How far apart in age are your kids?

[olliesmom]

And would you choose the same age gap over again?

DH and I have been discussing this over the past few weeks. We have a 3 month old right now and I like the idea of an age gap of 2 years. On the other hand, DH is just a year apart from his sister and likes the idea of having our kids as close together as possible (we are planning on 2, possibly 3).

Lots of friends seem to have enjoyed the 2-3 year age gap where the older child is slightly more independent and self-sufficient (and able to communicate).

Would love to hear from others what their age gaps looked like and how that worked out! I'm already expecting a few years of chaos at the beginning.

 

[quandrea]

Five and a half years between my oldest and our twins. Wasn’t my choice. I lost sixteen babies in between those live births.

We started trying again when dd was just six weeks old, as we assumed it might take some time.

Given we were surprised with twins, the age gap worked out just fine. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to have had a one year old and newborn twins.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I have three children three years separating each one.

 

[olliesmom]

Five and a half years between my oldest and our twins. Wasn’t my choice. I lost sixteen babies in between those live births.

We started trying again when dd was just six weeks old, as we assumed it might take some time.

Given we were surprised with twins, the age gap worked out just fine. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to have had a one year old and newborn twins.

I'm so sorry. What a difficult and heartbreaking journey that must have been. You are one strong mama.

 

[cabanafrau]

Ours are 4 years apart. The original plan was 2 years. Our eldest was not a sleeper. We needed time. The youngest is most definitely a sleeper to this day.

 

[E&Cmom]

My girls are 3 years ( and 3 months and 3 days apart lol). I like the age gap and they are close. I orginally was planning around 2 years but had a miscarrage between them.

I have a large age gap with my sibling. They are 11 and 7 years older than me so in some ways I felt like an only. One was a teen and the other out of the house when I was in elementary school. My sister had had kids young so I have nephews closer in age to me than she is.

 

[mamamary]

I have two kids and they are just under 2 years apart. Worked well for me but I don’t have anything to compare it to. I’m far apart in age from my older and younger sister so growing up it was too much of a gap to play together.

 

[lovin'fl]

My twin DDs were born when DS was 25 months old. They were born a month early. We wanted 2 kids about 2-2.5 years apart. Had 3 and it was like having triplets and was tough tough tough. So I would not do that again. In fact, I suggest to my DDs that they do 3-4 years apart. Get one into preschool and have number 2. That gives plenty of bonding time with each. And isn't like having a litter of wild puppies running all over and overwhelming you.

But i was 5 years younger than my only sibling and it was like being an only child once he got older and was off doing his thing. I idolized him but we couldn't be close friends like my kids can be. So 5 is too far apart. Maybe 3 years is perfect...IMO.

 

[loves to dive]

I have an only child so can't help you there but I'm the youngest of 6. There is only 5 years between me and the oldest and there are no twins. There was one extreme premi and there is even 18 months between me and the 5th brother. Mama always said she liked it that way because once I was old enough to take care of myself, she and Daddy were still young enough to enjoy life. My two oldest brother's took care of the youngest most of the time. I always said if I were going to have more than one I would want them close together as well.

 

[Southernmiss]

3 years 8 days between 1 and 2
20 months between 2 and 3
34 months between 3 and 4

The oldest son acts like an oldest child-and took the role of only to heart-at 3 years of age when his brother came home from the hospital and was so easy going, I had to tell him that he was not King of the house--still do (He's now 24)

DS #2 was very easy going as a child, still is, but doesn't take any bull off of his older brother (Will be 21 next month)

DS #3 is very compassionate, thinks differently than the rest of the family and he and our daughter #4 are close. When he is home there is always a "Hey, sis..."
DS #3 is 19 and DD is 16.

All of the kids get along great and enjoy being together. DS #2 and #3 will share an apartment at college this next year. I think it will work well and they do to as they have always shared a room.


To me, the age difference is not what has mattered as they grew up, but personalities did.


It was a bit difficult when we were in the thick of having 4 kids ages 7 and under, but now it's a blur and a time that now I think went by too fast.

 

[quandrea]

I'm so sorry. What a difficult and heartbreaking journey that must have been. You are one strong mama.

Thank you. It was very difficult. I’m so grateful for my twins though. Dh and I had stopped with all medical interventions. We figured there was no chance. Having twins was a wonderful surprise. So blessed to have all three of my kids.

 

[Kitty 34]

my boys are now 38 (in June), 31 and 29.

 

[wenrob]

9.5 years between 1 and 2.
1.5 minutes between 2 and 3.

We had to do IVF which was very hard physically, emotionally and financially. It took several years to be brave enough to do it all over again. We asked older DD if she wanted a brother or sister and she got both at once. She says she got the best of both worlds, being an only and then getting to have siblings. My kids are all extremely tight. I really worried about the gap at first but not so much anymore.

 

[luvsvacation]

2 kids, 17 months apart and I love that spacing! They've always been close enough to do everything together and be on the same level with everything. There were never any issues with one being old enough and the younger one still being too little, they've always moved onto everything together. No having to say when you get older you can do such and such and no trouble with the older not wanting the little one to follow around. Having them close enough to be on the same level with everything has been great! They are 16 and almost 15 now and I would say that spacing has been great through every stage. I loved having them close when they were little and still love it now. Originally I planned on them being 5 years apart and was shocked to get pregnant when my baby was only 8 months old but it has been the best!

 

[mjkacmom]

20 months between 1 and 2
34 months between 2 and 3
22 months between 3 and 4/5 (twins)

5 kids in 6 1/2 years, I love it, they are very close. Dd 17 potty trained early, so I only had 3 in diapers for less than 6 months, although I had 3 in cribs for more than a year.

 

[NAB]

3 years apart , was nice gap. They are close. Help with school work etc.

They just turned 18 and 21 born same month.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I can't say, as I have an only. But I'm curious to hear the responses. - I work with kids, so insight into how sibling relationships shapes them can only help me!

 

[MonorailNate]

A girl and boy, 7 years apart. I would have preferred 4 years apart.

 

[bjscheel]

Almost 3 years apart which was a nice gap. I'm happy they ended up just 2 years apart in school due to falling just on either side of the cut-off, as they are very close and had a lot of the same friends and activities for their years together in high school.

 

[jen73]

6 years between ours and I don't think I would give it that much space again. But we didnt have a say so as 2&3 were twins. We thought we were just gonna have one and when we found out we were pregnant, what????

So we have 22 year old daughter and 16 year old twin boys