Am I crazy? Wife can’t go...

[Hayes1108]

1st off, Long time listener/reader 1st time poster

So here is the deal, I have been to the world several times, I used to go twice a year as a kid with my family, having 2 uncles in West palm and another in Georgia we were always there so I am very familiar with the parks and I have been 4 times now as an adult.

We took our kids ds5 and dd4 in March and they instantly fell in love. We took over the family produce farm this spring and both of them have been busting there buts ( I’m very proud of how they are working hard twords there goal... of going back to Disney, and working on some savings)

We were pregnant again when we there in March and unfortunately suffered a miscarriage shortly after. We found out we were pregnant again about 4 weeks ago YAY! But my dw started having some of the same symptoms... so she has pretty much been put on bed rest, with the exception of being slowed to go to work and it is highly unlikely that she will be able to travel with us in November (we have booked a stay for the week after thanksgiving)

So... I do not want to let my kids down, they have been working so hard and are looking forward to going down, plus I need a vacation after working 2 jobs all summer. So I am contemplating taking them by myself, we have plenty of family around to help my wife while we would be gone. However I am extremely nervous about being by myself with both of them, my brother lives in Tampa and would probably do 1 day with us but for the rest of the week I would be on my own.

So I guess what I am really asking here is for input from any parents that have done a trip with kids on there own, and not that I don’t have respect for the single parents out there, but you would be more adapt to handling that. So is there any parents out there that have left there s/o at home and went on there own with kids? What was your experience like? Was it difficult? Is there any recommendations?

Like I said I am a veteran so I am familiar with the parks however not on this level, any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated before I make a decision here.

 

[Marshmelo]

How does your wife feel about this? If it were me I wouldn’t want my family to leave me behind, especially considering the situation. She may not want to admit it but it may hurt her if you take the family without her.

 

[danielocha30]

You can do it! you will be probably surprise of how well kids behave when mom is not around. And make sure you book a bounce back offer to bring Mom and new baby next time Lol

 

[ENJDisneyFan]

Is there any option to postpone the trip to when your wife can go? If I were in her shoes I would probably be bummed to be left behind, especially on bed rest. That said, if plans can't be changed and your wife is ok with it, I think you'll be fine! The kids are old enough to be somewhat self sufficient, it's not like they will need bottles or diaper changes. Just plan for what you think they/you can handle and be flexible.

 

[Capang]

I've done it. And I'm doing it again this winter. It is an adjustment if you are used to having your spouse with you but it is totally doable and something your kids will remember forever.

 

[PollyannaMom]

As long as your wife is fine with it, and family will be looking after her at home, I say go for it. The kids earned it, and will be living on those memories when it's the new baby's turn for all the attention for a while.

So I guess what I am really asking here is for input from any parents that have done a trip with kids on there own, and not that I don’t have respect for the single parents out there, but you would be more adapt to handling that. So is there any parents out there that have left there s/o at home and went on there own with kids? What was your experience like? Was it difficult? Is there any recommendations?

I have not been specifically to Disney alone with DS, but I have traveled alone with him. - DH's work schedule means he occasionally can't go with us (or he's also traveling for work at the same time.)


Things you will need to plan for:

bathroom breaks - figure out what you're comfortable with, and make a plan (whether that's "everyone tries" when we see a family restroom, or sitting on a wall and taking turns, or whatever)

realistic expectations if someone just completely tires out - you all need to be prepared to cheerfully stop and rest, since you can't just split up

"Silver Linings":

The more people in your group, the more complicated decisions are. So the fewer you have, the fewer disagreements.

It may not be the case in your family, but in most families I know, mom is the "1st line" parent - meaning the kids will go to her before dad. Plunging yourself into the primary role for a bit really will create special memories with your kids!


(I would also suggest checking out the "DIS Dads" subforum at the top of the page!)

 

[Hisgirl]

Is there a cousin or other relative who could come as your guest to help out? Also, make sure make sure make sure she is INSISTING you do this. She, also, has been working two jobs, and is just as exhausted as you are. Make sure she is not feeling slighted. If the kids wait 11 months to go, they won't melt. We took a 3 month grand to the world and it was easy and great.

 

[kuhltiffany]

I took the kids myself when they were 3 and 4, DH was working and couldn't get the time off. It was the best trip ever! We just went with the flow, quite relaxed, did what they wanted and had an awesome time. At night I would put them to bed and then pack/plan for the next day, get clothes and park bag ready. I made sure I had lots of snacks (did grocery delivery) and fed them breakfast in the room to get an easier start in the morning. A stroller helped for long distances and to hold all the "stuff".

