"Are they real?"

[Leopardchucks]

My son has severe autism, so he does not quite grasp the notion of what exactly "pretend" even means.
I've never tried to convince him that any fantasy character ACTUALLY exists. He still enjoys xmas and Halloween and hugging Disney princesses without the falsehood of them being "real".

At what age do children tell the difference between a drawing and a "real" photograph?

I'm kinda weird though. I dont remember EVER believing in Santa, even when my mother desperately tried to convince me. *shrugs*

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

Well, back in 2015 Elsa and Anna came to visit our older daughter of our 2 younger ones on her 4th birthday. They played games, told stories, painted the girls nails, blew bubbles and ate with them. When we took them for their first visit to WDW in 2016 we were informed that Elsa and Anna moved to Disney by our girls. They think they are real and I won't spoil the magic. These are pics form 2015 when they came to visit.

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I love that these characters did not wear wigs. That's one aspect that, while I can understand logistically, I wish Disney would be behind. I wish the characters would individually look as much as possible like the originals. I fully understand that is difficult to reciprocate, but I think, for the face characters, that that is a big thing that helps to tell a difference. A wig does not look the same as natural hair.

When I was 7 and went to disney and knew about Santa it was how fake Pocahontas looked that was the teller for me. She didn't even look Native American. With some characters, for instance Elsa, when she has brown eyeborws but white hair, I think things like that are telling to some kids. Facial makeup can be faked convincingly, but the wigs they use are difficult to get past.

I think it would be easier to explain the "magic" to our kids if it just didn't look so fake, that's all.

 

[danielocha30]

my then 7 years old highly functional ASD son told me on his fifth trip to Disney “ Mom do you know they are just people in costume ?” as loud as he could be on the sidewalk watching the parade. He has no filters and it works better for him to always be honest, ASD are very literals and is better not to “feed” them fantasies, still I manage to tell him, that they can only be found at Disney, nowhere else and those were the “real” characters. He went along to explain me how face character aren’t the same he saw on the last trip, at this point I pull him into a store and shift his attention toward the pile of toys to make him stop! he was breaking the illusion for ME!

 

[mickeymom629]

I definitely always told my kids that they are "real". The first time we went my kids were 2,4,6 and I was pregnant with #4. DS who was 6 thought the animals on JC were real...okay, I didn't say otherwise and probably said they were. The next time we went, 4 years later, he couldn't wait to ride JC again. I couldn't figure out why and kept saying that we would ride it but that it wasn't going to be until later in the day. When we finally did he was so disappointed to see that the animals weren't real but he was 10 by then and kept the secret from any of his siblings who thought they were real.

When I'm in Disney, the characters and illusions are all "real" to me! It's the Disney magic!

 

[courtney1188]

"Hmmm, they look real to me! What do you think?"

This didn't really work on my five year old, who proceeded to tell Tigger (in front of a bunch of other kids), "Hey, you're a costume!" I told him even if he thinks that, he needs to be careful since hearing that could upset other kids.

When we got home he told his grandparents, "Some of the characters are real, and they can talk. But the characters with glass eyes can't talk because they're just costumes. You can tell because the eyes are glass, they're not real." (I'm not sure why he used the world glass here, but I know what he means - apparently the eyes were the part of non-face characters that allowed him to peg them as not being real.) He doesn't seem bothered by it and all - I think he actually felt smart for figuring it out, haha.

 

[halfpintpeggy]

We’ve shown the girls photos, video footage, stories about Princess Grace, Princess Di, Dutchess Kate, etc. They’ve determined on their own that the Disney princesses are make believe. But they still think they’re magical nonetheless!

 

[OSUZorba]

This is a frequent question from my DD, and I'm not sure how I want to answer it. In situations where I want to reduce the anxiety of a situation (like a haunted house) I'll usually explain how it's not real. But in situations where she's seeing say, Princess Ariel and asks me, "Is it really her?" I'm not sure what I want to say. DW suggests flipping the question back on her with "What do you think?" and letting her decide.

On the one hand, I don't want to destroy the magic, but on the other, I have real issues lying to her. For example, when we go visit Santa Claus, he's one of Santa's helpers, not the real Santa. This also helps with some of the, shall we say, sloppily disguised Santa Claus's.

How do you all handle this or similar questions?

You don't like lying to your DD, so you lie about Santa's being Santa's Helpers, to cover up your much bigger lie about Santa?

I've actually wondered how I am going to handle this situation myself on our next trip to Disney. But I do know I was absolutely devastated when I found out Santa wasn't real, because I couldn't believe my parents had so blatantly lied to me, even when I was asking questions that showed I was ready to know the truth. I remember being very distrustful of them for a long time and questioning a lot of things they had told me. I never believe any of the other holiday characters, but for some reason I bought Santa hook, line and sinker.

