Parents of College kids

[cmlnkb]

My son is a Senior in the College of Engineering at Boston University and this last semester is pushing him over the edge. He is struggling to get through it even though he is at the finish line. He has regretted his major since the end of sophomore year but it was too late at that point to switch majors. He is extremely discouraged because he cannot find a job, he has had several interviews but never makes it past that first interview. I don't know what to do say other than to encourage him to keep swimming but I think he is running out of gas. He is so close I cannot imagine him losing control now. I thought having a diploma from BU was a shoe in to finding a job but apparently not. He is also disappointed in his GPA at this point and scared it will end worse. Thanks for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated! He has put so much hard work into his major only to be let down and feel it was all for nothing. BTW he is a Computer Engineer not sure what opportunities are available to him after this without experience. Thanks for listening

Editing to add....he is also taking 20 credits this last semester on top of his senior capstone project! My poor guy! NO wonder he is burnt out

 

[tvguy]

Wow, my assumption would be that same as you, a shoe in for a job. And I would expect a University like Boston University to be very aggressive in helping their students find jobs.
Where did he do his co-op (internship) ? Usually the company that a student co ops at will make a job offer.
Only thing with computer engineering is, sometimes employers don't want someone with book knowledge, they want someone one who can fix things. My son quit college 16 units short of his degree in computer science, he has NO Microsoft certifications. He worked for two private IT support companies, and now works for the state. He found that a lot of employers don't like how Microsoft, for example, recommends issues be resolved. They prefer someone who knows the work arounds and can fix things faster than going through the steps recommended by Microsoft.

 

[RogueX]

I'm sorry your son is having such a rough time. Is he looking in Boston itself or has he expanded his job search beyond the city?

In my job we use O*NET for job future outlook, etc. Perhaps he can find something in the information related to his major that will be a starting point and he can move up from there.

Good luck, I hope things get better.

 

[cmlnkb]

Wow, my assumption would be that same as you, a shoe in for a job. And I would expect a University like Boston University to be very aggressive in helping their students find jobs.
Where did he do his co-op (internship) ? Usually the company that a student co ops at will make a job offer.
Only thing with computer engineering is, sometimes employers don't want someone with book knowledge, they want someone one who can fix things. My son quit college 16 units short of his degree in computer science, he has NO Microsoft certifications. He worked for two private IT support companies, and now works for the state. He found that a lot of employers don't like how Microsoft, for example, recommends issues be resolved. They prefer someone who knows the work arounds and can fix things faster than going through the steps recommended by Microsoft.

He was not able to get an internship, he applied to over 100 but never got an offer . He has attended both career fairs and got an interview but that is as far as it went. The more he gets rejected the worse he feels. I am so sad.

 

[tvguy]

He was not able to get an internship, he applied to over 100 but never got an offer . He has attended both career fairs and got an interview but that is as far as it went. The more he gets rejected the worse he feels. I am so sad.

Wow, I thought most Engineering schools had an internship requirement to graduate.

 

[cmlnkb]

Wow, I thought most Engineering schools had an internship requirement to graduate.

Nope not at BU.

 

[lanejudy]

Sorry to hear he is struggling in his final semester. Hindsight is always 20/20, but "too late at that point to switch majors" was just a refusal to face reality. Was it the prestige of the school that kept him there? Was it someone else's expectation of him going into this field? Maybe it was just the thought of more time? Yes changing majors could mean another year (or 2) and/or it could mean mean changing schools. But in the long run, learning what he wants to do and feeling good about himself is worth so much more. I spent a year+ working various part-time jobs (both in my field and out) when I graduated. The life lessons and additional learning opportunities along the way lead me to my current employer where I've now been for 26 years. Many people land in careers that don't directly align with their college educations, or go back to school to study something different. I suggest he speak with their career placement office and start thinking outside the box about 1) what he'd really like to do and 2) what if anything he might need to get there. He may be able to spin his resume, or maybe a summer class elsewhere will put him on the road to his dream job. Good luck!

