"Dress Coded"

[amberpi]

She said in earnest, “WE JUMP ON THE BEDS!” DD and I were slack jawed. Different outlooks, I suppose.

What a great way to get a broken leg at the beginning of the trip. (Of course, kids do dumb stuff, but I can't imagine encouraging it! I spend a lot of time already telling the boy that he's not a monkey and can't climb inside the house, obviously, it's working...I wish.)

 

[Kitty 34]

Sorry, haven't read the entire thread and replies but I do remember being measured in the office to make sure our (mini) skirts were 4 inches to the knee...no shorter. We would pull our skirts down the best we could; get measured, then hike them back up as we went to class. Ahh, those were the days!!

When I subbed and had any real issues with a clothing attire I simply sent said student to the office. They could make the decision; not me. I very seldom sent short issues to the office as in MS many young ladies are sooooo long legged. I probably sent more young ladies to the office showing more of their upper body parts than anything else. And yes I would send a young man now and then who thought it was great that the class could see half of his underwear!

 

[ashley0139]

Sorry, haven't read the entire thread and replies but I do remember being measured in the office to make sure our (mini) skirts were 4 inches to the knee...no shorter. We would pull our skirts down the best we could; get measured, then hike them back up as we went to class. Ahh, those were the days!!

When I subbed and had any real issues with a clothing attire I simply sent said student to the office. They could make the decision; not me. I very seldom sent short issues to the office as in MS many young ladies are sooooo long legged. I probably sent more young ladies to the office showing more of their upper body parts than anything else. And yes I would send a young man now and then who thought it was great that the class could see half of his underwear!

Why do you think it's a good idea for students to miss class time because of what they're wearing? I'm honestly curious.

 

[Kae]

You are 100% right. I still remember a teacher stopping me in the hall in middle school and YANKING my arm down to see if my shorts were too short. Dress codes are absolutely sexist.



Exactly.



The fact that parents are called and girls are missing classes over dress code violations makes my blood boil. Who do they think they are to pull parents away from their job because a girl's shorts are too short?

I don't like the comparison to a job having a dress code. At a job you are getting paid to be there. You are meeting with clients or colleagues. In school you are sitting in a desk and learning. There is absolutely no reason to have a dress code at all. In what way are short shorts hurting anyone at school? Who cares if someone is wearing a spaghetti strap? Do you think kids won't be able to dress for work if they don't have a dress code in school? Because that's ridiculous. It's about power and it's about sexism, period.

Why because kids(people ) have no common sense. You should see what some kids think is ok. It is pretty bad boys & girls.

 

[bigbabyblues]

IMO, iThis is still fairly common in private schools. One I’m familiar with says boy’s hair can’t be over the ears and/or the collar. And also no pierced ears for boys. While girls are allowed to wear their hair in any length and style and have pierced ears. (And neither girls nor boys can have nose rings or other facial or tongue piercings, or hair dyed in any “unnatural” color.)

My kids attend a private school, and we have the "no hair past the collar" rule for boys, also no hair below the eyebrow or over the ears for boys. No unnatural hair color for anyone (they can color their hair but it has to be a natural hair color, not blue, green, purple, etc). No piercings for boys, no more than 2 ear piercings for girls and no other piercings (they don't check for belly button rings), no slogans/writing on shirts, no shorts or capris, no tank tops, no sweatpants or athletic pants, no t-shirts.--these rules are for everyone. They are allowed to wear jeans or dockers type pants, boys must wear a shirt with a collar, shirts must be tucked in and boys are required to wear a belt. Girls can wear jeans or khaki type pants, skirts or dresses must hit the middle of their knee when they stand up (yes, they check for that), blouses, polo shirt, hoodie, etc. No leggings unless they are worn with a dress or skirt that hits the middle of the knee.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why does everyone keep assuming it’s because it’s distracting to boys? Most places have a dress code. Many people do not know how to dress appropriately. Boys or girls with half their butt hanging out should be sent to change. That is not appropriate attire. Some of the shorts for the girls that they sell are like denim underwear. Their cheeks are hanging out. I call them heiney hangers. It has nothing to do with being distracted. You shouldn’t have your parts hanging out in a school. Personally I don’t think they should be hanging out anywhere but maybe there is a place where that’s a thing. I don’t know. I don’t go anywhere that it is. Boys also should not have their pants hanging low either. Your underwear does not need to be hanging out because your pants are pulled down to your knees. Ymmv.

 

[ashley0139]

Why because kids(people ) have no common sense. You should see what some kids think is ok. It is pretty bad boys & girls.

I will never think that what someone is wearing should make them miss class time. It's just clothing and does not affect learning in any way.

Why does everyone keep assuming it’s because it’s distracting to boys?

Maybe because teachers and administrators have been telling girls that forever?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Maybe because teachers and administrators have been telling girls that forever?

The only place I have ever “heard” that is on the Dis.

