Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[Searc]

Plus, IDC how you think that your child is selfish, ambitious, snobby, whatever it does not matter. A parent should not bad mouth their kid. The only thing that he should have said to the press is that all he wants for her is her happiness.

I would amend that to say a parent should not badmouth their kid publicly, like Markle has continued to do at every opportunity. I have not seen any evidence of Megan badmouthing her father publicly. It may be out there, but I have not seen it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think there is a natural tendency to set the record straight but I'm not sure if the goal is to make things all good that speaking in a very public way is the route to go. It may make the whole situation worse- and hey that's a valid point for this entire situation we're talking about with Harry and Meghan.

That doesn't mean he hasn't attempted to speak with her privately but it doesn't mean the alternative is to go through the Press either.

I kinda think about the whole RCI issue going on even though it's in a completely different direct than the discussion at hand--they were applauded by many for staying out of the spotlight for as long as possible only issuing a statment late when they felt their hand was forced.

And in general we've seen multiple cases where companies have suffered because they spoke out so quickly or so loudly rather than maybe playing it more the quiet way. In direct person to person relationship I can only imagine how much more that may be important to take a different route even if that route ends up not getting a response from the other party.

I agree that with the cruise line, they did the right thing and it will pay off for them.

Here we're talking about an human being with feelings, seeing constant negative press about himself (even before he was known or said anything) and feeling hurt and sad to the point that it was causing severe anxiety. People were camped out at his door and following him everywhere, taking photos of him shopping and commenting on his body weight, his clothes, his persona, etc. Daily. For months. It got to the point that he was afraid to go out, and took to doing his shopping only late at night. And it got worse from there.

Unscrupulous people took advantage of him, and he wanted to defend himself, as most people would. He had had a loving relationship with Meghan all her life but that was not what was being portrayed. People still seem to believe only headlines about him, chalking him up to trash. It's a sad story, really. This man has the right to say what he wants to say. Things perhaps could've been much different if she just tossed him a bone.

 

[Searc]

Of course he has the right to say whatever he wants to say. Doesn't mean it is the right thing to do or that people can't judge him for it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Oh, I agree with you!

It was my uncle who was the hateful old man. Sorry, if it was confusing.

No, I was just clarifying. It wasn't confusing!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I agree that with the cruise line, they did the right thing and it will pay off for them.

Here we're talking about an human being with feelings, seeing constant negative press about himself (even before he was known or said anything) and feeling hurt and sad to the point that it was causing severe anxiety. People were camped out at his door and following him everywhere, taking photos of him shopping and commenting on his body weight, his clothes, his persona, etc. Daily. For months. It got to the point that he was afraid to go out, and took to doing his shopping only late at night. And it got worse from there.

Unscrupulous people took advantage of him, and he wanted to defend himself, as most people would. He had had a loving relationship with Meghan all her life but that was not what was being portrayed. People still seem to believe only headlines about him, chalking him up to trash. It's a sad story, really. This man has the right to say what he wants to say. Things perhaps could've been much different if she just tossed him a bone.

I can't discount that it's viewpoint on the matter for sure. But I do get what the other person is meaning though too. It really doesn't appear to be making it better though nor going much towards reconciliation if that is even on the table so continuing to speak out may not bode well for the future.

As far as the headline bit goes that seems to be the case for Meghan too in how people launch into their opinions on her. It still sticks in my mind how those headlines were formulated in the comparisons between Catherine and her. Talk about speaking out--did Meghan ever really respond much to those incredibly crazy headlines over time? I'm asking because I honestly don't know if she did or didn't.

 

[NotUrsula]

Yes, the irony is that they say they wish a more normal life, a life away from the chaos and press of being a royal .... and yet this is exactly the opposite of what their future neighbors will endure. Why should they get to disrupt what might be a peaceful community? The article is correct that their neighbors will have photographers and other creepers in their bushes, in their trees, climbing their fences .... that neighbors will constantly call for assistance in removal. If they remain on public streets, sidewalks and land then no one is doing anything wrong but their community is being disrupted.

