Did I say somewhere that I couldn't locate communities? I don't remember that!!!
My parents (as well as I) have spent our life in or close to the city. We are D.C. natives and while the city and the traffic can be a big sore spot, when really thinking about it, none of us wants to be in the boonies. Flourishing suburbs are just fine. My parents really like the idea of an over-55 community so that they can be more concentrated with folks of their own interests. Many of these communities have clubhouses and organized activities that force you to get to know your neighbors. They need that. Currently they live in a townhouse community that has changed over its residents so many times. Tons of kids, lots of parties and drunks in the parking areas on the weekends, etc. Mostly working families getting up and leaving at 5AM, slamming car doors, honking, speeding, etc. Not crime and they don't feel unsafe, but they just feel tired of dealing with all that. As you have said, they have found that many of the over-55 communities (at least in the Virginia area) are built in the middle of nowhere. There's a reason for that--keeps the housing costs way down and more accessible to seniors. But they have gotten spoiled by having everything close by and they want to continue that.
They don't have to have a single family home. They have considered looking at condos, especially in Naples, but they aren't overly thrilled with that. I think they really do prefer a home or a villa or something like that. It can be joined to another. Again, not a *must* though, if it were the right situation.