How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[2prettyprincesses]

Maybe you would feel more comfortable if your two girls go together? They are pretty close in age and has a less likely chance of getting taken.

Your 7 yr old should be fine going to the ladies room. Make sure she knows what to do if someone were to grab her or if she can't find you. I have always worried about my girls even to this day but I have learned that you cant keep them locked up, no matter how hard you try.

 

[bobbie68]

Hi,

Think of it this way if your child is in school full-time then they go to the bathroom themselves and can take care of their business there, then they should have no problem anywhere else. As far as someone taking them I agree camp outside the door that is what I do when I have somebody's son with me.

I have a DD10 and the other day we were in the ladies room and this mom brought two boys in about my daughter's age and she was mortified. It was very uncomfortable for her and I.

A lot of places today have family bathrooms, I would stop and ask somebody if one is available. I agree about the age of 6 is old enough to use the appropriate gender bathroom.

 

[nhmommy]

I have to kind of agree with this, though you know your kids best. When we were there, we saw moms bringing boys into the ladies room that were at least 9 - 10 years old. To me, that was nuts. They really have got to know how to go by themselves at that age. .

So what do you do if you're the one who has to go and there are no family rooms near by Just wondering my son is way too young for this to be a problem yet but I'm not sure I would be comfortable using the restroom while my 10yo was outside.

 

[princessmom29]

I read that a lot before I took my kids and I didn't find that to be the case. I had 3 3 year olds that turned 4 in Disney. The only sink they could use independently was by Pirates. They weren't close to tall enough. Did as I miss something?

When we first went with DD she was almost 5 and she could reach the handicapped sinks almost everywhere. I cannot lift her becuase of a back injury, and the only one I remember being and issue is the ones right as you enter world showcase from future world. Mabye she was just enough taller? The OP was talking abotu a 4 and 7 year old so I went by my experience with a 4 year old.

 

[princessmom29]

Here, you not only have to be potty trained in preschool, but have to take care of all of your own needs, including buckling. I can't image a 7 year old having problems - heck, my girls were braiding their own hair at 7!

By the time my girls were 5, they were no longer in the mens room.

Same here. To go to PK3 they have to be able to toilet themselves completely, including hand washing.

 

[momto2js]

For me there is a huge difference between a little girl in the mens room and a little boy in the ladies room. I have boys and I'm not about to send my almost 5 year old into the mens room alone. But if I had a girl I would have DH send her alone. By the time my oldest is too old, my youngest will be old enough to send them together.

I do agree that the what do you do when you need to go and they don't is a bit of a bigger problem!!

 

[Patience]

Just curious but why wouldn't you just take the girls to the bathroom in the ladies room? And, by the way, I think age 5 is the cut off but I couldn't imagine sending my daughter in to the men's room with my husband if I was available instead. I know it's not "fair" that I have to spend more time in public restrooms with our 4 year old than my husband does but we were blessed with daughters so that's just the way it is. Had we been blessed with boys, it would be the opposite.

 

[Hannathy]

So what do you do if you're the one who has to go and there are no family rooms near by Just wondering my son is way too young for this to be a problem yet but I'm not sure I would be comfortable using the restroom while my 10yo was outside.

Why? at 10 and especially at Disney. I just always found a wall or a bench near the bathroom and my son sat there and waited and he was younger than 10 but if you are overly worried just have him stand next to the exit door. he will be close enough that you could hear him if he said anything.

 

[krcit]

Hi,

Think of it this way if your child is in school full-time then they go to the bathroom themselves and can take care of their business there, then they should have no problem anywhere else. As far as someone taking them I agree camp outside the door that is what I do when I have somebody's son with me.

I have a DD10 and the other day we were in the ladies room and this mom brought two boys in about my daughter's age and she was mortified. It was very uncomfortable for her and I.

A lot of places today have family bathrooms, I would stop and ask somebody if one is available. I agree about the age of 6 is old enough to use the appropriate gender bathroom.