We had a massive estate in our community that was for sale. Michael Jackson was seriously looking at it. The community went ballistic and made it clear he and all the entourage, photographers and fans were not welcome. In the end he got the message. In a neighboring community Justin Bieber was looking at a home. Again the outrage was huge and he moved on. I suggest that Canada do the same - don't let your community be turned in to something it's not. But I'm not sure Harry is prepared for folks to pull in the welcome mat ... I'm not sure he understands that photos taken in public are allowed .... I'm not sure he really understands anything outside the royal family and it's protections even though he saw it happen with his mother.

I'm thinking they made lots of assumptions of how life will be
VS
getting a good understanding of what it actually will be and taking the proper steps before skipping out.

Of course if they choose a community more like a Hollywood where this kind of stuff is normal, they should be good. They will become just one of many.

I don't think they will be living in a "community" at all. I think they will buy rural acreage, and 5 will get you 10 there will be a horse-breeding business on it. He is an avid horseman, and creating a working farm business will take care of the pesky issue of Permanent Residency. Then there will be a second urban residence, probably in Toronto, where she will found a film/TV production company. Production companies, however, have a tendency to kind of form and re-form in a nebulous fashion, and getting that business-owner residency requires creating reliable jobs, so I'm guessing that the solution will be a farm of some kind. The acreage will allow them the privacy they want, and a business on the grounds solves the legal problems. Also, the RF have been breeding animals for centuries; no one in the family will say a word about making money that way. Part of the allure of the southern end of Vancouver may be that there is a well-established polo club there.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I can't discount that it's viewpoint on the matter for sure. But I do get what the other person is meaning though too. It really doesn't appear to be making it better though nor going much towards reconciliation if that is even on the table so continuing to speak out may not bode well for the future.

Oh, he’s past the point of caring anymore! Who would? Ever hear the saying

That’s where he is

 

[gwynne]

I don't think they will be living in a "community" at all. I think they will buy rural acreage, and 5 will get you 10 there will be a horse-breeding business on it. He is an avid horseman, and creating a working farm business will take care of the pesky issue of Permanent Residency. Then there will be a second urban residence, probably in Toronto, where she will found a film/TV production company. Production companies, however, have a tendency to kind of form and re-form in a nebulous fashion, and getting that business-owner residency requires creating reliable jobs, so I'm guessing that the solution will be a farm of some kind. The acreage will allow them the privacy they want, and a business on the grounds solves the legal problems. Also, the RF have been breeding animals for centuries; no one in the family will say a word about making money that way. Part of the allure of the southern end of Vancouver may be that there is a well-established polo club there.

Terrific suggestions! I could see this working for them.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Oh, he’s past the point of caring anymore! Who would? Ever hear the saying

That’s where he is

lol I guess so.

I think I was just relating to the conversation of making peace and granting dying wishes. I guess his choice but he'll have to live with the end result if it doesn't pan out the way he hoped and if peeps judge Meghan on her decision then those same peeps should be judging her father on his decisions too at least IMO

 

[gwynne]

lol I guess so.

I think I was just relating to the conversation of making peace and granting dying wishes. I guess his choice but he'll have to live with the end result if it doesn't pan out the way he hoped and if peeps judge Meghan on her decision then those same peeps should be judging her father on his decisions too at least IMO

When his time comes, I think they both will have regrets. Megan will have more years to live with hers.
And what seems clear and defensible to her at almost 40 might not seem so clear 10 or 20 years later.

On the other hand, I could be way off base. It may end up to be out of sight, out of mind.

 

[cabanafrau]

I highly doubt that most people would simply shut up. No way.

For most people the first instinct is to speak up and attempt to defend yourself. That can sometimes be effective if you stick to the facts as they pertain to yourself and don't resort to flinging mud. Sometimes a situation is a catch 22, where opening your mouth, even with the facts, winds up reflecting badly on you. In those situations you are generally better off relying on leaving it be and letting the other party hang themselves, which they usually do.

