Anyone else counting the days until they send their kid to college?

mom2rtk

Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
DD went away to boarding school for her junior year of high school last August. It was haaaaard letting my 15 year old at the time go 150 miles away to live in a dorm. She has had a great experience so far, and will spend the summer living at school doing a summer lab research project with a biochemistry professor at UNC. We will only get her back for 2 weeks, then she is back at school for her senior year.

Our only issue right now is trying to get her to commit to applying to more schools than the few she has already decided on. We want her to have choices, and we also want to be able to see what different schools offer in the way of scholarship $$ and financial aid. Right now, her SAT scores have assured her free tuition at one school here in the Southeast, but it definitely would not be her first choice to attend. She is not interested in discussing her options right now, and I think it is out of fear of the future. We are telling her she needs to make some decisions now, since we have a very small window of time in which to go to campus visits.

She sounds like a very busy girl. It must be hard when she only has a bit of down time. Hopefully the motivation will kick in soon.
 

CanadianPaco

I miss my tags!
Joined
Jun 12, 2005
This is a great thread! 85 days for us - some days are better some days are worse. It's been an interesting senior year! So different than 1987!:coffee:
 

lauradis

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 20, 2012
Im so happy my two oldest left. lol One more to go and she is only in the 7th grade. ugh.

the first one to leave I had a mental count down, but 24 hr after she left I was sad her childhood was over. I missed her for about 48 hrs, then I washed the laundry and did the dishes and realized I will have less clean up after her to do. woo hoo happy dance. She call/text we get to see each other for couple of hours here and there and its perfect. less drama, more friendship.

The second one to leave, left me before the count down... She came to me and asked me if "dad" would be mad at her if she moved in with her boyfriend. lol Well she moved half her cloths out the next day, that was 3 years ago and they still live together. I did cry a little the first 48 hrs, but then again less work and she calls and text all the time.

Its important for them to leave and have their own lives away from mommy and daddy. I want them to be free and enjoy life.
 
  • SLP958

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 14, 2012
    This makes me feel so much better about my future!
    I already fear being a mess when my kids go but so glad to hear that lots of folks are actually ready for it!!
     

    teller80

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 13, 2012
    I have to sigh at the posters who have rising Seniors who say they will be so sad next year when it's time for their child to leave for college. Remember when you were pregnant and you said to yourself, "my kid will never do that!", or "My kids will LISTEN to my words of wisdom," and life didn't happen that way at all? I want to let those posters know your time is coming. Trust those of us who have the t-shirt on this one. There really is a change their senior year, and like another poster said its a way for them to separate easier. I counted down the days till my daughter left, and every summer when she came home the first two weeks were magical and then it was like - tick tick tick when are you leaving?
     

    Southernmiss

    I am hazed everyday
    Joined
    Aug 27, 2011
    I have to sigh at the posters who have rising Seniors who say they will be so sad next year when it's time for their child to leave for college. Remember when you were pregnant and you said to yourself, "my kid will never do that!", or "My kids will LISTEN to my words of wisdom," and life didn't happen that way at all? I want to let those posters know your time is coming. Trust those of us who have the t-shirt on this one. There really is a change their senior year, and like another poster said its a way for them to separate easier. I counted down the days till my daughter left, and every summer when she came home the first two weeks were magical and then it was like - tick tick tick when are you leaving?
    My second ds is going to college in 2 months. He's always been an easy going child and truly we've not experienced the 'soiling the nest' phenomenon with him. He's fun to be around and I'm not looking forward to him leaving. Of course I won't stop him, but dang I don't know where these 18 years have gone.

    His brother is much more high strung and has been at college for 3 years.We did experience a little 'soiling the nest' with him, and our house got drastically quieter when he left. But I so love having him home when he's on break.
     
  • JanaDee

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 20, 2013
    I have to sigh at the posters who have rising Seniors who say they will be so sad next year when it's time for their child to leave for college. Remember when you were pregnant and you said to yourself, "my kid will never do that!", or "My kids will LISTEN to my words of wisdom," and life didn't happen that way at all? I want to let those posters know your time is coming. Trust those of us who have the t-shirt on this one. There really is a change their senior year, and like another poster said its a way for them to separate easier. I counted down the days till my daughter left, and every summer when she came home the first two weeks were magical and then it was like - tick tick tick when are you leaving?
    OMG yes! DH and I would be quite happy if DS left for college next week.
     

    Luvchefmic

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 1, 2006
    This thread doesn't apply to my life at all now. I just wanted to take a trip down memory lane and lend some support.
    My girls are 21 months apart. Great kids, didn't experience the terrible twos. Nothing. They certainly had opinions, but were respectful. And then...When the eldest was a Sr. I was convinced Linda Blair from the Exorcist had taken over.
    Arguments over clothes, boys, food, TV, the phone, the color of the sky it was an insane asylum. They were going to miss each other. 20/20 I get it, they get it, but the last few months of Sr. year I wouldn't wish on anyone.
     

    lovetoscrap

    Sees tag fairy posts that aren't there.
    Moderator
    Joined
    Feb 15, 2003
    This makes me feel so much better about my future!
    I already fear being a mess when my kids go but so glad to hear that lots of folks are actually ready for it!!
    I was totally ready for it!
    Until I hugged her cranky highness goodbye, then I had to fight back tears.
    Then she made some snarky comment so I was completely ready to walk away and leave her there.
    And then I cried on and off for the next few days.
     

