Experienced Dog Owners: I Need Advice

[Christine]

Hounds are great dogs, that said they are hunting animals. Rabbits, squirrels etc are prey. I've never understood the passion to have a rodent in the house so I cant speak to a guinea pig, however you can certainly keep both pets if you create and maintain boundaries. We have exotic birds and a great dane. Normally you wouldn't have those in the same house, but with appropriate training and established boundaries it is very possible.

Believe me, even though I've grown to love the guinea pig, I never wanted one. My daughter decided it would be a neat thing to get one during her last year of college. She then moved back home with him. Now she's moved out, into a house that does not allow pets of any kind so guess who gets it? I even asked her today if she could take him but she says she absolutely can't.

 

[Christine]

Oh, and I think your instincts about the crate are likely correct. One of my dogs had major separation anxiety and actually used to harm herself in the crate trying to get out. I would come home and literally find blood in the crate and her nose and paws with injuries. I stopped forcing it, and kept her gated in the kitchen. (Where, you might remember, we videotaped her pushing a chair up to the kitchen gate and jumping over at five months old! She was my high maintenance girl!) There's little doubt it would cause you a lot of anxiety while you're at work, if nothing else. One of the reasons we haven't found the right dog yet is because I have a 93 year old in the house to consider (who recently fractured her hip). I can't have a dog around who might knock her over or anything like that. I am looking for a German Shepherd and there are so many things to consider with rescues (though I have applied for many reportedly mellow ones at this point). It think it is somewhat difficult to take a dog sight unseen before you see how things go. So don't beat yourself up over it.

Thank you. You are making me feel a little less like a monster. I'm sure the dog has forgotten me by now. I just can't forget her face or how she was licking and hanging by my side as I sat in the room with her giving her up.

 

[sonnyjane]

Thanks. I think I'm done for a while.

I think you did the right thing returning the dog. I don't think you were ready for it, and don't think you *will* be ready for it until you figure out a solution with your guinea pig and can be in a mindset of not worrying every time you leave the house (or even room). Just spoil your guinea in the meantime.

 

[belleatdisney]

I think you did the right thing. A dog like that probably needs a lot of exercise and you said yourself it would be hard to provide it. And the stress of the GP would be even harder. Lesson learned.

How about a nice older lab or retriever? They are kind, easily trained, patient and can be couch potatoes. Just a suggestion. Good luck on your search.

 

[Christine]

I think you did the right thing. A dog like that probably needs a lot of exercise and you said yourself it would be hard to provide it. And the stress of the GP would be even harder. Lesson learned.

How about a nice older lab or retriever? They are kind, easily trained, patient and can be couch potatoes. Just a suggestion. Good luck on your search.

Yes, I may need to go in that direction. I was looking at breeds with very short coats. Every retriever I know is a huge shedder, but really sweet dogs.

 

[belleatdisney]

I am biased because all I have had are Golden’s. Sweet is the perfect description.

They are shedders. Brushing is a must, and if you bathe or get them groomed regularly it cuts way down on the amount of hair that is free floating. But there will be hair.

Good luck in your search.

 

[tzolkin]

3. When she was out of the crate I felt as if I needed to be right up next to her. I couldn't do anything else in the house and I guess I was not prepared for that.

Honestly, this is what you should expect for any new dog regardless of age. At least initially, the dog should basically be attached to you. And if you are distracted and can’t provide your undivided attention, they need to go back in the crate.

I think failing to do this is the biggest issue most people have with training.

Once the dog is reliably house trained and has learned what behavior is acceptable (chewing, counter surfing, etc) then you can relax. For some dogs this might be a week; for others it might be months.

Right now, though, I feel like the worst person ever. I hope I'm being overly dramatic but all I can think about is how I must have confused that poor dog.

You are certainly not the worst person ever. You are being thoughtful enough in your decision to make sure you will adopt a dog that is the right fit for your family.

I am sure the dog will find another family that is a good fit and will live a happy life. I think our current culture of vilifying anyone who would give up or return a dog sometimes does more harm than good. Why should a family keep a dog that is not a good fit when the dog could live a happier and more fulfilling life in a different type of family?

 

[kidshop]

That must have been very hard. I guess I know why it is not usually done, but I really think it would be better if a new dog came with a trial period like a weekend to see if you are a good fit for each other. I see no harm in that, as it is in the best interest of the dog for its people to REALLY want it. I honestly would have been uncomfortable committing to a lifelong relationship with an unknown dog after just a few minute meeting. Fosters can help with the unknown parts, and I was lucky to meet with my puppy several times before he was ready to come home since he was born in foster and his foster mama is lovely!

I agree there is no shame in retuning and cute puppies go very fast, so a new family is almost certain to adopt her quickly.

