"Because I WANT to, that's why!!"

[JUJU814]

I am so frustrated and a little sad right now.

Why can't people just mind their own business about what we do with our lives??

I am taking dd to Disney 3rd week in March..just the two of us. Dh and I have worked it out. He's taking the week off and doing a bunch of fun stuff with ds. Ds doesn't WANT to go to Disney. He WANTS to spend the week with daddy doing all the things they have planned. Daddy and ds are looking forward to their week together.

My mom is laying into me "what?? again? why do you need to go to Disney? you never save any money" blah blah I am 39 years old. I make plenty of money, pay all of my bills, have NO debt and I just don't get how or why this should affect her. Same with my best friend. She has a fit when I tell her I'm going to Disney. "your kids have been to disney too much" etc.

My best friend and her family have been once. We took her whole family and stayed at AKL. I did so happily, joyfully and wouldn't change a thing...seriously. But ummmm, I don't get how she can criticize me for going to Disney frequently when I took her and her family on a 10 day premium vacation??

Why isn't the answer "because I want to, that's why" enough??

We are under extraordinary stress at home with issues with my ds. The next several weeks are filled with appointments, MRI's, EEGs, trips to Boston etc. So much of my time is spent focusing on ds that my dd, 6, gets whatever is left over ..at least that's how it feels. She needs her mommy!

Does she NEED to go to Disney? No...but I WANT TO TAKE HER darn it! I want to. Isn't that ok????

I know I don't NEED to justify it here, I just hope someone will understand.

To boot, I WANT to stay at a deluxe resort..and all she wants to do is stay at Pop Century. She's never stayed there before. She likes the pictures. This is driving me nuts but I'm totally doing this for her..it's about her, not me. If she wants the hippy dippy pool, so be it. Hey, it's saving me like $200/night. It'll be mobbed because it's March but I'll just have to try to plan well.

I don't know why, at age 39, I still feel somehow like I need my parents' approval still to take a simple trip to the Mouse with MY daughter.

Someone tell me I'm not crazy?

I know parents are always concerned for their kids. But really, I do quite well for myself. I dread my best friend's reaction too when she finds out. I have to tell her because she works for me so she'll need to cover for me when I'm out of town.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

You are not crazy and you do not have to justify your life to anyone. Period. End of story.

 

[HunnyJar]

You are definitely not crazy.

People are always criticizing us for making WDW our exclusive vacation spot. Frankly, I'm sick of it. It's not like *they* are paying for it. We choose Disney for our family because we know everyone will have fun there. We know just what to expect and we know we will be happy with our choice.

I honestly have no idea why in the world some people (even family) feel like they need to pipe in when it comes to your vacation plans. You know you are happy with your plans and that it fits your family. And that is not crazy.

 

[sohappy]

I am divorced, so my kids don't really get that one on one time anymore. XH and I try to schedule weekends where we each get one boy for a day, then switch. The kids LOVE this time and are always asking when we can do it again. One-on-one time is really important to kids (and parents too). So good for you for recognizing that and doing something about it.

My parents are always making comments about us going too much. I have tried to be subtle, or just not talk about it. Nothing has worked- until recently. When they were complaining again about me taking the kids back, I said "I am not sure how my vacation choices impact you at all. I appreciate that you are concerned, but I can handle it."

As for your friend, if you took the week off to sit around the house, the impact would be exactly the same for her (covering for you- which you pay her to do). So where you go on your vacation, shouldn't matter to her. I would just say, "I appreicate your concern, but this is the best decision for our family." That should end the conversation right there.

 

[Melissa&Shawn]

All great answers! I am so sorry you are going through this. You don't need to explain to anyone. I feel the same way..."Again??!!!".....yes AGAIN! Do what makes you happy and your family happy. That is what matters in life. ((HUGS))

 

[taylor3297]

Go and have fun! My dd and I have been talking about a girls only trip. I think others complain or make comments because they are jealous.

 

[doodlesmommy]

It's as if I wrote this myself! Seriously, I'm secretly planning this Aug trip for the kids and I to enjoy our last weekend before school starts and all of our crazy activities begin. My In-laws are going to be furious. I'm preparing myself for it now but I'm 36 and can make my own decisions with MY children, thanks for asking. I'm going with no regrets. I hope you to do and make some fantastic memories that your dd will always remember!

