Here right now. have the GAC ... Life is still h*ll. can Disney help??

[dmdelight]

oh my goodness yes.

And Karl is a perfect example of why not to change resorts 10 time in one trip. I get anxiety just watching him bounce around. Can you imagine him as a kid on vacation? lol[/QUOTE]


that's hilarious

op-glad things have settled slightly.enjoy the remainder of your vacation.
and i agree wit pp who suggested you have some "you" time also

 

[amykathleen2005]

Honestly I think that you are teaching him that when he wants something he should have a meltdown and you will buy it for him (IE light up toys). Just because he cannot communicate verbally does not mean that he isn't taking in everything and learning from the environment.

 

[EvangelineG]

Honestly I think that you are teaching him that when he wants something he should have a meltdown and you will buy it for him (IE light up toys). Just because he cannot communicate verbally does not mean that he isn't taking in everything and learning from the environment.

I think that every child is different, and that as parents we sometimes have to chose the teachable moments. An extremely sensory overwhelming WDW trip, when everyone is likely tired, may not be the best time to choose for drawing a line in the sand to teach a lesson. The child is likely way too overwhelmed to really learn anything in that moment, and you're just going to get an explosion of frustration and anxiety again and again and again, making the vacation way more difficult and miserable for everyone.

It sounds like the OP decided that the path of least resistance was the best one for her family in that one instance. It sounds pretty reasonable to me.

To the OP, glad things are getting a little better.

 

[Nik's Mom]

It all goes back to experience. I made plenty of mistakes in the beginning. I highly recommend to every parent that they go to parent autism conferences in your area. I have learned so much from then.

Giving in is the last thing you want to do. But you need to know what to do to avoid the meltdowns first. The poor kid is so overwhelmed right now. And mom is desperately trying to keep him calm. It's hard for everyone.

 

[amykathleen2005]

It sounds like the OP decided that the path of least resistance was the best one for her family in that one instance. It sounds pretty reasonable to me.

She also stated that she was going broke buying her child multiples of every light up toy over and over again. That doesn't sound reasonable to me. One fine, not a big deal, but if she really is buying all of these things it is too much.

 

[EvangelineG]

She also stated that she was going broke buying her child multiples of every light up toy over and over again. That doesn't sound reasonable to me. One fine, not a big deal, but if she really is buying all of these things it is too much.

I guess my point in responding is really that this mom is at the beginning of her ASD parenting journey, and it sounds like at a steep part in the learning curve. She's on a holiday which she described as "h*ll". It sounds like she's doing the best she can in an overwhelming situation. I don't disagree with you that consistency and consequences are just as important for an ASD kid as any kid, more important actually. I'm just sympathizing with this mom's overwhelming situation, and saying there is a time for teaching when your kid can absorb it, and this may not be it, and it's up to the OP to decide when that time is or is not for her own particular child.

 

[lovethattink]

I think that every child is different, and that as parents we sometimes have to chose the teachable moments. An extremely sensory overwhelming WDW trip, when everyone is likely tired, may not be the best time to choose for drawing a line in the sand to teach a lesson. The child is likely way too overwhelmed to really learn anything in that moment, and you're just going to get an explosion of frustration and anxiety again and again and again, making the vacation way more difficult and miserable for everyone.

It sounds like the OP decided that the path of least resistance was the best one for her family in that one instance. It sounds pretty reasonable to me.

To the OP, glad things are getting a little better.

Exactly, every ASD child is completely different. What works for one may or may not work for another. It's a judgement call we have to make all the time, taking the path of least resistance or dealing with another full blown meltdown.

OP, we went through the buying thing too. His psychologist at the time suggested we make a social story about shopping and not always getting something. We took it with us every time we went anywhere that had toys. I still have to let him know before we arrive at our destination if he may or may not get anything, and I can't make it conditional because he doesn't understand it. It has to be an absolute. Also had to make a shopping list and adhere to it. No impulse buying on my part to set an example too.

Last year, someone in an Asperger's group suggested I buy the book The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children. This book has been life changing for our family!! I highly suggest anyone who has or works with ASD children reads it.

 

[SueM in MN]

oh my goodness yes.

And Karl is a perfect example of why not to change resorts 10 time in one trip. I get anxiety just watching him bounce around. Can you imagine him as a kid on vacation? lol

My DD does not have autism, but has significant disabilities - including not being able to speak.
One time, years ago, we had to switch resorts from OKW to SSR Zin the middle of our stay. OKW was not available for all the days in a row that we were at WDW.

As we were packing up to move, DD seemed to be getting quite upset.

