Kids sports/extra curriculars and $$$

[Magical2017]

People t

What is frustrating is the dwindling away of activities available for kids whose parents CAN'T foot the bill. When I was in school there were intramural sports, after school clubs and the like that offered an opportunity to participate without a requirement to pay. The choice for those families is to either HIGHLY limit their kids' exposure to extra curriculars, or not allow them to participate at all.

We aren't rolling in cash - my kids are able to participate in one paid sport per year because that's what we can afford. We try to find other ways to expose them to things, but it's hard. Can't bring them to "free trial" events at studios/clubs because if they love the sport we either have to say no or limit the time they can commit to it. There are no afterschool clubs or pickup games for them to plug into anymore.

It is hard! Our local elementary school does not have a ton of after school clubs, but they do have a few. I have run a club each year, but they don't really want parents running the clubs because a teacher is required to be present for liability issues. The middle school, however, has amazing opportunities for all types of extracurriculars, including sports, drama, environmental, art, chess, etc. ODS is pretty disinterested in the clubs at this point, but I know YDS cannot wait to go there and join some clubs. It definitely makes a difference, and is a great way to allow kids to try new things and see what might interest them.

 

[siren0119]

People t


It is hard! Our local elementary school does not have a ton of after school clubs, but they do have a few. I have run a club each year, but they don't really want parents running the clubs because a teacher is required to be present for liability issues. The middle school, however, has amazing opportunities for all types of extracurriculars, including sports, drama, environmental, art, chess, etc. ODS is pretty disinterested in the clubs at this point, but I know YDS cannot wait to go there and join some clubs. It definitely makes a difference, and is a great way to allow kids to try new things and see what might interest them.

That's awesome! The middle school my DS1 was in last year had a ton of after school clubs, some sports related and some just activities/special interest. We moved over the summer and the new school has next to nothing for after school activities. I know the teacher sponsorship is a big roadblock (there are a multitude of reasons why teachers may not want to/be able to contribute an extra couple of hours per week outside of their regular work, which I totally understand) and it's frustrating when some schools seem to be able to make it work but so many can't or don't. But it's more frustrating when high priced options outside of school are thriving and kids who fall in the financial gap are left in the lurch.

 

[sam_gordon]

Could you provide specific quotes where we (or anyone) said it was impossible? You offered a rather empty suggestion, which was disagreed with. Beef up after school programs and stop cutting them back. That might not be EASY, but it's not impossible by a longshot.

You're missing my point. It's easy to sit back and say "others should do this or that". There have been lots of examples of people not liking what was offered (for whatever reason) and starting their own organization.

 

[sam_gordon]

That's awesome! The middle school my DS1 was in last year had a ton of after school clubs, some sports related and some just activities/special interest. We moved over the summer and the new school has next to nothing for after school activities. I know the teacher sponsorship is a big roadblock (there are a multitude of reasons why teachers may not want to/be able to contribute an extra couple of hours per week outside of their regular work, which I totally understand) and it's frustrating when some schools seem to be able to make it work but so many can't or don't. But it's more frustrating when high priced options outside of school are thriving and kids who fall in the financial gap are left in the lurch.

Have you talked to the school board? Ask them for an exception since there are no teachers willing to volunteer and maybe they'd let a parent organize it.

 

[Lumpy1106]

I am heavily involved with AYSO and that is very affordable. Unfortunately the club teams are multiplying like rabbits and those teams are definitely not. Unfortunately, though it's not supposed to be this way, it's really tough to make a high school team without having a club team on your experience resume. Notice I did not say, "impossible". There's no guarantee you'll make the HS team coming from a club team either though. For parents hoping to get their kid a college scholarship playing soccer, I say this; that's probably not going to happen no matter what team your kid plays on. Have your kid play AYSO instead and take all that money you were going to spend on the club team and put it in the bank. There's your guaranteed scholarship money.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Of course, anyone is free to start a league in any sport they choose. They can keep it as low cost as they'd like.

What???? Just be a little humble. Not everyone has the funds or desire to spend money on a self-appointed "elite" team. You obviously don't mind spending money to inoculate your kids from talented poor kids. The least you could do is not blame them for being uninvolved or lazy.

 

[sam_gordon]

What???? Just be a little humble. Not everyone has the funds or desire to spend money on a self-appointed "elite" team. You obviously don't mind spending money to inoculate your kids from talented poor kids. The least you could do is not blame them for being uninvolved or lazy.

