Resort pool etiquette: other parents unsafe children

[marikujawa]

This thread is hilarious. If I misbehaved as a child to the extent that an adult was prompted to intervene and correct my behavior, the LAST PERSON on God’s green earth I would have told about it was my mother!

 

[Disneypro1]

No clue what the rule is but no way do I speak in any manner to a stranger's kids. I go get a lifeguard. They will deal with it. They have authority in these cases not a random guest. I don't care what they are doing. It's not my place as a random stranger to repremend a stranger

Agreed. The best advice I ever got was. Stay in ones lane. Go get someone with authority over a given situation and be done with it.

 

[Disneypro1]

I’ll also add that. If a kid was actually picking on mine. Then yes. I’d do something. Preferable that my kid takes care of himself or herself and fights back. But other than that. I just think horseplay that may seem “unsafe”. Meh. Kids will survive. Younger parents want the kids in a bubble. Life doesn’t work that way. Better to lean early.

 

[cobright]

And in the apparent physical absence of any parent, what's wrong with sounding fatherly?

As a father, I would say that the last thing I would ever wish is to merely sound fatherly. And at best, that's all the OP could do.

My kids behave themselves, first because it's the right thing to do, and second because they know that nearly every awesome thing they enjoy in life (internet connection, cellphone, vacations, etc...) happens because I think they are good kids who deserve it. Or maybe that order is backwards. I don't really care. Point is, sounding fatherly would be worthless without the ability to click a button and their data stream goes Amish.

Empty threats are worse than nothing at all.

 

[Calee]

And in the apparent physical absence of any parent, what's wrong with sounding fatherly?

You are not their father. You do not have the right or the means to carry out your threatened removal of them. Invoking a consequence on strangers children is over the line.

 

[Childs1stTime2Disney]

You are not their father. You do not have the right or the means to carry out your threatened removal of them. Invoking a consequence on strangers children is over the line.

Exactly. This isn't your sibling's child to act fatherly towards in their absence. It's a total stranger on vacation!

 

[erc]

This thread is hilarious. If I misbehaved as a child to the extent that an adult was prompted to intervene and correct my behavior, the LAST PERSON on God’s green earth I would have told about it was my mother!

Hah. I was thinking that. Let's see 1980. A strange father is yelling at me for being a little pr*ck. I'm going to get the belt if my parents see this. I better just do what this guy says and hope my parents are not seeing or hearing any of this. . It is a different age for sure.

 

[Ninja Mom]

Reading this thread is like watching a Brady Bunch episode. Everyone has their own angle. We need Alice to figure out the truth and bring everyone back to their senses.

~NM
PS. Everyone reading this thread thinks that they are Alice.
Nope.
Not even close.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You are not their father. You do not have the right or the means to carry out your threatened removal of them. Invoking a consequence on strangers children is over the line.

Where did OP threaten to remove the boys, or even threaten them? "You're done here, or I will get a lifeguard" is, sure, an ultimatum - following several unsuccessful verbal attempts by others to simply get the boys to behave considerately.

 

[Calee]

Where did OP threaten to remove the boys, or even threaten them? "You're done here, or I will get a lifeguard" is, sure, an ultimatum - following several unsuccessful verbal attempts by others to simply get the boys to behave considerately.

Him making the executive decision of "you're done here" was not his place nor his right.

Part of why if the believed things were out of hand and he should have gotten a guard or removed himself, is that in some cases, as shown on this thread, much is in the eye of the beholder. At times here the children have been called up to 14 years old, when it seems they could be as young as 5-8. To a man with a toddler and no experience with older children, he could be wrong and over estimating. Also much of the behavior does not sound actually truly *dangerous*. Just annoying and perhaps too much for a toddler. Again, eye of the beholder. There *was* an adult in the area, however OP didnt approve of how she was supervising. Again, eye of the beholder.

If he was worried about his child (let's not pretend here that he was concerned about these other kids safety) he should have removed her and gone for a neutral party. No one was about to drown or get seriously injured. If he was truly concerned that his child was in true danger, he would have scooped her up and left. That's not what this was.

 

[Calee]

I will say though that when I look at pictures of the area, it does appear to have some standing water, similar to the pirate splash pad at CBR which DOES have a lifeguard. I am surprised, and think it is probably not wise, that there is not a lifeguard stationed in there and that IS something that I would contact Disney Guest Services about if I was OP or any other guest there.

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

Unfortunately, this is a lose-lose situation. Let's run the scenario the way they want it to be run. You say nothing, remote your child, and go find a CM. CM arrives. Talks to children. "Are you behaving and being safe?" "Yes we are." "OK, make sure you do." Kids go back to being unsafe within 5 minutes.

Worse: Other mom rushes in. Figures out you must have been the one to report them. Confrontation ensues. "Why did you report my kids?"

Lifeguards don't make routine welfare checks on the playgrounds and it's highly likely the behavior won't stop unless the lifeguard sticks around.

