mamabunny
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2012
I wish my husband felt that way. He says he doesn’t want to be seen with me if I rent one again. So I’m taking my cane and only going to parks one day because I can’t handle it. I’m in pain now with hip bursitis and icing and prescription strength Motrin are not helping anymore. I’m really hoping it’s better after swimming. We leave tomorrow but are not going to MK until Tues. I have not been in years and I really want to go.
What is his worry about being "seen with you" if you rent an ECV? I would think he'd be more concerned about your well-being than any perceived strange looks from others because you're using an ECV. IMO he needs to get over his selfishness and read the post by @mamabunny to gain some understanding.
So, I know that there are a lot of people who have different reasons why they are worried, or unhappy that a member of their family needs to use a personal mobility device at Disney World.
My FIL was a prime example of this: he was afraid for my MIL to use a wheelchair or scooter because he (incorrectly) believed that she would "never get up and walk again" afterward. He thought it was the beginning of the end of her mobility, and that from then on she would never want to walk independently again.
And he was also worried about our group being "a problem" because of the scooter. He didn't want us to have to (potentially) split up across 2 buses, or for the scooter to get stuck in a queue, or that somehow, someone would be offended by the sight of my MIL with her fluffy white hair and tweety-bird glasses on a rental scooter.
He said that it marked them as "old" and they most certainly were not, thank you very much. "Old is as old does!"
He thought that it would prevent them from seeing all of the attractions, or being able to ride certain rides. Even though he had zero interest in riding Pirates, he wanted the option, I guess?
He believed that there were whole sections of the Parks that they were not allowed to take the scooter into. (He was confusing Disney World with Silver Dollar City, which does have some paths marked as not safe for wheelchairs and scooters, and has an alternate route for those paths)
He was also afraid that she would run over someone or would wreck the scooter. I have to give him that point; she was NOT a good automobile driver; I have never seen an entire family refuse to ride with their mother before, or since. Neurodivergence can affect people of all ages, and she did not have the focus to be able to use a scooter in a crowded theme park.
In other words, he was scared about her driving. But he found all of these other reasons (plus a few more) why she shouldn't use a scooter.
Sometimes, when we are scared about something, it's because we don't understand what is going to happen, or why. Maybe it's because we don't understand how much the very thing we are most scared of is needed. And sometimes we are just scared at the thought of something new.
It's OK to be scared. What's *not* OK is to not communicate.
Our friend @snowwite has some options. Which one is the right one for their situation is known only to them.
Some of the options I can think of (please see footnote below!)...
Start by asking the hubby exactly what it is that bothers him about the scooter. *Not* "what bothers you about me using a scooter", but just "what is it about the scooter that you don't like?" Remove the personal element from the conversation.
Talk about tools. Remind him that we all use tools in our lives, everyday - and a mobility device is just another tool. That scooter - or ECV, or mobility device, or whatever you want to call it - is nothing more than a *tool* you are using to get a job done. The job is to get you from point A to point B while minimizing/eliminating any further damage to you. That's it. That's all.
If you have ever used, or known someone who uses eyeglasses... that's a tool, to see better.
If you have ever used, or known someone who uses hearing aids... that's a tool to hear better.
Just like a hammer is a tool used with a nail, an ECV is a tool used by a human who has a physical need.
Your goal for this trip is to arrive home in at least the same - if not better - condition than when you left. The ECV is a tool to help you accomplish that task.
Explain to him that for you, vacation is about fun, not adding (more) pain.
Put your foot down, and refuse to go unless and until he agrees to a trial of the scooter. Explain that you don't want to cause yourself any more harm, and that the scooter is in service of that. (SEE THE FOOTNOTE BELOW, READ IT AND UNDERSTAND IT PRIOR TO USING THIS OPTION.)
Rent the scooter anyway. Show him how much better you feel at the end of the day. Show him that instead of hurting, and being able to do less in the parks, now you can stay longer and do more in the parks. Show him, don't tell him. (SEE THE FOOTNOTE BELOW, READ IT AND UNDERSTAND IT PRIOR TO USING THIS OPTION.)
Now what a person like @snowwite decides to do is entirely up to them. We don't know their husband, or even a fraction of their situation. So, I'm not going to say any more, other than this: We need to remember as a community that often our loved ones are as scared, and mad, and sad about our disability(s) as we are. Sometimes they have not been able to express that to anyone. Sometimes, they are afraid to discuss it with us.
And sometimes, they just need to know what *we* need to be successful.
Good luck, @snowwite
NOTE: Mamabunny is NOT responsible for the action(s), inaction(s), trauma, drama, divorce or any cancellation(s) that may or may not occur as a result of the advice given above. In other words, you are a grownup adult human, and you are responsible for yourself, and what happens if you elect to follow any and/all of previously referenced advice. Use your best judgement. Mamabunny is not a doctor, lawyer, butcher, baker or candlestick maker, and accepts no responsibility for the outcome of your life.
And seriously, be safe above all else.
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