Where should my kid go? Help :(

[MamaMermaid]

Yeah, a strange question to ask the internet but here we are.

My 5yo son starts kindergarten next year. He's currently at a private, religious preschool that has k-8. He loves it there, has friends, etc. Here's the problem: our son was tested for gifted. He scored high. Please, don't think this is bragging - it's relevant details. His IQ came back 146 (which is 99.9%). Again, not bragging, it's an important detail. The school psychologist said because he scored so high, he NEEDS gifted enrichment. Of course, the school he's at... doesn't have a gifted program. When speaking with the early ed. coordinator, she said "teachers try to differentiate but..." yeah... not promising that he will get the enrichment he needs.

He struggles with behavior in pre-k. His teacher says he gets bored and is frustrated when kids aren't on his level.

He could go to public school - there's a brand new one. I have a few friends with kids there that are happy. They have a gifted program that he could be in. But, I'm worried about all the state testing, hw, and safety.

So, weigh in DISboards... what are you doing? Sending him to public where he WILL get the gifted enrichment he needs but have to do lots of state testing? Or, leave him at the private school he loves where he won't get the enrichment. Important to note: the religious element doesn't matter to us. We're split and can't decide.

 

[AndreaDM]

I can speak from experience, I too was considered gifted with a 137 IQ in first grade (a long time ago, I am now 53). I was attending a private Christian school at the time and my parents kept me there through 8th grade. When I started public high school I felt behind, certainly not gifted except maybe in English, but definitely not in Maths and Sciences. Now I know things have changed a lot and the school I went to was very conservative (still not convinced they teach real science there), but my 1-8 education there did nothing to help me succeed in high school. It's a tough choice I'm sure, but that's my 2 cents.

 

[georgina]

Not sure what your concern with state testing is? I was always at the top of my class and did well on state testing, it didn't bother me. Both private and public schools can be great or not so great, there are a lot of other factors.

I see you are in Florida, I know nothing about the schools there.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Not sure what your concern with state testing is? I was always at the top of my class and did well on state testing, it didn't bother me. Both private and public schools can be great or not so great, there are a lot of other factors.

I see you are in Florida, I know nothing about the schools there.

I'm a teacher in FL. There's TONS of state testing. The kids are super overtested and are exhausted by it. I feel bad for all of them but especially the little ones.

 

[BrianL]

I will state that I am not a parent, however I did go to a private school K-8. I don't know that I was "gifted" but I was a pretty smart kid and ahead of the curve. Due to small class size my school did not offer any differeng curriculums - every kid took the same classes from the same teachers (there were only about 30 students per grade). The small class-size though did give teachers more time for individual connection and my being ahead of the general work gave me time to work on my own things a lot. We had science fairs and all that too. I would say my general level of education from that school was pretty good.

I did transfer to a public high school after 8th grade. I went to one of the better ones through an optional attendance program. This school offered a lot. Coming in, many of the kids who were ahead had been taking the high-school classes in 8th grade - for example, they had the option to take Algebra I in 8th, but at my school it was Pre-Algebra period. So, was I a little behind? Not really. A lot of the smartest kids in the class were in my same classes. They took Algebra I with me - then Geometry, Algebra II, and Trig/Calc. The thing is, that was the last class offered, so, while some kids took that in their Junior year, some took it in their Senior. So, I guess I could have had a Senior study hall had I gotten through the math curriculum early, but that is really the only significant difference.

So, for me, the education curriculums I think are less important. A kid like that just needs to have access to mentally stimulating things. I read books a lot. They were made available to me without question for the most part. Reading was good - always. I think your child can thrive in either environment - a smart kid will figure it out. If he really loves his school and doesn't want to change, personally I wouldn't force it. It's super-early too - it can always be reassessed at a later time.

Good luck with it.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

Education before "friends"
Give him the opportunity to flourish !

 

[amylevan]

Bored kids can be troublemakers.

State testing is a non-issue for my gifted DS. A waste of time? Certainly. But he doesn’t stress because it’s easy for him and he doesn’t do a lot of the prep because he’s pulled for his gifted enrichment during a lot it.

 

[Moliphino]

Not sure what your concern with state testing is? I was always at the top of my class and did well on state testing, it didn't bother me. Both private and public schools can be great or not so great, there are a lot of other factors.

I see you are in Florida, I know nothing about the schools there.

I loved standardized testing (Iowa tests and later MCAS) as a kid, does that make me weird? It was a nice break from actual classes.

