Are manners becoming extinct?

[dez1978]

From a personal perspective, I'm very frequently told by people my boys interact with that they are very polite, well mannered boys. I always joke that I'm relieved, since they don't act like that at home

lol, same!!

 

[Micca]

People seem friendly & polite in my small flight path. Have a little empathy with people and it make a difference. DD is doing a good job with the grandkids, they are very polite which makes me proud of them and DD

 

[CdnCarrie]

I find that people that go on about manners and children are usually the rude ones. Usually very judgemental type of personalities.

 

[john7994]

Manners are optional and for suckers … hammer to the head - hilarious - someone exhibiting or having a stroke - laughable - isn’t that what we are being taught these days?

 

[Kennywood]

or insulting to the woman. same thing with holding a door open for a woman-i personally know men whose common practice was if they were approaching a door ahead of a woman they would automatically open it and hold it open for the woman to enter prior to themselves. now they have seen or experienced being verbally berated for it so they have to balance the risk of being perceived by some as rude/others as sexist and insulting. no win situation.

I was taught to do this and still do it to this day. It's disheartening when there are those, though, who don't even bother to acknowledge the gesture with a simple, "Thank you." One time, however, a woman really pushed me over the edge.

I was walking into the mall one day. As I usually do, I glanced back to see if anyone was coming behind me. I saw that an older woman was coming, so I paused and held the door open for her. She walked up to me, stopped, and said, "Young man! I am quite capable of opening my own doors!" For some reason, that sort of insult really burned me. So, I replied, "Fine!" I walked through the door and let it close in her face. When I got inside, I again glanced back to see the woman still standing then both angry and confused.

I don't hold the door open for women because they aren't capable. I do it as a sign of respect. As I sometimes tell my wife, "It's not that you can't do it. It's that you don't have to do it."

 

[Moliphino]

or insulting to the woman. same thing with holding a door open for a woman-i personally know men whose common practice was if they were approaching a door ahead of a woman they would automatically open it and hold it open for the woman to enter prior to themselves. now they have seen or experienced being verbally berated for it so they have to balance the risk of being perceived by some as rude/others as sexist and insulting. no win situation.

I hold the door open for anyone close behind me, not just women. I don't always step-aside and let them through first, unless they're carrying something. I'll pause and hold the door behind me until they can get ahold of it themselves.

 

[georgina]

I was taught to do this and still do it to this day. It's disheartening when there are those, though, who don't even bother to acknowledge the gesture with a simple, "Thank you." One time, however, a woman really pushed me over the edge.

I was walking into the mall one day. As I usually do, I glanced back to see if anyone was coming behind me. I saw that an older woman was coming, so I paused and held the door open for her. She walked up to me, stopped, and said, "Young man! I am quite capable of opening my own doors!" For some reason, that sort of insult really burned me. So, I replied, "Fine!" I walked through the door and let it close in her face. When I got inside, I again glanced back to see the woman still standing then both angry and confused.

I don't hold the door open for women because they aren't capable. I do it as a sign of respect. As I sometimes tell my wife, "It's not that you can't do it. It's that you don't have to do it."

Ah, but why do you get to decide what others don't have to do? If someone has their arms full, or little kids to shepherd, by all means hold the door. But not just because the person behind you is a woman! Yuk! If you wouldn't do it for a man, you really don't need to act like that for a woman.

I hold the door open for anyone close behind me, not just women. I don't always step-aside and let them through first, unless they're carrying something. I'll pause and hold the door behind me until they can get ahold of it themselves.

And that is what most people do. But to make some grand gesture of stepping back to make a woman go in front of you is creepy.

 

[cabanafrau]

I just try to pay attention and hold the door if someone is approaching, anyone. Depending on situation and logistics sometimes I hold it and let them go ahead, sometimes I pause to let them catch up and enter the door as I have my hand holding it open behind me as I enter.

Other than that I don't spend much time doing the mental arithmetic regarding the intent of people who may or may not hold the door for me as I approach, or their choices regarding ushering me in ahead of them or holding the door behind them. Math can be difficult and assumptions . . .

 

[sam_gordon]

I swear we just had this conversation a couple months ago.

EVERY generation (doesn't mean every person) thinks the younger generations lack manners. You can go back to quotes from hundreds of years ago.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Manners are optional and for suckers … hammer to the head - hilarious - someone exhibiting or having a stroke - laughable - isn’t that what we are being taught these days?

Who is teaching this and where?

I swear we just had this conversation a couple months ago.

EVERY generation (doesn't mean every person) thinks the younger generations lack manners. You can go back to quotes from hundreds of years ago.

Yup and it's the same couple of pearl clutching posters.

 

[TippyThomas]

And stay off my lawn!!!

 

[Smugpugmug]

I swear we just had this conversation a couple months ago.

EVERY generation (doesn't mean every person) thinks the younger generations lack manners. You can go back to quotes from hundreds of years ago.

That was my thought too lol this thread reminded me of a thread that appeared on Reddit yesterday where people were discussing how millennials are raising the generation with the worst behavior (they called these kids 'iPad kids').

In my head, I was like "You guys know the generation before you thought that you guys were the worst, right?"

 

[sam_gordon]

It was five months ago. Started by the same OP... https://www.disboards.com/threads/are-“good-manners”-a-thing-of-the-past.3882485/

 

[cabanafrau]

That was my thought too lol this thread reminded me of a thread that appeared on Reddit yesterday where people were discussing how millennials are raising the generation with the worst behavior (they called these kids 'iPad kids').

In my head, I was like "You guys know the generation before you thought that you guys were the worst, right?"

Rock and Roll holligans? Long-haired hooligans? TV kids? Take your pick.

 

[BayouQueen]

I just had an old friend text me asking me to call and catch up, as she's getting a manicure and "tethered to the manicure table."
I'm not sure who that is ruder to, me or the manicurist. And who could be that self-important?

I truly don't know what to think anymore.

 

[georgina]

I just had an old friend text me asking me to call and catch up, as she's getting a manicure and "tethered to the manicure table."
I'm not sure who that is ruder to, me or the manicurist. And who could be that self-important?

I truly don't know what to think anymore.

I have only been in a nail salon once, but it was staffed by women of Asian descent and they spoke to each other in a language I don't know, so I'm not sure it would be rude to the manicurist. She didn't speak to me at all after I sat down.

 

[cabanafrau]

I just had an old friend text me asking me to call and catch up, as she's getting a manicure and "tethered to the manicure table."
I'm not sure who that is ruder to, me or the manicurist. And who could be that self-important?

I truly don't know what to think anymore.

I see how you can look at it that way.

How about flipping the script? Your friend's point of view may be -- I finally have a few minutes to myself, now I have a chance to catch up with my friend. Surely if she's an old friend it's a longstanding friendship for a reason, so why wouldn't you try to look at her from a positive perspective, why wouldn't something positive be your first inclination?

 

[Allison]

I find that people that go on about manners and children are usually the rude ones. Usually very judgemental type of personalities.

I would agree with this.

 

[Allison]

It was five months ago. Started by the same OP... https://www.disboards.com/threads/are-“good-manners”-a-thing-of-the-past.3882485/

I guess they really want to talk about manners.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It was five months ago. Started by the same OP... https://www.disboards.com/threads/are-“good-manners”-a-thing-of-the-past.3882485/

It was May 2022 so I guess it's still been on their mind 1 1/2 years later