Wow. You read WAY too much into a simple statement. I never said anyone was lazy. I'm just pointing out that people complaining there's no low cost option are free to start their own. How do you think ANY of these leagues (at whatever level) started? Someone saw an unfulfilled need and did something about it. It's been done multiple times in every sport across the country. And I never said it was easy. But if there's no cheap soccer (or baseball, or basketball, or football, drama club, band, chess, tiddlywinks, or whatever) league, go ahead an organize one. Talk to your community's Parks & Rec department. Maybe they'll underwrite the insurance and they just need an organizer. But if everyone stays on the sideline (no pun intended) and simply says "it's a shame there's not another option", nothing will change.

And FWIW, you obviously don't know what you're talking about regarding my kids.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think when it comes to Olympic-eligible sports, there are levels on which teams/clubs compete, so you have to look at that context in terms of what cost is reasonable or acceptable. In DD's sport, in the organization that sends competitors to the Olympics from the US, age-eligible athletes are referred to as being with regional programs or competitive programs. Competitive athletes have it as a goal to compete internationally, which opens up a universe of costs that regional competitors don't have. (When I describe these levels of competition, I'm speaking of making the grade to compete there, not necessarily to have a chance at actually winning, which is another level entirely, and I'm not talking about that at all.)

Rather unfortunately from my wallet's POV, DD at age 5 accidentally walked into a tots class at the home arena of a competitive program. We thought it was a good idea for her to try to learn the sport for fun, but we didn't know what the big kids there were actually up to at that time. She saw them practicing, and begged to be allowed to try out for the starter team. We figured, sure, it's cute, it looks like fun, and surely she won't want to commit to keep doing it. Boy, were we naive. That was 7 years and 6 team levels ago, and now we are in it up to our eyeballs. It's a nationally ranked team, and it requires 3 practices per/week during the 10-month season (5 months of actual competition, almost all out of state), 2 weeks of intensive summer camps, plus 2 private coaching sessions and a minimum of 3 hours of extra individual practice each week year-round in a specialized facility. In addition to the team fees, each family is also required to put in 60 hours per year of volunteer time. The equipment is simple, but custom-made at this level, and absolutely not cheap. She also misses about 12 days of school each year due to travel.

The thing is, she's good at it (though not phenomenal), and she loves it. We also like watching it as spectators, and have made many very good friends among the other team parents, so it's fun for us, too. When I was sick a few years back, people I didn't even really know that well pitched in to keep my family fed and to take our kids (both of them!) wherever they needed to go while Dad was at the hospital. Kids who do this sport tend to form lifelong friendships and stay fit for life because of it, and they can make some money coaching younger athletes while in high school and college. So ... is the expense unreasonable? At this point I'm going to say no, though IMO it definitely is still painful. As she gets older she is required to try to pay some of her own expenses by doing things like dog-walking and babysitting, which helps to make sure that it's something that she really wants to keep doing.

 

[Colleen27]

And that got me to thinking - what do people spend on their kids sports? What is "reasonable" for your family? My kids have never played "typical" kid sports such as rec soccer or t-ball, let alone competitive travel teams. What do these things cost? Is 4K a year for competitive gymnastics in line or out of line for other competitive/travel level sports?

Gymnastics is just an expensive sport, period. Like dance, cheer, equestrian, etc. For most sports, spending that much is more of an option - a kid can play rec level for a couple hundred bucks a year or travel ball at a cost of thousands, attend group workshops put on by varsity athletes for a nominal cost or have professional private coaching for hundreds per hour - but for those sports, the high costs are more of a mandatory part of continuing beyond the basic level.

For us, what is reasonable has varied based on circumstances. My older daughter plays softball, has since she was 4 (she's a HS senior now). She played tournament but never travel leagues, partly because of the costs and partly because I wouldn't commit that much time to one sport when we have three kids who each have activities to balance. We've never spent anything close to thousands a year, even now that she's at the varsity level and works with a semi-private coach in the pre-season. But that's softball. Even dance at a totally non-competitive local studio cost us almost $2000/year, and she was young enough that it wasn't even semi-serious. I was glad when she gave it up, and I doubt that I'd have spent either the time or money to advance if she'd asked.

