awkward situation: no shoes at baby shower

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If it's heels I would because those will damage my floor. I don't care about dirt or mud but I do care about having to pull up a plank and put a new one down and we're lucky that with a new home we've got excess planks.

That said haven't had an event that someone wore heels over.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I don’t think it’s States/Canada thing.
It’s a cold/warm climate thing.

 

[orangecuse]

We suspend our no shoes rule during parties. We feel like we would be suggesting that our carpets are more valuable to us then our guests.

We are the same! We only enforce our no shoes rule for ourselves and our kids and overnight guests where theyd have house shoes or socks etc they could walk around in. We also always warn our overnight guests. Day guests and party guests are exempt- I just deal with cleaning the floors after.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Take them off, leave them on, I/we don't care. I can't imagine somebody asking me to take my shoes off when going to their house. And PnM, I would have taken your mom from your brother's house and told his girlfriend to stuff it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I know this is common in people's homes, but why does it really matter if the floor is dirty? Are people out there licking floors? I can understand it when you have a crawling baby around, or you have a lot of carpet. But in general, the floor is always going to be dirty, whether you wear shoes or not. It's a floor. Even the most diligent moppers can't be on top of everyday dust and such. And if you have a dog? Forget it. Your floor is always dirty.

That's why for me it's about damage. Who cares about dirt or whatever, I can clean that up, but if you're actually damaging my floors that's a much bigger issue. I don't care if people take their shoes off or keep them on, only time it's an issue is heels.

 

[tzolkin]

It’s definitely a regional difference. Several people have mentioned if “shoes off” people warn their guests beforehand. In my experience, “shoes off” people wouldn’t even know to warn guests because they assume that everyone removes shoes since they are from a place where that is the norm. In those regions you just automatically remove shoes when entering someone’s home. The host doesn’t even ask, everyone just does it.

When we moved to a region where removing shoes was not the norm, I was aware of the difference and adjusted to the culture of the area. We hosted groups at our home a few times a week and I just got used to people wearing shoes because I knew it would be rude here to ask guests to remove them. (We did keep a “no shoes upstairs” policy but adult guests would not typically go up there unless they were staying with us.)

 

[CdnCarrie]

Take them off, leave them on, I/we don't care. I can't imagine somebody asking me to take my shoes off when going to their house. And PnM, I would have taken your mom from your brother's house and told his girlfriend to stuff it.

Here people would think you rude to walk in their house with your shoes/winter boots.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

As you walked into the shower, there was just a pile of shoes right at the door. It was like a fun game trying to find your pair when you left! Each time someone entered, the shoes got kicked around. I'd just really appreciate a heads-up if I'm going to a shoe-less party! (I'd brings some fancy ballet slippers!)

About 2 weeks after meeting my husband I went to this big white elephant party at their family friend's house. There must have been 30 people there. Shoes were taken off. It was a big pile, it def. got moved around, and it was a bit funny trying to locate your shoes. Mine got separated and I didn't realize it at first so I'm balancing on one foot getting the first shoe on only to realize I've got to hunt for my other one. My husband wears a size 13 his shoes were def. easier to find but my 6 1/2 size ones got lost in the fray. My issue was they didn't have their foyer light on so it was darker trying to locate them.

FWIW like I mentioned my issue is just heels due to damage on flooring and for a baby shower it'd probably be more common for heels to appear, in this case if I was hosting it I'd probably put a little notation no heels please and if someone did show up with them I would kindly ask them to remove. I promise I'm not trying to make you feel cold

 

[ronandannette]

If it's heels I would because those will damage my floor. I don't care about dirt or mud but I do care about having to pull up a plank and put a new one down and we're lucky that with a new home we've got excess planks.

That said haven't had an event that someone wore heels over.

I would die a thousand deaths if somebody cavalierly walked around on my flooring in heels.
https://www.wolfeflooring.com/blog/stiletto-heels-ruin-floors/

 

[Dan Murphy]

Here people would think you rude to walk in their house with your *****/winter boots.

Likewise here.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I would die a thousand deaths if somebody cavalierly walked around on my flooring in heels.
https://www.wolfeflooring.com/blog/stiletto-heels-ruin-floors/

Exactly! I promise my Midwestern hospitality shines through..just not with the heels

 

[mommasita]

Another sort of related question - who brings shoes to change into out of winter boots at work?
I think I have 3 pair under my desk!
So nice in the summer to not have to do that!

anyone else have a shoe bag? I use to have a fancy one to carry my dress shoes to the bar in the winter!

Yes, I have a shoe bag. I also had a bedazzled one back in the days at the coatcheck at the bar.

I am the same as the other Canadians on this thread. Also, nobody is wearing shoes around here, we have THAT MUCH SNOW.

We remove our shoes and place them on the boot tray/carpet, my son always misses. My husband then wears some version of ugly Italian sandals that I loathe, and i wear slippers, my son is just in his socks. We never ask anyone to remove footwear, it is just done in the winter. I think I’ve written this before, but we have a pool, and in the summer nobody seems to remove their sandals and come in/out with wet feet and it pisses me off.

When I’m in Florida I just abide by no shoes in the home as well, I keep an inside pair of slippers, and remove shoes at the door.

 

[fly girl]

I don’t think it’s States/Canada thing.
It’s a cold/warm climate thing.