 

[sam_gordon]

I vote for the public school (because of the gifted program). I think it's better to challenge kids, and there's a better chance of being challenged in a program set up for "gifted".

The private school coordinator has told you your son probably won't get the education he needs. That says a lot right there.

 

[DeeBee3]

I would suggest asking the public schools as well as his current school if there are sources of information/other people to get information. Maybe they can give you more options for your son as it relates to the area you live.

Good luck!

 

[mjkacmom]

Your kid can get behind academically and get off track. My 5 were all in the GT program at our public elementary. NJ schools are pretty good, but it wasn’t the best program, just a pullout with different activities. However, my kids were also fast tracked in middle school, with algebra 1/geometry making it possible to get to AP BC calculus senior year, and Spanish 1/2, I think they got to AP Spanish junior year, making room in the schedule for another academic class senior year. Kids from local parochial schools would struggle when transferring to public. My kids never minded state testing, at all. Dd20 took the sat and act 3 times each and mentioned missing taking them (my kids had tutors so tons of practice tests too).

 

[nw6675]

Bored kids can be troublemakers.

State testing is a non-issue for my gifted DS. A waste of time? Certainly. But he doesn’t stress because it’s easy for him and he doesn’t do a lot of the prep because he’s pulled for his gifted enrichment during a lot it.

This.
I was classified as gifted, took all AP classes in HS, etc. By my senior year I had enough credits to graduate with honors without that year. I was bored and was a complete hellraiser for the last year of high school because I didn't need any classes.

I went to private, DOD, and public schools. Even though there isn't a designated program at the private, it may be that it is just as rigorous. I would keep him there for awhile longer to determine next steps. Gifted programs in PSs aren't always what they are cracked up to be.

 

[gmi3804]

It's my assertion that exposure to the variety of people in a public school situation makes for a better social education. I never met more biased, close-minded people as when I went to a private high school "college prep" school. Children need social as well as academic education. If your local public school has a gifted program, what's the question? The cream will rise to the top, regardless of special programs.

 

[mjkacmom]

This.
I was classified as gifted, took all AP classes in HS, etc. By my senior year I had enough credits to graduate with honors without that year. I was bored and was a complete hellraiser for the last year of high school because I didn't need any classes.

I went to private, DOD, and public schools. Even though there isn't a designated program at the private, it may be that it is just as rigorous. I would keep him there for awhile longer to determine next steps. Gifted programs in PSs aren't always what they are cracked up to be.

All of my kids had plenty of credits by senior year to graduate a year early (except our state requires 4 years of English and PE, so even if they doubled up on English 1 year it I don’t think they could’ve graduated), but colleges want to see a rigorous senior schedule even if the grades won’t count on the GPA (plus some want mid year senior grades). Most kids on an accelerated track aren’t dropping the ball senior year (unless of course they’re not very motivated and a pandemic happens and classes are online for 1 1/2 years…. I did have a good run).

 

[JaxDad]

Both of my kids tested gifted while in private school and were moved into the outstanding local public magnet schools. Absolutely no regrets.

 

[pigletto]

I think one thing that is often overlooked when talking about gifted education is the social aspects. These are often a really big deal for gifted kids who struggle to relate to peers, are often left out , and appear different to their classmates. The public school gifted program challenged my son and gave him learning opportunities that he wasn’t getting. But the single most important thing it gave him was a tribe of kids who understood him. That was priceless.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I would switch him to public school, to take advantage of the enriched program. If you find you are dissatisfied as he gets older, you can always transfer him back. IME, gifted programs in public schools here do not start until at least 3rd grade. Same with state testing, it is grades 3-8, and should not be an issue for a gifted child. You will also save a lot of money in private school tuition that can go towards his college education. I can’t imagine what that will cost in 13 years.

 

[QueenIsabella]

A couple thoughts...

Whatever you decide, it's not a permanent decision. If you try the private route and it doesn't seem to be working for him, you can transfer into the public school.

All of my kids were gifted. Some were given enrichment, some were differentiated. On two, the school missed dual exceptionalities (both gifted and having a learning disability). Don't expect the school to answer all your prayers (or needs).

Along the same lines--be prepared to provide a lot of outside enrichment. This doesn't have to be directly academic--learning an instrument is a great choice, as is whatever your child's passion might be. A sport, perhaps? Art lessons? Computer camp?