 

[tzolkin]

That must have been very hard. I guess I know why it is not usually done, but I really think it would be better if a new dog came with a trial period like a weekend to see if you are a good fit for each other. I see no harm in that, as it is in the best interest of the dog for its people to REALLY want it. I honestly would have been uncomfortable committing to a lifelong relationship with an unknown dog after just a few minute meeting. Fosters can help with the unknown parts, and I was lucky to meet with my puppy several times before he was ready to come home since he was born in foster and his foster mama is lovely!

I agree there is no shame in retuning and cute puppies go very fast, so a new family is almost certain to adopt her quickly.

Several rescues near me do a trial period (usually two weeks). Of course with any rescue you can always return a dog, but I think specifying it up front avoids having people feel as guilty and stressed as the OP.

You really can’t get a feel for how a dog will fit into your home from a 15 minute meet and greet at a random location.

 

[Hills4diz]

So I come at this kind of conversation from a different slant. I rescue birds. Exotics to be precise. Exotic birds live very long lives. If any fool out there says that animals do not have souls then they are indeed fools. My personal slant on this is that the dog was taken to a new home, started to become acclimated, and then due to no fault of his/her own was ripped out of that bright future. Now imagine yourself as a 10 year old child in that same situation as a foster child. That is about the approximate age mentally as that dog. From your posts you are looking for a thing, not a person. Each animal is a person, not a thing. Before you adopt please think before you act as this kind of confusion does affect the poor animal way longer after you've forgotten the episode.

Also since I am on this thread, do not adopt exotic birds and think it is cute to teach them foul adult language. They live very long lives and if you end up getting rid of them because they become a hindrance to you they will have a very hard time finding a future home.

 

[tzolkin]

My personal slant on this is that the dog was taken to a new home, started to become acclimated, and then due to no fault of his/her own was ripped out of that bright future. Now imagine yourself as a 10 year old child in that same situation as a foster child. That is about the approximate age mentally as that dog. From your posts you are looking for a thing, not a person. Each animal is a person, not a thing. Before you adopt please think before you act as this kind of confusion does affect the poor animal way longer after you've forgotten the episode.

I definitely think dogs have feelings and can think, but I do not agree with your argument here.

A dog is not the mental equivalent of a 10 year old child. And this is not the same thing as a foster child living in a home, becoming acclimated, and then being “ripped from that bright future”.

A dog is similar to a 2 year old child in its mental abilities. And this dog was at her house for ONE DAY. That’s like a brief visit to a new place with some new people. (If my dog stays over one night with a sitter or family member she doesn’t become acclimated/attached and believe that’s her new family/home.) Also, the dog has no concept of adoption, fostering, etc so it can’t have expectations about its future the same ways we would.

 

[wenrob]

So I come at this kind of conversation from a different slant. I rescue birds. Exotics to be precise. Exotic birds live very long lives. If any fool out there says that animals do not have souls then they are indeed fools. My personal slant on this is that the dog was taken to a new home, started to become acclimated, and then due to no fault of his/her own was ripped out of that bright future. Now imagine yourself as a 10 year old child in that same situation as a foster child. That is about the approximate age mentally as that dog. From your posts you are looking for a thing, not a person. Each animal is a person, not a thing. Before you adopt please think before you act as this kind of confusion does affect the poor animal way longer after you've forgotten the episode.

Also since I am on this thread, do not adopt exotic birds and think it is cute to teach them foul adult language. They live very long lives and if you end up getting rid of them because they become a hindrance to you they will have a very hard time finding a future home.

I think you need to take a step back. The OP did the right thing. It would not have been good for her or the pup to stay in a situation that did not work for either of them.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

I would advise looking for a dog with a low “prey drive” since you have a guinea pig.

We adopted a 6 month old rescue westie puppy, and we have 2 cats. He has a crazy strong prey drive, and it has taken A LOT of trIning, but at least the cats could run, jump, and swat, to keep him away at first.

 

[Christine]

Thanks everyone for your continued comments. I ended up taking the day off work today. I cried so hard yesterday, I gave myself a migraine. I know I shouldn't torture myself but I have been scanning the rescue's site for her photo to go back up, but it hasn't. It's very likely she was adopted out later that day, but I'll know for sure today I think. It *might* make me feel a bit better. I've been trying to gain some rational perspective on this so I am not delving into hysterics unnecessarily. Tried to tell myself to view our day together as a "foster" situation where the dog got at least a day of undivided attention, two really good walks in the woods, a romp in a big yard and lots of snuggles. All while she was still on medication for her recent spay. Logically, I know the dog has forgotten about me (probably 10 minutes after I left) and I'm the one who will remember for a long time.

