Homeschooling

[perdidochas]

I'm thinkin' the OP isn't planning on locking her in a closet, or anything... There are more places than school to spend quality time with people.

A few years ago, I had neighbors who, due to a problem child (adopted child who had major problems due to the substance abuse of his biological mother), started homeschooling all of their kids. The younger ones adapted ok, but the oldest girl who was about 11, was totally miserable. This girl changed from a fairly happy but responsible child to a miserably lonely one. Admittedly, that was just one case, but it is a possibility. IMHO, kids need kids to play with. So, at the very least, Paper1225 needs to make plans for her kids to have a social life with other kids.

 

[Brier Rose]

I have often wondered the same thing lol. I am not currently homeschooling, but looking into it for DS4. I am really bad at math and feel like it would be a bad idea for me to try and teach him math, except for the lower elementary grades. I read an article recently that said in times like this then you get a tutor. I live near LSU and there are always math classes for children in the summer and I could send him there for classes. The article basically said that you don't have to be the one to teach the child every single thing. If there are some areas you don't excel at then explore other avenues of learning.

Exactly

It gets so exasperating sometimes trying to explain the whole homeschooling thing to people who have never even bothered to do something as simple as an internet search!

The options out there are unreal! I DON"T have to teach things I don't know. "IF" I have a problem there are many MANY ways to work around it.

 

[Brier Rose]

BTW...jaycns-

Thank you so much for posting the link to headsprout!

I had never seen this before, and it was exactly what I have been looking for.

My DS has been stuggling with reading, and he is enjoying this so much I had to MAKE him stop!

TA

 

[jaycns]

A few years ago, I had neighbors who, due to a problem child (adopted child who had major problems due to the substance abuse of his biological mother), started homeschooling all of their kids. The younger ones adapted ok, but the oldest girl who was about 11, was totally miserable. This girl changed from a fairly happy but responsible child to a miserably lonely one. Admittedly, that was just one case, but it is a possibility. IMHO, kids need kids to play with. So, at the very least, Paper1225 needs to make plans for her kids to have a social life with other kids.

Let me assure you...home schooled kids are NOT (for the most part) lonely kids. Sure, you will find some that are not "properly socialized"...but you will find those in public and private school settings as well. Most "normal" children can blossom in a home school setting just as easily as they can blossom in a class room setting (and vice versa). The important thing to consider is what is right for the family and then to make sure that no matter which choice is made that every child's need is being met in that fashion.

I agree with your opinion that kids need kids to play with. I think you are making a BIG and incorrect assumption though when you feel concern over this happening just because someone home schools their child(ren). It's a fallacy based on old stereotypes and half educated estimations of what "those children" must be lacking.

I can promise anyone interested that my 10 year old is not only getting a very sound educational background but is also developing into a fine social butterfly. As I said in an earlier post, my sons are all so "normal" people are surprised to hear that they are home schooled. When I see hyper or needy children who are schooled in a classroom setting, I don't judge that to be a product soley caused by their educational venue.

I would guess that any "strange" behavior on the part of home school child is attributed (by those who have brief contact with the home school community or a limited number of children who are home schooled) to the fact that they are home schooled. That is not true. Plenty of "strange" behavior exists in all children...no matter what type of education they are receiving.

EVERYBODY would be up in arms if a home schooler started making remarks like I know this one kid in Columbine who shot up his teachers and classmates and it's cause his socialization didn't take place properly at school...."Admittedly, that was just one case, but it is a possibility"...


That was of course, an extreme example. I am just saying that you will find well behaved and ill behaved, well adjusted and not so well adjusted, introverted and extroverted and all other kinds of children in all educational settings.

Hopefully this post does not upset anyone but rather helps to bring about an understanding between parents/teachers/friends/etc of all types of children. There is nothing inherently wrong with choosing to home school that would automatically hinder a child.


**And I don't think anything is wrong with a concerned parent making the choice to home school a child (nor do I see anything wrong with them sending a child to a school) even against the child's wishes. Sure, you should talk with your child...but you are the one who needs to make the ultimate decisions about what is BEST for your child. No 11 year old child knows what is best for them all of the time.**

 

[Mo-Yo]

I don't mean to be exasperating...but I don't think my ambiguous feelings about homeschooling are really unreasonable.