My youngest, on the other hand, swims. It is the only sport she is really committed to, though she tried cross country and track for the first time this year. We're considering moving her up to a club team next year, when she'll be our only child still at home and the time commitment involved becomes less daunting. That will cost us about $2500/year in club fees, plus equipment/uniforms, travel to meets, etc. But she enjoys it and has gotten as far as she can with instruction/development in the rec level program she's been swimming in for the past year, so it is something we're willing to do to help her be competitive when she goes out for high school swim in a few years since she'll otherwise be at somewhat of a disadvantage for not having gone to a public middle school with a swim team. Under those circumstances, it feels more reasonable than the same commitment of time and money did when I was worried about balancing the time and money of three kids' activities.

 

[Colleen27]

Just curious, why is it out of control if the parent and the child is enjoying it and can afford it? I don't see it any different than an adult indulging in expensive hobbies like taking hunting trips, cars, shoes, spending a few thousand a year on season tickets, anything that brings pleasure costs money. How much money each person is willing to spend is completely up to them.

I have mixed feelings about it. There are some sports where having parents willing and able to spend thousands of dollars a year from a relatively early age is practically a prerequisite of making high school teams, and I think that's a shame. Obviously that doesn't generally apply to gymnastics or dance, but in baseball and soccer and other team sports it is increasingly difficult to make varsity teams without a club background, private coaching, etc. Teams want the best talent and the best shot at winning, and I understand that, but I wish there was a way that it didn't end up boiling down to the kids from better-off families squeezing out the kids whose parents couldn't spend big bucks on athletic training.

 

[hj0519]

If you think 4k a year for gymnastics is bad, don’t let your kid get near a horse! I grew up riding and showing competitively (and still do), and we spent (and continue to spend) thousands and thousands of dollars on it - upwards of 30k a year, not including the upfront cost of buying the horse herself. Depending on what kind of riding you do, whether you show, and what level you show at, that’s another 1k-100k+. But my parents could afford it, I loved it, and it became my life, not just an “extracurricular activity.” Where you draw the line on your kids’ activities is a very personal choice.

 

[MommyMK]

OP here, thank you all for your replies. It's very eye opening to see the range of what people spend and what's considered the "norm" for a sport. Up until 3 years ago neither of my children had ever done any kind of sport, and since I don't travel in those circles, I really had no idea. My oldest does archery - we kind of fell into it completely by accident, but it turns out she is really talented! She's done it for 3 years, placed in the top 10 in her division in the state each year and competed on the national level each year as well. The costs and time commitment for this sport are extremely reasonable - the first year she got a bow, arrows, a case and a target for at home. Since that initial investment, which was only a few hundred dollars, the only thing I've needed to get her since was one new set of arrows. If she continues, she will use the same bow all the way through high school. The team fee is under $200 a year. The fees for competitions are right around $30-50 each and there are only 4-5 a year, though they do require a couple of hours travel and if we were willing to travel further she could compete more, but her team is very laid back. Taking a trip to the national competition is the most expensive aspect and that runs around $600-700 and is not a guaranteed event - only if you qualify and even then it is optional. She practices 1-2x a week from October-May. It's really been a great fit for our family. I need to find something similar for my youngest, but I'm not sure what her niche will be.

Oldest also sings in a children's choir which is $600 a year, and there is optional travel opportunities with that as well - they travel domestically every other year and internationally every 3 years. We partook in the trip to Busch Gardens last year - that was $600 to send both her and my husband, but are passing on the trip to Ireland next year which would be $3500 a person. There is absolutely no pressure to travel with the chorus. I hope to do one international trip as a family with them before she graduates high school, but based on the Ireland prices it would be a huge stretch for us.

To answer some questions, yes my youngest enjoys gymnastics - but do I think she has the drive to be on a competitive team committing many hours a week to practice? No, not at this time. She's just turned 9, is very much an immature kid who just wants to play. I wish there was some sort of in between level - something between a once a week beginner level class and an ultra expensive, large commitment competitive team - a rec league gymnastics team if you will, but that doesn't seem to exist unfortunately. I'm sure there is something else out there that she would enjoy just as much as gymnastics, but struggling to figure out what it might be.

In theory, we could afford the 4K for her to be on the team - but it would mean serious reprioritizing of funds - saving that much less for college, retirement, vacations, a new car, etc and we're not willing to do that at this time for a 9 year old who doesn't live and breathe this sport. And also knowing that 4K is just the buy in essentially, I know there will be many more costs to go along with it - uniforms, travel, etc.