When Meghan's father and that branch of the tree started talking to the press what could Meghan have said that would have reflected well on her, even if the truth were on her side? As far as communicating with her father it seems pretty clear that she already had confirmation that any private communication she attempted directly wouldn't resolve his issues and would open the door for further exploitation via the media as, even if he didn't take it directly to the press himself he was likely to share the contents with his other daughter, who demonstrably has an ax to grind. It's pretty clear both sides agree he was absolutely invited to not only attend the wedding, but also expected to walk her down the aisle. That demonstrates his daughter's intent to include her father in a way that honored him. How does that invitation result in his decision to allow the press to photograph him being fitted for the wedding? What did he need the press to communicate for him at that point?

When he received a reaction to this choice things spiraled further downhill. Repeatedly his choice is to "defend" himself -- from the consequences of his own choice that was undertaken for absolutely no understandable reason in the first place. Then the whole medical issue became public. Was it real? Very unclear. It may well be that was the mutually agreed upon reason to cover why he wasn't coming to the wedding afterall. There is the possibility he blinked about coming and the health reason was floated as a way for him to save face and not humiliate his daughter. It's entirely possible he, or he in tandem with his other demonstrably unstable daughter elected to then use the situation to their advantage when they didn't like the response received. Meghan and/or the palace would not want to publicly reveal they participated in perpetuating the medical charade and increase the humiliation.

All of those things could be true and it wouldn't mean Meghan is automatically wonderful and perfect. She could have some of the same aspects about her personality as well, I have no idea. She might react the way that she does to the actions of her father and sister because she's been burned before by the behavior (on a much less public scale). She might react the way that she does to the actions of her father and her sister because she sees right through it because she shares some of those traits. If so it seems that will out as time goes on and the pressures of the choices they've made for a new lifestyle come down on them. For my money the father and the sister have told us who they are and I believe them. It remains to be seen if Meghan tells us and shows us who she is. I personally have a hunch and will wait for time to tell me if I'm on the money or completely fooled.

 

[Lilsia]

Not disagreeing with you. But that's the thing, he is not a hateful old man. To me he seems like a pretty nice man who found himself in a tough situation and dealt with it naively and admittedly, wrongly. I get that. I don't think that H&M handled it well, either. Meghan loved him. (Impossible to deny seeing their home videos.) Likely still loves him. And he loves her, very much. He did a lot for Meghan; gave her so much. It's certainly her right to freeze him out if she wants to, for whatever her reasons, I won't deny that. It just seems like such a shame, for both of them, and if they never see eachother again and he passes, I hope she doesn't later have regrets. There's a lot going on in her life right now and he's obviously not a part of it, at all. She's a duchess and he's sort of down and out in some ways, but strip everything away and they're both basic human beings in the end.

How do you know? Are you related to them, lived in their house? My parents where VERY good at putting on a show. Everyone thought that my Dad was a great guy, that he loved his family so much and did everything for us and put us first. It was all a show. Abusive people are very good at putting on an act and coming across as wonderful people. To the outside eye, it looked like our Dad "gave us so much" but the mental and emotional abuse is not something others see. If Meghan feels like she needs to distance herself, then I am sure that she has her reasons because no one pulls away from a loving family. A no one should disparage a person for doing what they feel is right for them because YOU DON"T KNOW what their family dynamic is like. I pulled away from my parents as an adult and my Mom passed about a decade ago. I could care less. I don't miss her and I don't like the person that she was. My dad is still alive, but I could care less about him either. I have zero regrets about cutting them from my life. No, that is not true, I regret not cutting them out sooner.

