If you are new to my rather unorthodox brand of TR presentation, then you may not yet have encountered the odd critter that I have euphemistically dubbed: a Bonus Feature
Oh, who am I kidding (and yes, I know that grammatically I shoulda used the word whom back there, but who just sounds better
). Now where was I
oh yah, the concept of new readers
Pppfffft
Like thatll happen.
Dang few read my drivel at all and Id be stunned to think that Ive gotten any appreciable number of new readers since completing my last actual Disney TR. More likely, Ive lost them. Also considering that this one aint goin to Orlando (and all yall already know that fact), then I know better as well.
Given that, I can assume that yall already know exactly what a bonus feature is and exactly why you ought to ignore them. So
reason follows that if you chose not to ignore this one, you have only yourself to blame for any damage done. As for this feature existing in the first place
that you can blame on Andy
Its his fault your honor
the guy with the bank accounts
Heres the incriminating bit of evidence
You could probably find a ship in the middle of a desert.
Well
as a mater of fact, I can. But before I could write up what was going to be a rather short Bonus Feature (designed simply to make the point), Andy then muddied up the waters farther with this addition
Your bonus feature about a ship in the dessert had better be at least as good, if not better than
this movie about a ship in the dessert...
Couldnt leave well enough alone, could you?
OK
just so we are all on the same page, heres a trailer for the film that my nemesis happens to be on about
Now, forcing that additional constraint on top of this double dog dare is going to cause problems
Theres plenty of adventure and intrigue to be found in this historical story line, but working explosions and Penelope Cruz into it is going to be tough. Hummm
Oh well, I guess that those aspects will just have to be accomplished via cameo appearances.
So lets get on with it shall we?
Ahhhh
.
I feel better already.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
By the Book
Like I said a moment ago, when first challenged I did indeed already know of a ship in the desert. However, the specific example I knew of right of the top of my head (and pictured at the top of this post) meets the criteria of the dare with one slight technicality. That being the exact definition of desert. So I started to research it a bit closer to get my facts in order. In the process I ran smack dab into something else that meets the category even more precisely. The particulars of that discovery then led to something that is just busted my simple brain. What all this means is that instead of a short fairly harmless feature, yall now get to suffer through a long drawn out three part one. Lesson of the day
giving me time to research something generally turns out to be a bad idea.
So with part one, well explore exactly what does and does not fit into this dare.
Now then
by the book (Noah Websters book that is), a desert is any landscape or region that receives an extremely low amount of precipitation (theres a specific number of inches per year required to qualify, but you get the idea). There are plenty of these regions throughout the globe. Like this landscape for example
That ones pretty straightforward. The Atacama Desert, a plateau in South America just west of the Andes mountains, may well be the driest place on Earth. Evidence suggests that there may not have been any measurable rainfall here since well before 1570. Studies by one group of British scientists have suggested that some of the riverbeds have been dry for 120,000 years. That certainly meets the grade school definition of a desert, but then again, there are other less obvious places that do as well. Like this place for example
The fact that youre looking at water doesnt mean that it rains here (or that whats there is drinkable for that mater). There are parts of the oceans that see little to no precipitation. If you were stranded here youd very likely die of thirst long before you expired due to any other cause. Except maybe for exposure depending on the water temperature of course. And all this brings up another definition of a desert as being: a place that lacks enough drinkable water to support most known life forms.
Well I see that so far Penelope is not impressed
Not getting off to a very good start here, am I?
I may need to get on toward some place that both fits the definition and can actually include a stranded ship as opposed to the possible flotsam and jetsam left over from of a sunken one.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Endurance
How about this desert then
Despite the water locked in the ice, Antarctica is still one of the most arid places on the planet. Just ask these fellows
Their ship did indeed find itself stranded in a desolate spot that most certainly qualifies as a desert.
This historical ship in a desert was named Endurance, and its crew was a group of explorers lead by English adventurer
Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton. The plan was to attempt an
overland crossing of Antarctica. They would not succeed in that quest, but theyd most definitely and defiantly
(haaa
caught you Andy) endure many travails and every one of them would live to tell the tale.
