Are manners becoming extinct?

[ronandannette]

I was born in the Northeast, raised by parents from the Northeast and I was also taught manners from birth. The South doesn't have some sort of monopoly on manners.

Hard to believe, but we even have them in completely different countries. I think most of them would be pretty uniform, too, except maybe whether or not the ubiquitous use of the terms "Sir" and/or "Ma'am" is always mandatory.

 

[Living42Day]

It's rudest to the rest of the customers in the nail salon who don't want to listen to her conversation. Nothing drives me more crazy than people having full on extensive conversations in salons, waiting rooms, doctor offices, etc.

It's rude, but if I am by myself I use it as an opportunity to eavesdrop. I'm super nosey, and if people are going to talk loud enough for me to listen in then better for me lol

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

I think it's more that people are more casual these days in their interactions. 30 years ago people wore suits for my profession and now it's not uncommon to see someone wearing a t-shirt/jeans. The same work is getting done; we just don't feel the need to put on a front about it.

I feel like a lot of the "sir/maam" and other communication cues that might have older generations clutching their pearls are the same thing. If we are family we know exactly where we stand with each other so why put on a show about it? It comes across as fake.

 

[nancipants]

If a man is far ahead of me and holds a door open for me, I get annoyed because then I feel like I have to rush forward to not make him wait.

And yes, it can come across as creepy when you are alone. The world is a dangerous place, unfortunately.

 

[leahgoogle]

Both my son and my hubby still open doors. My son because I raised him to, hubby didn't do it before we got together but it's second nature to him now. The first time he did it for his mom she about fell over. To be fair, they both open doors for both men and women. But I was raised in the south by southern parents who were raised by southern parents, etc. so manners were taught at birth. My son actually got in trouble in the Navy for saying sir when he wasn't supposed to. Finally his superiors were just, you know what, we know you were raised in the south (as if his accent didn't give that away) so we are going to give you a pass. He told them thanks, since he knew somehow I would know if he didn't say it. My brother's girls were born and lived in New York State until they were around 5 or 6 so they just said yes and no to adults. It didn't take them long to learn that wouldn't work with me or my mama or even my son. Why my brother didn't teach them to say ma'am and sir when he was raised that way is weird since he still does it.

Are we as a society losing manners, are the idea of what manners are changing? Most likely a little of both, but to quote one of my favorite movies "South Pacific" "you have to be carefully taught".

My son's friend from Louisiana stayed with us a couple days over the summer. He was so polite, "yes, mam" and "no, mam". It was so nice. I was like, those are some southern manners there

 

[longboard55]

The message we get these days for leadership is lie as much as you can and see what you can get away with. Not surprised the young people have no manners

 

[MillauFr]

I've found that the people that are saying manners are going downhill are the ones with the worst manners.

 

[sam_gordon]

If a man is far ahead of me and holds a door open for me, I get annoyed because then I feel like I have to rush forward to not make him wait.

If it was me, A, if you're way behind me, I'm not going to hold the door. B, if I'm holding the door and you don't want me to, simply wave me on or tell me not to wait.

And yes, it can come across as creepy when you are alone. The world is a dangerous place, unfortunately.

Is it just me, or in a thread about manners going away, others are complaining that holding doors open for others can be creepy? Obviously the world is dangerous. But if you get the creepy vibe from someone holding the door open for you, turn around and walk away. However, probably 99.9% of the time it's someone simply trying to be nice.

I'm also one who will hold the door for ANYONE, male or female.

 

[MillauFr]

And don’t forget the poster who has twice posted about how young people have no morals! Guess she’s perfect up there on her high horse.
Finally blocked her.

Isn't it bad manners to block someone???

 

[MillauFr]

Millennials do not need any more stuff blamed on us

Why not? The world was such a wonderful place peaceful place with no wars prior to millennials taking the reigns....

 

[MillauFr]

I don't consider it creepy. It shows respect. I am confident enough in my womanhood to accept a man holding the door for me and letting me go first.

