Here right now. have the GAC ... Life is still h*ll. can Disney help??

[ppony]

Here's a perfect example of learning. Our whole vacation, he didn't take off his shoes, not once. Not for diaper changes, not for sleeping! NOT. ONCE. That's one of the few words he says too becuse no shoes on is a big deal for him. Compared to the days up to his 3rd BD where he would wear any shoes that weren't Hanna Anderson moccasins. "SHOE! SHOE! SHOE!" is what we hear if we take them off (outside of the home), they are falling off or have fallen off.
Yesterday though, in the line at security at MCO, he took them off! He didn't need to as kids 12 and under don't have to, but he looked around, saw everyone else doing it, do he went and did it all on his own. Of course, he was agitated until they came through the scanner, but then he was good.

 

[Disneylvr]

LOL at the shoe story! My daughter HATES shoes and will do everything to get them off. We finally started putting her in high tops about 4 years ago (she is now 9, non-verbal etc...) and she can't just kick those off like other sneakers. Before we did that she lost shoes on the school bus, in the mall and during Disney on the monorail.... We got in trouble in a local restaurant once because she had managed to get them off without us noticing and they had a "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE" rule posted on their door.

 

[dmdelight]

We got in trouble in a local restaurant once because she had managed to get them off without us noticing and they had a "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE" rule posted on their door.

seriously? that's outrageous-what kind of customer service is that?!
i sincerely hope you have never gone back

 

[lovethattink]

seriously? that's outrageous-what kind of customer service is that?!
i sincerely hope you have never gone back

Most places that serve food are required by law to have a shirt and shoes policy.

I've seen cm at Disney tell parents their child may not walk or go on an attraction because of no shoes or no shirt.

My son and I had a discussion about clothing today. His general consensus was that clothing doesn't feel good, therefore he shouldn't have to wear it. We went to the grocery store, so he got dressed. Came home and immediately he started shedding. He always tells me it disturbs him when someone else isn't properly dressed. So I told him it disturbed me to see him in just his boxers. The compromise was boxers and his favorite polo.

 

[Disneylvr]

seriously? that's outrageous-what kind of customer service is that?!
i sincerely hope you have never gone back

We weren't angry. I didn't even realize she had slipped off her shoes and left them by the front door.. We just had her put them back on. They weren't very nice at first when informing us "She can't be in here without shoes!" but they quickly realized what the situation might be and I think were a bit embarrassed about their overreaction. We just smiled, thanked them, put her shoes back on and went on with our meal. And no we haven't been back, their food was horrible!

Our rule is that shoes must be worn at school, in public etc.... However if she is wearing slip ons, regular sneakers etc. that can easily slip off she will as soon as we turn away from her. The only solution that has worked are the high tops which is wears most of the time. We take them off as soon as she is home from school because I know for her, wearing shoes is painful. The therapists that work with her compare it to feeling like us having to wear a shoe with a marble in it.

 

[ttintagel]

AHHHH! Home at last, and with a REAL keyboard!

So... ready for your next trip yet?

 

[Schmeck]

We weren't angry. I didn't even realize she had slipped off her shoes and left them by the front door.. We just had her put them back on. They weren't very nice at first when informing us "She can't be in here without shoes!" but they quickly realized what the situation might be and I think were a bit embarrassed about their overreaction. We just smiled, thanked them, put her shoes back on and went on with our meal. And no we haven't been back, their food was horrible!

Our rule is that shoes must be worn at school, in public etc.... However if she is wearing slip ons, regular sneakers etc. that can easily slip off she will as soon as we turn away from her. The only solution that has worked are the high tops which is wears most of the time. We take them off as soon as she is home from school because I know for her, wearing shoes is painful. The therapists that work with her compare it to feeling like us having to wear a shoe with a marble in it.

Have you tried brushing her feet with a stiff or soft hairbrush to help desensitize her foot nerves?

 

[Disneylvr]

Have you tried brushing her feet with a stiff or soft hairbrush to help desensitize her foot nerves?