 

[Stefien Quix]

You don't like lying to your DD, so you lie about Santa's being Santa's Helpers, to cover up your much bigger lie about Santa?

Wow. Judgemental much?

For your information, I am conflicted about telling her they're Santa's helpers. But I (and my wife since we make these decisions as a team) decided that it was preferable to telling her that Santa wasn't real because Santa is a magical part of the Christmas experience, besides which at her age, there would be every possibility that she would end up telling other children that Santa wasn't real and we weren't comfortable with that possibility either. Also we are ALL Santa's helpers if you really think about it, so it's certainly muddying the water, but it's closer to the truth than saying they're all Santa.

But please, sit on your high horse and judge me some more. It's great, really.

 

[OSUZorba]

Wow. Judgemental much?

For your information, I am conflicted about telling her they're Santa's helpers. But I (and my wife since we make these decisions as a team) decided that it was preferable to telling her that Santa wasn't real because Santa is a magical part of the Christmas experience, besides which at her age, there would be every possibility that she would end up telling other children that Santa wasn't real and we weren't comfortable with that possibility either. Also we are ALL Santa's helpers if you really think about it, so it's certainly muddying the water, but it's closer to the truth than saying they're all Santa.

But please, sit on your high horse and judge me some more. It's great, really.

It was a joke, the whole reason for the tongue emicon.

I really couldn't care less what people tell their kids about Santa. Based on my experience as a kid, I do think parents should tell them the truth when it is obvious the kid has figured it out though, but I still wouldn't judge someone for not.

 

[Miffy]

I find Disney incredibly magical and inspiring, and I'm an adult and I know the characters are CMs dressed in costumes. It doesn't make the experience any less wonderful. In fact, there's a way of looking at it that makes it more wonderful--that someone is using their talents to portray a character, to really embody that character, and to share that character's energy and wonder to as many people as possible.

That may be a bit complex for a small child to understand, but what's wrong with telling your kid the truth? Do they think fictional films are documentaries? Surely they don't think animated films are documentaries. They know it's make-believe. And they might even love the actor portraying the part as well. The CMs in costume are actors portraying a part. Just because they're not famous actors doesn't make them any less lovable.

Just my opinion. Please keep in mind that I'm someone who absolutely doesn't understand the fascination with acting like Santa Claus is "real" and then breaking your kid's heart when they find out you've been BSing them. Santa Claus, like Disney characters, doesn't have to be real in order to be magical and wonderful.

And, you know, isn't it beautiful that some humans invent characters and then others of us get attached to them and love them? That's the magic of storytelling, of reading, of film, and of Disney parks.

 

[Stefien Quix]

It was a joke, the whole reason for the tongue emicon.

I really couldn't care less what people tell their kids about Santa. Based on my experience as a kid, I do think parents should tell them the truth when it is obvious the kid has figured it out though, but I still wouldn't judge someone for not.

The tongue emoji doesn't convey joking to me. I read that emoji as I'm sticking out my tongue at you because I'm disappointed in you or don't like what you're doing. So you might want to consider being a bit more clear when you're making a joke. Especially at the expense of someone else

 

[Stefien Quix]

I find Disney incredibly magical and inspiring, and I'm an adult and I know the characters are CMs dressed in costumes. It doesn't make the experience any less wonderful. In fact, there's a way of looking at it that makes it more wonderful--that someone is using their talents to portray a character, to really embody that character, and to share that character's energy and wonder to as many people as possible.

That may be a bit complex for a small child to understand, but what's wrong with telling your kid the truth? Do they think fictional films are documentaries? Surely they don't think animated films are documentaries. They know it's make-believe. And they might even love the actor portraying the part as well. The CMs in costume are actors portraying a part. Just because they're not famous actors doesn't make them any less lovable.

Just my opinion. Please keep in mind that I'm someone who absolutely doesn't understand the fascination with acting like Santa Claus is "real" and then breaking your kid's heart when they find out you've been BSing them. Santa Claus, like Disney characters, doesn't have to be real in order to be magical and wonderful.

And, you know, isn't it beautiful that some humans invent characters and then others of us get attached to them and love them? That's the magic of storytelling, of reading, of film, and of Disney parks.

I hear way you're saying and you're not wrong. But in my opinion that's not "magical", it's just admirable or inspiring. Two traits that are worthwhile but not the same effect or outcome. Believing in Santa or fairies or even in animated princesses come to life, again in my opinion, allows a child to preserve a more whimsical outlook on life in general, even after the curtain has been pulled back. And that whimsy isn't something you can really recreate after that's happened. So I feel like it's important to have it to draw upon from your childhood experiences.