Imagine how those boys felt!! I think my 10 yo ds would rather wet his pants than come in a womens' room with me

 

[SamJane]

DH lets our soon to be 7 yr old go into the Women's Restrooms by herself, and he still takes the 4 yr old with him into the Men's.

For us it came down to 3 things that the child needs to be able to do unassisted:
1. Use the toilet and get dressed without help.
2. Reach the sinks to wash their hands
3. Be able to open the door to get back outside - some of those restroom doors weigh a ton!

Once they can do this, they go into the appropriate gendered restroom. Restrooms with multiple entrances are a little trickier, but most restrooms have just one entrance/exit. DH waits outside and watches for our daughter. If she's taking too long he will call her and wait for her response. If needed he will ask someone going into the restroom to help.

If he needs to use the restroom and she doesn't, he picks a spot for her to wait for him and she is under strict orders not to move from there. He also keeps his ears open in case she calls him for help. And of course he doesn't waste time while he is in there. She knows to yell "stranger, stranger, leave me alone. I don't know you, stranger stranger" if someone does try to snatch her (studies say people notice that more than just a scream for help).

 

[kollerbear]

Sorry-- not a mom, but I remember my dad used to do the most ingenious thing with me and my two younger sisters when we were kids. We were allowed to go into the Ladies room by ourselves (everywhere except in New York City, where I now live, go figure!), but that we had to sing. I know that some of the bathrooms at Disney are big, but in many cases, if we picked smaller ones and didn't bury ourselves in the far stalls, he could hear us as he stood outside even though we weren't singing at the top of our lungs. (The reasoning being that if something were wrong he wouldn't be able to hear us... sometimes he'd throw in "I can't hear you!" for good measure, and so that people would understand why he was standing outside the ladies' room.) This was especially fun if I was going in with my sisters, since we would just sing a Disney song together and people would think we were like, funny little kids, but like, no one seemed to mind and a lot of the moms there knew exactly what was going on and were very kind and protective of us.

It was a little embarrassing as we got much older, but it was much less uncomfortable than going in the men's room with Dad.

 

[bumbershoot]

For me there is a huge difference between a little girl in the mens room and a little boy in the ladies room. I have boys and I'm not about to send my almost 5 year old into the mens room alone. But if I had a girl I would have DH send her alone.

I think that's true. I'm reading these responses and getting freaked out...but I only have a boy. And I was letting DS use the bathroom at the Y on his own, and then later found out that he was pulling his pants ALL the way down at the urinal. No no no, not acceptable, DH got to put him back into urinal bootcamp. (does not help that I think urinals are a form of torture; I cannot believe that boys and men have to use those things and be so relatively exposed in a bathroom!)

 

[mjkacmom]

So what do you do if you're the one who has to go and there are no family rooms near by Just wondering my son is way too young for this to be a problem yet but I'm not sure I would be comfortable using the restroom while my 10yo was outside.

My 10 (and 8) years olds have been walking to school for 2 years. I can't imagine not feeling comfortable having a 10 year old wait outside the restroom for a few minutes! Heck, my 8 and 10 year olds walk the dog all over town.

 

[ccgirl]

My DD is 6 years old and has been using the restroom by herself for a while. I don't feel the need to let her go into a men's room with daddy. However, I do have an almost 4 year old boy that I take into the women's rest room with me. I will not let him go alone.

Just curious, what your DD going to the restroom alone at 4? Not sure why the double standard here.

Hi,

Think of it this way if your child is in school full-time then they go to the bathroom themselves and can take care of their business there, then they should have no problem anywhere else. As far as someone taking them I agree camp outside the door that is what I do when I have somebody's son with me.

I have a DD10 and the other day we were in the ladies room and this mom brought two boys in about my daughter's age and she was mortified. It was very uncomfortable for her and I.

A lot of places today have family bathrooms, I would stop and ask somebody if one is available. I agree about the age of 6 is old enough to use the appropriate gender bathroom.

Great point.

