Did you help with your child's wedding? How much did you spend?

[Patience]

The title pretty much says it all. My oldest daughter will graduate from graduate school in May and is getting married in November. I'm curious about how much money parents spent on or towards the cost of a wedding for their child. If you don't mind, please state what part of the US you are in and what type of wedding venue (country club, barn, hotel, etc).

 

[DisneyHardin]

My sister is getting married in August in Louisville, KY. Her wedding and reception are going to be at a museum downtown. She doesn't know yet what the total cost is going to be as they are still organizing, but I do know that our mom is paying $10,000 toward it and her dad (she is actually my half sister) is giving her $5,000. She is about certain that the $15,000 won't cover the entire cost and they will have to pay some themselves.

 

[kimblebee]

My parents paid $5000 and that was 20 years ago for wedding #1. I’m sure they did the same for my sister who got married in 2011.

We’re in the Prairies

 

[tvguy]

We paid the traditional items for the Groom's family when our son got married. Flowers and the rehearsal dinner. $6,000 for flowers, $2,000 for the dinner. Dinner guests were more than just the traditional wedding party, but also their spouses and boyfriends/girlfrields and all out of town wedding guests, 30 people total.
I got off easy. The Wedding venue was $5,000, plus $80 per person for 75 people for dinner plus the open bar plus.....I don't want to know!

DD has already told us when she gets married, it will be small, it will be on a farm and my only expenses will be finger sandwiches and to rent two cows. She wants a cow at her wedding, and because cows get lonely, I'm going to have to rent two so they don't get lonely.

When DW and I got married, my MIL paid $500 for food and wine, and that was it. My mom paid for the rehearsal dinner, about $250 for our small group, and flowers which cost about $100 because the lady next door did flower arranging and her gift to us was doing the arranging, all my mom had to do was buy the actual flowers. My wife and I paid all other expenses. Oh, my mom did give us $2,500 towards our honeymoon.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

DH and I set aside $30k for a wedding for each child. As none of our kids are in a rush to get married we are giving them each $20k to buy a house as 2 of the 3 are looking to buy. They know if they get it for a house down payment that only leaves $10k for a wedding. I don't care what kind of a wedding they have.

 

[georgina]

My DD was married in a church in Alexandria, VA and had the reception in a historic home in Maryland. I told her up front we would contribute $20,000, which covered the reception location rental (which I thought was outrageous, something like $6000!) and the catering and the alcohol. She and her fiancé paid for her dress ($200 on eBay, she can be thrifty when she wants to), flowers, DJ, invitations, photographer, shuttle bus they hired, minister and musician fees. They had been out of college and working for 4 years and could well afford to cover some costs.

Groom's family covered the rehearsal dinner, which was quite big because I have a huge family, and I don't know if they gave them anything else.

My parents paid for my reception when I got married 30 years ago, and DH and I covered everything else, similar to what we did for DD. My DS will probably never get married, so we told him we would buy him a car if he ever decides to buy one.

 

[Southernmiss]

Ds married last year near New Orleans. We set a budget of $10,000 for traditional groom's side expenses and came in a few hundred above. The budget included rehearsal dinner for 50 at a sit down restaurant with wine and beer at $4800, flowers at $1500 or So, clothing for 6 of us for rehearsal dinner and wedding,8 hotel rooms for 2 nights for the 6 of us, and our parents and groomsmen, groomsmen gifts, shower gifts, groom's cake and a few decorations for the table, videographer, thank you $ for 2 priests and maybe another helper or 2 at the church..

Catholic Church wedding 300 guests an hour from our home. Full meal reception in community center with wine and beer. I'm sure her family spent double or more.

He graduated with his grad degree last May. Bride got hers in December. Both 23 years old. And both started real jobs the month after marrying-jobs were already guaranteed when they got married, just waiting on ds and his wife.

 

[stsomewhere]

I was married 23 years ago. We basically paid for everything ourselves. My husbands parents gave us $800 toward food for the people they invited. My dad gave us $3000 for his family ( my parents divorce when I was little and I am not close to that side of family which is very large). My mom- nothi

 

[ronandannette]

We purchased the bridal gowns and handled the catering for both of DH's DD's - one got married 18 years ago and the other got married last October. Both were basically DIY events held in community halls. (Totally their choice - we had very little input into either of their planning processes. We just cheerfully did what we were asked and tried not to cause conflict with their mother.) The first wedding, all in, probably cost us $3,000, the second closer to $5,000.