We do brush her feet using the same brushes that we used for the brushing protocol but she still doesn't care for shoes. It is really strange because she does like to get foot massages but can't stand shoes. She is non-verbal so I really don't know what it is exactly that she doesn't like about shoes. I can only make guesses to that. She also won't wear hats or gloves.

 

[ValiantHeart]

Hmm.. I must admit I'm not an expert on autism, but my little cousin is verbal, and he doesn't like wearing shoes, hats, or gloves because he says they make him feel confined. That may be it

Anyway, OP, I'm glad your trip got better! And even if it wasn't perfect, it was still WDW!

 

[ppony]

So... ready for your next trip yet?

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

That ticker AIN'T lyin'!!! I need a few years.

 

[ppony]

Have you tried brushing her feet with a stiff or soft hairbrush to help desensitize her foot nerves?

I know that's what helped us get shoes on our guy. Granted, he's still wearing his first pair of shoes after 2 years. The first pair he would wear anyway. Thankfully we bought them roomy to give him a less confining feel and I think that worked . (sidebar: yes, to the confining w/ hats and jackets too). He's now ready for a new pair and we bought him...wait for it, ones that light up! He still won't put them on but the need isn't dire yet. We'll work w/ his teachers and therapists. Between us all, I think we can get this done.

 

[ppony]

Hmm.. I must admit I'm not an expert on autism, but my little cousin is verbal, and he doesn't like wearing shoes, hats, or gloves because he says they make him feel confined. That may be it

Anyway, OP, I'm glad your trip got better! And even if it wasn't perfect, it was still WDW!

I wouldn't doubt all your said about being confined. I'm sure that could be part of, if not IT.
Yep. As I told my DH and my family and friend back home, we're still blessed to be able to go. It's a point we make to do this kind of vacation while the kids are young because we all know, the aren't for long!

Thanks to you guys, it really did help to be reminded to just lower expectations and ride the wave. Be OK w/ doing 3 hours (give or tak) in a park at a time or even not going and enjoying resorts. I felt guilty that my oldest and DH weren't able to do as much, but they were both SO one w/ the family unit on it all, so I was lucky there too.

I'll be replying to posts now that I'm Mike Wizowski and I'm on got-your-life-back-lane. One fun final note to the trip though???? My friend picked us up in our car) and then dropped us at our home, we got into the house, let Daniel in to settle in fastest while we all unloaded the car. Yeah, well, the door locked behind us and all our keys were INSIDE! Can you stand it? TWICE getting locked out of our home? once in WDW, once here? I've never been locked out of anything in my life! Not even my car! So here all 3 of us are outside and Daniel, the autistic one, inside! THANKFULLY my DH still had his phone on him (mine was, yes, inside) and I called my mom who had a key. We used to have a spare, but she had it and we never remembered to ask for it back. I live less than a mile from the police station so that was next I guess. I don't know. Maybe breaking a door or window would have worked. We got in though, about 40 minutes later and he was passed out on the sofa in the livingroom. We never heard him cry, so he knew where we were anyway.

 

[ppony]

Exactly, every ASD child is completely different. What works for one may or may not work for another. It's a judgement call we have to make all the time, taking the path of least resistance or dealing with another full blown meltdown.

OP, we went through the buying thing too. His psychologist at the time suggested we make a social story about shopping and not always getting something. We took it with us every time we went anywhere that had toys. I still have to let him know before we arrive at our destination if he may or may not get anything, and I can't make it conditional because he doesn't understand it. It has to be an absolute. Also had to make a shopping list and adhere to it. No impulse buying on my part to set an example too.

Last year, someone in an Asperger's group suggested I buy the book The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children. This book has been life changing for our family!! I highly suggest anyone who has or works with ASD children reads it.

We have started telling him what you suggested. I'm not sure right now, he can understand it. Maybe he can, or maybe he will w/ repetition. BUT, you have to treat them as if they can and hope some of it does stick. Right?


By the end of the trip, we were staying OUT of stores, doing the human shield and using the umbrella when we had it. Those techniques helped a LOT. Ironic, what used to be one of our favorite things about WDW, the shopping, is the one thing we HAVE to avoid.

