I dont think I mentioned here that BIL, the one in Cali, went to the ER twice the weekend before the trip. So 6/14 to 6/16. Fri night he said numbness tingling and burning in his hands and feet, MIL told him he needed to go in right away so he did after a bit. He had gone in to urgent care a day or two before and been diagnosed with pneumonia. BIL had shingles last winter and has had a cough since then, but does not take care of himself so didnt go in. Then his wife had gallbladder issues (a whole other story) so he didnt go until that was taken care of.
So this ER trip they sent him home the next morning, not sure what was wrong but said he didnt have pneumonia. Then he went back on Sunday afternoon because he was having trouble breathing. They said his throat was swollen and thought it was a reaction to the medicine.
Meanwhile I am ready to fly ILs out to Ontario which is the closest airport for 12k United points, told them not to worry but they waited. After Sunday they switched meds or took him off or something and he was supposed to go back on 6/28 for a follow up and do allergen tests. BIL is all I'm fine now, still going to try and meet you guys for Kennedy.
Now, I could write a book on his wife. I tell DH I dont have to claim her as SIL because his brother married her
But sticking to my personal observations and impressions. She is a high maintenance, attention seeking type. There is always some drama going on. Anytime BIL leaves or is about to there is a crisis. I also feel like she is the type who feels she needs to compete with and replace BILs family in his life, if that makes sense. I believe you can't necessarily let family get in between your relationship with your spouse and make all your decisions and cause issues, you need to put your spouse and kids first, but they dont need to be cut out unless there are certain situations. My dad is an Alien Swirling Saucers-hole but DH did not try to get rid of him, he left that to me and I had to figure out everything for myself which was good. My ILs are not crazy overbearing people. She had to have her gallbladder removed recently. Outpatient procedure. She kept putting it off with the excuse of needing to check out the surgeons, but also going to the ER every 3 days for the pain. Bad enough the ER dr was finally like, we are doing this tonight and being done with it. Then he got called away and said we will do it in the morning and you are staying overnight because we dont trust you not to go home and eat and sabotage this. So theres a teeny look at SIL.
So we bought insurance for this trip, right? Mainly thinking of grandparents but BIL is all no, I'm doing better, it's fine. Ok, so we give everyone including SIL the ship phone number and two email addresses.
DCL gives you 50mb of free data, so the plan was to try and check email a couple times a day. Everyone was supposed to email BOTH emails because we didn't know which would get checked first. One was mine and one was FILs, chosen because we get the least emails to save data. But then MIL got worried about accidentally turning the phone on when we were leaving on the cruise Sunday so we didnt set hers up to check FILs email. It's fine, we'll just check mine!
Soooo can anyone see where this is going?
BIL goes back into the hospital on Monday morning. He sends an email like hey I'm going back to the hospital. To ONLY FILs email. Dropped ball number one. So we dont know. Other BIL back in CO doesnt know either, just his brother is no longer answering so he texts SIL who says hes back in the hospital but fine. Dropped ball numbers two to... five? BIL doesn't tell BIL, SIL doesnt tell him or us, BIL in CO sends an email about it... to ONLY FILs email. Arghhhh.
So then we figure out we can call and text over wifi! This never crossed my mind or came up online anywhere. Seriously next time I will just budget a data package and then tell people we can respond to texts but only occasionally. So DH sends BIL a text like how are you feeling and he responds, when can I call. Ok, this is not a good sign. So we try wifi calling and get ahold of him on speaker with everyone there.
One more small interjection, BIL mentioned on the call that he was going to call the ship that night if he hadn't heard from us... which is about $8 a minute plus fees. He sent ONE email that he was going, sent nothing else, SIL sent nothing else, before he was going to place a $300 phone call. Seriously next time data package, no one is getting the ship number.
