Anyone getting married before their Wedding?

[chell]

chell - no, he had defaulted on his life insurance long ago. "When I am dead, what do I care about what happens to you?"

Hence, the separation for over 10 years before I met my wonderful Disney Prince.

Still working on his estate - but I am coming out better as a widow than a divorcee.

Sorry to hear that. So glad to hear that you have your Prince now!!!

 

[kingLouiethe1]

My partner and I are actually getting married tomorrow as soon as it becomes legal for same sex couples to do so in California. We're actually doing it as a security thing to make sure we are married, but we are actually having a big wedding in May of next year.

I made the mistake of telling an annoying friend and he said "then your wedding won't count because you'll already be married." I was having a hard time deciding who to put in our wedding party, he made that decision real easy

Think of one as the civil union, and the other as the spiritual union. The spiritual one will always be the more important.

 

[chell]

My partner and I are actually getting married tomorrow as soon as it becomes legal for same sex couples to do so in California. We're actually doing it as a security thing to make sure we are married, but we are actually having a big wedding in May of next year.

I made the mistake of telling an annoying friend and he said "then your wedding won't count because you'll already be married." I was having a hard time deciding who to put in our wedding party, he made that decision real easy

Think of one as the civil union, and the other as the spiritual union. The spiritual one will always be the more important.

Congrats to both of you!!!

 

[camara381]

Hey there, DF and I have actually been married for 3 years. We had the civil ceremony right before we moved in together. The only ones we told were our brothers. We are planning the dis wedding for sept. 09.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

My partner and I are actually getting married tomorrow as soon as it becomes legal for same sex couples to do so in California. We're actually doing it as a security thing to make sure we are married, but we are actually having a big wedding in May of next year.

I made the mistake of telling an annoying friend and he said "then your wedding won't count because you'll already be married." I was having a hard time deciding who to put in our wedding party, he made that decision real easy

Think of one as the civil union, and the other as the spiritual union. The spiritual one will always be the more important.

congrats to you both! i think that's fabulous! keep us updated on your wedding plans!

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

we got married last august 3rd at the courthouse..we are having a VR on the Wonder B2B with 15 friends who I would have wanted to come to our wedding..I am so excited for our wedding!!

6 weeks!!

 

[kingLouiethe1]

Well all of you guys have made me feel better about getting married before our wedding (except Ember) thanks!

J/K Ember, thanks for a different perspective

 

[Stephanie218]

My DH and I got married January 4, and we're having the big reception next June ('09), so about a year and a half later. His best friend and my sister came out, and we just did a small ceremony on the beach in La Jolla. All the family knew about it, so it's not a secret. DH deploys this summer, so I need to be on all the papers...

We're calling the big reception a vow renewal since it's so far from our actual wedding. I definitely don't regret doing this though, it will be so much less pressure next year. I still wish my parents had been there though.

 

[kingLouiethe1]

My DH and I got married January 4, and we're having the big reception next June ('09), so about a year and a half later. His best friend and my sister came out, and we just did a small ceremony on the beach in La Jolla. All the family knew about it, so it's not a secret. DH deploys this summer, so I need to be on all the papers...

We're calling the big reception a vow renewal since it's so far from our actual wedding. I definitely don't regret doing this though, it will be so much less pressure next year. I still wish my parents had been there though.

Wow! Is that you guys in the picture? That is such a great visual!

 

[Ember]

Well all of you guys have made me feel better about getting married before our wedding (except Ember) thanks!

J/K Ember, thanks for a different perspective

I'm sorry!

I guess I just don't see the need for secrecy, which was a big component in this thread where people had to promise not to tell, no one knew, etc. I don't see why a wedding in this case can't be what it is: a vow renewal rather than a marriage ceremony. I think the dishonesty isn't necessary. I really don't think anyone would treat it any differently, and if they do then don't invite them. Only someone small would resent someone else being happy and having a celebration of their love. (And wouldn't wish upon anyone what happened to the couple I know. What a memory of your wedding day!)

The invites could read, "Jack and Jill were legally joined on September 1, 2007. Now they're ready to share their joy with the world. Please join them for a public reaffirmation of their vows on...."

What ever you (and everyone else in this thread does) I wish you luck and happiness!

 

[faeriegrl]

Some friends of ours did this for military reasons, which is completely understandable (as is ANY reason, it's your marriage!)

I tend to agree with Ember in this situation. I personally would wonder why I wasn't just told the truth.

Brittany

 

[chell]

I'm sorry!

I guess I just don't see the need for secrecy, which was a big component in this thread where people had to promise not to tell, no one knew, etc. I don't see why a wedding in this case can't be what it is: a vow renewal rather than a marriage ceremony. I think the dishonesty isn't necessary. I really don't think anyone would treat it any differently, and if they do then don't invite them. Only someone small would resent someone else being happy and having a celebration of their love. (And wouldn't wish upon anyone what happened to the couple I know. What a memory of your wedding day!)