I'll add that to my list of books to read!

 

[lovethattink]

I know that's what helped us get shoes on our guy. Granted, he's still wearing his first pair of shoes after 2 years. The first pair he would wear anyway. Thankfully we bought them roomy to give him a less confining feel and I think that worked . (sidebar: yes, to the confining w/ hats and jackets too). He's now ready for a new pair and we bought him...wait for it, ones that light up! He still won't put them on but the need isn't dire yet. We'll work w/ his teachers and therapists. Between us all, I think we can get this done.

We had a HUGE problem with shoes when he grew out of the first pair he liked. Now, when I find a shoe he will wear, I buy every size that he will grow into.

It was a very sad day for him when he outgrew his Star Wars Clone Wars light up shoes a couple weeks ago. He has them saved in his room as a special memory. He said he had some very good times with those shoes and they are special. He is totally attatched to them.

We have started telling him what you suggested. I'm not sure right now, he can understand it. Maybe he can, or maybe he will w/ repetition. BUT, you have to treat them as if they can and hope some of it does stick. Right?


By the end of the trip, we were staying OUT of stores, doing the human shield and using the umbrella when we had it. Those techniques helped a LOT. Ironic, what used to be one of our favorite things about WDW, the shopping, is the one thing we HAVE to avoid.

I'll add that to my list of books to read!

Shopping is another time we have to split up and do individually without him. DTD works great because I can to into WoD and they can go to the Lego Store and play.

I hope the book helps you as much as it helped us. The biggest help was learning how to recognize the signs of a meltdown coming and learning how to stop it before it comes. That in and of itself makes that book work gold to me!!

 

[PatMcDuck]

Please forgive me, I am not being unkind here, but is he having FUN? Does he like going to Disney parks? Maybe the parks are just not his thing? I have a nephew with Aspergers, and the parks are sure not his thing. (he prefers going fishing, or something quiet and calm, like that). My sister and her family had to accept that, and plan trips that would work for them.

My son has autism and Downs, we are here now too. (he is obsessed with the Disney parks, and the rides, characters)

I hope it gets better, I feel your pain. I have had my own problems this trip, I am here alone with my adult 22 year old son. Pushing him around, showering him, etc. We had one complete toileting disaster at the Studios, the details will not be mentioned here, just let me say he needed a change from head to toe.

 

[ppony]

Please forgive me, I am not being unkind here, but is he having FUN? Does he like going to Disney parks? Maybe the parks are just not his thing? I have a nephew with Aspergers, and the parks are sure not his thing. (he prefers going fishing, or something quiet and calm, like that). My sister and her family had to accept that, and plan trips that would work for them.

My son has autism and Downs, we are here now too. (he is obsessed with the Disney parks, and the rides, characters)

I hope it gets better, I feel your pain. I have had my own problems this trip, I am here alone with my adult 22 year old son. Pushing him around, showering him, etc. We had one complete toileting disaster at the Studios, the details will not be mentioned here, just let me say he needed a change from head to toe.

While I'm so sorry for your experiences too , it does make me feel better that ther are people out there that understand and can help each other, even if only as a listening ear.

Yanno? We're home now and I'm not totally sure. I CAN tell you he does love more quiet activities, usually. The ferry was a favorite. But he has an incredible love for The Big Cheese. that was a must so we had to get to him. He will hardly wear an item of clothing w/o Mickey on it. I swear, we didn't do this! On the Halloween party night, our first night there, as we were leaving, early of course (but obviously after a WAY too long day for him) we stopped in to see Mickey. We KNEW we had to do that and promised him he'd meet Mickey. So in line we waited. Not terribly long thank heavens. He was a bit unruly, he clearly had reached his limit, hours ago (though we did take a several hour mid-day break). But once he saw Mickey his entire demenor changed. He smiled, cried, grabbed Mickey's nose to kiss it and hug him, then he put a Mickey hat on! One thing he would NOT do before or since actually. To meet Mickey, he felt he needed ears on.