Surprisingly, we had the best time at Epcot, my kids loved seeing all the countries and visiting all the Kidcot stops around the world. They are 13 and 14 now and still talk about it!

 

[smiths02]

I spent part of the time alone with my older DS when he was 5. (The driving and driving back was alone, DH met us there for a few days). Anyhow, it was fine.
Although, you said you need a vacation. While I love it and it is fun, it isn't much of a vacation especially if you are alone with young children. You are on duty 24/7.

I would worry about bathroom breaks, mostly for yourself. When I went alone with DS, it was fine to take him into the women's restroom, so I didn't have to worry about that. At that age, it might be iffy whether a child can navigate a busy bathroom by themselves including wiping and washing hands. I would look for companion and family type restrooms...maybe map them out as PP suggested.

Also, set up expectations that everything has to be done together. There is no child swap option here. If someone, like my DS, won't ride Haunted Mansion, then no one gets to ride. This would have been heartbreaking for my kids as one likes roller coasters and two do not.

I would also consider the stroller (or not) issue. For us, a single stroller would be good. Enough to give someone a break and haul some stuff, but not as bulky as trying to carry around a double stroller. Yours might be old enough not to need it. A good backpack would be helpful.

We did safety tatts, but some talking about what to do if separated and having contact info would be good.

 

[Spunky946]

We just recently got back and my dh couldn’t join us for the whole time, so the kids and I went early. Now granted they are older 14 and 10, but we had a great time.

In a lot of ways it was a lot easier just the three of us. As the only adult I had final say. Go for it if she’s ok with it

 

[Helene_C]

I've done solo trips with my kids and agree with all the others that as long as your wife is happy about this, taking your kids on your own can be great fun while giving the other parent a nice break. The highlighted part is of course the key!

One suggestion: when I was solo with both kids in Disneyland, I hired a babysitter to come with us for two half-days. I did this because my kids have a big age split (2 and 7 at the time) and I didn't want the big kid to miss out on height-restricted rides. (I know 7 is old enough to ride alone, and we did some of that - but I wanted to share the experience too!) I went through an agency and asked for babysitters who have annual passes, and she and the little kid entertained themselves while following me and the big kid around the park. Not cheap but it worked out very well and was so worth it. You don't have the same age split, but maybe still something to think about if one kid is a daredevil and the other is not.

 

[Helene_C]

One practical suggestion - bring breakfast foods and eat in the room. When I started doing that it made mornings SO MUCH easier - I like to rope drop but getting little kids out the door and then dealing with a QS/food court, or budgeting time for a TS, was just impossible. Now, I don't have to wake them as early and I can let them eat at their usual snail's pace while I get myself ready, dress them, pack our bags, etc. Much more pleasant start to the day. And sometimes I even dress them in the next day's clothes at bedtime to make mornings simpler. (Might not work if your kids like to wear costumes at Disney.)

 

[jliucci]

First let me say Congrats!

If i was your wife I would be VERY upset if my children and husband went to Disney without me while I was pregnant. I would feel like i was missing out on those memories with my kids. I would postpone the trip to a time you can all go.

 

[jo-jo]

I don't know the rules for sure, but I thought I heard there a rule of being age 7 before you can sit alone on a ride. Don't know if it matter that you would be right behind the kids. I have never been alone with two young kids at disney but I'm sure others have. Just wanted to throw that out it, perhaps others can give advise if that really is a rule.

 

[easyas123]

If I was in your wifes shoes and your situation I would encourage you to go! Great trip for Dad to spend some time with the kids and let them soak up some one on one time with you before a new sibling takes over the spotlight for a while! And a nice bit of time for Mom to chill out in a quiet house before the busy holiday season and the new arrival shows up.
And I'm sure you'll do just fine with the kids on your own!

 

[Bellesadventure]

I agree with everyone saying to make sure your wife truly doesn't mind missing the experience. If she's on board, I say go for it!

I only have one child but we travel all the time, just the two of us. Disney is easier than most places, because it's super kid friendly and if you stay onsite, you don't have to worry about transportation or carseats. Pack food for the hotel room: breakfast stuff to make mornings simple, easy snacks, and some dinner options that don't require a microwave (e.g. peanut butter and jelly kind of stuff). Even if you plan on eating at the parks most of the time, it's nice to have options. Plus, one night I got stuck ordering a large cheese pizza just for myself and eating two slices because my daughter crashed early and I was not waking her and dragging her to the food court a Coronado Springs, which was approx. 13 miles from our room.