I cordially disagree. I was born in Michigan with a cold climate. My family still lives there. Just asked, shoes off is not the norm at showers.

Here people would think you rude to walk in their house with your shoes/winter boots.

We do too in regards to winter boots. Key point: nobody is walking in trekking through your house with wet boots you just walked through the snow with. If you are hosting a party you shovel the walkway for your guests so they wouldn't be walking in the house with snowy boots. You would have a cleared walkway. And party goers wouldn't wear snow boots, they would be wearing the shoes that goes with their attire.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I cordially disagree. I was born in Michigan with a cold climate. My family still lives there. Just asked, shoes off is not the norm at showers.



We do too in regards to winter boots. Key point: nobody is walking in trekking through your house with wet boots you just walked through the snow with. If you are hosting a party you shovel the walkway for your guests so they wouldn't be walking in the house with snowy boots. You would have a cleared walkway. And party goers wouldn't wear snow boots, they would be wearing the shoes that goes with their attire.

If it’s -40 and blowing snow people are driving in dress shoes?
I’m currently trying to teach my college age son that I don’t care that he’s driving in a warm car.
It’s not safe to be out driving in his old clunker in canvas shoes in the dead of a prairie winter.
If the car died or got stuck you would risk frostbite,
You’ve very focused on a certain type of party.
I’m just talking in generalities.

if I was going to your party with our local weather I would wear boots and change to shoes there. I wouldn’t want to get a flat in -30 Celsius weather with party shoes on. Did that when I was 20 and leant my lesson!

 

[summermom2]

In my country it is rude to wear shoes in the house. It is gross to wear shoes that have stepped in things outside and come in to the home.

 

[nene0182]

I was glad to see this response because as a Canadian I read the original post and thought “people don’t take their shoes off at other peoples houses?”
It makes sense that it’s just a thing here, but it’s been so normal my whole life it didn’t occur to me some people don’t in North America. You learn something new every day.

Ha! I’m from North Dakota and the first time I saw this discussed on the boards, I thought the same thing. I cannot think of anyone we know that wears shoes in their house. Even the guy that inspects our furnace and AC takes his shoes off (not sure why he doesn’t just wear those bootie cover things) If someone was to leave their shoes on in my house, I’d probably just roll with it but it has actually never come up.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Ha! I’m from North Dakota and the first time I saw this discussed on the boards, I thought the same thing. I cannot think of anyone we know that wears shoes in their house. Even the guy that inspects our furnace and AC takes his shoes off (not sure why he doesn’t just wear those bootie cover things) If someone was to leave their shoes on in my house, I’d probably just roll with it but it has actually never come up.

I would think Manitoba and North Dakota would be very similar this way.
I’m in Manitoba.

 

[disykat]

I'm wearing my shoes right now. I was out earlier and I'm still up and around and plan on going out again later to run errands. If I decide to snuggle on the couch and watch tv, I'll take them off.

Following the hosts lead is definitely the right thing to do, which means if you come to my house you keep your shoes ON unless they are muddy or you just stepped in dog poop. People are generally pretty polite and leave their shoes on (according to what is obviously our home's practice) when they come in, but occasionally people drop their shoes in a pile by the front door. That seems pretty odd to me - kind of like next they're going to unbutton their pants...

Once I figured out that some people take shoes off, I started paying attention. I do have to say it's probably been at least 5 years since I've been to a home that had a shoe off policy.

 

[fly girl]

If it’s -40 and blowing snow people are driving in dress shoes?
I’m currently trying to teach my college age son that I don’t care that he’s driving in a warm car.
It’s not safe to be out driving in his old clunker in canvas shoes in the dead of a prairie winter.
If the car died or got stuck you would risk frostbite,
You’ve very focused on a certain type of party.
I’m just talking in generalities.

if I was going to your party with our local weather I would wear boots and change to shoes there. I wouldn’t want to get a flat in -30 Celsius weather with party shoes on. Did that when I was 20 and leant my lesson!

To answer about the driving in dress shoes -- if it is a 5-10 minute drive on major roads/highways and it is not a snow event, I probably would drive in my dress shoes to this specific party (even though I do not like my car -read $3K thread- it is not a clunker.) Any other time, I would have a change of shoes. But in fairness, I live in Cincinnati now where we don't experience below zero temperatures and snow squalls on the regular.

I am focused on that specific party because that is what started this thread. I am answering to what OP originally asked. The thread evolved, and I answered generalities, but you kept inquiring like this:

Here people would think you rude to walk in their house with your shoes/winter boots.

I answered that in general terms. That would be rude here too. We don't casually walk into others homes with wet snowy winter boots on. I was trying to explain that and I think it keeps getting lost.

We are on a different wavelength about this topic. It has evolved, and keep trying to explain that the odd request of taking shoes off only refers to that specific type of party. Generalities are totally different, and I thought I said that. I am clearly not explaining myself well, and I think we are at an impasse.

Just know, in most everyday occurrences, taking shoes off when you walk in the house is not abnormal. Only those certain types of parties is it considered an odd request if not informed beforehand.

Moving on.

 

[CallieMar]

for those “shoe off group”. Do you have dogs? just wondering (for my thesis) lol - I’m wondering if pet people are more “shoes on“ than non pet people

We do have a dog. I am in the shoes off group but will not go barefoot in the house.