She had just gotten a new communication device to trial about a week before we left for vacation. I got it out and asked her if she could find something on it to explain what was bothering her. What she used it to say was:
Think vacation all finished

We had thought she heard us earlier when we were discussing the move, but realized she had not. And, besides DH and I had been to SSR, but she had not.

She would have figured it out when we got to SSR, but I was thankful she had a way to tell us - it saved her about 3 hours of wondering. How difficult it must be to either not understand what's going on or not be able to tell people what is upsetting to you!

 

[buffettgirl]

My DD does not have autism, but has significant disabilities - including not being able to speak.
One time, years ago, we had to switch resorts from OKW to SSR Zin the middle of our stay. OKW was not available for all the days in a row that we were at WDW.

As we were packing up to move, DD seemed to be getting quite upset.

She had just gotten a new communication device to trial about a week before we left for vacation. I got it out and asked her if she could find something on it to explain what was bothering her. What she used it to say was:
Think vacation all finished

We had thought she heard us earlier when we were discussing the move, but realized she had not. And, besides DH and I had been to SSR, but she had not.

She would have figured it out when we got to SSR, but I was thankful she had a way to tell us - it saved her about 3 hours of wondering. How difficult it must be to either not understand what's going on or not be able to tell people what is upsetting to you!

My heart just breaks for our kids when something like that happens. But then it makes me glad that she was able to tell you. How much worse is it for kids who can't communicate or can't understand even when they've been told.

For the poster a few posts back:
It's easy for other's to judge (especially others who have never been parents to a child who has different needs) and suggest that people are giving in to their child's whims. I'm sure most of us are giggling inside and thinking "If only it was that easy!" especially since many of the people here have multiple children, and for most of them simply not giving in ends the behavior we want to end. So it's not like we don't know how to parent. (I'm attempting to be generous, trying to not say that we're all feeling more than a little insulted.)

 

[lovethattink]

SueMN what a touching story. I'm sorry your daughter felt badly, but how wonderful that she had that device to communicate it to you! You said it was a trial, does she still have a mode of communication?

We are blessed that our son is verbal. Very verbal. He won't hesitate to share exactly what is on his mind. Which is good because that's how I learned that lights and sound are painful. That he wants to be touched only on his terms. That certain fabrics or neck holes in shirts are painful. etc. It's when he can't communicate that I know it's too overwhelming for him and that's usually the first sign we get from him that he's about to explode.

My heart really goes out for those of you with children who are non-verbal. I can't even imagine how frustrating it can get at times.

 

[ppony]

Thank you for the understanding from you guys who understand and remember. All children are not the same, not all ASD are as we'll. as you can see, we have an older child and these issues just didn't happen. He is nit on the spectrum, though he is ADHD. very well managed and he's doing great in school finally. We knew and still do not to give in as just an easy way out thereby creating a monster. We're seeing behaviors we never saw before, things very new to us and these meltdowns have let to a lot of big decreases, scratches and bruises here. the boy moves faster than we have ever seen! Until now, his only speed has been s-l-o-w.

We kept him out of the parks yesterday and today. He has been mostly happy. The Treehouses have do much to explore.

As you guys have said, were just learning and doing our best. There was no way to know, at least WE had no idea. Thankfully the human shield and umbrella techniques worked like a charm!! THANK YOU!! Back to normal life in less than 48 hours!

PS
I probably shouldn't share this here, but perhaps you might understand a little more about my reactions and handling if this... I accidentally packed my prescription sleep MEDS and not my depression/anxiety MEDS. And naturally, thinking to try and get a refill here didn't occur to me until yesterday. . So I'm not in tip top shape.

 

[SueM in MN]

SueMN what a touching story. I'm sorry your daughter felt badly, but how wonderful that she had that device to communicate it to you! You said it was a trial, does she still have a mode of communication?

We are blessed that our son is verbal. Very verbal. He won't hesitate to share exactly what is on his mind. Which is good because that's how I learned that lights and sound are painful. That he wants to be touched only on his terms. That certain fabrics or neck holes in shirts are painful. etc. It's when he can't communicate that I know it's too overwhelming for him and that's usually the first sign we get from him that he's about to explode.

My heart really goes out for those of you with children who are non-verbal. I can't even imagine how frustrating it can get at times.

She has that same device, but has transitioned to an iPad communication app.
Much easier to bring along than a 4 pound communication device.
Plus, you can do so much more with the iPad than just talk.

Thank you for the understanding from you g'day understand and remember. All children are not the same, not all ASD are as we'll. as you can see, we have an older child and these issues just didn't happen. He is nit on the spectrum, though he is ADHD. very well managed and he's doing great in school finally. We knew and still do not to give in as just an easy way out thereby creating a monster. We're seeing behaviors we never saw before, things very new to us and these meltdowns have let to a lot of big decreases, scratches and bruises here. the boy moves faster than we have ever seen! Until now, his only speed has been s-l-o-w.

