Attacked on the boards

[thruthelookinglass19]

As a society, we've become so polarized (and self-involved) that any opinion that differs from our own is now considered an "attack".

Boy, another time that I wish we could "like" posts as we do on Facebook!!!!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I have to agree with this. Sometimes, people say things that hit you as just bizarre, but that doesn't mean that you have to turn around and beat them over the head with it. What's wrong with just letting it go?

In some cases, I think people react in a nasty way because they believe the poster is pulling their leg (troll?). But, unless you're really sure, why take the chance and be insulting? Give the person the benefit of the doubt.

While I do agree that people are asking for it when they post their dirty laundry on a message board, people could phrase their responses with a bit more tact.

Yes thank you.

 

[beaucoup]

I think it is just interesting... an interesting look at interaction, behavior, etc.

Exactly. A great mix makes a great message board. If we all completely agreed with each other about everything, what would the point be for having a discussion board.

I enjoy others opinions. We may not always agree, but we can just agree to not agree & leave it at that.

 

[NikitaZee]

I have learned that some posters have a much more frank/direct/sarcastic/what-have-you style than others. I have come to expect it from them and not take it personally. As a PP said, use the ignore feature for the ones that bother you the most.

 

[tvguy]

This is a discussion board,and discussions would be pretty boring if everyone posted "yes I agree". Nothing wrong with respectful disagreement.
Me, I do get frustrated when people dispute facts, but you move on.

 

[2girls4me]

Oh how I love these threads. They always turn into "don't go, we'll miss you, please stay.". Ridiculous.

I've seen plenty of threads on here that make me roll my eyes. But I keep it to. Used nd move on. I'm not changing anybody's mind on anything, so why bother.

And yes, I agree with a pp who said don't post tons of personal info on the Internet. I've learned more about your mothers brothers wife's girlfriends neighbors then I care to know, thanks.

 

[mhsjax]

Oh how I love these threads. They always turn into "don't go, we'll miss you, please stay.". Ridiculous.

I've seen plenty of threads on here that make me roll my eyes. But I keep it to. Used nd move on. I'm not changing anybody's mind on anything, so why bother.

And yes, I agree with a pp who said don't post tons of personal info on the Internet. I've learned more about your mothers brothers wife's girlfriends neighbors then I care to know, thanks.

Funny, I missed the post where anyone is begging the Op to stay. Are we reading the same thread?

 

[Tiger926]

I just read through the entire thread, and it's interesting all right!

I am confuzzled though by the OP's intent as a member of a discussion/message board.

Op wants others to play nice on here, and wants to change her screen name, so as to distance herself from her previous posts. She also says that she knows she can't take a break from the boards, as she needs to be here.

If she finds the boards too nasty or difficult, then taking a break is the best solution, or perhaps leaving the boards altogether. Instead, OP wants to create a screen name under which to post under. Hmmm? So her intention is to create a nicer environment for when she returns.

It isn't hard to figure out people's writing styles at all, and if they have distinguishing trademarks, it's really not difficult. I am pretty sure after a short while, people will figure out who she is, so my question is: what then? how is that any different than what has been happening up to this point?

I do wish OP well in finding a way that works for her on the boards. The DIS is full of all kinds of personalities, and so at times, just like it real life, things get difficult, but in that, you must also look at your role in that: what are you posting and what is your reaction to those who post in response to you? are your expectations reasonable? are your reactions reasonable?

I think OP could maybe take a minute to see if her expecations of the DIS work for what it is she is looking for as a member here.

After all of that, I too agree that just leaving is what she should have done, as creating more drama, just seems to add to the toxic environment that she feels exists here.

Tiger

 

[2girls4me]

Funny, I missed the post where anyone is begging the Op to stay. Are we reading the same thread?

H
Not what I said. I've seen threads like this and it's just the op's way of calling attention to him or herself.

 

[Magic Mom]

It sounds from your posts you plan to come back under another username. People will figure out who you are fairly easily (and might even be waiting for your next incarnation ). You'll be right back in the same boat. All that work for nothing, lol. You might be better served to just take a break, put it in perspective, and carry on. If you're crying at home over words on a message board, it's time to take a break. Seriously. Don't let it affect your life like that.