Take or rent a stroller. They'll probably get tired, plus it will corral them on Main Street and busy areas. Keep expectations reasonable, let them each pick two rides per day that they want to do and everything else is a bonus. Give them instructions before leaving home and at the beginning of each day regarding expected behavior, e.g. stay with dad, we all go to the bathroom together... They are both old enough to understand and comply. It's a lot of work but you will make memories of a lifetime! Congrats on the pregnancy, I hope everything works out!

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I feel like it is a big assumption to think that your wife won't be able to travel based on 1 miscarriage, especially since she should be in at least the 2nd trimester by the time your trip is planned. Check with her doctor and follow their advice, but usually pregnant women are clear to travel, and 1 miscarriage is considered statistically normal.

If your wife is still considered too fragile to travel at that point, I would not go on the trip. I would have been very upset if DH had left me on bedrest to go on vacation.

As for taking 2 kids to WDW alone, people do it all the time. It just depends on how comfortable you are with your kids.

 

[brockash]

1st off, Long time listener/reader 1st time poster

So here is the deal, I have been to the world several times, I used to go twice a year as a kid with my family, having 2 uncles in West palm and another in Georgia we were always there so I am very familiar with the parks and I have been 4 times now as an adult.

We took our kids ds5 and dd4 in March and they instantly fell in love. We took over the family produce farm this spring and both of them have been busting there buts ( I’m very proud of how they are working hard twords there goal... of going back to Disney, and working on some savings)

We were pregnant again when we there in March and unfortunately suffered a miscarriage shortly after. We found out we were pregnant again about 4 weeks ago YAY! But my dw started having some of the same symptoms... so she has pretty much been put on bed rest, with the exception of being slowed to go to work and it is highly unlikely that she will be able to travel with us in November (we have booked a stay for the week after thanksgiving)

So... I do not want to let my kids down, they have been working so hard and are looking forward to going down, plus I need a vacation after working 2 jobs all summer. So I am contemplating taking them by myself, we have plenty of family around to help my wife while we would be gone. However I am extremely nervous about being by myself with both of them, my brother lives in Tampa and would probably do 1 day with us but for the rest of the week I would be on my own.

So I guess what I am really asking here is for input from any parents that have done a trip with kids on there own, and not that I don’t have respect for the single parents out there, but you would be more adapt to handling that. So is there any parents out there that have left there s/o at home and went on there own with kids? What was your experience like? Was it difficult? Is there any recommendations?

Like I said I am a veteran so I am familiar with the parks however not on this level, any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated before I make a decision here.

Generally, I would say 100% go etc. The kids and I go all the time without DH - he doesn't like it. However in this situation of #1, it's not that she doesn't want to go, but that she can't for the sake of expanding the family, and #2 it must be a really risking and vulnerable time for her right now given the situation and what happened less than a year ago.

For those reasons, unless she was REALLY adamant about us going, I wouldn't. I'd wait and plan something not long after the baby was born for everyone to go.

 

[mjkacmom]

I feel like it is a big assumption to think that your wife won't be able to travel based on 1 miscarriage, especially since she should be in at least the 2nd trimester by the time your trip is planned. Check with her doctor and follow their advice, but usually pregnant women are clear to travel, and 1 miscarriage is considered statistically normal.

If your wife is still considered too fragile to travel at that point, I would not go on the trip. I would have been very upset if DH had left me on bedrest to go on vacation.

As for taking 2 kids to WDW alone, people do it all the time. It just depends on how comfortable you are with your kids.

One in five pregnancies end in m/c, my sister had two in a row before getting pregnant with #3, is there a reason why they think she will be on bed rest in November?

 

[Thing 1]

As for doing WDW on your own, there is no reason you could not do so. There would be some logistic to deal with. Neither kid can ride alone. That means different things to different CMs. Sometimes they will let a parent sit right behind the kids and sometimes they have to be in the same car. You would also need to figure out what you are comfortable with as far as bathrooms.
As for your wife. Second trimester is generally the safest and easiest time in a pregnancy. One miscarriage should not change that. That being said, we lost a pregnancy early second trimester and had a child born at 24 weeks. I agree with someone else that if for whatever reason she can’t go, I would not leave her. Push it back till the baby is about 6 mo old and then go.