Yes I believe that extra-curriculars can offer many benefits to kids, but I also feel I don't have to drop thousands a year to make that happen. My 13 year old plays a sport, sings, plays an instrument, is a scout and volunteers regularly on a youth service team. I have no doubts that these activities are helping to make her a well rounded responsible young adult. My younger one wants nothing to do with the activities her sister does, so just struggling to find what might be the best fit for her in our local area that also works for our family. As it is we are out of the house running kids to activities 4-5 nights a week, not sure how we will commit to more as my youngest gets older, but I guess we will figure it out.

 

[MillauFr]

We just sign our son up for sports through Seattle Parks and Rec. They are free. He does flag football in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track and field in the spring.

 

[Klayfish]

DS15, besides playing year round lacrosse already, wants to follow in my footsteps and have a hobby of auto racing. The cost of that is mind blowing, I know what I spend for one race weekend. I don't even want to think about having him do it too. He's going to need to find himself a good paying teenager job.

 

[siren0119]

Have you talked to the school board? Ask them for an exception since there are no teachers willing to volunteer and maybe they'd let a parent organize it.

We just moved to town in August, so we were acclimating to the school system but I definitely plan on speaking with the school to see what can be done. I'm also working on organizing a communication chain for activities where transportation can be an issue (for example - the middle school drama club meets until 4pm once a week but the last late bus for Middle school leaves at 3:30) to see if we can connect parents who can help drive kids home with parents of kids who want to participate but can't pick up at 4pm due to work/transportation/etc.

We just sign our son up for sports through Seattle Parks and Rec. They are free. He does flag football in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track and field in the spring.

That's awesome that the Rec programs are free! Ours is reasonably priced, but transportation again becomes an issue for working parents who can't be home at 4pm to bring kids to practice - I'm hoping that getting a communication chain going will be able to connect parents who can drive with parents who have kids that want to participate but can't do one end or the other of practice time during the week.

 

[mjkacmom]

We just moved to town in August, so we were acclimating to the school system but I definitely plan on speaking with the school to see what can be done. I'm also working on organizing a communication chain for activities where transportation can be an issue (for example - the middle school drama club meets until 4pm once a week but the last late bus for Middle school leaves at 3:30) to see if we can connect parents who can help drive kids home with parents of kids who want to participate but can't pick up at 4pm due to work/transportation/etc.



That's awesome that the Rec programs are free! Ours is reasonably priced, but transportation again becomes an issue for working parents who can't be home at 4pm to bring kids to practice - I'm hoping that getting a communication chain going will be able to connect parents who can drive with parents who have kids that want to participate but can't do one end or the other of practice time during the week.

Our parks and rec programs are reasonable, probably about $40, and have almost every sport, but are coached by volunteers, so practices tend to be after dinner unless the coach doesn’t work typical hours. Our town is small, so kids can walk to practices or be in a carpool.

 

[sam_gordon]

Our parks and rec programs are reasonable, probably about $40, and have almost every sport, but are coached by volunteers, so practices tend to be after dinner unless the coach doesn’t work typical hours.

Same here. I think all the rec sports are <$100 for the season, that covers uniforms, officials, location upkeep, etc.

 

[design_mom]

I'm reluctant to add up what we spent on kids activities. At the time, we could absorb it into our monthly budget. They enjoyed it. It was good exercise/we felt they were getting something out of it... so we did it.

DS's most expensive was ice hockey. He was was in a recreational league, but often made the "select" team (which was kind of like an all-star team from our home rink). The select team involved some travel but not as much commitment as a travel team. As a family, we decided not to pursue a travel team (it was a little about the money, but more about the time/travel commitment.) However, that choice might have 'cost' him his opportunity to play at the high school level. His high school has a very good (and very popular) ice hockey program. His freshman year, more than 65 kids tried out for fewer than 40 spots. He didn't make it. It seemed as though the "buy in price" for even getting a second look from the coach was a resume that included a travel team. I think my son was as good/better than some kids who made the team (he wouldn't have been a star by any means, but there were some travel kids who made the team that I don't think were any more skilled than mine.) Anyway, he was VERY disappointed that he didn't make the team. We found him a club team to play on for the year, with the intent to try out again as a sophomore. However, in the meantime, he ran track and got involved with distance running. The distance track coach is also the cross-country coach and encouraged him to come out for the XC team the following fall... and that's where DS found "his tribe." If he'd made the hockey team, he probably wouldn't have run XC -- so it all worked out in the end, but it was difficult. And I felt a little bad that we didn't know the culture at the high school and might have inadvertently killed his chances by choosing not to travel.

