delivery?

yes, I know a family that lost their mother to child birth

The US has the "highest rate of maternal mortality in the industrialized world." In the United States, thematernal death rate averaged 9.1 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births during the years 1979–1986, but then rose rapidly to 14 per 100,000 in 2000 and 17.8 per 100,000 in 2009.
https://www.npr.org/2017/05/12/5280...ate-of-maternal-deaths-in-the-developed-world
​

A husband absolutely should "get a voice" in his wife's decision to have a tubal ligation ... and she should "get a voice" in whether he has a vasectomy. When you marry, you become one. You agree to share all decisions ... forever. This comes with lots of wonderful benefits, but you also voluntarily give yourself and a portion of your freedom to your chosen spouse.

That is purely your own opinion on how marriages should work. Everyone is entitled to their own definition of what their marriage means to them. Your opinion or any one else's should never be allowed to dictate someone else's life.

I personally never agreed to give any of my freedom to my chosen spouse. We discuss all major decisions but when it comes to my health and my body, I will take his input into big consideration, the final decision about me is mine and mine alone to make. My husband fully agrees with me. We have made it 36 years, so I think we are good on the idea of commitment. We just have a different definition of our marriage than you chose for yourself.

Disagree. When you marry, you agree to share your lives together ... while he could technically go procreate with someone else, that wouldn't really work in practice.

Again pure opinion. There are many types of marriages, for instance some couples like open marriages. Good friends of ours are swingers and they are celebrating 30 years of blissful marriage.

And why couldn't procreating with someone else work? Are you saying infertile couples who use a surrogate are not properly married?

 

[MrsPete]

I personally knew a woman who died of pregnancy complications. She was 26 years old, an athlete, and it was her second pregnancy. She left behind her husband and her two year old son.

Okay, we have one personal story.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So approximately 280 American woman die because of pregnancy /delivery UNAVOIDABLY every year. I know, I know, that's serious to their families, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to the number of people who give birth without complications.

I think the point was there are still deaths occuring that can be avoided. Sometimes it's not about the overall number but rather what we can do to help reduce the avoidable ones. I'd like to think most people would want to do what we can to prevent deaths when possible and feasible.

This still isn't a personal "I knew someone myself" story. What was the point again? I think it was, Pregnancy can be difficult, but the chances of dying from the condition are slim.

You know I was going to post a comment (as I do know someone who just about died because of a heart condition created due to pregnancy but that won't work for you I know) but then again it looks like you won't be satisfied by anything other than what your opinion on the matter is. My mistake for thinking you were open to discussion on the death with pregnancy and delivery (and the time after). And no worries we don't need to go back and forth on this.

 

[Hrhpd]

Okay, we have one personal story.

Maternal Mortality Is Rising in the U.S. As It Declines Elsewhere
Deaths per 100,000 live births

 

[Searc]

luvsJack, I think that you might be one of those people who believe that if things don't happen in your little world, that they don't happen anywhere.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politic...nfronts-protesters-planned-parenthood/589174/

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-abortion-clinics-face-surge-of-trespassing-and-blockades/

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...7276A6887122B082ED417276A6887122B08&FORM=VIRE

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...240217DE480C40120E2D240217DE480C&&FORM=VDRVRV

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...98C81DBD56A7EBBD46CF98C81DBD56A7&&FORM=VDRVRV


I was one of those women who had to march past the protestors on my way into PP, at 16, to get birth control.

I was one of those women who had to march past the protestors on my way into PP, at the age of 21, to have an abortion.

I was one of those women who had to march past the protestors on my way into PP, from the age of 30 to 35 (ish) to escort frightened and angry young women into the clinics for whatever reason they were there.

I don't have the right to tell you to cut your hair, lose 20 pounds, get botox, use an IUD instead of the rhythm method, have your extra 11th toe removed, or any thing else. You don't have the right to tell me what to do with my body. Until you are living in my skin, you have zero business telling me what to do.

A MEN

 

[Southernmiss]

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Newborn daughter of surgeon who died in labor dies

DUSTIN BARNES | THE (JACKSON, MISS.) CLARION-LEDGER | 9:54 pm EDT June 9, 2016

A community is grieving as the newborn daughter of a beloved Mississippi surgeon passed away just one week after her mother died during childbirth.



JACKSON, Miss. — The newborn daughter of a beloved Mississippi surgeon died Wednesday, one week after her mother died during childbirth.


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[Disneylover99]

Okay, we have one personal story.

A very close friend of mine died in childbirth. I still can’t believe it. I received her shower thank you the day after her funeral. It’s the saddest death I’ve ever experienced.

A few years before that, someone I worked with died in childbirth.

Unfortunately, it happens.

Editing to add, the speech/language pathologist at my school passed away several years ago due to complications of childbirth. I just remembered that. So tragic.

 

[Southernmiss]

Subscribe
Newborn daughter of surgeon who died in labor dies

DUSTIN BARNES | THE (JACKSON, MISS.) CLARION-LEDGER | 9:54 pm EDT June 9, 2016

A community is grieving as the newborn daughter of a beloved Mississippi surgeon passed away just one week after her mother died during childbirth.



JACKSON, Miss. — The newborn daughter of a beloved Mississippi surgeon died Wednesday, one week after her mother died during childbirth.


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My niece almost died after her daughter was born 2 years ago.

Uncontrollable high blood pressure. Took her a year and a half to get it under control.

She had to quit teaching high school.