We kept him out of the parks yesterday and today. He has been mostly happy. The Treehouses have do much to explore.

As you guys have said, were just learning and doing our best. There was no way to know, at least WE had no idea. Thankfully the human shield and umbrella techniques worked like a charm!! THANK YOU!! Back to normal life in less than 48 hours!

PS
I probably shouldn't share this here, but perhaps you might understand a little more about my reactions and handling if this... I accidentally packed my prescription sleep MEDS and not my depression/anxiety MEDS. And naturally, thinking to try and get a refill here didn't occur to me until yesterday. . So I'm not in tip top shape.

Glad things are working out better.
Live and learn.
I think you are doing quite well for having the wrong meds!

Sometimes you do, not what is optimum, but what you need to do to get by.

 

[dsneprincess]

I haven't read through the entire thread, so I apologize if anyone mentioned.

Frogg Togg. Best thing ever! Both our boys have 1 & we pass them around so we all stay cool.

 

[RubySlippers]

Oh my... you had a tough time! I am so sorry .... lots of hugs coming your way!

All he's eaten on this trip is the 8 dry (uncooked)cheeseburger Haber Helper single servings, a few Cheerios cereal bars , a hand full of fruit loops and a truckload of fries.

I do not want to come off as being preachy but..here it goes... is this the normal way he eats at home?
You may want to consider a diet that does not have any processed foods. Whole, fresh, organic foods can make a huge difference for some kids. It takes time to make the switch and convenience foods are ...well...very convenient! LOL!
But you may want to do some research about diet and the effects it can have on things.
I know it has done a world of good for my son who has so many sensory issues as well as ADHD/ODD.
Good Luck! and I hope things settle down for you all when you get home and back into a routine.

 

[lovethattink]

Oh my... you had a tough time! I am so sorry .... lots of hugs coming your way!



I do not want to come off as being preachy but..here it goes... is this the normal way he eats at home?
You may want to consider a diet that does not have any processed foods. Whole, fresh, organic foods can make a huge difference for some kids. It takes time to make the switch and convenience foods are ...well...very convenient! LOL!
But you may want to do some research about diet and the effects it can have on things.
I know it has done a world of good for my son who has so many sensory issues as well as ADHD/ODD.
Good Luck! and I hope things settle down for you all when you get home and back into a routine.

I know while on vacation it's not the time to think of changing diet, but I have seen similar results from diet change as you mention. We try to eliminate processed foods from my son's diet, also dyes (especially red), gluten, sugar and sugar substitute, gum, and most recently apple juice. It was a process for us and took us two years to figure out. My son's behavior has improved so much and so had his seizure control! He can also tolerate more.

 

[disneymarie]

This is our second trip using a GAC for our severely autistic son. This is the first time though he is having a whole new set of "problems". . Not only have we not done more than 3 rides a day because he now will NOT leave his stroller, but he isn't able to go more that 3 hours tops in this heat and humidity. We've been letting him sleep and call the shots on when we go to a park because we've been faced w/ massive meltdowns unless he gets enough sleep. We do go back to the park for an hour or 2 after the sun goes behind the trees, but he still is having huge meltdowns , particularly when we pass ANY ligt selling cart. It's his trigger can Disney do anything to help us get h out of the sun and heat as much as possible? My GAC right now is just for his stroller but I'm not sure what if anything they can do and I hoped you experts might know.

The trip has been miserable. People are staring at us when he melts down and when things fall off our pack mule (AKA stroller) almost moone has lifted a finger to help. Not that they HAVE to, but I've been surprised at how rude and unfriendly people have been. A few kind souls have, but most just stand around me and stare. it's been horrible. And you wouldn't believe how much we've spent in 4 days on light up toys. Yes, we're giving in more now to keep everyone happy, but its unbelievably out of hand and he's got the scrapes and bruises to prove it. So do we. Lots of bites, scratches and hits.

I ran into this with myself recently. I left me family member wait were no area out of the sun, they left me sit where comfortable and a CM contacted my when it was our turn. I don't know why you could not get a main line bypass to handicap entry area through fast pass?

I know my son was unable to get a stroller pass, but was able to sit off at handicap site until CM came.
Maybe Disney is too much stimulation, try the holiday time, less daylight hrs, less heat, and who did not enjoy feeling Christmas...not the holiday week, but after Thanksgiving.

 

[ppony]

Oh my... you had a tough time! I am so sorry .... lots of hugs coming your way!