 

[rodeo65]

DH and I often have "date nights/ buddy nights" with the kids individually. They love having us all to themselves for that time and we get lots of information that just doesn't get talked about during the rush of family dinner, homework, bath and bed evenings. One on one vacations would be great in my opinion. Especially if you have kids who have different interest/thrill tolerances.

Try not to worry about opinions and just remember you and your hubby know best what works for you and your family. I know how annoying it is though to have family members chiming in on your choices, though. Have a great time with your daughter - I'd love to go with each kid individually. Of course that is self serving in that I would get two trips since I'm the Disney freak in the family - DH could take or leave it. Still can't figure how I missed screening that before marrying him.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

go and ignore them all! You do not have to justify anything to anyone. And I'm guessing your BF is jealous and that's why she has an issue with you going.

 

[glassslipper2004]

Disney makes me happy - that's why I like to go. It's hard enough to be happy in this life - if you find someplace that works for you, why not go as often as you can swing it. It's no one else's business.

Have a wonderful, wonderful time!

 

[sk!mom]

Honestly at your age, I'm surprised that anyone would feel that they could offer an opinion. I think it's way past time to let them know that you're an adult and when you want opinions, you'll ask. I'm older than you and while in my early 20's my mom would still offer unsolicited opinions, it's been years since she's done that.

It just seems way past time to establish some boundaries. Go, enjoy your vacation and tell them to myob.

 

[eduk8r26]

"Because I can" should be the only explanation you need to give. It's no one's business how you spend your money or what you do.

 

[NotUrsula]

Turn it back on them. Just give them a shocked stare and a "Don't you think that's just a wee bit presumptuous?"

 

[DisneyTravelers2008]

Go and have fun...have LOTS of fun! And, dont look back!!!

 

[marsha123]

your friend works 4 u .that makes u the boss ,who cares what she thinks.plenty of people are looking 4 a job.

 

[JUJU814]

your friend works 4 u .that makes u the boss ,who cares what she thinks.plenty of people are looking 4 a job.

yeah...that's a WHOLE other thing..she is pretty bold in her eh "opinions"

word of advice: don't hire friends and family!!!

 

[klacey1]

Go, have a wonderful time, and just don't talk to anyone who disapproves of your trip. IF your mother or friend start butting in with their opinion, just cut them off and say that you and your daughter are really looking forward to the trip and don't want any negative energy to ruin it!
I'm sure your son will have a terrific time with DH and your daughter with you! Enjoy!!

 

[dizneedoll]

Why is it when it comes to Disney so many people have the same reaction as the OP's parents and BF? I get the same thing from my mother and my DH and people from work. "What? Disney again?" Oh, but if I went to Hawaii every year I doubt anyone would bat an eye or say one word about it. So why is it that people have such an issue with Disney? Do you think it's because a lot of people have something against it...like they're anti-Disney? Or they just don't get why grown people would want to keep going back? I'm 37 with a DS3 and we like going. My DH doesn't, fine he can stay home. But everyone else that doesn't like it needs to shut up and butt out. To the OP: I say the nay sayers get NO explanation as to why at all! You're going and that's that. I hope you and your DD have a most excellent time!

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

You never question or discuss anything anyone else does? That is what it sounds like to me. Seems you are taking it all far too seriously/personally.

As far as only being 39, that is late to start saving if you haven't. Unless you plan on those kids taking care of you when you are old. Your mom merely wants you taken care of for life, rather than living the grasshopper life.

 

[JUJU814]

You never question or discuss anything anyone else does? That is what it sounds like to me. Seems you are taking it all far too seriously/personally.

As far as only being 39, that is late to start saving if you haven't. Unless you plan on those kids taking care of you when you are old. Your mom merely wants you taken care of for life, rather than living the grasshopper life.

1) Actually, no, I don't question other adults when they tell me they're going somewhere or doing something. I'm not merely being questioned about it..I'm being personally attacked about it. I'm actually happy for people when they tell me they're going on a vacation

It's one thing to hear "gee honey, are you sure?? I just want to see you settled for such and such" It's another thing when someone starts yelling at you and putting you down for your choices.

2) I do very well for myself financially and am quite prepared for my kids future and my own. I was just relaying what my mom said. She says the same stuff because I get my nails done regularly and spend $40 on a haircut. It's none of her business.