 

[robinb]

My son is a Senior in the College of Engineering at Boston University and this last semester is pushing him over the edge. He is struggling to get through it even though he is at the finish line. He has regretted his major since the end of sophomore year but it was too late at that point to switch majors. He is extremely discouraged because he cannot find a job, he has had several interviews but never makes it past that first interview. I feel so bad for him as he tells me he feels numb. I don't know what to do say other than to encourage him to keep swimming but I think he is running out of gas. He is so close I cannot imagine him losing control now. I thought having a diploma from BU was a shoe in to finding a job but apparently not. His is disappointed in his GPA at this point and scared it will end worse. The department isn't very helpful, and his mental health counselor doesn't help either according to him. Thanks for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated! He has put so much hard work into his major only to be let down and feel it was all for nothing. BTW he is a Computer Engineer not sure what opportunities are available to him after this without experience. He also feels inferior to his peers which makes me so sad. Thanks for listening

My DD23 graduated from the UW-Madison in 2021. She did change majors her sophomore year and her new major (Kinesiology -> Rehabilitation Psychology) was a much better fit. She is currently taking a "gap period", more than a year but less than a lifetime. We fully support her on this because we know it's best for her to be mentality ready to do well in graduate school in Dance and Movement Therapy or Occupational Therapy ... her choice.

You say that your son has regretted his major since sophomore year. I think that he should step back and look at what he really wants to do with his life. Apparently Computer Engineering is not it and the companies are picking up on it which is why he didn't find an internship and can't find a job. I'm sorry to be blunt, but lack and enthusiasm in addition to "meh" grades doesn't encourage people to hire you.

I think he really needs a gap year to figure things out. He needs to get off Computer Engineering job treadmill and focus on his grades. Perhaps knowing that he isn't required to work in that field will motivate him to finish the next couple months strong. After that, he can focus on himself and what he wants. Not the major he feels trapped in. If you have the funds to financially help him through the gap year, even better.

Good luck to him. He has to be a pretty smart kid to get into Computer Engineering at BU. He'll figure it out but he needs the space and the time to do it.

 

[RangerPooh]

A piece of advice that I would give my business students when I was an academic advisor, was to think outside the box. The job is versatile and can be applied to more employers than the think. Also, how wide is the net that they're casting? Is it in the same area that everyone else is applying or are the open to possibly relocating, commuting, etc? While he's met with his advisor, has he met wit the career services office for his department or the university?

Another option is to consider graduate school. It might be too late for the fall semester, but this might be an option for spring or fall 24. Especially as you mentioned that he has not been happy with the major choice since sophomore year. Have you asked him what he'd like to do other than computer engineering?

 

[sksjasams]

No advice, just big hugs to you and your son.

 

[tzolkin]

Many people land in careers that don't directly align with their college educations, or go back to school to study something different. I suggest he speak with their career placement office and start thinking outside the box

I agree with looking at other options. Especially since he has already been regretting his major. Have all the jobs he has been applying for been the same type of position? Perhaps he would be happier in a career that is related to his education, but not specifically what he went to school for.

I know there is a difference between engineering and a liberal arts degree, but many people I know (including myself) work jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with their major in college. All of my siblings and many friends have never worked in any related field to their undergrad major. Even my dad (who is an engineer) has not worked in that capacity for over 20 years. He was initially hired as an engineer out of school, but took on another role that was a better fit.

 

[Praying Colonel]

Does he want to be an engineer? Sounds like he may not, and that's OK. So many people go on to have fulfilling careers who didn't work in their undergrad field of major. I'd encourage him to complete the next--what, 2 months?--get that degree and then he has a wide range of options to consider.

 

[kymom99]

I don’t have first hand knowledge, but one of my best friends has a son who graduated in December with a degree in computer science or something like that. He didn’t do an internship. He took a job at Amazon unloading planes with the hope it might open up a job in IT at some point.

I have talked about my son and his journey to get a job in the national park system. His university really was no help. He has worked at small local and state park properties and just kept applying. He has a seasonal job at a national historic site, so things are finally starting to happen.

Your son may want to apply to a school district. Lots of computer work in schools today.

Just curious, why would sophomore year be too late to change majors? I imagine he has been miserable if he has been working on a degree that he feels is a bad fit.

