athrowaway
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
This post is pretty frank about a topic some may not feel comfortable with so be advised. This is part cautionary tale and mostly catharsis. I'm a fairly long-time lurker, sometime poster. I considered just sharing under my own name, but ultimately, I'm just not comfortable with that. I had a set of tickets to see Paul McCartney in Green Bay, WI last weekend. Plans feel through for the person that was accompanying me and with school getting out everyone was busy with graduation parties so I couldn't find anyone else to go. I had considered selling the tickets, but this is kind of a once-in-a lifetime kind of thing so I decided to go alone because traveling alone isn't too big of a deal to me since I do it for work.
I went to Lambeau Field and found my seat between two couples. Everyone was really nice and friendly and the atmosphere was very welcoming which was welcome to me because of my being alone. The concert was fairly good, but of course the excitement was just seeing Paul McCartney live. He left the stage, came back and played 2 more songs. During the second to last song, the husband of one of the couples kept getting really close to me. I didn't think much of it because that happens a lot during concerts. Than it happened, I felt a touch, somewhere there really shouldn't have been. I thought maybe it was just something maybe innocent. Than it happened again, in a very, not innocent way. I backed away. I didn't know what the heck to do. This guys wife was right next to him. I turned around and looked to see if anyone was seeing what was going on. I was shaking and I was just trying to think of a way out without making a scene. It was bleacher-style seating and everyone was standing up in a mass and there wasn't an easy out. The thought that was running through my head is nobody will believe me and I'm going to spoil the concert for everyone. He kept touching me and it happened about 3 more times and I just kept backing away from him. The next song was a slow one and he grabbled my arm and linked it in with his. I pulled my arm away and put it at my side. The concert ended and we started filing out. He asked me to go to the bar with them. I declined.
As soon as we got out to the hall I darted as fast and got myself lost in the crowd. I walked around to the other side of the stadium and didn't see anyone that could help. No event workers, no security, no police or anyone. I was so mad that this person screwed up something that should have been a memory of a lifetime. On my walk I considered calling the police, but I just figured they'd tell me there was nothing they could do. I got back to my hotel room and just sat on the couch for about an hour feeling so angry and sad. I tried to go to bed, but I kept waking up again and again. I got up early and packed up my stuff and just drove home.
I've told a handful of people about it since and I've got uncomfortable silence, it couldn't have been that bad, and pretty much unanimous why didn't you do something about it. I also got a you shouldn't go anywhere alone. I'm sorry, I'm not willing to accept that. I SHOULD be able to go enjoy myself without worrying some perv is going to take advantage. I guess I don't know how I feel entirely at this point. I've been assaulted at gunpoint before and the feelings are just so much different this time. I was just so scared of everything and everyone when that happened. I've done a lot of work to move on from that, but I feel like I don't know where to start again. This time I am just so mad that someone chose to ruin something that should have been an amazing night to remember.
I did a search about stuff like this happening at concerts and it was way more prevalent than I'd ever imagined. The one article I read said the number of concert-goers surveyed at a music festival that said that they had been assaulted or harassed sexually at a concert was over 80%. If there is any takeaway from this it is that, just find a way out, ask someone next to you to switch spots and just get out. Take your phone out and type I need help and show it to another person in the crowd. I guess another obvious thing would to be to not go alone. If you have any teen-aged or college-aged kids that are going to concerts, just warn them that this does happen. I wasn't naïve enough to think these things don't happen, but I never thought it would be me as a middle aged woman at a concert featuring a 77 year old man in Green Bay, Wisconsin of all places. At any rate, thanks for listening.
I went to Lambeau Field and found my seat between two couples. Everyone was really nice and friendly and the atmosphere was very welcoming which was welcome to me because of my being alone. The concert was fairly good, but of course the excitement was just seeing Paul McCartney live. He left the stage, came back and played 2 more songs. During the second to last song, the husband of one of the couples kept getting really close to me. I didn't think much of it because that happens a lot during concerts. Than it happened, I felt a touch, somewhere there really shouldn't have been. I thought maybe it was just something maybe innocent. Than it happened again, in a very, not innocent way. I backed away. I didn't know what the heck to do. This guys wife was right next to him. I turned around and looked to see if anyone was seeing what was going on. I was shaking and I was just trying to think of a way out without making a scene. It was bleacher-style seating and everyone was standing up in a mass and there wasn't an easy out. The thought that was running through my head is nobody will believe me and I'm going to spoil the concert for everyone. He kept touching me and it happened about 3 more times and I just kept backing away from him. The next song was a slow one and he grabbled my arm and linked it in with his. I pulled my arm away and put it at my side. The concert ended and we started filing out. He asked me to go to the bar with them. I declined.
As soon as we got out to the hall I darted as fast and got myself lost in the crowd. I walked around to the other side of the stadium and didn't see anyone that could help. No event workers, no security, no police or anyone. I was so mad that this person screwed up something that should have been a memory of a lifetime. On my walk I considered calling the police, but I just figured they'd tell me there was nothing they could do. I got back to my hotel room and just sat on the couch for about an hour feeling so angry and sad. I tried to go to bed, but I kept waking up again and again. I got up early and packed up my stuff and just drove home.
I've told a handful of people about it since and I've got uncomfortable silence, it couldn't have been that bad, and pretty much unanimous why didn't you do something about it. I also got a you shouldn't go anywhere alone. I'm sorry, I'm not willing to accept that. I SHOULD be able to go enjoy myself without worrying some perv is going to take advantage. I guess I don't know how I feel entirely at this point. I've been assaulted at gunpoint before and the feelings are just so much different this time. I was just so scared of everything and everyone when that happened. I've done a lot of work to move on from that, but I feel like I don't know where to start again. This time I am just so mad that someone chose to ruin something that should have been an amazing night to remember.
I did a search about stuff like this happening at concerts and it was way more prevalent than I'd ever imagined. The one article I read said the number of concert-goers surveyed at a music festival that said that they had been assaulted or harassed sexually at a concert was over 80%. If there is any takeaway from this it is that, just find a way out, ask someone next to you to switch spots and just get out. Take your phone out and type I need help and show it to another person in the crowd. I guess another obvious thing would to be to not go alone. If you have any teen-aged or college-aged kids that are going to concerts, just warn them that this does happen. I wasn't naïve enough to think these things don't happen, but I never thought it would be me as a middle aged woman at a concert featuring a 77 year old man in Green Bay, Wisconsin of all places. At any rate, thanks for listening.