Hosting a Foreign Exchange Student

[JodyLynC]

Have any of you hosted a foreign exchange student? Where was your student from? How was the experience?

We are considering hosting a student for Fall 2017 school semester.

Thanks!
Jody

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I've not personally, but my sister did. It was kind of a sad case. Teenage girl from China that was basically being used as free maid/babysitter by her original host family. Anyway, she moved out of there to stay with sister's family. VERY sweet girl & the whole family still keeps in touch with her years later.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I've hosted a few teens for a summer. Mexico, Bolivia, Italy, Russia and Africa. The only poor experience was with the boy from Africa. He expected every meal prepared, laundry washed and folded, and he basically had a very specific view on how women should be treated! We don't have much diversity where I live, so I thought it was important for my kids to experience having an exchange program so they could learn new cultures. I will say, however, that every experience was VERY expensive.

 

[wdwiala]

Hosting can be a wonderful experience, but make sure the student sounds like they will be a good fit for your family personality wise.

Some problems that you may run into are study habits and academic struggles. Not all countries require home work and some students have a very challenging time with this. Also, we seem to have a problem with some of the international students in my school staying up half the night talking to their friends back home and video gaming. This can be helped by establishing house rules. Bedtime is ____. Electronics are turned in at ____. Your chores in the house are _____ (taking out trash, doing your own laundry, etc). They are not house guests, they are now your family. Be fair, but don't make yourself a servant.

All that said, it is super fun to show someone from another country our traditions and culture. In exchange, you will get to learn about theirs.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I've hosted a few teens for a summer. Mexico, Bolivia, Italy, Russia and Africa. The only poor experience was with the boy from Africa. He expected every meal prepared, laundry washed and folded, and he basically had a very specific view on how women should be treated! We don't have much diversity where I live, so I thought it was important for my kids to experience having an exchange program so they could learn new cultures. I will say, however, that every experience was VERY expensive.

What specifically did you find so expensive? Was it just another mouth to feed, or something else?

I know in my sister's case, they kind of went all out vacationing the year they hosted, so there was an extra person involved. But, I seem to recall their day to day being pretty normal. My sister has 2 boys, so I think she did do some "girls days" with their student since she doesn't get to do that much LOL

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Well, it was definitely food. The boys sure can eat!! Then it was also odds and ends like admission tickets to Summerfest, the movies, museums, restaurants, events, etc. Every little thing cost money and we felt responsible for them as if they were our own children.
They essentially all came over here with very little money. What little they did bring didn't last for very long. Did we HAVE to spend our own money on some of the above listed things? Of course not. But we felt that they needed to keep busy doing things, experiencing our culture, and showing them a good time. I'm sure some people don't do as much as we did, but we had a hard time with limiting their experiences due to money. We are in a suburban area, the students didn't know many people, and there isn't much to do unless you drive someplace to do it. I could probably make excuses all day as to why it was so expensive, because I know it was our fault for giving so much when we didn't have to.

 

[tzolkin]

We hosted a student for a full year. A girl from Germany who had just turned 15 (younger than the average exchange student).

There was a short adjustment period, but it wound up being a wonderful experience. She fit into our family and we love her as if she were one of our own children. We still speak often and she has come back to visit us a few times (including a 3 week trip where her entire family came and stayed with us).

That said, I think we had a good experience because of the child we got. We did not have a good experience with the organization. We were asked to host less than two weeks before school started. (We only had a day or so to even consider it.) There was virtually no support throughout the year. The few things they did do, we (or the student) were expected to pay for and there were a few conflicts where she felt pressured from the director so DH and I had to intervene in her best interest. I probably wouldn't have been so bothered if I didn't learn that these kids paid around $8,000+ to the organization, and received virtually nothing in return (other than being assigned a host family).

What specifically did you find so expensive? Was it just another mouth to feed, or something else?

Our experience wasn't hugely expensive, but the expense is definitely something to consider.

Since we are a family of 5, I assumed that adding another child would increase our expenses by 1/5. However, for some things our expenses were drastically higher, often double. Things like... she ate a lot (sometimes just as much as all the rest of us put together) and she used more water than all of us put together. She also played sports and was involved in various activities, so gas was greatly increased. All things we were fine with, but I think it's worth potential host families to be aware of the costs involved.

Christmas gifts, birthday, going away party, dining out, and family activities can add up over the course of a year.

We also chose to travel a bit while she was with us because we wanted her to see as much as possible. (We lived in a very rural area.) Of course, we didn't have to do that but we were happy to and we all enjoyed the experiences-- going to the beach in Maine, NYC at Christmas (her first time meeting Santa), exploring caves, visiting historic sites, etc.