 

[Lumpy1106]

My son is a Senior in the College of Engineering at Boston University and this last semester is pushing him over the edge. He is struggling to get through it even though he is at the finish line. He has regretted his major since the end of sophomore year but it was too late at that point to switch majors. He is extremely discouraged because he cannot find a job, he has had several interviews but never makes it past that first interview. I feel so bad for him as he tells me he feels numb. I don't know what to do say other than to encourage him to keep swimming but I think he is running out of gas. He is so close I cannot imagine him losing control now. I thought having a diploma from BU was a shoe in to finding a job but apparently not. His is disappointed in his GPA at this point and scared it will end worse. The department isn't very helpful, and his mental health counselor doesn't help either according to him. Thanks for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated! He has put so much hard work into his major only to be let down and feel it was all for nothing. BTW he is a Computer Engineer not sure what opportunities are available to him after this without experience. He also feels inferior to his peers which makes me so sad. Thanks for listening

Sounds like he needs help with his interview skills. Surely BU has the resources for him?
The other thing, having been on both sides of that table, is interviewers of college grads are looking for passion and personality. He couldn't possibly have the experience, and very few college grads do. If he doesn't have the passion for the job it is hard to fake. I would encourage him to do some research; what kids of jobs are out there for his major and what does he see himself doing in 5 years, 10 years etc. Maybe he's just not interviewing for the right job?

My experience; I went to a college with a great engineering program. Unfortunately jobs had dried up in my industry the year I graduated. Anyone who was truly serious about finding a job immediately after graduation had a list of companies we'd sent resumes to, and and it was hard to take anyone seriously if their list was under 100 companies long. That's just what it took.

 

[cmlnkb]

He felt that all his previous classes were engineering so if he were to switch majors, he would virtually be starting over. He said he regretted his major at the end of sophomore year. I believe it was partly due to his roommates being in majors that had very little work and studying compared to him. Maybe a little fomo on his part. I think he is just overwhelmed at this point because he did express he liked his major just regretting not picking a major with less demand. I think the outlook of making lots of money as an engineer kept him going but now at the finish line with no hope for a job is killing his mojo and crushing his self esteem. I am trying to tell him to finish strong and worry about the job after graduation.

 

[sam_gordon]

My son is a Senior in the College of Engineering at Boston University and this last semester is pushing him over the edge. He is struggling to get through it even though he is at the finish line. He has regretted his major since the end of sophomore year but it was too late at that point to switch majors. He is extremely discouraged because he cannot find a job, he has had several interviews but never makes it past that first interview. I feel so bad for him as he tells me he feels numb. I don't know what to do say other than to encourage him to keep swimming but I think he is running out of gas. He is so close I cannot imagine him losing control now. I thought having a diploma from BU was a shoe in to finding a job but apparently not. His is disappointed in his GPA at this point and scared it will end worse. The department isn't very helpful, and his mental health counselor doesn't help either according to him. Thanks for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated! He has put so much hard work into his major only to be let down and feel it was all for nothing. BTW he is a Computer Engineer not sure what opportunities are available to him after this without experience. He also feels inferior to his peers which makes me so sad. Thanks for listening

The bolded jumped out to me. A new college graduate, if they don't have some kind of work background (internship counts) only has the GPA. If it's not very good, that could be why he's having a hard time finding a job (and even an internship).

Here's what I would tell my kids (and I have a college freshman):
* Keep trying to get help from the school. The department should have contacts with nearby companies, and even former students. That's to say nothing about what BU has to offer in their placement services.
* He might have to widen his net. If he's just looking around the Boston area, he might need to find some place away from the city. The "shooting stars" will get the "big" jobs, he will have to work hard.
* Does he (you) have the money that he can extend his college and get a second major. I would have thought the end of sophomore year would have been the perfect time to change majors. While there were probably 5-6 major specific courses, a lot should have been general ed. That's water over the bridge though. What would he LIKE to do?
* He may have to get a job NOT in his major, and then take classes on nights or weekends to work toward a new major.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 2 college graduates (who work for the companies where they interned, one was easy to get, accounting, the other my son got through his business fraternity, valuations), I have 2 in undergrad, and 1 in grad school (BU, dpt). One of my 20 year olds crashed and burned with mental health issues freshman year so came home to re-group, is currently commuting. He‘s the one I worry about, he’s not a go getter, and has anxiety and depression. In your son’s case, he’s so close to the finish line, tell him to forget about finding a job and just try to finish strong. University mental health counselors are in such short supply, visits are limited on all of my kids’ campuses. Your son is young, and it’s not just him struggling to find a job after graduation, even in a popular field.

