awkward situation: no shoes at baby shower

[Kae]

We aren't a shoes off house and neither are any of my Family or friends.

 

[fly girl]

There’s 4 feet of snow out there. People aren’t wandering to other houses in flip flops.
Unless you carry extra shoes with you would be walking in the house with wet clunky boots.
Which granted us a thing. Use to carry dress shoes to bars and such so I can see it doing so for a party.

not limited to Canadians. I’m sure North Dakota and Minnesota with similar climates would be the same,

I never mentioned flip flops, I have no idea where that’s coming from.

I grew up in Michigan, we have our fair share of snow! Never required shoe removal on arrival. If hosting a party you shoveled the walkway. And if it was snowing you tapped your shoes as you walked in on side of door and wiped on doormat.

I’m not saying what you do is wrong (I totally get it!) it’s just not how it’s done here. It’s not a “given” that you’ll have to remove shoes, so if you’re hosting a party and would like that you should inform guests beforehand.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Also for those who wears shoes all day do you also wear socks?
And do you put shoes on from the minute you wake up?
Do you change shoes when you leave the house?
Do you match your outfit around the house?

 

[CdnCarrie]

I never mentioned flip flops, I have no idea where that’s coming from.

I grew up in Michigan, we have our fair share of snow! Never required shoe removal on arrival. If hosting a party you shoveled the walkway. And if it was snowing you tapped your shoes as you walked in on side of door and wiped on doormat.

So people wear their winter boots into the house? Interesting.
Never saw that done here.
we just take off our boots and walk in our socks when invited places.
I’ve worn my boots all day at work when I forgot shoes and it got too hot. Can’t imagine wearing them at a party.
eta - I don’t go to many parties just homes of families and close friends.
I do see wearing dress shoes if dressed up.

 

[ronandannette]

Yes. Definitely a regional difference. Honestly, I knew about Asian cultures and shoe removal, but I had no idea Canadians fell into that category too. Learn something new everyday!

But if you came to a Baby Shower in the midwest hosted by yours truly anytime of the year if you wanted to keep your shoes on, you could.

I think it's really more an issue of practicality. For 5 or more months of the year the weather conditions are snowy. You wouldn't think of tracking snow through your house, or wearing snow boots inside, because they're not that comfortable.

If you came to a baby shower at my house in Calgary anytime from October to May, you wouldn't need to be asked to take your snowy shoes off; you'd just do it.

 

[DLgal]

We bring in all the groceries to the front entrance than take off our shoes and carry bags through the house.

I mean, that's what I do on rainy days. No snow or mud here, but I just offload the groceries and drop the bags just inside the door and then take them to the kitchen after I've removed my shoes and changed into my "house crocs."

 

[ronandannette]

As you walked into the shower, there was just a pile of shoes right at the door. It was like a fun game trying to find your pair when you left! Each time someone entered, the shoes got kicked around. I'd just really appreciate a heads-up if I'm going to a shoe-less party! (I'd brings some fancy ballet slippers!)

Oh, well of course there was. Another Canadian cultural thing is knowing that the first person to leave a gathering gets the best pick of the shoes. Pretty sure @tv guy will back me up on this.

PS: Am I the only one who is seeing tons of ads for shoes on this page? Here's one I clipped:

 

[DLgal]

Also for those who wears shoes all day do you also wear socks?
And do you put shoes on from the minute you wake up?
Do you change shoes when you leave the house?
Do you match your outfit around the house?

I wear socks with my crocs, yes. I'm stylish like that.

In the summer, I switch to Crocs flip flops, but I still wear socks a lot even in summer because my feet get cold.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Another sort of related question - who brings shoes to change into out of winter boots at work?
I think I have 3 pair under my desk!
So nice in the summer to not have to do that!

anyone else have a shoe bag? I use to have a fancy one to carry my dress shoes to the bar in the winter!

 

[Nora03]

Canadian here. We don’t ask people to remove their shoes/boots. It’s just automatic. Everyone does. My dentist has a policy where you have to remove your shoes. They have a bench to sit on and provide disposable booties. I assume it is for sanitary reasons. I remove my shoes and put in the booties, but I’ve also seen people just putting the booties over their shoes. I’m not offended.

 

[jrmasm]

OP was it raining or snowing the day of the baby shower?