 

[ashley0139]

The only place I have ever “heard” that is on the Dis.

I've heard it over and over throughout my entire life.

 

[HopperFan]

What makes my daughter uncomfortable is the whole issue of being checked every other day. She is a rule follower and would never wear clothes that did not conform to the dress code plus she is a bit of a prude and would not wear short shorts anyway. She just does not like the dress code check part.

Having a male teacher stop every girl in shorts at the door and look at their legs while checking the length of their shorts does come off a little creepy to me.

After your first post I was going to ask if the teacher was a male or female ... and it looks from this post a male.

I have periodically asked DS about girls clothing (high school) I thought were "too much" and he says ... "I never have nor will I ever address a dress code violation with a girl or anyone. To address the violation it means I had to have looked at her body. That is totally inappropriate and opens me false accusations. Let the Front Office, the Administration or female teachers address it. I will focus on teaching."

After school is out you might want to drop a note to the Principal, no accusations, just that your daughter was very uncomfortable ... and based on what she described maybe it's not a good idea to have a male teacher doing these types of things." It could be they have no idea he's doing it (especially if you can't find a code to begin with) and would like to address it. You could even do it anonymously since it really wouldn't need a response.

 

[Jim Shuler]

I really hate dress codes. They are so one-sided and antiquated.

No one examines the boys in the way they do the girls. It can be humiliating for them (as I know from experience).

If boys can’t concentrate because my daughter’s shoulders are showing, or her shorts are three inches above her knee, that is their issue, not hers.

Boys’ dress codes are based on safety such as “wallet chains”, or the possibility of being distractions, like hats. None (or few) have to do with their actual body.

I’m sure someone will come along and tell me I’m wrong, but I don’t care. That’s my opinion, and yes, I do make my kids follow the rules set in school.

Dress codes are not to penalize kids. Dress codes should be to put the emphasis on learning and not things that may distract from learning. From that standpoint I would consider them necessary.

I expect my own kids to follow the rules set by the people in charge of creating a learning environment.
It seems you have the same approach. However if boys are wearing tank tops and tight pants to show off body parts to distract there should be rules for them as well.

"No distractions form creating a learning environment-no exceptions"

 

[sk!mom]

Having a male teacher stop every girl in shorts at the door and look at their legs while checking the length of their shorts does come off a little creepy to me.

It’s very creepy! And sexist. And ridiculous. If a girl walked in his room wearing something truly inappropriate, it would be obvious. There is absolutely no reason for every girl to be ogled by this guy everyday. I would be complaining.

As I’ve said in every dress code thread, I’m a teacher and a mom who is generally anti dress code. Mostly because they normally single out girls but also because schools waste time on ridiculous enforcement when there really are bigger fish to fry. As I always point out, I see a couple hundred kids a day and only very rarely do I see anyone who is wearing something problematic. Even then it’s usually a T-shirt with an inappropriate message.

 

[ashley0139]

Dress codes are not to penalize kids. Dress codes should be to put the emphasis on learning and not things that may distract from learning. From that standpoint I would consider them necessary.

I expect my own kids to follow the rules set by the people in charge of creating a learning environment.
It seems you have the same approach. However if boys are wearing tank tops and tight pants to show off body parts to distract there should be rules for them as well.

"No distractions form creating a learning environment-no exceptions"

How does the way someone is dressed affect sitting in a chair and watching the teacher at the blackboard (/whiteboard/smartboard)??

 

[TikiBabe]

What was your point?

You said you didn't see the issue with measuring the girl's shorts and went on to mention booty shorts. Booty shorts are very obviously shorter than the mid thigh to knee length that is required. So I am just a little confused.

My point was that measuring them prevents anyone from wearing booty shorts. They can't just eyeball it. In our sue for anything world someone would make a big deal about it and school districts would be on the chopping block. It's just fair that everyone get measured. My original post stated that we went through these "arm length" measuring tests every day in school 20 years ago and none of us wore booty shorts or even thought about something like that. It's not a huge freaking deal to get measured. The OP originally mentioned booty shorts, which is why it came up in my post. Relax.

 

[luvsJack]

My point was that measuring them prevents anyone from wearing booty shorts. They can't just eyeball it. In our sue for anything world someone would make a big deal about it and school districts would be on the chopping block. It's just fair that everyone get measured. My original post stated that we went through these "arm length" measuring tests every day in school 20 years ago and none of us wore booty shorts or even thought about something like that. It's not a huge freaking deal to get measured. The OP originally mentioned booty shorts, which is why it came up in my post. Relax.

Lol I am totally relaxed. I was just confused.

Measuring them doesn’t prevent the school from getting sued. Making a girl so uncomfortable that she doesn’t wear weather appropriate clothing could get them sued or at least attention brought to them.

 

[Jim Shuler]

Why do you think it's a good idea for students to miss class time because of what they're wearing? I'm honestly curious.