The invites could read, "Jack and Jill were legally joined on September 1, 2007. Now they're ready to share their joy with the world. Please join them for a public reaffirmation of their vows on...."

What ever you (and everyone else in this thread does) I wish you luck and happiness!

The reason for the secrecy is that I do not want our legal commitment to take away from our actually Wedding ceremony. I'm not being dishonest with anyone, if they ask I will tell them. But I've seen it before where people who have already been married still have their ceremony and people don't get as into it and/or don't take it as seriously.

Yes, I did make my sister promise not to tell our mother. If you knew our family you would understand. Each person has their personal reasons for who they want to tell and who they don't, that doesn't mean the are being deceptive. In my case, it is that I know my family well enough that this is the best way to do things.

My mother was the one who told me just under two weeks ago that if we choose to get married before November that we should just keep it between us and not tell anyone, including her.

 

[Lorelei528]

Michelle-
I couldn't have said it better!! I was waiting until I could compose my thoughts so I could post but you really said what I wanted to say..

Besides, everyone has their own reasons for how, when, why, where and who they marry...in fact, my brother and sister in law had a civil ceremony then a month later had both a jewish and a catholic ceremony and a huge party..

To be honest, though it may be a legal ceremony, without Eoghan's family there, without us choosing what we want to say, without any acknowledgement of my father and his brother who have passed away, it is more like a marriage ceremony to me than a wedding...that will come next May 1!

Basically we would have waited until May 1 to get married, but for immigration reasons we want to get married sooner than that...this is what is best for us, and what feels right. Someone once told me "everyone should do what feels right to them and only do what feels right"....

If others don't understand, that's ok. Even my brother told me..you have the wedding you want, where you want and when you want, if people don't want to come or can't make it, then so be it. It's your day...

I could go on and on but really when it comes down to it, it is up to the happy couple who and when to tell their great and exciting news to. Well, that's my opinion anyway..

Lots of love-
Lori

 

[chell]

Thanks Lori! I don't want anything to take away from our actual Wedding Ceremony so I think it will help to have the legal aspect and all the paperwork out of the way. Besides, this way I know for certain I'll have everything in my new name before we Honeymoon.

Wishing you the best of luck! I can't wait to hear all about your Wedding!!!

 

[Princesspunkin]

We actually got married in Feb 08 due to my DH having surgery. Our Disney wedding will actually be our 6 month wedding aniversary. Everyone Knows we are marries and the reason why but the are still excited about the Disney wedding.

 

[Stephanie218]

Wow! Is that you guys in the picture? That is such a great visual!

Yup, that's us! That's just one my sister took...the prof. photos were amazing. La Jolla is absolutely gorgeous, and was a great backdrop!

 

[smoof]

My friend did this because they were in the military, and in order to be stationed together they needed to be married. I was one of two people who knew this. It caused them and the two of us who knew so much stress. If you do this, be honest with your family and friends, at least your immediate family and close friends. Tell them the reason and how much it means to you for them to join you. You expressed it so well in your post.

 

[OceanGdss]

my DF's cousing just did this same thing. I don't really have an opinion either way in the situation. But I know it would have been a lot less stressful for her and all of the family that knew (most STILL don't know) if she had just told everyone. Now its turned into a big secret that has already caused a little damage within a very tightly knit family. DF and I won't even tell anyone that knows that we know. We'd rather just stay out of it all.

 

[chipscinderelly]

My sister and her husband were married in my parents backyard 5 - 6 months before their actual wedding due to some visa/immigration reasons as my BIL is Jamaican. The only guests at the legal ceremony were immediate family and then they had 50 plus guests in Jamaica for their "real wedding". None of the guests seemed slighted at all that they were legal in the US. The 'real wedding' was a true celebration and everyone treated it that way.

 

[disneyberry]

My fiance and I went down to NYC city hall and got our marriage certificate one morning last December for insurance and tax purposes.

Note that I call it "getting a certificate". It was the crappiest dumpy dimly-lit crowded building, and the person who took us into a private room to ask "Do you take this ___ to be your lawfully wedded ___?" sounded and acted like Roz from Monsters Inc. We had one witness, my brother. We all cracked up about the Roz thing afterwards, and then just went on with our regular day.

So, no, that was not our wedding at all. We applied for a government document, that's all. I can't even remember what the heck the date was, and that's fine 'cause who cares?

Our wedding will be in October, with our families and friends there.

As for keeping it a secret... why is there even a need to tell anyone that you applied for and got a document from the government stating your union is legal? That's totally irrelevant. Why anyone would be upset that they weren't told that is beyond me...

I suppose it depends on how you treated it. For us, it was a whatever we got a document thing. LOL