    Gr8t Fan

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 7, 2009
    I love this thread. It makes me believe that I'm not the only sucky parent in the world, lol.
    Me too. Like I said earlier, I truly felt like an alien on the college thread last year because everyone was so sad their kids were getting ready to leave. One mom vented her frustration about a situation with her daughter, I came out of lurkdom on the thread to commiserate, and she quickly came back to post that all is well and I got the vibe that I misinterpreted her post. In fact, I think the only support I got was from mom2rtk who said almost the same thing then that she said now, that kids being so ornery and mean were nature's way of preparing us for the separation. :)

    Anyway, DH and I did everything we could with our eldest growing up, never really had ANY problems with her at all during childhood, but she more than made up for it by the time senior year rolled around. Time and distance are the only things that can heal our relationship. And I can't wait until she has teenagers to raise. She'll get NO sympathy from us ;)!
     
  • Donnainnj

    Loves having an AP
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2001
    Depends on the day! Honestly, I'm more worried about my 4 and 12-year-old than anything else. My 12-year-old doesn't even want to talk about sis leaving, and the little one doesn't understand what's going to happen yet. :(
    I am right there with you. I have a 7 year old that I expect to take it really hard. We went to the senior awards breakfast and the Senior advisor was getting emotional while she spoke. DS 7 had tears running down his face. Poor guy. Later he asked if it was sadder to go to high school or college.
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    I was totally ready for it!
    Until I hugged her cranky highness goodbye, then I had to fight back tears.
    Then she made some snarky comment so I was completely ready to walk away and leave her there.
    And then I cried on and off for the next few days.

    I think it's the conflicted nature of those emotions that makes it all so hard. :sad:
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    Me too. Like I said earlier, I truly felt like an alien on the college thread last year because everyone was so sad their kids were getting ready to leave. One mom vented her frustration about a situation with her daughter, I came out of lurkdom on the thread to commiserate, and she quickly came back to post that all is well and I got the vibe that I misinterpreted her post. In fact, I think the only support I got was from mom2rtk who said almost the same thing then that she said now, that kids being so ornery and mean were nature's way of preparing us for the separation. :)

    Anyway, DH and I did everything we could with our eldest growing up, never really had ANY problems with her at all during childhood, but she more than made up for it by the time senior year rolled around. Time and distance are the only things that can heal our relationship. And I can't wait until she has teenagers to raise. She'll get NO sympathy from us ;)!

    I'm glad it helped. Sounds like you needed this thread last year. :)

    I at least have the perspective of our oldest 2 having such different personalities from one another that I wouldn't believe they had the same parents if I hadn't delivered them both myself. :p So now when I see those different experiences reported from other parents I just chalk it up to differing kids' personalities.

    I hope your DD had a great first year at school.
     

    StitchBuddy

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 16, 2010
    Thank everyone for all the replies!!! Like another poster said, we have good and bad days. Trying to enjoy the good ones!! I know will be sad when the house is quiet and she is off at college. However, we are older parents, so I think we are ready for a little quiet and a slower pace. LOL!!
     
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    sj&k

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Feb 17, 2007
    Wow, I could have written this myself! Mine is also an only child too.
    I'm glad I'm not alone! In my heart, I know I'm going to miss her-she's my TV and shopping buddy and I love her sense of humor and our talks. But right now, I kind of want to leave her on campus when we go to her orientation on Friday...maybe she'll find some new people to argue with while she's there!
     

    Arielle22

    <font color=red>We have had spirits<br><font color
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2000
    My daughters are junior and senior in college. Both lived at a college 3.5 hours away. Last January older one decided to transfer to a commuter college so she was home. I miss the months when both were away. I don't think cleaning up after yourself is too much to ask. Younger one is a social butterfly who likes to hang out with her friends at our house.

    Older DD is forever rolling her eyes at me. No matter what I say, she disagrees with. The other day I left her speechless because she agreed with me and didn't have a comeback. I thought she was going to stop breathing and keel over.

    I love both my girls but I think my mom gave me the curse of "I hope you have daughters just like you". Unfortunately my mom has passed on so I can't apologize for what i put her through.
     

    pigletto

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 27, 2007
    Today would be one of the days I mentioned earlier that are making it much easier to picture her moving out. I'd be a really bad mom if I made a ticker to count down to move in day ,wouldn't I?:scratchin
     

    JanaDee

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 20, 2013
    Today would be one of the days I mentioned earlier that are making it much easier to picture her moving out. I'd be a really bad mom if I made a ticker to count down to move in day ,wouldn't I?:scratchin
    Right there with you! Some of the bone-headed actions and decisions leave me speechless.
     

    Rhombus

    Registered
    Joined
    Jun 2, 2015
    DD finished her sophomore year in March and doesn't go back until mid September. She's in a 5 year program that alternates 6 months of class and 6 months of work. Anyway, she's been driving me crazy since March, although she's starting to get better.

    NO, your slacker boyfriend can't live here, even if he's willing to pay a generous $100 per month.
    NO, he's not welcome to hang out here and play video games while you're not home. (We came home to find him and some other strange guy playing Xbox in our living room.)
    YES, you are expected to spend at least 3 or 4 hours a week helping around the house.
    YES, you will clean up after yourself after dirtying 4 or 5 pots and pans and a dozen dishes making spaghetti from a box and sauce from a jar.
    NO, you won't leave the uneaten food in the pots to spoil and splatters all over the stove and counter.
    I don't care if you decide to eat out after you said you'd be home for dinner, but a text letting me know about your change of plans is not unreasonable.

    And probably a dozen more things.

    She wasn't like this after freshman year. :crazy2:
     

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