 

[Christine]

Several rescues near me do a trial period (usually two weeks). Of course with any rescue you can always return a dog, but I think specifying it up front avoids having people feel as guilty and stressed as the OP.

You really can’t get a feel for how a dog will fit into your home from a 15 minute meet and greet at a random location.

I agree with you on this. The rescue is big on fostering but not a quick foster-to-adopt. I've tried to adopt several of their dogs that are being fostered but the fosters have been almost impossible to connect with. Even then, they want to meet you a store (which I did for one) like Petco for the meet and greet. The adoption center, where about half of their dogs are housed, has two big play yards so at least you can get them out and hang out for a while. But nothing prepares you for how they will be when you get to your house and they start to relax. What I saw when I got home (and not in the rescue) was a dog with way more energy then I think our lifestyle would allow for her. We spent about an hour with her at the rescue and she was very docile there. She was docile at home too, which was great, but as she started "feeling her oats" I kind of knew that us being a working couple would be bad for her. My last dog was perfectly fine with it from the get-go.

We have another rescue in the area that does Foster-to-Adopt but mainly only for their young puppies. I think it's a good idea.

Once everything calms down, I was going to contact to the rescue to see if they accept fosters for weekends just to have a family assess the dog in a home situation. I think I might like to do that but it's probably too short of a time.

 

[Christine]

I would advise looking for a dog with a low “prey drive” since you have a guinea pig.

We adopted a 6 month old rescue westie puppy, and we have 2 cats. He has a crazy strong prey drive, and it has taken A LOT of trIning, but at least the cats could run, jump, and swat, to keep him away at first.

The good thing about cats is that they can fight back. I know several people who have cats and fairly aggressive dogs. Once the cat swatted the dog, the dog learned. Poor guinea pig can't do anything.

 

[LovesTimone]

First take breath...nice and deep... and slowly exhale... do this a few times to help you de-stress a bit...

If they are a young dog, you can slowly introduce the dog to the G-pig, she might just be curious about it... though I would not leave the top of the crate open.... our friends have this crazy ball thing that they put their G-Pig in and it roams all over the house, and the cats are so use to it now that they just ignore it... at first they would chase it around the house...now they just turn there nose up at it...

When we brought our Littleman home years ago... he had a crate it was his safe space, we never closed the door... we sectioned off a area and once he got the potty pads, and house training down we gave him more area, and more area until he ruled the house...

Wishing for you pixie dust and patience....

 

[2Kds2K9]

Christine, sounds like you made the right decision, even if your heart is hurting. I’d like to suggest you check out the Fairfax County Animal Shelter. First of all, it is a no kill shelter, although they can’t call themselves that since they do euthanize, but only in cases of end of life health or extreme aggression. (They have a 93% live release rate). The shelter has over 300 volunteers in various capacities. I walk dogs. What that entails is I go in once a week for two hours and walk the dogs in the adoption area and in holding. Out back there is a huge yard that also has five large runs. I can spend as much time as I want with the pups. All the shelter asks is that I commit 6 hours a month. (I think people spend more than that in line at Starbucks!)

They also have a huge foster program. Dogs will go into foster homes for various reasons. Most of the dogs in the adoption area go home to a foster when the shelter is closed. This allows the dog to get a break from the shelter and the foster does a write up on the dog for potential adopters. This is great for strays as we can find out how they do in the home; are they house trained, good with kids, other animals, high energy or couch potatoes. Also, if a dog is not doing well in the shelter, it will go to foster and be adopted out that way. They also have Power Hours where a volunteer will take an adoptable dog out of the shelter for a long walk or run.

What I’m getting as is don’t ignore the shelter. You can keep an eye out as to what is up for adoption, OR you could volunteer and have first look.

I have only lightly touched on what the shelter does for the animals. It is definitely not the shelter of the past as their goal is to get the animals healthy and into a happy and safe home. Also, if at anytime the adoption does not work, the shelter will take the dog back.

I started volunteering there over three years ago and I have to say I love it! First of all, I was mind blown at how well the animals are taken care of there. In addition to the volunteers, there is a caretaker staff, vet and adoption counselors. My DH can’t do it as he’s afraid he’ll come home with all the pups. I go in with the mindset that I’m there to socialize, exercise and give them some love while they await their forever family to find them.

Good luck in your search for a new pup and please go check out the shelter!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

The greyhound rescue I was working with also was not thrilled about my work schedule

Rant time:


I am super over "rescues". These people have such an attitude. I want a dog. I can take care of a dog. I can walk a dog. I can take a dog to a dog park. I can train a dog. No, my yard isn't fenced. Yes, I work. But the rescue people? Oh, no, that's not good enough.

Well guess what, rescue people? You got too many dogs to take care of and you are too darn picky!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Edit: never mind.