 

[Kitty 34]

I gave each of my sons the same amount of money to spend the way they wanted on their wedding.

 

[dish rag]

A friend spent over $150,000 on his daughters wedding. They were separated with in two months. Such a waste of money. It was mostly his wife that got carried away with it all. For some reason many women lose all sense of reason when it comes to weddings.

 

[luvsJack]

Oldest ds had a church wedding for his first marriage . In the beginning we were willing to pay about $5000 toward it. But the church was free (her uncle was the preacher), dh’s sil did the flowers as a wedding present, my niece did the invitations and programs for a wedding gift, a friend of her step mom’s agreed to make a beautiful cake and we just had to buy th ingredients. She found a gorgeous dress on the clearance rack at Dillard’s (it wasn’t a wedding dress but was long white and so pretty on her). Another friend of the family did the pictures. So ended up with a beautiful wedding for very little.

With younger ds, they did not want a wedding at all. They were married by a preacher in her dad’s backyard Witt just parents and grandparents there. My sister and I gave them a big reception at the church. We each spent about $1000.

Now dd is engaged. The wedding will most likely be sometime late 2019 or early 2020. They have been looking at venues. Oh my. Adding it all up, the minimum will be around $12000. But as we go, people have already started offering services for free or discount so hoping to come way down from that. We will pay the end cost. But there really aren’t any definitive plans yet.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

We are in the Northeast and got married in a really nice country club. My parents gave us $5000 and my mom bought my dress (around $1000 with alterations) and my in-laws paid for the flowers for the ceremony and reception (around $3000). We had about 150 guests at our wedding and we ended up spending around $35,000 on our wedding.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

We got married in 2000 in California. We ended up just getting married at the courthouse because we couldn't afford anything big and knew our parents weren't able to contribute (they're from MI, PA, and IL if that matters).

My kids have a LONG way off before they will get married and I have no idea where we will be financially at that time. I honestly can't personally see us paying as much as what most people do for their kids weddings. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just difficult for me personally to justify spending thousands on a one day event. Although I can see how my mind could change when the time comes. I do find this thread interesting though because it puts some perspective on how much these things can actually cost.

 

[mummabear]

We got married 13 years ago, we went thirds with our parents so about $7k each.
We haven’t decided yet the amount we will give, but we do know that when the first one ets married we will have all 3 for a discussion. This is the amount you are all getting, it can be used on the wedding, honeymoon, house deposit up to you.
I am just not sure if inflation should be considered. My brother got married 10 years after I did is it “fair” to give him the same amount when costs have gone up?

 

[Araminta18]

I got married in 2014, in DC. We did a punch/cookies type reception at our local church, so the venue was free. Ending up paying about $3k, a good chunk of that was the photographer. My husband's parents paid for the flowers (about $150, if I'm remembering right) and the luncheon for family after the wedding (maybe $800?), and then my parents kicked in $800, but mostly we paid for it ourselves.

 

[Mermaid02]

Am I the only one here who thinks if you are mature enough and stable enough to get married you should pay for the wedding yourselves? I believe lavish weddings are a huge waste of $$ and that couples often spend more time thinking about the wedding than thinking about the actual marriage. I might buy the dress or give a gift of $$ after the nuptials, but no- not putting a large contribution towards a wedding.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm paying for my kids to go to college so I have no plans for paying for their weddings. Also since I have one dd and 2 ds's it is unfair to pay for my dd's wedding but not my ds's, and no way can we afford to pay for 3 after college tuition for them. We will give them all the same monetary gift to use towards their weddings but I have no idea what that will be at that time.

 

[hertamaniac]

Wife's parents spent $10K many years ago. Married in central NJ; divorced in Fl.

But, I drove into NYC to get the rings and saved $$$$ at the Diamond District.

 

[Saphire]

Our daughter finished grad school and got married the same year. We live in the Boston area, but because prices are crazy they chose to marry in a more rural, country inn setting in the lakes region of NH. We gave them 15K toward their wedding.