Just a couple examples from my kids, who are further along than yours:

My oldest (DD27) was strong in languages from the jump, and was reading well before she hit kindergarten. Rather than push her to read harder books--sometimes the content isn't appropriate for a younger child--I put her in German lessons. Fast forward 20+ years, and she's teaching fourth grade English language learners, and just got her master's in applied linguistics.

My youngest (DS16) has always loved geography. When he was 3, he blew away his preschool teachers by putting together the (unmarked ) US map, naming each state and its capitol as he did so. (Spoiler: the secret weapon was the older sister, above) He STILL loves geography. This morning, I was driving him home from his college calculus class, and he was excited because the teacher had introduced differential equations (he's been waiting for this). Even better, the teacher used an example that involved world populations, and asked if anyone knew the population of China. There's DS16--"ME! ME! Pick ME!!!!" (Of course, he was the only kid with his hand up).

The point is, there are many way and areas that you can provide enrichment, and you don't know where they're going to lead. Buy him books on many subjects, see what attracts him. Take him to plays, museums, exhibits, libraries. Expose him to many different things, and let him find his passion.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Public schools don't necessarily allocate resources in a way that will benefit your child, even if they have a gifted program. Private vs. public likely won't matter until Jr High/High School age when your son can begin taking advanced classes because there usually isn't much specialized instruction happening in the gifted program in a public elementary school. At least not in the school districts that I've worked at in my state.

If your son is gifted and having behavior issues in school I highly recommend seeing a behavior therapist and they can probably offer some insight in this and will be more familiar with your local school district situation to help you decide what is best, plus it's good to start behavior therapy early. No offense meant by this, I'm simply asking because I also have a son with an extremely high IQ, has your son ever been evaluated for autism spectrum? High IQ + behavior issues always makes me wonder. Lots of kids that are high functioning can get by without a diagnosis but a diagnosis can get your son an IEP where you can ask for specialized instruction in public school. In my state, public schools will also get your son set up with a GIEP if he tests into the gifted program (you said you live in Florida and I don't know what you all have there), which technically should get him specialized instruction but I will tell you now that it's kind of a joke in my experience and the GIEP means nothing and doesn't carry the same weight as an IEP for special education.

 

[HopperFan]

Yeah, a strange question to ask the internet but here we are.

My 5yo son starts kindergarten next year. He's currently at a private, religious preschool that has k-8. He loves it there, has friends, etc. Here's the problem: our son was tested for gifted. He scored high. Please, don't think this is bragging - it's relevant details. His IQ came back 146 (which is 99.9%). Again, not bragging, it's an important detail. The school psychologist said because he scored so high, he NEEDS gifted enrichment. Of course, the school he's at... doesn't have a gifted program. When speaking with the early ed. coordinator, she said "teachers try to differentiate but..." yeah... not promising that he will get the enrichment he needs.

He struggles with behavior in pre-k. His teacher says he gets bored and is frustrated when kids aren't on his level.

He could go to public school - there's a brand new one. I have a few friends with kids there that are happy. They have a gifted program that he could be in. But, I'm worried about all the state testing, hw, and safety.

So, weigh in DISboards... what are you doing? Sending him to public where he WILL get the gifted enrichment he needs but have to do lots of state testing? Or, leave him at the private school he loves where he won't get the enrichment. Important to note: the religious element doesn't matter to us. We're split and can't decide.

The longer this goes on, the worse it will likely get. For him to already differentiating his work level in Pre-K from his peers is quite telling.

Number one priority is to get him in the proper academic setting where he is stimulated and therefore emotionally and behaviorally happy. It will be easy to move him at this age and he'll make all kinds of new friends.

Friends should not be the determinant at this age as his friends will be constantly changing all through his school years, as folks move in and out etc.

Testing, WE ALL HATE IT and find it a waste of everyone's time. But every situation has downsides. The upside is the wider diversity of people he will get to meet, a larger pool of potential friends, the greatly increased options for academics both in the classroom and out, the opportunity for more competitive situations at district, county, state levels etc. The public school is tasked with meeting his academic needs, a private school operates under their own timetable.

We have several very large K-8 religious schools around here and I can tell you MANY of these kids enter high school behind, some never catch up. The brightest catch up but imagine how far ahead they would be had they been in a situation where their needs could have been better met.

School is first and foremost for their education, I would move him where he can be challenged, where he has peers in the same boat, where he has access to more programs and options! It is great everyone is in tune to what he needs, now is the time to get him access to those needs.