Didn't say it was a good idea to miss class time-do you think it is a good idea for kids to ignore established rules because they are just sitting in a chair. You act as if clothes and the way you dress are not part of the persona you want to portray. Most people do dress appropriately but those that can't follow rules designed for the benefit of all should be called out.
Send them to the office for the day and stop the behavior. That way it sends a message that the rules are designed to be followed. If the rules are draconian then get the rules changed. Otherwise follow the rules.

Even Disney has procedures, rules, and common decency such as standing in line and waiting your turn. Why? Because it is polite, mature, and benefits the entire experience for all.

 

[monsterkitty]

How does the way someone is dressed affect sitting in a chair and watching the teacher at the blackboard (/whiteboard/smartboard)??

Okay, I'll play.

I teach band and orchestra. One cannot sit in a chair with a short short skirt and play the clarinet, cello, saxophone, violin, viola, or many other instruments with correct posture and playing position.

In other classes there is a lot more to learning than sitting in a chair. Many teachers have active classrooms. The AVID teacher has kids jumping or crawling around the room at times in team building activities. Same in drama. There is a lot activity going on. Kids don't just sit in a chair.

To address your question of why do we think it's a good idea for students to miss class time because of what they're wearing. Of course we don't. However, it's a great idea to teach students that following expectations is a real world skill. If you don't follow an expectation there are sometimes consequences. In our school we have the students change into clean PE shirts, shorts, or sweats if it's cold, or they can have their parents bring them a change of clothes. If they choose to have their parents bring them a change of clothes, they are sent back to class until the parent arrives at school. If the parent can't get there within an hour, the student is given PE clothes.

Trust me, we want kids in class. But sometimes lesssons are learned outside of a classroom as well.

For the record, the boys at my school break our dress code more than the girls with their sagging and tee shirts.

 

[Colleen27]

While I fully understand the point, the concept that school dress codes are "sexist" is hard. Boys and girls typically wear different clothes. For example, I'm not in favor of girls wearing booty shorts to school. I wouldn't be in favor of boys doing it either, but most don't, so it's hard to apply that rule to anyone other than girls. Similarly I wouldn't be in favor of boys wearing ripped muscle shirts to school....I wouldn't be in favor of girls doing it either, but most don't, so the same situation applies. So almost by default, the "dress code" does have to be somewhat different for boys than girls. However, IMO, it needs to be applied as evenly as possible across the board. That's where it gets really difficult, what is "even" and "fair"? I don't have the answer and won't pretend to. I don't envy schools for having to try to manage that. Those teen years boys and girls are starting to come of age, hormones are raging, tastes changing....yikes.

But even when a trend is more revealing on boys than on girls, it tends to be enforced more strictly with girls. The recent skinny jeans trend showed the sexism of our local dress codes loud and clear, IMO - girls at the local public school weren't/aren't allowed to wear "jeggings" or super-skinny styles because they're too revealing, but for a while there, boys were walking around with jeans so tight that their "package" was practically on display. Athletic shorts are another one that can be that way... a lot of young men sit in such a way as to make those loose gym shorts inappropriately revealing (wasn't there a Friends episode about this?) but I've yet to hear about a school banning them because of it. But if girls were wearing skirts and sitting in such a way that their underwear was on display, it wouldn't pass without comment.

 

[meggiebeth]

Around here all schools have uniform which minimizes problems when it comes to dress code - girls do try to roll up their skirts to make them shorter but they typically aren’t told to roll them back down unless they’re really high. I’m all for girls being taught to dress appropriately for a given occasion, but I think it’s unfair for girls to be unfairly or disproportionately targeted by a policy. By all means, have shorts reach the end of their fingertips, but the rule should be enforced equally on both boys and girls.

 

[jaiminee krikit]

When I was in school, we had a dress code. Our shorts couldn't go past our fingertips, our stomach couldn't be showing if we raised our arms, no spaghetti straps, no hats, no wallet chains, no underwear showing, no profanity, that's all I can remember right now. We all made it out alive. We all learned there are consequences if you break the rules. Boys caught wearing offensive shirts were forced to wear their gym shirt the rest of the day, girls with short shorts on had to wear their gym shorts the rest of the day. I saw a lot more boys wearing gym shirts in my four years of high school than girls wearing gym shorts. None of those boys cried the dress code was sexist.
Every job I've ever had, there was a dress code. I worked at Walmart for a few years (many years ago) and we were only allowed to wear jeans on Fridays, no tank tops, no holes in our clothes, no words on our shirts, etc. There if you broke the rules, you were sent home without pay and written up. Consequences. I have taught DD16 that if you want to break the rules, you will have to face the consequences. She chooses NOT to break the rules.

I think school is a good time to teach young people that there are some places where you have to follow a certain dress code. Then they're not surprised when they get a job with one. I was lucky that my last job, unless we had a customer coming in, we could wear whatever we wanted - including pajamas and slippers. But if our customer was coming in, we better be professional looking.