Depends on if someone views it as that. It would be quite rude of you to assume us women as an entire gender are the same and thus have the same issue the OP would have and should thusly act like the OP has. I would say speaking to the staff is speaking out if it bothers one so much. If I am bothered so much by the conversation the gender makes no difference to me nor should it. Twisting a quote from Barbie does not work here if you're trying to point out gender issues by applying a gender norm yourself.
Um, I am a woman. And entirely confident using my voice. And now that I know the topic of the overheard conversation, my personal inclination changes slightly. I would most likely have loudly repeated some of what they were saying, weighing in with my own thoughts. But that's just me. I'm not horrified by sex or genitalia or animal anatomy.
But talk about gaslighting! You're now telling at least the women in this thread who think the OP is a Karen that we're not good feminists? That we're "making excuses for men's bad behavior?" Sorry, but I'm about the biggest liberal feminist you'll ever meet and I STILL don't think the OP had any right to police the guys' conversation. And I would say the exact same thing if it was a conversation between women and a man decided to confront them. Not everything has to be a gender issue.
If you reread my post, I made a few disclaimers:
* Reading several different articles on the Golden Globes & Jo Koy’s jokes directed toward the “Barbie” movie & Taylor Swift AND the difference between how he spoke about “Oppenheimer” as opposed to “Barbie” may have colored my thinking on this post - I admit it.
* And, because of the above, I realize that the situation is probably not a gender issue - it just hit me that way since we’re discussing the actions & reactions of 1 woman vs. 2 men.
And I am not speaking for every woman because we women are our own individuals.
My point was that the conversation was crass - if the OP’s story is accurate.
At the point the men started talking about genitalia, the OP was uncomfortable.
I do understand & empathize w/ how she may have felt.
At the same time, I also realize that their conversation may NOT have made everyone comfortable. Other men AND women may have joined in & thought nothing of it & enjoyed the conversation.
That’s absolutely fine.
But we can’t see how their conversation - the words they were using, the topics they were discussing - may have made SOME people - both men AND women - uncomfortable?
(I can’t even say that had I been there I might not have laughed along… I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but, according to the OP, she was uncomfortable, so I believe her.)
And, if they were loud enough that the OP could overhear them, they were probably too loud.
Then, when she said something, they felt like they had the right to react verbally aggressive.
And that’s okay?
If we take the OP at face value, she spoke up initially because she didn’t know if they were aware she was there. She said she was polite about it.
So, it’s then fine to respond to a polite request w/ a verbal assault & to curse the person? They reacted correctly & she deserved the verbal aggression? That’s what we’re saying?
In this particular situation, it was 2 men verbally assaulting & cursing at a woman, & that’s okay w/ everyone? Again, I’m aware this isn’t a gender issue & MANY women (including some on this thread) may not have been offended or felt threatened… that’s not the point. SOME women WOULD have felt threatened. (And, because this isn’t a feminist issue, some MEN also would have felt threatened.)
So, then when recounting the story, the OP gets attacked for the way she handled the situation & the men are getting what amounts to a free pass.
So, yeah, a woman calls out some men’s bad behavior & then gets accused of complaining.
Not in these exact words but this is the basic gist of it -
“OP, you had the audacity to police someone else’s conversation?! How dare you! Don’t you know it’s a free country? You‘re such a Karen. If you’re uncomfortable, YOU leave. I would have cussed you out too.”
Why did these men have the right to be comfortable in their public space, but she didn’t? Why did these men have the right to verbally assault her because they didn’t like her words to them, but she didn’t have the right to question them on their words?
At some point we, as a society, have stopped caring about how our public behavior may affect others who are sharing the same public space w/ us.
Is it such a surprise that some people may not like hearing a lot of curse words & sex talk while out in a shared public space? Do we not understand the art of discrete conversation any more?
I don’t care if the conversation’s about childbirth, what kind of sex you‘re having, or how your kid threw up lasagna chunks everywhere, or if you’re praying to Mother Mary or the Golden Calf… you can (& should!) talk about whatever you want to talk about w/ whomever you want using whatever words you want.
But common civility & common decency should prevail - some conversation topics should be kept to a level at which not everyone around you can hear.
If the men were taking turns & reading loudly from their Bibles, & she was having to sit there & listen to Leviticus being read in 2-part harmony while trying to enjoy a glass of wine, I’d feel the same.
My point - don’t infringe yourself upon someone else.
And, yes, she’s being gaslit & being told she had no right to react the way she did while the men had every right to react the way they did.
at least on a general level, different context change the conversation no matter the content.