DD's most expensive was competitive dance. That one started out small and suddenly snowballed. The first year she danced, she just did a rec class. She LOVED the recital and really wanted more opportunities to perform. Her teacher/studio owner approached her about joining a new competition team of girls her age -- very low key... one practice a week, three local competitions, plus the recital. Daughter was interested, so we did it. And the next year, that little team had 3 team practices/week, was required to take ballet too, went to 3 local competitions and a national competition, had to have the team warm-up outfit, etc. And the following year, they did all the stuff from year 2... plus they also had to take a stretching class, and attend an out-of-town dance convention, and take two master-classes, and... and... and... Then the next year, they had to do all the stuff before, but then they were really encouraging each of the girls to take private lessons in addition to the classes so they could really focus on each girl's strengths and weaknesses. By this point, some of the girls were "all in" and were dancing 24+ hours/week and DD was doing the minimum required and, although she was still pretty good, she was one of the weakest links on the team. As soon as she could consistently get a triple pirouhette, they were pushing for a quadruple, etc. She was spending 5 nights a week at the studio and doing her homework on the studio floor. It just got to be too much... she quit in 6th grade. She's in 9th now and I recently asked if she missed it/regrets it. She said she sometimes misses PARTS of it, but as a whole she doesn't miss it, and she doesn't regret quitting. So, I'm glad we did it for the time we did... but I'm also glad she walked away when she was ready.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Wow. You read WAY too much into a simple statement. I never said anyone was lazy. I'm just pointing out that people complaining there's no low cost option are free to start their own. How do you think ANY of these leagues (at whatever level) started? Someone saw an unfulfilled need and did something about it. It's been done multiple times in every sport across the country. And I never said it was easy. But if there's no cheap soccer (or baseball, or basketball, or football, drama club, band, chess, tiddlywinks, or whatever) league, go ahead an organize one. Talk to your community's Parks & Rec department. Maybe they'll underwrite the insurance and they just need an organizer. But if everyone stays on the sideline (no pun intended) and simply says "it's a shame there's not another option", nothing will change.

And FWIW, you obviously don't know what you're talking about regarding my kids.

I've actually sat on the P&R board most of my parenting life. Yes we do have a soccer program and it usually gets decimated every time it's built up when people go in search of more hard core teams. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that (aside from them wanting to use the town fields for their private teams, which we usually shoot down or offer limited time), a lot of parents pull their kids from the town league thinking their kids are far more "elite" than they actually are...which is sad, because while those kids may develop more skills, they are not getting much playing time for the club. When our kids started travel, we actually kept them on the rec team also so they could be successful there while developing at travel practices. Town rec departments do try and workout training times with professional coaches but it only goes so far and those same coaches are connected to high priced private clubs.

BTW, yes there is cheap basketball, chess, drama club, baseball (Little League still works the way it used to in many areas), and football is actually the cheapest sport now. Sure you can do clinics on your own time, but football has somehow become the sport that doesn't discriminate. Who would have thought. I actually feel bad for your kids if you look down on the high school programs and what they do for ALL kids. Alexi Lalas actually expressed admiration for the high school programs and sadness for those not partaking.

I can't stress enough that I believe soccer is shooting itself in the foot in this country and they really need to look inward about how to properly develop. I know baseball (some) and other sports have gone down the same path, but you're not going to get the most exciting athletes or play the way they are doing things. Sports are supposed to stress work ethic and desire while acknowledging that physical size, innate talent, and luck are also factors. Somehow wallet has become a defining factor too.

While I'm not attacking your kids, I guess you could say I'm attacking your thought process on soccer. In many of these threads, when people talk about cost driving a lot of kids from sports, you defend it and attack those people for not being as involved as you are. Most parents I know (including me) have paid for some sort of supplemental training whether it was a camp, clinic, etc. The question is...where does it end and should we eliminate sports at the basic local level right off the bat? (No pun intended). That's what soccer has done.

 

[Oliviaxxx]

My daughters last year of competitive dance ended up $10,000 for the year.

This! I was a competitive dancer for 10 years! My parents spent a fortune on my dance. I am in my mid 20's now. We still talk about my dance life everyday. It taught me so much. My parents had no regrets paying for it.