As I wrote, I know about the statistics, and I know there are LOTS of success stories. I have also had some first hand experience with some folks who are in over their heads...and I'm not sure they realize it.

Like I said some of my children's experiences (and my own) with other teachers have been less than ideal, but I worry that I would lack objectivity about my abilities in certain subjects (like that poor lady who couldn't write or spell well but felt qualified to teach English.)

Ironically, I just had to call my husband at work to get help with my fifth grade son's math. I tried to help...and I came up with a few solutions that I thought were correct - only to have all of my amateur mathematical theories shot down by my husband. I run into the same problems with science...but I try.

I know homeschooling is not for sissies, and I give the folks who do it a lot of credit for taking initiative for trying to do the best for their kids.

I also know there are a lot of very qualified and dedicated people in the public school system, and they have a lot to offer kids, too.

There are a lot of options to weigh.

I would add as well that I think it would be very hard for a very social 11-year old to be forced into a homeschooling situation. I can remember myself at that age and I see my own 10 year old, and I think it would be a very tough adjustment.

My son is used to his days revolving around school, home and extra-curricular activities that all intertwined. I would think removing that aspect of his life would be pretty traumatic.

 

[DisneyMom5]

I find home-schooling to be such a puzzle.


That said, I have had several experiences with home school families that I find disturbing. Once, when looking for daycare for my one year old son, I happened upon a daycare provider, who was homeschooling her kids. The number of misspellings and grammar errors in her lessons was very disturbing to the English teacher in me. If this mom, who obviously loved her kids and wanted what was best for them, could not read and write English properly, how was she going to teach her kids literacy.

Another lady at my church, told me she was homeschooling..."well, actually non-schooling," she said. "I can't get them to do anything. But they read a lot."

Also, looking back at my teachers so many stand out in my mind for both good and bad reasons. I learned SO MUCH from them, in addition to the many wonderful things I learned from my parents. I can't help but wonder about the many valuable experiences my kids would miss by being removed from being in a learning community.

Not to mention the fact that I can barely get through my 3rd grader's math and science homework sometimes. How could I possibly assist with 8th grade work on those levels?

RE: People who don't actually school -- You are going to find good and bad teachers in ANY educational setting. I think the responsibility of homeschooling is to make sure that you are putting time into doing it well.
That doesn't mean you have to be an expert, because there are many resources to assist you.
Which brings me to...

RE: Assisting kids with hard material. How do I do it? I do it EXACTLY the way the teachers at school do it. With a teacher's guide of solutions and answers. Parents assisting with homework don't have the advantage of having the teacher's manual.
I plan on utilizing a computer program with explanations and solutions in the future when dd12 gets into harder math.

In the same way that teachers do not have to automatically know all the answers, neither do I.

It really isn't that difficult to get excellent curriculum, and excellent curriculum strives to assist you in teaching.

 

[ohiominnie]

Ironically, I just had to call my husband at work to get help with my fifth grade son's math. I tried to help...and I came up with a few solutions that I thought were correct - only to have all of my amateur mathematical theories shot down by my husband. I run into the same problems with science...but I try.

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but did you go to a public school? Why can't you do 5th grade math??

SERIOUSLY though....I do NOT know everything about every subject. Some days I'm learning right along with my kids. Some of the things I vaguely remember learning in school (9 yrs public, 4 yrs private, 4 yrs college) but I must have remembered them for the test then promptly forgotten them. Somethings I never remember learning at all. Somethings I remember learning, but not in the same grades my kids are learning them (i.e. my dd's math is progressing much quicker than when I was in school)

No elementary or junior high or even high school teacher is an expert in every single field. The nice thing is, there are resources out there---the internet, other mom's who also homeschool, co-ops, tutors, etc.

I don't understand why parents are considered qualified to teach their children from birth to age 5 (how to eat with a spoon, how to recognize colors, how to sing songs, etc etc) but suddenly when the child turns 5 they are now completely unqualified to teach their child anything and the child must be turned over to a government agency who has proven (HA HA HA) that they can do it so much better (yeah, right)

Things that make you go hmmmm....

