Adult children - how much to contribute to family expenses?

[mi*vida*loca]

$115 for car insurance. Our son is 19 and is being quoted $345 a month for a 2013 Corolla. At this point he said he'd take his chance without insurance, as his income after tax from work is $650 a month. He is a full time college student-driving 3 years. Only issue was a fender bender where he backed into an illegally parked car.

We are going to "buy" the car from him and put it in our name to assist. It will be over $250 a month in savings.

I'm in NJ and we have insane insurance prices. I will be owning DS's car and he will be a driver on my policy. There is no other way to do it. It would be well over 3K a year for him to have his own insurance and that's liability only.

 

[js]

I'm in NJ and we have insane insurance prices. I will be owning DS's car and he will be a driver on my policy. There is no other way to do it. It would be well over 3K a year for him to have his own insurance and that's liability only.

I live in NY and feel your pain. A thing that has helped a little is that for my ds, when he was in HS, and now in college, if he holds a 3.0 or higher, we get a deduction
on our insurance, which I think is close to $2000. Not sure if your ds is in school, but worth a phone call.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I live in NY and feel your pain. A thing that has helped a little is that for my ds, when he was in HS, and now in college, if he holds a 3.0 or higher, we get a deduction
on our insurance, which I think is close to $2000. Not sure if your ds is in school, but worth a phone call.

My son is a freshman in community college and lives at home. He has his permit right now but I will be doing the good student discount. We are also getting him driving school so we can get a small discount too. Every little bit helps.

 

[kydisneyfans]

$345? Ouch! I guess some of this varies by state, though I tend to think CO has high car insurance premiums, but also a 19yo boy just gets hit so hard. My dd is driving a 2005 civic. So, a much older car also than what your ds is driving. I did read that the #1 way to lower car insurance for a teen was to get them an all out beater car (basically worth nothing). I refuse to do that b/c my dd drives 25 mins to college each way, 4 days a week, and then is frequently driving home on Fri and Sat nights from babysitting at midnight. However, if she were knocking around town and just a few miles here and there, I might consider something even older.

We were looking at the reliability standpoint. The range was 2010-12 but found the 2013 for 7K and bought it. He drives 4x a week about 10 miles to class, but his job is another 8 miles beyond that. Usually he just goes on to work after class, except for the weekends. The $345 quote is with the good student discount.

With that being said, it is going to be $17 to transfer the car to my name. It will then cost $322/month for full coverage on 4 vehicles total instead of just $345 for himself. It makes no sense.

 

[hsmamato2]

This is great but what does one do when “kids” are still in school?

My ds is 20 and still in college and my dd-24 (almost 25) is in law school. My ds lives on campus and while my dd lived on camous in college, she lives at home while commuting to school.

My ds is a pitcher in college. He plays ball all year and doesnt work in the summer since away in summer playing ball. We dont want or expect him to play after graduating, but he wont have these experiences ever again.

My dd woked as a paid intern this summer and was offered a great six figure salary for when she graduates in May and will start in September.

My dh and I pay for everything, including vacations, gas, car, phone, data etc. Once my dd starts working she says she wants to move out eventually and my ds, if he doesnt end up getting a city job, will move back home after graduation, get his masters in Education and says he will live at home and save money (regardless if working or still in school, which will be 21 or over). Maybe then he will start contributing but to say at a certain age this is it doesnt work for all families. Heck, my mom still takes my family and me on vacations and I hope to be able to always do the same for my family.

I know I'm in the minority here but I *strongly* feel that even in school etc (or any other path that limits their income ability) they are still responsible for figuring out a way to make things happen in their own lives. I want my (grown) kids to be responsible for themselves and their choices. This includes schooling,how long they stay in school their school choices and costs,and cost of living. I am really old fashioned here I guess- In making their own choices in life in most everything (which is how it should be since they're,well,adults now!) means they MUST figure out how to make that life they're choosing workable. I still support in many ways my on YA kiddo who has a limited income/student type situation- food,shelter,etc. BUT he has his own car,license,insurance and phone. (I paid for half his phone monthly on a limited data plan till he was 18) The other stuff,he's figuring out,and we give him the time to do it. ( he works hard to make his choices happen- right now he's a handyman part time to pay his bills)
I'm not insisting everyone do things my way, I'm just stating my opinion. I myself grew up when I needed to-(married at 21 to my DH who was 21) I want my 'kids' to feel that same need to grow up and be independent. No matter what life course they're choosing, they should bear the responsibilty to make it happen. (with some side support if needed from parents, but only 'on the side') If I give them 'everything they need' while they're still responsible for so little,(beyond 18) I'm not giving them the incentive or opportunity to do these things.
I don't tell others what to do, but I have strong opinions on these things that I try to live by,and so far so good- our family relationships are solid.
I've always lived by the mantra -"I'm not raising 'good kids' I'm trying to raise responsible adults". This is my way of doing that.

 

[hsmamato2]

Oh...one thing I learned about teens and insurance..... the car my DS owns is still in my Dh's name(he lives here at home,and bought my Dh's used card last year,yup we charged him) simply b/c that way he can pay a much lower insurance premium. So that's kind of what I mean when I say we require him to be responsible for his own bills, but if there's a way we can help support him transitioning to adulthood,(and pay his bills himself while not being able to work full time yet) then that's one way we can be of help. DS is listed on it too, but it keeps the premiums lower.

 

[dakotix]

I was spoiled as a kid. I was never asked to pay anything other than car insurance and phone. What a shock to my system when I moved out on my own and had to contend with rent and utilities. My feeling is this is less about getting money from your DD rather than preparing her for the real world so that she is prepared. Even if its $50 for rent and $10 for utilities it will put those real life costs on her radar so she learns to budget.