That is exactly what I was thinking about. Either way, the parent could easily get upset at me. Obviously, I have more information now. She could come at me enraged because I'm a tattle tale.

But you had no authority in the situation to make the children leave so it really would have been best to let the lifeguard handle the situation. Better luck next time!

Originally, My thought was that as an adult I have implicit authority over young kids behaving in what I believe to be an unsafe manner. At his point, I'm not even sure what I believe. Maybe I'll ask my lawyer. There is WAY too much info to consider and make an informed decision in a particular moment.

I think its pretty far fetched that at a public pool area with dozens of other people around a child could get away with saying an adult put hands on them when that is not the case. I don't think we need to live our lives worried about what someone might say. anyone could accuse me of anything at any time. Doesn't mean its credible.

I think it's definitely worth the chance of stepping in if the child's behavior is putting others at risk. I would feel pretty rotten if I sat there and did nothing and another child got seriously hurt.

exactly, I'm always going to error on the side of high probability of causing a problem with low consequences vs. a low chance of a problem with massive consequences.

In other words, I'd feel really bad if I took no action and the unlikely scenario where my daughter is hurt comes to pass.

Also...
One boy was borderline 48" and two appeared to be over 48" ... how much over 48"? Two inches over? Four? Six?
Looking at an average height to age chart ... 48" is the average height for 7 year old boys. 8 year old boys average 50 inches. 9 yr olds run 52.4". At 10, most boys are about 54.5"

So most likely we're talking about a 7 year old and two 8 or 9 year olds?
...

What was the risk? That she would slide into 3 other kids? You know this happens every day on every playground without comment.

What types of scenarios were you imagining would happen? What did you fear those three 3rd and 4rth graders would do in that busy resort playground between the time your toddler crashed into them and you arriving to retrieve her?

• As I have stated. This is a tube slide. She could be come stuck inside because the boys are blocking her path. At this point I have no recourse to remove her, because it's a tube slide. She could potentially drown in this scenario. In addition, I have no idea the boys are even stuck in there, because I can't see them. They are in the curve.
• Older kids are sprinting. If one slips and falls, they could cause serious damage to my daughter, if they fall on her. This is obvious. It's the entire reason we don't run around pool. The area is quite slippery, being a splash pad.
• 3 boys worth of weight, sliding down the slide and hitting my daughter before he has a chance to exit. Probably not good for her well being.
• Running past my daughter on the stairs. One false move and they could easily cause her to lose her balance. From there, it's easy to imagine her stricking her head on the stairs. Obviously, no one should be running up stairs, especially ones that are wet and certainly not to pass a young child.

Yes exactly! How old were these kids?My Kindergartner is 5 and is almost 48" (and most of his class is around the same height or taller). He is extremely gentle and would never act roughly around little kids, but lots of kids do. We always try and avoid the rough kids, if possible (go get a lifeguard). ..but it seems like these were younger kids to begin with and are within their right to play in the kids water area. My son will be 6 on our summer trip, and we plan on playing in the kids area with his 2 year old sister.

I never stated what there actual ages are. All I could do was guess. Based on this thread, it seems my initial guess was wrong. That said, the age feels close to irrelevant in my mind. The question is the size/behavior.

This thread is hilarious. If I misbehaved as a child to the extent that an adult was prompted to intervene and correct my behavior, the LAST PERSON on God’s green earth I would have told about it was my mother!

This applies in my mind too. I would have considered myself lucky my parents weren't aware and tried to behave better.

You are not their father. You do not have the right or the means to carry out your threatened removal of them. Invoking a consequence on strangers children is over the line.

I didn't threaten them. I didn't intend to remove them. They would be removing themselves. It's funny because I'm getting responses from people saying I'm 100% correct all the way to this sort of response. How is a reasonable person supposed to know how to act?

for reference, a threat is when you promise hostile action if a condition is not met. Surely, getting the lifeguard is not considered hostile, considering it seems to be the prescribed action by Disney.

 

[TaraWasHere]

The only person I personally see as truly being in the wrong here is the mother of the children in question. I can't honestly say I wouldn't be angry if someone yelled at my child for their behavior and frightened them, but neither do I think perfect strangers should have to sit idly by while my child runs wildly around disrupting their bought and paid for vacation. As a mother I would have been irritated at the OP for yelling at my child, but I would be more inclined to apologize for putting him in that situation to begin with. I would have been embarassed to go get a lifeguard...

 

[Childs1stTime2Disney]

exactly, I'm always going to error on the side of high probability of causing a problem with low consequences vs. a low chance of a problem with massive consequences.

In other words, I'd feel really bad if I took no action and the unlikely scenario where my daughter is hurt comes to pass.

If you truly believed your child was unsafe due to these children, your absolute best bet would have been just to remove your child and get the proper pool authorities. It's not your job to control other's children, since you aren't a staff member on duty for the resort. I have been in this situation so many times and I remove my child each time. It totally is unfair and not right that my child would have to be removed, BUT, there are too many other variables to chance leaving my child in this situation, since you cannot control the actions of others.