There's a lot of good here, but we've all probably experienced words that have stung us as well. It's kind of the nature of message boards. You have thousands of readers and dozens, if not hundreds, of posters (on any given thread) from different age groups, cultures, places, values, walks of life, etc. Additonally, written words can often come off differently than they may have been intended. Lots of factors to consider. At any rate, take it for what it's worth and don't let it bother you so much.

If that doesn't suit you, remember there were lots of people were trying to be helpful to you and your DD.

Great post!!

 

[luvmy3]

Haven't seen an extended YAGE in awhile.

OP, this is the internet. These are strangers with a wide range of backgrounds and therefore, responses. Not all threads will have people holding hands singing Kumbaya in them. Sometimes the responses are a bit harsh/extreme, some too hand-holding, others are dead-on in their balance, and some responses do hurt because they strike a nerve with some truth to it. This DIS is a place where not everyone agrees nor should it be allowed that the responses are those that "are nice". That's a Pollyanna world.

It's up to you how you CHOOSE to respond. If you let it eat you up so much that you feel you need to start a thread like this, well then a break from the boards to get perspective is perhaps best.

Best wishes.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Anyone what to explain YAGE? I mean, I get it's a "I'm not coming back!" post, but I'm trying to figure out exactly what the letters stand for.

 

[phorsenuf]

Anyone what to explain YAGE? I mean, I get it's a "I'm not coming back!" post, but I'm trying to figure out exactly what the letters stand for.

Yet Another Grand Exit

 

[ols386]

Y=Yet
A=Another
G=Grand
E=Exit

 

[ols386]

Yet Another Grand Exit

Sorry, didn't mean to repeat what you said.

 

[mhsjax]

H
Not what I said. I've seen threads like this and it's just the op's way of calling attention to him or herself.

Sorry, I guess I misunderstood when you said they "always" turn into a don't go thing. My bad.

 

[phorsenuf]

Sorry, didn't mean to repeat what you said.

Suuuuure.....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I haven't hung around the DIS much in quite some time (can blame facebook for that ). When I saw this thread last night I wasn't sure what to think and had a twinge of compassion. Then I read some of the threads that were referenced. Wow. It is not my place to judge others, however it might be best to at least give a moving target if you don't want to be judged. Discussing some of the very personal and private topics such as BPD in an offspring sets a person up for comments. Airing your financial situation and then going into details about how so-called "discretionary" money is spent makes it easy to be a target. Seems you'd like posters to "play nice", however it would be in your best interest to "post smart".

Either leave or don't leave, but why all the drama?

 

[phorsenuf]

I haven't hung around the DIS much in quite some time (can blame facebook for that ). When I saw this thread last night I wasn't sure what to think and had a twinge of compassion. Then I read some of the threads that were referenced. Wow. It is not my place to judge others, however it might be best to at least give a moving target if you don't want to be judged. Discussing some of the very personal and private topics such as BPD in an offspring sets a person up for comments. Airing your financial situation and then going into details about how so-called "discretionary" money is spent makes it easy to be a target. Seems you'd like posters to "play nice", however it would be in your best interest to "post smart".

Either leave or don't leave, but why all the drama?

Hey stranger. Long time no see!

 

[Princess Dolly]

I haven't hung around the DIS much in quite some time (can blame facebook for that ). When I saw this thread last night I wasn't sure what to think and had a twinge of compassion. Then I read some of the threads that were referenced. Wow. It is not my place to judge others, however it might be best to at least give a moving target if you don't want to be judged. Discussing some of the very personal and private topics such as BPD in an offspring sets a person up for comments. Airing your financial situation and then going into details about how so-called "discretionary" money is spent makes it easy to be a target. Seems you'd like posters to "play nice", however it would be in your best interest to "post smart".

Either leave or don't leave, but why all the drama?

Wise words!

I'm one of the mean people in the OP's eyes. I really am just concerned for her and her daughter's mental health. I guess that makes me mean and judgmental. If I was heading down a potentailly wrong and dangerous path, I would wish people would give me a proverbial slap across the face and tell me to look around.

ETA: Since I don't feel like writing on multiple threads, I would like to congratulate the OP on her DIS Miracle. Am-az-ing how that all worked out in such a short period of time. I have never seen an HR department move that quickly and then to see TWO of them. WOW. Again, congratulations.