wenrob
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2008
All true. We don’t know how old the OP’s MIL is though. Sometimes people say ‘elderly’ and the person is in their 60s, early 70s rather than say their 80s-90s. They say she’s working part time so there’s some level of self sufficiency there. I just think the advice of ‘sell the house, pay off the debt’ is reactionary. IMO the first order of business should be getting a clear picture of the situation and solid legal advice.I also would not suggest selling the house immediately. However, since she has not been in the practice of taking care of anything up to this point, I do believe a house will be too much to keep up herself. Everything will depend on how much income she ends up having, of course. But when my dad died, my mom stayed in the house for about a year and a half and then she was ready for something maintenance free and more secure feeling for her. And she had plenty of money. Had she not, it would not have been an option to stay in her home. Upkeep, taxes and insurance could clean a person on a limited income out very quickly. My mother in law moved to a small apartment a few years after my father in law passed away.
In your case, OP, I still think moving in the direction of selling the house in the not too distant future is the best thing to do. If your mother in law is unable to manage money, she could end up defaulting on it. And if she won't accept your help it could happen before you even know there is a problem. Right now is the best time to set up a plan with her, while she is open to your input.
When my paternal grandfather died all my grandma had was the house. No retirement, no savings. He had a habit of starting failed businesses. Not sure what level of debt there was as I was a teenager at the time but I do know that if not for that house she would have been poverty stricken. She was in her early 60s at the time. She stayed in that house up until a few months before she died at 84. Anyway, keeping it was in her best interest. It may not be in the OP’s MIL’s. It just wouldn’t be *my* first reaction.
The lesson here folks: keep your spouse abreast of what’s going on financially. “Shielding” them is never a good idea.