 

[Jennasis]

How do you know? Are you related to them, lived in their house? My parents where VERY good at putting on a show. Everyone thought that my Dad was a great guy, that he loved his family so much and did everything for us and put us first. It was all a show. Abusive people are very good at putting on an act and coming across as wonderful people. To the outside eye, it looked like our Dad "gave us so much" but the mental and emotional abuse is not something others see. If Meghan feels like she needs to distance herself, then I am sure that she has her reasons because no one pulls away from a loving family. A no one should disparage a person for doing what they feel is right for them because YOU DON"T KNOW what their family dynamic is like. I pulled away from my parents as an adult and my Mom passed about a decade ago. I could care less. I don't miss her and I don't like the person that she was. My dad is still alive, but I could care less about him either. I have zero regrets about cutting them from my life. No, that is not true, I regret not cutting them out sooner.

This. (and I am so sorry you had to go through that).

Things can look like a loving wonderful he-gave-her-so-much relationship on the outside, and be completely awful in reality. I know someone who had a wonderfully loving father, gave her the world, she seemed daddy's little girl. But he molested her for YEARS.

Nobody known the reality except for those living it.

 

[handinpocket]

This. (and I am so sorry you had to go through that).

Things can look like a loving wonderful he-gave-her-so-much relationship on the outside, and be completely awful in reality. I know someone who had a wonderfully loving father, gave her the world, she seemed daddy's little girl. But he molested her for YEARS.

Nobody known the reality except for those living it.

Your perception of reality is skewed due to your life events. I vividly remember you talking about the father of one of your students. You were concerned because he liked to watch her from the fence, while she rode horses...….. you found this odd creepy and worried he was a pedophile. Your view was skewed: a natural paternal emotion and event was considered nefarious by you, where as all Mr. Markle's actions are considered suspect by those with altered senses of reality due to past traumatic events.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Wouldn't you if you were constantly reading things about yourself? Especially if they were purposefully unflattering or untrue?

Mr Markle is sought out due to his daughter's choice to marry into a high profile family. He doesn't have the resources to disappear into the woodwork, nor does he have security (or anyone) to run interference for him. He's been left on his own and totally unprepared as to how to handle the attention

 

[Moliphino]

Mr Markle is sought out due to his daughter's choice to marry into a high profile family. He doesn't have the resources to disappear into the woodwork, nor does he have security (or anyone) to run interference for him. He's been left on his own and totally unprepared as to how to handle the attention

And yet her mother manages to fly completely under the radar.

 

[TLSnell1981]

And yet her mother manages to fly completely under the radar.

And oddly her mother has supposedly enhanced her financial situation significantly.

 

[gwynne]

And yet her mother manages to fly completely under the radar.

Wasn't mom basically out of the picture from when M was about 6 onward? She lived with her dad all those years to adulthood.

 

[luvsJack]

How do you know? Are you related to them, lived in their house? My parents where VERY good at putting on a show. Everyone thought that my Dad was a great guy, that he loved his family so much and did everything for us and put us first. It was all a show. Abusive people are very good at putting on an act and coming across as wonderful people. To the outside eye, it looked like our Dad "gave us so much" but the mental and emotional abuse is not something others see. If Meghan feels like she needs to distance herself, then I am sure that she has her reasons because no one pulls away from a loving family. A no one should disparage a person for doing what they feel is right for them because YOU DON"T KNOW what their family dynamic is like. I pulled away from my parents as an adult and my Mom passed about a decade ago. I could care less. I don't miss her and I don't like the person that she was. My dad is still alive, but I could care less about him either. I have zero regrets about cutting them from my life. No, that is not true, I regret not cutting them out sooner.

She didn't cut him out of her life until he didn't show up for the wedding. He was supposed to walk her down the aisle. The timing is what has many questioning.

 

[VandVsmama]

Meghan Markle's dad needs to stop seeking so much media attention. If he really wanted to support his daughter, he'd stop talking to the press, stop seeking out media interviews, and just quietly live his life and keep his mouth shut. None of his behavior is helpful to the situation. And if he wants any chance of seeing his grandson any time soon, he needs to get his act together and stop acting like a horse's butt.