I do not want to come off as being preachy but..here it goes... is this the normal way he eats at home?
You may want to consider a diet that does not have any processed foods. Whole, fresh, organic foods can make a huge difference for some kids. It takes time to make the switch and convenience foods are ...well...very convenient! LOL!
But you may want to do some research about diet and the effects it can have on things.
I know it has done a world of good for my son who has so many sensory issues as well as ADHD/ODD.
Good Luck! and I hope things settle down for you all when you get home and back into a routine.

AHHHH! Home at last, and with a REAL keyboard!

Thanks for the support, I know you didn't mean to sound "preachy or judgy".
Yes, this is absolutely identical to how he eats at home. We did bring shredded cheesed, parm. cheese and and real bacon "bits" too as he eats them a lot at home, but he wouldn't touch the shredded and the bacon. You just got a run down of his entire diet , sans juices which are all laden w/ vitamins and often the veggie juices too). He did however look like he had been eating sand as we walked the parks and the stuff was everywhere. We did get looks but thankfully no one said anything, out loud, to us. That was one thing I forgot to mention he'd eaten. BUT, I didn't figure anyone was going to question it ad I was on the phone and i HATE typing one finger. Even starting this thread, I was desperate, as you could tell.. I'm sure my DS isn't the only one on the spectrum w/ serious other issues. He had his feeding disorder diagnosis as well (and thankfully is now attending therapy at the best place in my area for kids like him that can also help in this area). . The feeding one is just one we roll with. Our pediatrician (whom we've had for 13 years and adore), therapists and school are all aware of it, we're doing our best and they know it and we keep trying. In fact, bless her ( my pediatrician) of course, at first she was super SUPER concerned w/ his diet, now that we all know him a bit better and has had the best people see him, she's completely cool w/ his diet of Slim Jims (I HATE them myself ) and cheese. It's all we can do and she's cool w/ it. It's really tough at times when you weep to see him so much smaller than he should be for his age, KNOWING why. We can only try offering good foods, the right foods, over and over and over (and using all the "tricks" in the book we know and have been taught by the feeding specialists).


More to come.

Find for me, I disocvered that while I'm 100% positive I'm not diabetic or ever pre (have ben tested multiple times in the last fe years, as recently as 3 months ago), I disovered I'm hypoglycemic. Fun times. Discover that one on vacation and watch it go wild. I nearly passed out more times than I can count. Off to the Dr. for me.

Oh the plus side, now that we're home, Daniel just got up and is loving on daddy and happy as a clam! Back to routine today!!!!!!

 

[ppony]

Honestly I think that you are teaching him that when he wants something he should have a meltdown and you will buy it for him (IE light up toys). Just because he cannot communicate verbally does not mean that he isn't taking in everything and learning from the environment.

I see that you are about 20 years younger than I am and my oldest is half your age. So I'll try to be mindful of your intentions given that fact.
Yes, I'm aware of that and I have the battle scars to prove it. My little man did NOT get everything he wanted at all meltdowns. Both my DH and I drew blood yesterday as proof. What you are judging on is only a very VERY small snippet of time in situations where EVERYTHING was less than I could handle. We DO know how to parent thanks. This isn't our first rodeo and we are well aware of what he can learn and understand despite being non-verbal. Non-verbal doesn't mean "non-observant", not in the slightest. Our 12 year old is doing WELL! In fact, he was a beacon on wonderfulness, as usual. He LOVES his little brother. (don't get me wrong though, he's still 12!!! )

THANKFULLY the buying did come to a screeching halt and we did still have our share of meltdowns, but my DH very rarely left my side to keep the support high. It almost ever failed that he would meltdown when it was just him and I. It was really REALLY hard to handle.


I'll try to go back and edit those posts guys. You all know how typing on a tiny 2 inch screen with onefinger and auto-correct can go! HORRIBLE! EEH! I'm surprised you were able to decipher at all! THANK YOU for attempting to! Now, as for all my other typos on the big computer screen? Got no excuse there, my typing stinks!

 

[ppony]

It all goes back to experience. I made plenty of mistakes in the beginning. I highly recommend to every parent that they go to parent autism conferences in your area. I have learned so much from then.

Giving in is the last thing you want to do. But you need to know what to do to avoid the meltdowns first. The poor kid is so overwhelmed right now. And mom is desperately trying to keep him calm. It's hard for everyone.

Living and learning!

 

[Disneylvr]

Honestly I think that you are teaching him that when he wants something he should have a meltdown and you will buy it for him (IE light up toys). Just because he cannot communicate verbally does not mean that he isn't taking in everything and learning from the environment.

Speaking as the parent of a child with ASD who also enjoys WDW, vacation isn't always the best time to make every behavior a teachable moment. I am not saying give in to everything, but yes we might buy a few extra toys or allow certain foods to avoid a total meltdown.