 

[5starmom]

Not to mention the fact that I can barely get through my 3rd grader's math and science homework sometimes. How could I possibly assist with 8th grade work on those levels?

I personally find that the freedom of homeschooling gives us many options for those subjects in which we feel we are lacking as teachers. Keep in mind, too, that excellence in teaching reaches far beyond the actual subject matter! We must make the curriculum work for us...in many ways, the materials do the teaching; we facilitate and instill a love of learning. At the older levels, I consider my main job to be assisting my kids in knowing the tools to use for finding out any knowledge they need or want to gain! I give them the tools, show them how to use them and model self-teaching. We love to read and learn at our house and that's the fuel behind our homeschool!

My almost 13yo ds is enjoying an online math instruction program that I use to fill in any gaps that we may have in our main curriculum and he is responsible for that part of his learning in that subject. I still teach and present concepts--and do quite a bit of relearning myself!

Being able to give my kids something more than a cookie-cutter education keeps me going.

And when I think about all of those famous "homeschoolers" of the past, it seems that their success came about not from who presented the material but from an internal drive and motivation to become more, do more and be more. That's something I pray that I can give our children and I don't need to have a degree in education to provide it.

 

[bookgirl]

RE: Assisting kids with hard material. How do I do it? I do it EXACTLY the way the teachers at school do it. With a teacher's guide of solutions and answers. .

Okay, I haven't had any problems with any comment but that one is totally out of line, and insulting. If all I needed to teach was an teachers guide I wouldn't have been required to have a college degree, take not one, not two but three state and federal certification tests, and then I had to teach for a year and be mentored by a seasoned teacher before I got my license, to be set loose on the public school system.

Teaching is about more than answers from a book. I respect any parent's wish to homeschool, but that remark held absolutly no repsect for those teachers out there who work and study and understand more about a subject than just what is memorized and spit out of a study guide.

If you actually know the subject you are not a slave to the book, you can expand, you can find alternative examples that may better demonstrate a theory to a child who is not a "book" learner. I know teachers who continue to take classes so that they can make the subject fresh and new and up to date for those students who find a passion in math, or science or whatever subject they teach.

Maybe the op did not mean that the way it sounded, but I was personally insulted and I felt bad for any other teacher out there. We don't teach for the money, or the "prestige" or the great benefits, we do it for the love of a subject or the love of a child. Please don't make your point by mimimizing what teachers do, not all are great but most of the ones I've known deserved to be respected.

 

[Mo-Yo]

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but did you go to a public school? Why can't you do 5th grade math??

I don't understand why parents are considered qualified to teach their children from birth to age 5 (how to eat with a spoon, how to recognize colors, how to sing songs, etc etc) but suddenly when the child turns 5 they are now completely unqualified to teach their child anything and the child must be turned over to a government agency who has proven (HA HA HA) that they can do it so much better (yeah, right)

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Well, bookgirl, don't feel bad...I believe I was insulted as well.

To answer the op's "respectful?" question, I actually went to Catholic school, private high school, private college for my BA and public college for my Masters.

Math hasn't ever been my strong suit, but I'm pretty good at reading, writing, analytical thinking and recognizing an insult when I see one.

I certainly don't believe I have nothing left to teach my kids...and neither do their teachers at school, as far as I can tell.

I think this poster demonstrated one of my points, though. What if a parent doesn't realize that they are not qualified to cover a subject?

The lady with the daycare loved her kids and worked VERY HARD to teach them, but she lacked the knowledge to teach them many of the simple basics of spelling and grammar. No doubt she did a great job teaching them how to walk and tie shoes and sip from a cup, and even how to treat other people, but as far as I know there are no advanced degrees in those subjects.


It is true that no one teacher is strong in every subject, but one of the strengths in public education is that students are able to learn from a variety of people with diverse gifts and many areas of expertise. If they get a bad teacher one year, with a little luck and some help at home (from my husband and I) next year another qualified person will pick up the slack.