Doesn't it depend on the person whether it is creepy or not?

 

[loves to dive]

I was born in the Northeast, raised by parents from the Northeast and I was also taught manners from birth. The South doesn't have some sort of monopoly on manners.

You are 100% right especially now days. No insult was intended to the rest of the country/world nor did I intend to imply we had a monopoly on manners. The south has just traditionally been known for "nicing" people to within an inch of their lives.

 

[shh]

I don't hold the door open for women because they aren't capable. I do it as a sign of respect. As I sometimes tell my wife, "It's not that you can't do it. It's that you don't have to do it."

I genuinely do not understand how anyone could be insulted at another person kindly holding open a door. I am female and hold the door for everyone - male, female or whatever pronoun they wish to represent. It's just basic courtesy. The men always thank me - about 1/3 to 1/2 the women do.

Geez....I do think some people look for ways to be offended these days.

 

[mjkacmom]

And stay off my lawn!!!

Funny story, our 5 kids are in their 20’s, but loved playing outside when younger, especially sports. Our lots are only 60 feet wide, and the 2 houses on the right have built in pools in their back yards, which take up all if it. The 3 young boys next door and 2 young boys in the ne t house play football and baseball, so we told them and their parents to please play on our front yard so they can have 180 feet to play. I love hearing them out there!

 

[barkley]

Funny story, our 5 kids are in their 20’s, but loved playing outside when younger, especially sports. Our lots are only 60 feet wide, and the 2 houses on the right have built in pools in their back yards, which take up all if it. The 3 young boys next door and 2 young boys in the ne t house play football and baseball, so we told them and their parents to please play on our front yard so they can have 180 feet to play. I love hearing them out there!

so nice of you!

i remember a variation of 'stay off my lawn' being shouted frequently in our old neighborhood- 'stay off our cul-de-sac!'. we lived in a neighborhood with many busy streets with the exception being the 2 cul-de-sacs adjacent to our house. waves of neighborhood kids from other streets would play in them to the absolute frustration of some of the homeowners who would be out constantly on the weekends trying to shoo them away. we had not issue with it-they never ventured on to people's lawns and it only caused a problem if you were trying to back out of your driveway (and a polite 'heads up' to the kids got them to quickly move out of the way).

 

[porschegrl]

I genuinely do not understand how anyone could be insulted at another person kindly holding open a door. I am female and hold the door for everyone - male, female or whatever pronoun they wish to represent. It's just basic courtesy. The men always thank me - about 1/3 to 1/2 the women do.

I think the vast majority of people agree with you. Anyone holding the door for anyone else is kind. Where opinions differ is on a man holding a door for a woman specifically because he's a man and she's a woman. In reality, most of the time you don't know what the door holder is thinking, it's a nice gesture, and you go on with your day. But there are guys out there who make more of a show about holding the door for you, little lady, and that is where the creep factor can come in.

 

[leahgoogle]

Doesn't it depend on the person whether it is creepy or not?

If the person is creepy then anything they do will be creepy. Just the act of holding the door open for a women is not creepy. I guess I was referring to the act and not "creepy" men...lol.

 

[sam_gordon]

I think the vast majority of people agree with you. Anyone holding the door for anyone else is kind. Where opinions differ is on a man holding a door for a woman specifically because he's a man and she's a woman. In reality, most of the time you don't know what the door holder is thinking, it's a nice gesture, and you go on with your day. But there are guys out there who make more of a show about holding the door for you, little lady, and that is where the creep factor can come in.

OK, I'm a guy and as I said, I hold the door for anyone. How do you "make a show about holding the door"? Bowing? Waving an arm inside (as in "this way")?

 

[TippyThomas]

OK, I'm a guy and as I said, I hold the door for anyone. How do you "make a show about holding the door"? Bowing? Waving an arm inside (as in "this way")?

Tipping of the Fedora with a 'mlady'.

 

[barkley]

Tipping of the Fedora with a 'mlady'.

i also want to be formally announced