On to seriousness. BIL seems to have contracted one of those one in a million chance auto immune diseases where after clearing a normal infection his antibodies for whatever reason started to attack his nerves. They are doing treatments but wont know what kind of recovery he could be looking at until they can do rehab or more tests. His regular dr is back today so they are supposed to find out more today. When we spoke to him on the ship he said he was too weak to get up himself. He couldn't eat solids because that was what was wrong with his throat, more paralysis/no control not swelling. It was hard for him to talk.
GUYS THIS WAS AT THE TIME SIL WAS TELLING OTHER BIL HE WAS FINE THEY WERE JUST RUNNING TESTS. WHATTTTTTT THIS IS NOT FINE IN MY BOOKKKKKKK
So BIL probably couldn't reach out more, but how could she not? What in the actual bad word????
And they knew that weekend he was going back in. We could have cancelled everything at that point and sent ILs out there. Had we found out Monday we could have jumped ship in Nassau on Tuesday and gotten half the money back and everything else. I dont want to sound like all that matters is the money it's more that everyone would have been happier being there sooner. And frustrated that BIL was not honest with us about what was going on because he didnt want to ruin the trip.... Instead everyone stressed and fretted and didnt really enjoy the last 1.5 days of the cruise. Other BIL booked flights out there and hotel for ILs and and flight home for aunt on Fri. So now on my to do list for the day is to reach out to insurance because I think the policy should cover those flights.
So ILs went out after our trip and spent an arm and a leg on a hotel room out there (not only would they not stay with SIL anyways because they are upset with her, but it is a 1 bedroom apartment and the kicker, it wasn't even mentioned or offered, SIL/her parents told ILs they could recommend hotels
plus SIL couldn't drive herself most of the time ILs were there even because she was 'in so much pain from gallbladder surgery' so I guess I don't understand why she needed to be all alone when someone had to come by and help her multiple times a day
)
So now, BIL has been doing okay, a little progress, he is trying to teach two classes a day with an assistant at his job... he's definitely been overdoing it, and sometimes he slips up on the phone and tells us he did something he is not supposed to do... because SIL is USELESS.
Then yesterday, BIL was told by his doctor that they think his immune system is still attacking itself, the original treatment just slowed it but didn't stop it, and that's why his progress is so slow for recovery. So they want to try a new treatment. And this morning we found out BIL has been at the ER all night with SILs family because her father had a major heart attack. Le sigh. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for her father and family, especially as he seems like the only halfway decent family member, but SIL milks everything for all she can regardless of the welfare of others. So our concern is that she will want/expect to be babied 1000% with no concern that BIL is not supposed to be put through stress like that as it could cause a relapse for him. And then we aren't sure when his new treatment will start (and it has side effects! gasp! per MIL because she is a google Dr and everyone takes her word as law for that because she had some medical-y courses in her schooling 20ish years ago, plus DH's family tends more pessimistic anyways). And we leave for MCO tonight for 5 days at Universal, and MIL and DHs aunt are supposed to fly down Friday to join us, and now it's all up in the air for them, and non refundable.
Hopefully I don't sound like I'm being too harsh ragging on SIL, but it's just soooooo frustrating. She won't lift a finger to do anything around their place, even now, ie take the trash out - something BIL was told by doctors not to do, but he has slipped up and told us that he is still doing it all the time. She's vegetarian but BIL is not, and she will not buy anything BIL will eat, he must go along to the store to get anything. How about this one - they have a diabetic cat that gets special canned food every day and they use paper plates for that
their choice, I'm too cheap to do that lol I'd be rinsing a bowl if I cared so much. But she will not pick the plates up and throw them away - she lines them up across the kitchen floor, one next to the other. When BIL got out of the hospital and moved to a rehab center, she had a relapse from her gallbladder pain! She had to go back to the ER! And per BILs words, was told she was overreacting/being a baby as this was a normal digestive pain as her system adjusts to not having a gallbladder, just as she had been told to expect... but it pretty much cost BIL a day of rehab because he was too worried about her to focus on his treatment. It's just this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME.