Ok.
Time to add a lil sumpin. Sumpin. To this.
Tripe.
'Cause I just realized that I've been writing this. On and off. Mostly OFF. For about a YEAR now.
And we've got another trip comin' up pretty soon.
I'm going to try to finish it. Beforehand.
And... pull myself outta this posting slump.
Which, I'm SURE will make ZZUB happy. OR not.
MY GRUMP! MY GRUMP! My lovely Bama GRUMP!!!
Ok.
It was GO TIME!!!
Mission SINISE!!!!
I was ready to RIDE. Errrrr... THE RIDE.
I was pumped.
MY PUMP'd! MY PUMP'd! MY lovely lady PUMP'd!!!!
I'm ALSO pumped to write this installment.
Especially because... since I started writing this dog.... I've actually MET Gary Sinise.
In the flesh.
I got to see him and the Lt. Dan Band at Casino Rama last summer. And, also, recently in Niagara Falls.
I got to dance on the stage to "Lady Marmalade". Right BESIDE Gary.
In very kick-butt boots.
And... when the song was over... he grabbed my hand. Pulled me very close. And whispered in my ear, "Be careful on the STAIRS, Honey!"!!!!!
Oh yeah.
It was awesome!!!!
I immediately fell down all of them... into a happyhaunt heap of blond hair, ripped jeans, vintage 70's clothing and too much eyeliner.
Or did I?
NO.
Didn't fall. I couldn't have. I was literally FLOATING!!!! Like the head in the crystal ball. Haunted Mansion style.
But... with better colouring. And less creepy... D. TFI.
Word.
So... I was off to face my Capcom. With Calvin.
We ran. There was no line. So to speak of.
And were ushered into the Pre-Show room. To stand on our dots on the floor. Facing the screen and the Mission Space Suits. At the front of the room.
There were two people in front of us.
A woman and a man.
They were middle-aged. And the woman looked really nervous. She kept turning around to talk to her husband(?). With that really tight face. That I immediately took for butterflies in the stomach.
Or Teppanyaki ginger sauce.
I was hoping she'd make it through the whole ride. Without having to make a dash for Canada.
(I'd insert a catchy tune which might or might not have the word "dump" in it. But... I'm tryin' to be tasteful(ish)-like here. For a change.)
That's right.
Quickly both Calvin and I realized that both the woman and the man did NOT speak Canadian. English.
It was because I started talking to them about the ride being really fun. And that we'd been on it PLENTY of times. Without feeling sick.
I also added that sometimes Calvin just threatens to throw up. But... that's just for effect. Just to ramp up the FUN FACTOR for the other members of our Mars Team.
They stared blankly at Me(l).
And said something in Russian.
I think.
NO MATTER!!!!
To the happyhaunts.
Because:
We IGNORE LANGUAGE BARRIERS!!!
So... we kept talking.
They started nodding. And darting glances at each other.
I'm trying to say this: We all BONDED. In the Pre-Show.
I think.
Then Gary came on. In his tight jacket and black turtle neck. Dressed very similar to My General. But he looked really GOOD!!!
And I squealed. A little.
Like Mellyman.
NOMellyman.
Then we headed out for our capsule. Just the four of us.
NOT TWO... FOUR.
There was FOUR of us. Going.
They were still with Calvin and I.
We waited to load up.
The woman kept saying something important to her husband. Grabbing his arm. And looking all stressed out.
I'm sure it was because she was scared.
Of US.
Heh heh.
More than likely she was nervous about riding Mission Sinise.
Which is, I'm sure, how she NOW believes everyone in America pronounces "Mission Space". In english.
Then.
And this wasn't very nice.
Her husband grabbed HER ARM. And harshly barked something back at her.
She clammed up. And got ready to ride.
Nice. Guy.
I called him Alexei Baldwin. In my head. For the remainder of our ride.
I also called our group: Voshhod 3.
And Calvin and I: Belka and Strelka. After the space dogs.
We entered our shuttle(ish) thingie.
Calvin was the engineer. I was next... the Commander. Then the Alexei who was the pilot. Then his nervous wife... our navigator.
We started. The ride.
And... the lift off. Which stirs something in me. Just like New Orleans does.
It stirs my heart. And makes me really excited. Happy! And I feel really alive.
Alexei... I suddenly sensed... was FREAKED OUT.
Because he seemed frozen. Unable to push his buttons. When called upon!!!!
There was NO WAY Calvin and I wanted Manual Override. To hamper our mission.
We... errrr I... yelled "PUSH YOUR BUTTON!!!! PUSH YOUR BUTTON!!!! PROMDATE!!!!"
To Alexei.
Who did NOTHING.
Except yell to his wife that he wasn't feeling well. NOCalvin.
Heh heh.
What goes around, comes around. My dear middle son.
At least...I figured that's what he was yelling to her.
I screamed, "NYET!!!! NYET!!! You're NOT gonna BLOW!!!!"
In the meantime... during all this... I got to perform first stage separation and then manual flight control sleepmode.
While... Alexei did NOTHIN'!!!!
MY CHUMP! MY CHUMP!!! My lovely promdate CHUMP!!!!
His wife was fine.
BTW.
And, in the end, so was our mission.
Despite his one manual override.
Yep.
Just one.
ONE.
Because I did this on the second: I reached over and pressed his freakin' button. For him.
Yep.
I backseat drove. Our freakin' shuttle.
Just like I help Mellyman drive. Our car. Our boat. And, sometimes, even... his bike.
I would have also cut his food. Given half a chance.
I think.
But... in the end... our Mission to Mars was successful. No thanks to Alexei.
My promdate.
We exited with the rest of the space crews.
I congratulated Mrs. Alexei on her performance.
I smiled and winked at Alexei.
And told him that we'd be back to ride this, again, in about a half an hour. If they wanted to join us.
NYET.
Was the response. I believe.
Cheers, Melly.
Roll Tide!!!!