 

[kymom99]

My husband walks around our house in wet shoes and it makes me mad. The only people I suggest to take shoes off are children if they have been running in the yard or want to keep
purting their feet up on my furniture. My cat walks around here after digging in the litter box so I’m not overly concerned about germs.

 

[pigletto]

Living in Canada, most people automatically take off their shoes when they enter someone's home, even in the summer.
My Canadian Grandma married and American man and it was always something that frustrated her. He just couldn't get into
the Canadian habit of taking off his shoes in the house. My Grandma was so embarrassed and felt he was rude for tracking dirt into
someone's house.
I guess it depends on the people and the place. When you go to Thailand, you take off your shoes to go into some stores.
If I'm a guest, I just graciously do as the host asks. I always have a basket of slippers at the front door for anyone who needs some.

I was glad to see this response because as a Canadian I read the original post and thought “people don’t take their shoes off at other peoples houses?”
It makes sense that it’s just a thing here, but it’s been so normal my whole life it didn’t occur to me some people don’t in North America. You learn something new every day.

 

[monarchsfan16]

I live in NH. I was raised that it's rude to leave shoes on entering someone's home, especially in winter. If you wear good shoes with good tread for the conditions, there's no way you aren't tracking in snow, mud, salt, or sand (or all of the above). So I just automatically take my shoes off when entering a house. Most in my circle seem to have been raised the same way, because nearly everyone that enters our house takes their shoes off as they enter, without us ever asking.

 

[fly girl]

So people wear their winter boots into the house? Interesting.
Never saw that done here.
we just take off our boots and walk in our socks when invited places.
I’ve worn my boots all day at work when I forgot shoes and it got too hot. Can’t imagine wearing them at a party.
eta - I don’t go to many parties just homes of families and close friends.
I do see wearing dress shoes if dressed up.

No, you don't wear your boots to a party. You know the walkway will be shoveled so you just wear the shoes that goes with your attire.

I remember as a kid when I went to elementary school I would walk in my boots and change to tennis shoes once I got inside. Every once in a while you'd forget and have to wear your moon boots all day.

In college, I had the Sperry duck boots and I just wore them to class. Never changed them out. I am sure people have a change of shoes at work though, especially women who wear any type of heels.

The main thing is this, no one says one way is right or wrong. It is just what we are accustomed too. I would never dare to wear shoes in a house that has asked me not to. In Canada, I learned that in the wintertime it is pretty much a given you take your shoes off, so I will make sure my socks are the "good ones." But in most places in America, if you are hosting a party and have that same request imho the host should inform the guests so they are aware and can plan accordingly because it isn't the norm.

 

[fly girl]

I was glad to see this response because as a Canadian I read the original post and thought “people don’t take their shoes off at other peoples houses?”
It makes sense that it’s just a thing here, but it’s been so normal my whole life it didn’t occur to me some people don’t in North America. You learn something new every day.

People do normally. But when you are going to a party at someone's house (that isn't family) it isn't automatic.

 

[CdnCarrie]

People do normally. But when you are going to a party at someone's house (that isn't family) it isn't automatic.

I don’t think I’ve been to that kind of party in 25 years!
Mostly I go to sock type parties not dress shoes type parties!
But I see what you mean
I guess if you’re attending a holiday house party that’s not family you would take or wear dress shoes and keep them on especially if you have a dress on,

 

[Boopuff]

OP was it raining or snowing the day of the baby shower?

It was a nice 60degree day. And the host has 2 dogs, the entire first floor was hardwood. So I just don’t get it!

for those “shoe off group”. Do you have dogs? just wondering (for my thesis) lol - I’m wondering if pet people are more “shoes on“ than non pet people

 

[fly girl]

I don’t think I’ve been to that kind of party in 25 years!
Mostly I go to sock type parties not dress shoes type parties!
But I see what you mean
I guess if you’re attending a holiday house party that’s not family you would take or wear dress shoes and keep them on especially if you have a dress on,

My parties are mostly with close friends and family too. In those cases I already know going in who likes shoes taken off at the door.

But as with OP, she was at a shower that was hosted by someone she wasn't close to. She had no idea it was going to be a shoes off party. That is not normal in the states. In those cases, that is where I feel the host has the responsibility to inform guests of her rules. It is the polite thing to do.

 

[kymom99]

I went to my step daughters new house for a get together. The kids all kicked their shoes in a big pile inside the door. Her mother in law or someone said oh we need to take our shoes off. I did not. I know their style and worrying about floors isn’t on their radar.