The next morning we were at a character breakfast but it was early and it as Cape May. Nice an quiet (at 7:AM anyway ). He smiled when he saw Minnie but we were able to buffer him from all characters by being on the bench/booth seat and keeping him next to me. He was happy w/ Minnie and Donald...and then, Goofy. Well, we thought it would be OK, Goofy encouraged him to come out and for my DH and the 2 boys to take a pic. Yeah, bad idea. He didn't want to have anything to do w/ characters after that... until our last morning when we did O'Hanas (for Mickey of course) and my DH and I had to trade off as he was in total meltdown from the time we went into the resort. DH came back w/ him just in time for Mickey...and again, a magical exchange. I cried, very umbarassingly actually. After that though, he was melting down again and I had to take him out. Bless the staff, they were very comforting and actually only charged us for 2 people, not 4. We never asked for that but bless them for doing it. Cape May actually didn't charge us for Daniel either as he didn't eat a fruit loop nor did he come up from laying on the bench after the "Goofy Incedent".

ANYWAY!. Back to answering that quetsion. Monday, we deicded to do just a few hours in MK before we had to fly home. I wanted my oldest to be able to do more of that Wizards game he LOVED. So we went back to Fantasyland where we knew Daniel had the Tea-cups he loved. He liked Dumbo and this time, he pointed and at and shimmied out of his stroller to run at the carousel. That one was new for him. He didn't ride it when we first got there, but perhaps, by this last day of our trip, he was opening up to the ideas.

Anyone see a trend in his favorites? Tea Cups, Dumbo and Carousel. Yeah, not surprising given his love of spinning things (including himself) since toddler-dom. I got LOTS of pix. I'll share a few when I upload.

We are planning a DCL in Dec. of 2014. Now, as to whether we bring 1 or both kids or none, is still in question. Schooling being the main issue (my oldest will be 15 then), but of course, I'm just not wanting to spend the whole cruise in our cabin, again. My mother is WONDERFUL and could watch the kids at our house if it came to that. But I hate leaving them home. Lots can happen in a few years so who knows! I DO know, this kind of trip will NOT be repeated. We'll be more prepared next time.
On the plus side since we've been home, he's thrilled to be back in his routine and his dresser drawer that we keep all his light up toys is, of coruse, bursting, but he's THRILLED with it. That's what it's about right?

 

[jnoble82]

I'm sorry to hear part of your trip didn't go well. I can't even imagine what its like for parents with kids who have ASD, especially in places like Disney with all the stimulation (and people staring over a meltdown). I know it was touched on but about people walking by whenever there was an issue those first days...I personally try to stay out of such things. I don't know the family and figure they have a better handle on it. I don't want to insult them or make them feel like horrible people because a stranger offered to help. I have picked up items that have rolled away and given them to another adult or older child. I have made mistakes with kids who are ASD. A boy at my work went under a caution rope when we were doing an exhibit installation and I went to get him. It was only after I got to him that his mother told me he had Autism. At that point, I backed off and let her handle it as I didn't want to upset him more. Luckily, the install work on the new exhibit had paused for lunch so the boy wasn't in too much danger (there were some tools around) though I did feel bad about running after him like I did. I just didn't want him to pick up anything or run into anything. His mom didn't seem too upset but still. I try to be understanding and not judge. I don't know what its like for those parents or those kids. Its not my place to make assumptions about them. They are just kids, some of whom have a bit of a harder time communicating and who see the world in a different way. I hope your cruise goes well, with or without the kids.

 

[afnaechiquita]

Please forgive me, I am not being unkind here, but is he having FUN? Does he like going to Disney parks? Maybe the parks are just not his thing? I have a nephew with Aspergers, and the parks are sure not his thing. (he prefers going fishing, or something quiet and calm, like that). My sister and her family had to accept that, and plan trips that would work for them.

My son has autism and Downs, we are here now too. (he is obsessed with the Disney parks, and the rides, characters)

I hope it gets better, I feel your pain. I have had my own problems this trip, I am here alone with my adult 22 year old son. Pushing him around, showering him, etc. We had one complete toileting disaster at the Studios, the details will not be mentioned here, just let me say he needed a change from head to toe.

Cheers to you for making the trip on your own!!