I am more than qualified to teach my children important life lessons, basic life skills, and because of my education and my love of writing and literature, I am also uniquely qualified in that area. They would benefit from my gifts in this area if I homeschooled...and they benefit from it now. I also have some background in history, philosophy and religion.

For math and science, I bring little to the table. Could I learn more?...sure I could...but I know there are far more qualified people than I who are ready and willing to do it for free just two blocks from my house.

I know I can read answers out of a teacher's guide. I also would never teach my kids out of a teacher's guide, and I know that the most gifted teachers at their school do not do that either.

They don't love my kids like I do - I know that - but the good ones love teaching and they have the added benefit of years of training and subject knowledge that I may not have...and no teacher's guide can give my kids that.

 

[Mo-Yo]

I might have a hammer and a bag of nails and a do-it-yourself book, but let's face it, I am not going to do a very good job as a contractor.

And I can go out and buy a first aid kit and a medical book, but I'm not a doctor.

I never said parents can't compensate for their educational inadequacies with outside sources if they are available...but where I start to worry is when some people don't realize they need help.

 

[ohiominnie]

Well, bookgirl, don't feel bad...I believe I was insulted as well.

To answer the op's "respectful?" question, I actually went to Catholic school, private high school, private college for my BA and public college for my Masters.

Math hasn't ever been my strong suit, but I'm pretty good at reading, writing, analytical thinking and recognizing an insult when I see one.

I am more than qualified to teach my children important life lessons, basic life skills,

Well, apparently one of your strong suits isn't humor or you would have noticed that I followed my tongue in cheek question with a few of these guys

I was NOT insulting you, that was your PERCEPTION of it, but it was not my INTENT.

I also am more than qualified (with God's help) to teach my children important life lessons and basic life skills. Which is another motivating factor for me TO homeschool. Too many school systems now a days are finding it necessary to teach those lessons whether or not the parents object. I want my children to learn about the beauty of God's design for sex from me.....not from their health teacher who is touting how great condoms are at preventing STD, or from the other kids on the bus who are spewing all sorts of wrong information about it, or at the school assembly which promotes homosexuality or bisexuality as a lifestyle choice. You're absolutely right. I have a lot to offer my kids in these areas, I can give them the right information with biblical backing for it and not hand over that area of education to the schools.

 

[Mo-Yo]

oh.

boy.

 

[ohiominnie]

oh.

boy.

See, now you're finding your funny side.

 

[jaycns]

Please don't make your point by mimimizing what teachers do, not all are great but most of the ones I've known deserved to be respected.

I would ask the same respect from all of those who are sharing cautionary statements on homeschooling. Please don't make your points by minimizing what home schoolers do. Not all are great but most of the ones I've known deserve to be respected.

I agree that there are tons of great teachers. Some of my very closet friends are, in fact, teachers. I have the utmost respect for them. I believe they are some of the nicest, hardest working, most dedicated and intelligent people I know...however, they give me that same respect in return and we start off any educational discussion each knowing that YES, great teachers exist. Both those who chose teach in a classroom and those who chose to teach their own children. Then we can have constructive discussions about many educational topics and share ideas freely without anyone having to be on the defensive.

It is not fair for those that home school to have to enter into this conversation from a defensive standpoint. It is not fair to throw in a bit of anecdotal evidence by way of a small exposure to any group and make wide spread generalizations. I fully agree you can find home schooling horror stories...but I know you can find conventional school horror stories as well. NOT all teachers are great teachers. Be they home school teachers or classroom teachers.

I don't think the OP was looking for anyone to try and talk her out of homeschooling. I took her initial post as her looking for information about the new path she was considering taking with her children's education. I understand someone else could read it a different way, but this is what I saw.

I am sure that others could do an adequate job of teaching my boys. I am sure that some could even do an outstanding job...however, in the current school systems (both public and private) NOBODY will tailor their teaching all day every day to my children as I do. It is not within the realm of possibility. Nobody will know my children as well as I do and be as dedicated toward helping them develop to their fullest potential.


Anybody who pretends I am inferior because I do not hold a teaching certificate or degree is insulting me. I am not saying that everyone is able to home school their children. It is a large sacrifice and a large responsibility and MORE then a full time job. I am not saying everyone does it with a positive outcome. However, the public school or private school systems cannot claim 100% success either. It is an option.