Just went back in December to a private, not public school, for less stress.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Feminist
Women aren't defective men

 

[MrsPete]

http://time.com/5461616/abortions-lowest-rate-cdc/
and the actual CDC report that the Time Magazine article was based on:
https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/ss/ss6713a1.htm?s_cid=ss6713a1_w

These two articles say that abortions are decreasing in number (which is fairly common knowledge and not in question), but the articles do not back up your comment that most abortions are a result of medical conditions -- either the child's or the mother's. The articles do not address reasons for /causes for abortions at all.

I personally never agreed to give any of my freedom to my chosen spouse ...
And why couldn't procreating with someone else work? Are you saying infertile couples who use a surrogate are not properly married?

You didn't promise to forsake all others? You didn't pledge your troth? You didn't promise to care for one another in sickness and in health? You didn't promise 'til death do us part? Those are promises that mean you have security in one another ... but they are promises that do close off other avenues. Your spouse isn't going to be happy if you decide you want to date someone else (while remaining married to him or her). Take away personal promises; if you're legally married, you're governed by certain laws ... his debts are your responsibility, for example. Community property, depending upon your state.

Okay, I can see that a couple who wanted more children might opt for a surrogate, but that's not a common thing at all. If you trust Google, only 750 per year. I think it's safe to assume that the vast, vast majority of Americans who have sterilization surgery (male or female) do so because they don't want more children ... not because they don't personally want to bear the children.

I think the point was there are still deaths occuring that can be avoided. Sometimes it's not about the overall number but rather what we can do to help reduce the avoidable ones. I'd like to think most people would want to do what we can to prevent deaths when possible and feasible.

You know I was going to post a comment (as I do know someone who just about died because of a heart condition created due to pregnancy but that won't work for you I know) but then again it looks like you won't be satisfied by anything other than what your opinion on the matter is. My mistake for thinking you were open to discussion on the death with pregnancy and delivery (and the time after). And no worries we don't need to go back and forth on this.

What I'm looking for is how frequent this issue is -- who wins? Difficult pregnancy or modern medicine? Your friend did live ... a win for modern medicine.

 

[kiddo76]

I don't personally know anyone who has died from AIDS or an opioid overdose, but that doesn't mean such a death is not a possibility.

My aunt actually did die after miscarrying 40 years ago, but they were able to revive her. Luckily she lived very close to a very good hospital. Does that count? Or was that too long ago/it doesn't count because she didn't stay dead.

 

[cinnaminny]

This is a perfect example of toxic neofeminism.

What is it called when men talk about women as a group in a negative way? Does it even have a name? lol

I personally knew a woman who died of pregnancy complications. She was 26 years old, an athlete, and it was her second pregnancy. She left behind her husband and her two year old son.

I don't think people realize how often this happens in the United States. My pregnancy before my last I started getting very sick, I thought it was just long lasting morning sickness. My doctor went on vacation when I started getting really sick and nervous. Turns out my fetus had died about four weeks earlier at the 4 month mark (I found out at the 5 month mark) I had placenta previa so it would not abort itself. I had to have a D&E (late abortion) to remove it. Who even knows what would have happened to me if I didn't have insurance.

Edit to add, I can just imagine living in some state where they are looking at miscarriages to see if the women caused anything to happen. OMG what a nightmare.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't personally know anyone who has died from AIDS or an opioid overdose, but that doesn't mean such a death is not a possibility.

My aunt actually did die after miscarrying 40 years ago, but they were able to revive her. Luckily she lived very close to a very good hospital. Does that count? Or was that too long ago/it doesn't count because she didn't stay dead.

I know multiple people who have died of AIDS and overdoes ... not sure whether they were opiods or not.

40 years ago is kinda the edge of "modern medicine", but she did live -- backing up my hypothesis that women don't die in childbirth on a regular basis.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think people realize how often this happens in the United States.

That's what I'm trying to gauge. Nothing more, nothing less -- I'm not taking it personally, but I think some posters are.

 

[ReneeA]

When I was a bedside RN in the ICU, I took care of several postpartum women who coded during childbirth and then went on to die.

I've also taken care of many more who coded, were revived and then lived the rest of their lives trached to a ventilator in horrible nursing homes.

It happens...much too frequently in the US, especially in those populations that have increased rates of complications and mortality. We know there are problems and issues, yet we continue to stick our heads in the sand and pretend we are not one of the worst first World countries in mortality rates for pregnant and postpartum women.

Whenever there was a code called in the birthing center, all the ICU nurses would want to cry because it's a horrible traumatizing event for the patient, family, AND the entire staff caring for them

 

[MrsPete]

I've also taken care of many more who coded, were revived and then lived the rest of their lives trached to a ventilator in horrible nursing homes.

Now that sounds worse than dying in childbirth.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

What is it called when men talk about women as a group in a negative way? Does it even have a name? lol

Toxic masculinity.

A byproduct of misogyny.

 

[Hrhpd]

You didn't promise to forsake all others? You didn't pledge your troth? You didn't promise to care for one another in sickness and in health? You didn't promise 'til death do us part? Those are promises that mean you have security in one another ... but they are promises that do close off other avenues.

Nowhere in our vows does it say that I give my freedom to my husband. We also omitted any reference to "obey" or "till death do us part" in our vows. As I said, has worked for us for 36 years, soon to be 37.

My body, my choices. We respect each other enough that we trust each other's judgement to make the right decisions for ourselves. I don't need anyone to give me permission for anything. I am my own boss, make my own decisions. For better or worse and all that.

You obviously have a different definition for your marriage. Which is absolutely your right. But don't try to push your definition on my very successful marriage. My marriage would not be successful if I thought I needed "permission" from a spouse to do anything. Discussion yes, input absolutely and would be taken into serious consideration and probably listened to, but permission? Absolutely not.

 

[llane]

That's what I'm trying to gauge.

What number would you gauge acceptable?