 

[Heatherhy01]

My son is a Senior in the College of Engineering at Boston University and this last semester is pushing him over the edge. He is struggling to get through it even though he is at the finish line. He has regretted his major since the end of sophomore year but it was too late at that point to switch majors. He is extremely discouraged because he cannot find a job, he has had several interviews but never makes it past that first interview. I feel so bad for him as he tells me he feels numb. I don't know what to do say other than to encourage him to keep swimming but I think he is running out of gas. He is so close I cannot imagine him losing control now. I thought having a diploma from BU was a shoe in to finding a job but apparently not. His is disappointed in his GPA at this point and scared it will end worse. The department isn't very helpful, and his mental health counselor doesn't help either according to him. Thanks for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated! He has put so much hard work into his major only to be let down and feel it was all for nothing. BTW he is a Computer Engineer not sure what opportunities are available to him after this without experience. He also feels inferior to his peers which makes me so sad. Thanks for listening

I am so sorry you are going through this as I have had a similar situation with my daughter. She had graduated in 2021 with her Bachelor's in elementary Education. She was the only one of her peers (in her major) that did not gain employment after she graduation. She was heartbroken and frustrated. She cried daily. After many conversations reassuring her that one day, things will look up, she finally got a job. It was not exactly what she was looking for and was only a subbing gig but it was better than nothing. She has since decided to go back for her Masters and is currently working with the university receiving a stipend while they pay for her Masters program. All I could do was listen and keep reassuring her. One day at a time.

I feel so bad for our young graduates, it is tough finding employment for some upon graduation. My daughter has some friends that ended up not even having a career in what they studied for due to not being able to find employment.

Good luck!! Just keep giving him all the support and let him know that he is not alone!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I used to work in HR and have interviewed many people. If your son has been having doubts about his major, that might be coming through in his interviews. The interviewer can get a sense if the interviewee is truly enthusiastic about the job/field or not. When interviewing several people for the same job, the one with the total package (job skills, enthusiasm, communication skills, an overall good "fit" for the company) tend to really stand out. Some candidates come across as doubtful in their abilities or passion for the job. Others come across as over-zealous (I really NEED this job so please hire me).

Also, new college grads are generally inexperienced at interviews, and that's to be expected by interviewers. They don't expect new grads to be completely polished or have all the answers. They just want to see the potential for growth, openness to learning, excitement about getting started in the field and a desire to make a meaningful contribution to the company. One question we would often ask candidates (especially new grads) is "Why did you choose this field? What attracted you to it?" You can learn a lot about a person's passion and commitment by the their answer.

If your son is truly committed to computer engineering and wants to make a sincere go at it as a career, he might benefit by training in interview skills. There are coaches who will look at his resume, help him pinpoint the right jobs to apply for and coach him on interview skills. Perhaps his college career center has such a service, or he can find one privately. Hope this helps and good luck to your son!

 

[sam_gordon]

I am so sorry you are going through this as I have had a similar situation with my daughter. She had graduated in 2021 with her Bachelor's in elementary Education. She was the only one of her peers (in her major) that did not gain employment after she graduation. She was heartbroken and frustrated. She cried daily. After many conversations reassuring her that one day, things will look up, she finally got a job. It was not exactly what she was looking for and was only a subbing gig but it was better than nothing. She has since decided to go back for her Masters and is currently working with the university receiving a stipend while they pay for her Masters program. All I could do was listen and keep reassuring her. One day at a time.

I feel so bad for our young graduates, it is tough finding employment for some upon graduation. My daughter has some friends that ended up not even having a career in what they studied for due to not being able to find employment.

Good luck!! Just keep giving him all the support and let him know that he is not alone!

Oldest DD graduated in 2020 (right as covid hit) with an Elem. Ed degree. She spent a year subbing at a couple schools, got hired as a regular teacher in Fall '21, didn't get renewed, and found another school she liked for this year.

You have to keep at it and know you probably won't get your "dream" job right off the bat. In fact, you may have to get a job outside your major and then get back in.