 

[Kitty 34]

We hosted two different French students (ages 9 and 10) but it was only three weeks each time. Our son went over to France and stayed with one of the families we hosted. It was years ago and again for only 3 weeks but it was a fantastic learning experience for everyone involved.

Also, wayyyyy back, one of my best friends in HS hosted a girl from Brazil for the whole year. We loved her and had a great year with her. I often think about her and whatever happened with her. Now it would be easier with all of social media to still keep in contact.

 

[mombrontrent]

A couple years ago we hosted a Japanese exchange student for 3 months. She was 16 and it was a positive experience for our family. We all liked her and she fit well into our family. I strongly considered doing it again but we ultimately decided not to for reasons already mentioned. It did cost us a lot of extra time and money. She was an extra teenager to drive around and we spent quite a bit of money we wouldn't have otherwise because we wanted to expose her to our culture and experience as much as possible during her time here.

 

[Poohforyou]

My daughter went on a 2 week exchange to Germany and the student who she stayed with came to our house for 2 weeks. This was through our high school and a high school in Germany. It was a great experience but I'm glad it wasn't longer. I like my alone time and that's hard to get with company in the house.

As for expenses, my daughter had almost everything paid by her host family so we reciprocated. The only significant additional expense was when dh and I took about 10 of kids to Cheesecake Factory and they didn't know about tipping so we just left the tip.

 

[Klayfish]

We didn't have a foreign exchange student, but we had live in au pairs for about 4 years. They were all foreign, and all under 23 years old, so it was very much like having a student (they often took classes at the local community college).

I will say that you have to be the right kind of family to do this. My wife and I are fairly private people, so we really didn't enjoy the experience at all. It was basically like having a teenager in the house...eats everything, wants to take the car, doesn't listen to you, etc...but they aren't your child. Once our kids were in full day school, we were very happy to be done with au pairs. There were a few that we did like personally, and got along with fairly well, but it just wasn't our cup of tea.

 

[Keli]

My sister had two exchange students from China at the same time. They were from different parts of China and didn't know each other prior to coming to USA. It worked out really well for all of them. Both boys are sophomores in college in the USA now and they have spent the time between the fall and winter semesters at their universities (one is in CA and the other is in OR) with our family both last year and this year. It ends up being almost four weeks and it's so nice to have them back. I was so sad telling them bye this year (my sis lives nearby and I see the boys a lot when they are in) and honestly, they didn't seem to want to leave either.

 

[wdwiala]

What specifically did you find so expensive? Was it just another mouth to feed, or something else?

I know in my sister's case, they kind of went all out vacationing the year they hosted, so there was an extra person involved. But, I seem to recall their day to day being pretty normal. My sister has 2 boys, so I think she did do some "girls days" with their student since she doesn't get to do that much LOL

Depending on what type of Visa your student is coming on, there may be a stipend. This is money given to you each month to help pay for extra expenses. This can range from a couple of hundred dollars a month to a thousand. It depends on the school and the cost of living where you live. Our students are also expected to come with their own spending money for extras beyond the basics you provide.

The school should be able to tell you if their host families are given stipends. Semester and year long students will either come on a J-1 visa or a F-1 visa. One allows for compensation and one does not.

 

[camreesmom]

We haven't because we already have a large family and just didn't see it fitting in with our lifestyle. DH and I are both private people also and couldn't imagine a stranger being in our home for 6-9 months. I do have a friend who hosted students 3 years in a row. They only have one daughter and hosted 3 German girls. They have stayed close with all three and have visited them at their homes more than once and the girls have come back to visit them. They did spend quite a bit of money traveling with the girls and treated them just like their own daughter. There was one that didn't adjust as easily as the other two but it ended up being ok. It just wasn't something we thought would work for our family.

You do have to take into consideration that they can come from a different culture where there are different laws/attitudes towards drinking, sex, etc. and can be completely different from what you expect from your own kids.

 

[wilkeliza]

I've had 3 experienced with foreign exchange students. 1 was when Inwas younger my aunt and uncle hosted a girl from Germany. That side of my family is German so they thought it would be a great way to learn about our ancestory and share American culture as well. It was a dream. She was awesome and really fit into the family. We still have contact with her today and she considers us her extended family. The second was the foreign exchange student we hosted when I was a teenager. To be honest it was pretty horrible. I'm actually shocked we were approved but no one once did a house check or anything. The girl was so mean and was complete taken aback by the fact we lived on a farm in a very small town. I guess she was told she was going to live with a wealthy family. She also was a health nut so found out eating habits disgusting. There was also some Nazi sympathizing going on. I just remember it being incredibly uncomfortable. Also she hit it off a little too well with my older brother if you catch my drift. She was reassigned a the semester break. At the same time my school had another exchange student from Czech Republic and was awesome. I'm still friends with her and she taught me a lot about the area my great grandparents were from. I'm actually still friends with her.