 

[Miffy]

I hear way you're saying and you're not wrong. But in my opinion that's not "magical", it's just admirable or inspiring. Two traits that are worthwhile but not the same effect or outcome. Believing in Santa or fairies or even in animated princesses come to life, again in my opinion, allows a child to preserve a more whimsical outlook on life in general, even after the curtain has been pulled back. And that whimsy isn't something you can really recreate after that's happened. So I feel like it's important to have it to draw upon from your childhood experiences.

I understand what you're saying, too, and I think it just depends on the person. I myself never had any illusions that characters in movies or at Disney or Santa, etc., were "real," yet I enjoyed them immensely, still enjoy Disney, and in fact write fiction. The characters I create are "real" to me and I hope no less amazing than they would be had I spent the first 4 or 5 or 10 years of my life thinking that Santa is real, for example. The truth is actual beautiful and amazing--to me. Perhaps not for everyone.

 

[Leopardchucks]

I myself never had any illusions that characters in movies or at Disney or Santa, etc., were "real," yet I enjoyed them immensely, still enjoy Disney, and in fact write fiction. The characters I create are "real" to me and I hope no less amazing than they would be had I spent the first 4 or 5 or 10 years of my life thinking that Santa is real, for example. The truth is actual beautiful and amazing--to me. Perhaps not for everyone.

I’d prefer a slightly lovely truth to a fantastical lie any day.
But that’s just how we roll in my family.

We each raise our children how we see fit.
To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to

 

[courtney1188]

The tongue emoji doesn't convey joking to me. I read that emoji as I'm sticking out my tongue at you because I'm disappointed in you or don't like what you're doing. So you might want to consider being a bit more clear when you're making a joke. Especially at the expense of someone else

That is really not a common way to view that emoji. It being used to indicate that someone is joking or being tongue in cheek is super super incredibly common. You’re taking it pretty personally considering they did come out and flat out say it was a joke after you expressed offense.

 

[OSUZorba]

I understand what you're saying, too, and I think it just depends on the person. I myself never had any illusions that characters in movies or at Disney or Santa, etc., were "real," yet I enjoyed them immensely, still enjoy Disney, and in fact write fiction. The characters I create are "real" to me and I hope no less amazing than they would be had I spent the first 4 or 5 or 10 years of my life thinking that Santa is real, for example. The truth is actual beautiful and amazing--to me. Perhaps not for everyone.

When I was 8 or 9 my brother went to WDW with a friend. He knew I loved Donald Duck so he brought me a nice art print signed by Donald. It meant a lot to me and hung on my wall until I went to college, especially since my brother going it off his way for me was pretty uncommon. Well when I was around 25 my brother told me he had signed it himself, not Donald, it really made me sad, even though I never believed the characters were real. Logically there is no difference in my brother signing it and an actor, but hunans aren't fully logical.

My point? Mostly rambling, but I do think it shows you don't have believe the characters are real as a kid to think they are special. (As a side note, I was 27 before meeting Donald myself) Heck even as an adult if I am somewhere that has probably in Disney costumes I think "those aren't the real ones" but at Disney I think of them as the "real" characters. They are the real Disney personification of their characters.

 

[Stefien Quix]

That is really not a common way to view that emoji. It being used to indicate that someone is joking or being tongue in cheek is super super incredibly common. You’re taking it pretty personally considering they did come out and flat out say it was a joke after you expressed offense.

I let it go after they said it was a joke. Why are you saying I'm doing otherwise? All I did was explain why I didn't understand it to be a joke.

You're welcome to think it's "super super incredibly common" but that's not been my experience, so *shrug*. In my experience when someone is making a joke or being tongue in cheek they use the winky emoji. Regardless, it was a jab at my parenting which is in poor form whether it's a joke or not and I still believe someone should be SUPER clear they're making a joke if they're going to start making jokes about how other people parent.

 

[ame6405]

I think the "What do you think?" answer is the best route. If they are asking, they probably know. Kids are smart and observant. My oldest never asked this ever, but my youngest (5) as has asked about several "people" including Santa. I asked her what she thought and she said she thought they were not real and we talked about how just because something is not real it doesn't mean it's not special and doesn't mean we can't still enjoy it. Santa will still come to the house (except this year because the trip to Disney in October is their gift...) and she will still meet Elsa and Anna in Epcot and it will all still be awesome.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

You can say, “she looks pretty real to me”
That’s the truth!

 

[Fern]

The approach we always took with my daughter was more in the "what do you think" vane, but we also play it (and other similar things) in a "isn't it fun to pretend?" way. Similar to how we would play with a baby doll or stuffed animal- we play like it's real, because it's fun.