For me there is a huge difference between a little girl in the mens room and a little boy in the ladies room. I have boys and I'm not about to send my almost 5 year old into the mens room alone. But if I had a girl I would have DH send her alone. By the time my oldest is too old, my youngest will be old enough to send them together.

I do agree that the what do you do when you need to go and they don't is a bit of a bigger problem!!

Do you mind if I ask why there is a huge difference? I think it's a lot easier for boys to pee than girls so not sure why there would be a difference.

I carry hand sanitizer along so if they cannot reach the sink we use the hand sanitizer.

 

[ccgirl]

So what do you do if you're the one who has to go and there are no family rooms near by Just wondering my son is way too young for this to be a problem yet but I'm not sure I would be comfortable using the restroom while my 10yo was outside.

I would leave him outside the door. Would you accompany him on his bike ride around the neighborhood too? I think having them wait right outside the door and having them know what to do should a stranger approach them is important. I would never consider taking my DS10 into a bathroom with me (unless he had special needs), nor would he want to. Heck, he's 3 and alreay balks at going into the ladies room. I get, "mommmy, this one is for girls and I am a boy." He is just potty training and cannot go unassisted at this point.

 

[Mkrop]

Maybe bc I grew up with two much younger brothers, and have two boys, and basically have been surrounded by boys my whole life, I dont understand why the girls get all mortified...if that was my DD, I would tell her to get over it. I would tell her that a mom was trying to keep her son safe, deal with it. My dad also died when my brothers were little so my mom and I had to deal with them out and about for years. Most times they could go together but if not then they went into the restroom with one of us. They are now adults and have no effect from mommy taking them into the ladies room.

I really hate when people think bc their kids can walk to school that all kids should be that independent. Once again people on the DIS cant get beyond the regional differences and that not everyone lives in their type of neighborhood. My kids dont live in neighborhoods like that, I grew up in one but our area is not set up that way.

Also school for us, is quite different. There are no strangers in our school like WDW. They all need to be signed in, and the class goes together and a teacher or aide stands outside the bathrooms for the younger ones. So their are no safetly issues.

Both my boys are old enough to go by themselves, but I fully support a parent's decision to decided when it is safe for their own child.

 

[Bonniec]

Okay, I'll guess I'll be the heated one here. I keep seeing threads like this and every time I read them I think....why can't people just mind their own business? What difference does it make if kids are school aged in the wrong gender toilet?

My son is 5 and no way is he ready to go alone into the men's toilet. He has enough toilet issues and fears (not to mention a shy/timid kid) that I expect he will not be ready for quite sometime. I will let him go alone into the men's toilet when HE feels safe and ready. The day he looks at me and tells me he doesn't want to go in a girls potty, that's when I'll know he is ready and woe to anyone I see ever giving him a dirty look.

Though I must say....I have never, ever seen anyone give us a dirty look. I only ever see these discussions on message boards. But maybe that's because he is only 5.

I have seen 10+ year old boys in girl bathrooms before. So what? How am I supposed to know what issuesnthey have. As long as they aren't peering underneath my stall, they can pee where they want.


Another issue I see a lot is the stroller thing. Who freaking cares what age a kid is in a stroller? Why does everyone just assume an older kid in a stroller is just lazy. I stumbled across a blogmsite the other day thatbhas tons of big kids in strollers with their face blocked out from Disney. I am completely appalled by that. You NEVER know what reasons there are for it. Not all special needs children look special.

When I see something tha looks kind of odd. I just mind my own beeswax because you never know.

*off soapbox*

 

[imthatgirl]

Honestly I have never sent my daughter into the mens room with my husband. Especially at 7, she would just go in the womens room. I can't imagine a situation where a 7yo girl can't use the bathroom by herself. Especially if we were together I would have just taken both girls. I would see no reason to give my husband one of the girls, that doesn't make sense to me.

Now I also have two boys. I feel that a little different. I will send my boys together into the mens room, they are 6 and 7. If only one of them needs to go I will send them into the girls room. If we are all going to the bathroom then I just take them with me in the girls room.