So basically it really depends on the student in my experience. Some roll with the flow and others expect something about America and then are mad if the house they get assigned doesn't match that.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

We hosted a student for a full year. A girl from Germany who had just turned 15 (younger than the average exchange student).

There was a short adjustment period, but it wound up being a wonderful experience. She fit into our family and we love her as if she were one of our own children. We still speak often and she has come back to visit us a few times (including a 3 week trip where her entire family came and stayed with us).

That said, I think we had a good experience because of the child we got. We did not have a good experience with the organization. We were asked to host less than two weeks before school started. (We only had a day or so to even consider it.) There was virtually no support throughout the year. The few things they did do, we (or the student) were expected to pay for and there were a few conflicts where she felt pressured from the director so DH and I had to intervene in her best interest. I probably wouldn't have been so bothered if I didn't learn that these kids paid around $8,000+ to the organization, and received virtually nothing in return (other than being assigned a host family).

We also hosted a student from Germany. Her original family backed out, and we were asked if we would host her. She found out at the airport where she was going. I was in high school at the time (11th grade), and it turned out to be one of the best times/experiences ever. She was about a year younger than me, very studious, and a good person. We became sisters. I spent the summer after high school with her family, and loved my time with them. We visited back and forth until she was killed in a car accident in '88. I'm currently friends with her brother on Facebook, and we call each other brother/sister.

When she lived with us for a year the only thing my parents had to do was provide her with her own bed. So we had twins in my room. It took her a little while to get used to us, but she fit in well with our family. My parents treated her the same as us (if I got a blouse, she got a blouse), and every month we celebrated the day she came to live with us. It was wonderful, but I'm sure it cost my parents more than they had expected, and that's because they were very giving people.

I've always wanted to host a student, but didn't think I could provide a good enough environment - divorced and the schools in our area went downhill, so I don't think I would have been able to provide the right experience for an exchange student.

 

[L&Lfan]

I've hosted a few teens for a summer. Mexico, Bolivia, Italy, Russia and Africa. The only poor experience was with the boy from Africa. He expected every meal prepared, laundry washed and folded, and he basically had a very specific view on how women should be treated! We don't have much diversity where I live, so I thought it was important for my kids to experience having an exchange program so they could learn new cultures. I will say, however, that every experience was VERY expensive.

We've had that experince with several seminarians from Nigeria that we've hosted. They had difficulty seeing women as equals and were very anti gay.
They also never adjusted to American food and insisted we serve rice at every meal, even breakfast. I'm not making this up!

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

From a kid's perspective, my parents hosted a couple when I was young (and I have been around others) It is a very rewarding experience. All of the ones I knew were from Europe (Germany, Spain, Finland, Sweden, Norway). I am not sure what the cost of hosting one is, I am sure the food is not cheap. Back in the day their parents sent them an allowance, but I believe the host family provided the food etc... If you can all afford it, I think it is a wonderful idea. The only downside is seeing them leave, that is heartbreaking.

 

[jbmom]

We hosted a wonderful young man from Spain last school year. We had no intention of having an exchange student, but a teacher asked if we would be a welcome family while they found him a permanent placement needless to say we fell in love with him and he stayed the entire time he was here. We didn't find it to be a huge expense just extra food and we took him several places on vacation. He paid for all his own extra curricular activities and clothes. I wish we hadn't had to send him back to Spain and he did not want to go back, told us he was just going to leave everything at our house and be back in a few weeks. He and my sons got along great, he hung out with their friends but also made friends of his own.

I will say several other host families did not had the experience we have. Most of the exchange students come from affluent families, they have house staff and don't have to do much for themselves. Getting them to do chores is sometimes a struggle and others had problems with them following the house rules. I think if you let them know what you expect and what their responsibilities are from the beginning a lot of problems can be avoided.

 

[DopeyDame]

I've hosted a few teens for a summer. Mexico, Bolivia, Italy, Russia and Africa. The only poor experience was with the boy from Africa. He expected every meal prepared, laundry washed and folded, and he basically had a very specific view on how women should be treated! We don't have much diversity where I live, so I thought it was important for my kids to experience having an exchange program so they could learn new cultures. I will say, however, that every experience was VERY expensive.

Where in Africa was your exchange student from? You listed the countries for all the other students but just the continent for that one.