The Endurance became locked in the ice of the Weddell Sea despite the crews best efforts to free her. Luckily, the expedition was well supplied being as they intended to cross a desert in the first place. So they stayed with the ship throughout the Antarctic winter of 1915 (quite a feat in itself). The real problem however, was that the ice was an unstoppable force
and ultimately it crushed the ships hull. If it ever were to break free of the ice, it would sink. So the group took everything they could carry (and I do mean everything) and struck out across the pack ice
These fellows would end up using their wits and those boats to reach an inhospitable and uninhabited outpost known as Elephant Island. From there Shackleton and five others would then make an 800-mile journey in one of those open boats to reach South Georgia Island. Here they were finally able to get help and rescue the remaining members of the expedition. If you were to follow the links back there in this story, youll find far greater details on one of the most suspenseful survival adventures of the modern era (far more information then Ill be inflicting on yall at this point anyway, so consider yourselves lucky). But theres a problem with this particular ship in the desert story. Ultimately, Endurance did sink. So
technically, its no longer stranded in a desert then is it?
Would that constitute a problem in my meeting the requirements of the dare?
Ill take that unshakable glare as a yes
Humm
might this make up for it then?
No?
So
you want me to actually produce a ship
in a desert
an arid non-fridge one
Ummmm
give me a minute, Im thinking, annnnd
Oh wait, I got a way out of this!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Kittyhawk
You do know that in the movie which is giving me such problems here, Dirk and Al actually found two ships in Sahara, right?
The fictional CSS Texas (obviously) and this one
Now here me out
this qualifies as a ship
Its just that its an air-ship. And if you can go with that concept for a minute or two, then Ive got (a bridge to sell you
errr
I mean
) another real life example that technically fits the requirements of the dare.
This one
That is an American built Curtis P-40 fighter. Over 13,000 were built between 1939 and 1944 (with fewer then 80 existing is any condition today). Better then 3000 of them were turned over to the RAF and in this instance, used in North Africa during World War II. Called a Kittyhawk by the Brits, this particular one has been lost deep in the Wadi al-Jadid region of southern Egypt for almost exactly seventy years. Back in 1942
RAF Flight Sergeant Dennis Copping disappeared while traveling between two air bases in this plane. He was most likely forced to land when his fuel was exhausted. The craft he was piloting was found decades later by a petroleum exploration team, but sadly, no confirmed evidence of the pilot has yet been turned up. The dry climate that most certainly lead to the Sergeants ultimate loss did, however, preserved the wreck remarkably well
a historian and restorers dream.
Now, back in our troublesome movie
the plane that was found in the Sahara had actually been sitting dormant in the spot where they found it even longer then this real example (according to the Cussler book that the film was based on that is). Yet the heroes were able to convert it into a sand yacht and then use that to escape the predicament that they had previously found themselves in
Great theater but, there is one (well
actually many, but certainly one) slight problem with that scenario. One that was far more serious then the guys later running the contraption into the side of a building out in the middle of nowhere
(But that was really a lucky thing for them though).
No this very real problem would have left them stuck back there where they found the wreck in the first place and the problem with that film-prop is quite clearly illustrated by our extremely real air-ship in the desert
The skeletal remains of the elevators and rudder are completely devoid of the fabric that once covered them. Wind and sand have long since removed every thread (and sandblasted most of the paint from the metal wings and fuselage as well). Being as the plane in the film was covered almost completely in fabric and had been in the sands far longer then the real example, its doubtful that the boys would have been able to make a pin-wheel much less anything that would have caught enough wind to race along ancient dried riverbeds.
Ummm
. thats kind of a depressing thought aint it?
Now how can I fix this?
How about a hot chick with a gun?
No?
So whats it going to take to get out of this dare?
Am I actually going to have to produce actual ships stuck in actual deserts?
I am huh?
Dang! Trapped like
like
like two NUMA operatives shackled in the back of a Landrover and destined to be turned over to a maniacal war-lord
Well
I guess theres no other way out of this short of compliance.
Like I said initially, I did already know of a ship stuck in a desert and I even showed you a glimpse of it. But that one also comes with a technicality attached to it, and I sense that yall are tired of technicalities. As such, Ill save that one for the third part of the feature (and yes, Im going to inflict three of these dissertations upon yall). But youve forced my hand here so the second part of this literary assault (after starting the next chapter of course) will be devoted to: The Sea that Aint and its forlorn occupants
See
I told ya there was one.
More then that actually, but now you gota wait for the next update.
Serves ya right.