 

[Mkrop]

Okay, I'll guess I'll be the heated one here. I keep seeing threads like this and every time I read them I think....why can't people just mind their own business? What difference does it make if kids are school aged in the wrong gender toilet?

My son is 5 and no way is he ready to go alone into the men's toilet. He has enough toilet issues and fears (not to mention a shy/timid kid) that I expect he will not be ready for quite sometime. I will let him go alone into the men's toilet when HE feels safe and ready. The day he looks at me and tells me he doesn't want to go in a girls potty, that's when I'll know he is ready and woe to anyone I see ever giving him a dirty look.

Though I must say....I have never, ever seen anyone give us a dirty look. I only ever see these discussions on message boards. But maybe that's because he is only 5.

I have seen 10+ year old boys in girl bathrooms before. So what? How am I supposed to know what issuesnthey have. As long as they aren't peering underneath my stall, they can pee where they want.


Another issue I see a lot is the stroller thing. Who freaking cares what age a kid is in a stroller? Why does everyone just assume an older kid in a stroller is just lazy. I stumbled across a blogmsite the other day thatbhas tons of big kids in strollers with their face blocked out from Disney. I am completely appalled by that. You NEVER know what reasons there are for it. Not all special needs children look special.

When I see something tha looks kind of odd. I just mind my own beeswax because you never know.

*off soapbox*

I agree!

DS8 has a lot of issues, like gross and fine motor skills issues, so for him simple things for other children are not that simple. He has low tone and his endurance some days is mush. He has gotten sooooooo much better with his therapies, and never had to use a stroller beyond the "appropriate years". We just take it slow or rest if we have to but if he had needed a stroller I would have gotten one. He is also my anxiety and sensory boy, but once again has made huge leaps in this area but he still has his moments. A loud crazy bathroom at WDW might easily become overwhelming for him.

No one would know of any of his issues, bc he looks perfectly fine until you seem him try to do something simple like take a cap off a water bottle, so working a towel dispensor if it is not automated could be a challenge and might freak him out. Or you wouldnt be able to tell his gross motor skills issue unless you were behind him late in the day trying to navigate steps etc.

My point is (long winded I know) is we have NO IDEA why that child is in their with a parent, so dont judge. I learned so much about myself and others when I had DS8 bc of people not understanding what was "wrong" with him, to them he looked perfectly fine, granted most were only seeing a snapshot of his life, or only spending a short amt of time with him, so they had no clue how long we worked to get him to be able to do some of the most simple things in life that others take for granted.

 

[imthatgirl]

Okay, I'll guess I'll be the heated one here. I keep seeing threads like this and every time I read them I think....why can't people just mind their own business? What difference does it make if kids are school aged in the wrong gender toilet?

My son is 5 and no way is he ready to go alone into the men's toilet. He has enough toilet issues and fears (not to mention a shy/timid kid) that I expect he will not be ready for quite sometime. I will let him go alone into the men's toilet when HE feels safe and ready. The day he looks at me and tells me he doesn't want to go in a girls potty, that's when I'll know he is ready and woe to anyone I see ever giving him a dirty look.

Though I must say....I have never, ever seen anyone give us a dirty look. I only ever see these discussions on message boards. But maybe that's because he is only 5.

I have seen 10+ year old boys in girl bathrooms before. So what? How am I supposed to know what issuesnthey have. As long as they aren't peering underneath my stall, they can pee where they want.


Another issue I see a lot is the stroller thing. Who freaking cares what age a kid is in a stroller? Why does everyone just assume an older kid in a stroller is just lazy. I stumbled across a blogmsite the other day thatbhas tons of big kids in strollers with their face blocked out from Disney. I am completely appalled by that. You NEVER know what reasons there are for it. Not all special needs children look special.

When I see something tha looks kind of odd. I just mind my own beeswax because you never know.

*off soapbox*

Do you honestly not see a difference between a 7yo boy using a stall in a womens room and a 7yo girl standing near men using urinals?