 

[Childs1stTime2Disney]

The only person I personally see as truly being in the wrong here is the mother of the children in question. I can't honestly say I wouldn't be angry if someone yelled at my child for their behavior and frightened them, but neither do I think perfect strangers should have to sit idly by while my child runs wildly around disrupting their bought and paid for vacation. As a mother I would have been irritated at the OP for yelling at my child, but I would be more inclined to apologize for putting him in that situation to begin with. I would have been embarassed to go get a lifeguard...

Unfortunately this isn't how most people, especially ones who allow their children in a space that isn't for them, and in there without them, would likely react.

 

[Calee]

That is exactly what I was thinking about. Either way, the parent could easily get upset at me. Obviously, I have more information now. She could come at me enraged because I'm a tattle tale.



Originally, My thought was that as an adult I have implicit authority over young kids behaving in what I believe to be an unsafe manner. At his point, I'm not even sure what I believe. Maybe I'll ask my lawyer. There is WAY too much info to consider and make an informed decision in a particular moment.


exactly, I'm always going to error on the side of high probability of causing a problem with low consequences vs. a low chance of a problem with massive consequences.

In other words, I'd feel really bad if I took no action and the unlikely scenario where my daughter is hurt comes to pass.

• As I have stated. This is a tube slide. She could be come stuck inside because the boys are blocking her path. At this point I have no recourse to remove her, because it's a tube slide. She could potentially drown in this scenario. In addition, I have no idea the boys are even stuck in there, because I can't see them. They are in the curve.
• Older kids are sprinting. If one slips and falls, they could cause serious damage to my daughter, if they fall on her. This is obvious. It's the entire reason we don't run around pool. The area is quite slippery, being a splash pad.
• 3 boys worth of weight, sliding down the slide and hitting my daughter before he has a chance to exit. Probably not good for her well being.
• Running past my daughter on the stairs. One false move and they could easily cause her to lose her balance. From there, it's easy to imagine her stricking her head on the stairs. Obviously, no one should be running up stairs, especially ones that are wet and certainly not to pass a young child.

I never stated what there actual ages are. All I could do was guess. Based on this thread, it seems my initial guess was wrong. That said, the age feels close to irrelevant in my mind. The question is the size/behavior.


This applies in my mind too. I would have considered myself lucky my parents weren't aware and tried to behave better.


I didn't threaten them. I didn't intend to remove them. They would be removing themselves. It's funny because I'm getting responses from people saying I'm 100% correct all the way to this sort of response. How is a reasonable person supposed to know how to act?

for reference, a threat is when you promise hostile action if a condition is not met. Surely, getting the lifeguard is not considered hostile, considering it seems to be the prescribed action by Disney.

The lifeguard who was present at the time told you what to do next time. I would take that as your answer as to how you should act next time.

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

If you truly believed your child was unsafe due to these children, your absolute best bet would have been just to remove your child and get the proper pool authorities. It's not your job to control other's children, since you aren't a staff member on duty for the resort. I have been in this situation so many times and I remove my child each time. It totally is unfair and not right that my child would have to be removed, BUT, there are too many other variables to chance leaving my child in this situation, since you cannot control the actions of others.

Yes, I've stated that moving forward I would likely do exactly as you suggested. I'll take the guaranteed minor inconvenience over small risk of injury any day. I probably should edit the OP at some point soon here to indicate that. I realize the thread had gotten so large, that people may easily miss the part where I've taken the advice given a very long time ago.

 

[TaraWasHere]

Unfortunately this isn't how most people, especially ones who allow their children in a space that isn't for them, and in there without them, would likely react.

I know. To many times have I had to bite my lip and turn my head as some random kid comes running through to pool kicking my shoes halfway across the area without so much as looking back and saying sorry. I've had to grab my toddler and pull her out of the way of a bunch of kids playing "tag" in the pool area, and had more than one occasion when I really "wanted" to say something but didn't. This is why I 100% say it's the fault of their mother, not the op. People don't react to situations they are not placed in to begin with.

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

Does anyone know how to contact the Riviera directly? I went to Disney's site and nothing on the contact us seemed appropriate.

 

[P'colaBeachBum]

Does anyone know how to contact the Riviera directly? I went to Disney's site and nothing on the contact us seemed appropriate.

You may have to contact the DVC guest services or guest.services@disneyworld.com

I'm surprised no one has asked the following questions..

Did the Mother of the boys drop her kids off there? If she did and saw you there and no lifeguard she left you as the responsible adult and you acted as such...imo.

If she did not drop them off did she ever check on the boys? If not, she left them there without knowing if they were being supervised by a responsible person or if they were behaving.

Again, I see this all to often, especially at WDW. She forgot to be the parent and left that up to others...imho. Done.