I find it hard to have constructive conversations about any subject when one "side" has to start out on the defensive. I think the comment referenced as hurtful to teachers earlier was a direct product of someone having to explain a fact that they shouldn't have to....that they are qualified to teach their own children.

I am trying to be understanding of those that have little knowledge of home schooling or consider themselves (in error) to be well versed in it because they know a home school family or two or because they teach in a traditional setting. I respect that people can and will form their own opinions. And I am understanding that nobody is meaning to be insulting when they are sharing their opinions...but truth be told, it is insulting to have someone ask you how you could possibly be qualified to teach your own child. I have chosen to understand that those questions/statements come from curiosity about an unknown, a false sense of knowledge due to limited observation of the subject being discussed or long held beliefs that are while not based in fact are not meant to insult.

I LOVE (freakishly so) to discuss education, homeschooling, teaching methods, classes, curiculum...really all things to do with teaching my children in specific and education in general.

I would love to see this thread stay civil and stay on topic and provide the OP with information about home schooling.

 

[MommaPooh]

x

 

[ilovejack02]

I LOVE (freakishly so) to discuss education, homeschooling, teaching methods, classes, curiculum...really all things to do with teaching my children in specific and education in general.

I would love to see this thread stay civil and stay on topic and provide the OP with information about home schooling.

!!!
Im with the op I need tons of info lol! I believe I saw a post a page back with lots of info.on books and websites. Ill start there and then prob pm you if I have more questions,(im sure i will lol) since you look like a go to gal for homeschooling questions if that is ok.

 

[momto2girls]

jaycns-- Another great post!! Thank you for so eloquently saying what I was thinking. I love it when I see homeschooling posts. I love sharing ideas with other homeschoolers. I love helping newcomers to homeschooling with their questions and concerns. However, I think it is very unfair that others intrude and make insinuations and assumptions about us. I do not understand why they care so much about how we educate our children. How does this affect them?

I hope that the OP is able to ignore all of the intruding comments and get the answers to the questions that she asked.

 

[jaycns]

I might have a hammer and a bag of nails and a do-it-yourself book, but let's face it, I am not going to do a very good job as a contractor.

And I can go out and buy a first aid kit and a medical book, but I'm not a doctor.

I never said parents can't compensate for their educational inadequacies with outside sources if they are available...but where I start to worry is when some people don't realize they need help.

Let me be clear...I do not feel that I have "educational inadequacies". In fact, I taught college undergraduates at one point...so I feel more then capable. I have two undergrad degrees (Biology and History). Two masters degrees (Ecology and American Lit.) and I am a doctoral dissertation away from people having to address me as Dr. SO...in the grand scheme of things...I don't have any need for help to compensate to do an ADEQUATE JOB but I am more then willing to take advantage of any and all sources both inside and outside my home that will help further my children's educations. And I am constantly seeking out new information and teaching methods to do an exemplary (not just adequate) job teaching my own children.

FYI...even without my degrees and "school learning" base, I still think I am capable of teaching my children. I feel many other home schoolers (with and without degrees) have this ability as well...and I believe that in general (I am not defending "all") home schoolers have the motivation and clarity of mind to seek out ways to bolster any deficiency or weak spot and even find ways for their children to not only become their equals (knowledge wise) but to surpass them. Which, in case you were wondering is my aim for my children...that they put my knowledge level to shame. That as adults they not only rival my husband and myself but far surpass us. I am not aiming for "functioning adults". So for me, and "adequate job" is nowhere near enough.


That is the fallacy of this "discussion" that home schoolers have this huge inadequacy issue they need to get over. It is simply not true.

 

[5starmom]

If any of you would like to see the huge variety of homeschooling materials available (both Christian and secular), get your hands on a catalog from Rainbow Resource Center. Their site isn't the greatest, but they have a huge booth at most of the major homeschool conventions and a catalog as thick as a phone book with great descriptions of the products!

http://www.rainbowresource.com/catalog.php?sid=1170130320-771734