middle school dance -- girls can't turn down a guy who asks them

[pezgirlroy]

^^^^THIS!

Everyone should be able to choose who they want to dance with, have touch them, talk to, etc. Your body, your choice.

Exactly.

 

[mjkacmom]

DD went to a church-sponsored dance with a girl cousin when they were both teenagers, older than the middle-school kids in the article. A guy approached the cousin and it was considered impolite to turn down anyone, even tho the guy was mentally disabled. The cousin balked and walked away so the guy turned to DD and she danced with him. She got lots of pity looks from the girls around her as he couldn't dance, and he drooled "all over" her (her description) but she toughed it out til the song ended and she politely thanked him and excused herself. And never went to another church-sponsored dance. BTW, it was o.k. for the guys to turn down the girls.

So you think that it’s ok to turn someone down because they are disabled? My daughters would be in trouble for turning him down.

 

[VandVsmama]

It's ridiculous that a school dance is considered PE.
It's ridiculous that girls are taught that they're not allowed to say no.

 

[mjkacmom]

And why is there slow dancing for 11 year olds?

The article says they were learning the box step, swing, and line dances. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to learn a waltz.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

That is insane.

 

[luvsJack]

Also, why on Earth is dancing being taught in PE? Like PE isn't full of embarassment, failure, and hurt feelings enough as it is??

Not in PE but in music classes, many moons ago, it was taught as part of the whole manners things. Teaching the boys how to act and the girls how to graciously accept or decline. It wasn't about the dancing. But that was also back in the years of teaching phone etiquette and that hasn't been taught in decades.

 

[luvsJack]

It's ridiculous that a school dance is considered PE.
It's ridiculous that girls are taught that they're not allowed to say no.

Ever done the swing? It can be much better exercise than a LOT of what goes on in PE. I don't think its ridiculous at all. (not being able to decline aside) Anything that gets the kids up and moving and they enjoy is a good thing.

 

[deidre74]

I understand a girl's need to say "no" to rape, but this is for a middle school dance lesson and the music lasts what, five minutes per song? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a...ghters-right-to-say-no/ar-BB10sDxR?li=BBnb7Kz

I wouldn't want to dance with a creeper, but how far should the school go to make the guys feel included?

As the oldest of 3 girls with a mother who is the youngest of 3 girls, we were always taught that we had just as much rights as anyone. So if the girls don't want to dance with any boy than sorry boys its a no go. This is what's wrong with today - females need to be aware of a male's feelings but unfortunately it doesn't seem to go the other way. Girls can't wear certain shirts or shorts to school cause it gives the boys thoughts and feelings, well guess what those boys needs to learn to suck it up. Boys should have to wear baggy sweats to school that do not slouch off their butt cause you never know what kinds of thoughts could go through a girl's head when a boy is wearing fitted/tight jeans (as some seem to do) and have them showing some of the crack of their butt.

 

[DisLiss]

I'm just surprised that dancing is still a part of a school curriculum. I had square dancing in PE, but my kids never did.

 

[okeydokey]

Nothing wrong with teaching our kids at an early age that they have a right to their own bodies and they don't have to share them if they don't want to, even in the form of dancing.

I would hope the student doing the turning down would issue a polite "No thank you" and that would be the end of it.

 

[KayaWildfire]

Everyone(boys or girls) get to say no. Especially if this was a dance situation and not gym class(where I do understand they want everyone to participate so you have to say yes to someone).

 

[hereyago]

This school lesson isn't teaching kids for the path.:
Real world, you are going to be told no a lot.
I'm not sure if this has to do with our society being candy butts or the fact this is taking place in Utah with perhaps a principal who got turned down a lot.

Dance for PE now I am having flashbacks of doing the Virginia Reel as a kid.

 

[wenrob]

The article says they were learning the box step, swing, and line dances. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to learn a waltz.

The article says the boy asked her for “a slow dance.”
Even if it’s part of the curriculum and during school hours (which is not clear) this was presented as a school dance. There weren’t any lessons happening, it was kids socializing. They can try and spin it anyway they want but what probably started with good intentions delivers a really bad message.

 

[LadyntheTramp]

I agree the girls should be able to say no to being asked to a dance or whatever in a social setting. In terms of an actual class, my experience in school, was we learned dance in PE both swing and square dancing (I believe); however, you had a choice between dance class or another PE base activity. Most of us wanted to learn the dance so therefore agreed to be partners with someone and the partners changed during class and between the different weeks. So essentially consent was given when you elected to take the dance class but no student was forced to take the class. I hope that makes sense.

 

[piccolopat]

If boys aren't taught at a middle school dance that a girl can say no and that decision should be respected, they will never learn that no also means no for much more serious encounters as they get older. By the way, same goes regardless of the gender of who is asking and who is deciding.

 

[mrodgers]

Also, why on Earth is dancing being taught in PE? Like PE isn't full of embarassment, failure, and hurt feelings enough as it is??

Oops, now I see it....
Something unrelated interjected into the discussion that has nothing to do with the discussion. It was a Valentine's Dance. No where did I see in the article that this was part of any curriculum. Instead of being in the evening at 6 pm like in high school, it seems to be during school hours, but it's still just a holiday dance event.

Schools should be educating, not instilling morals into the students. That is the parents' job. They should be educating on academics, something that is being eroded away in our public schools changing to teaching morals and behavior. "Indoctrinating" as being discussed all over the internet. Just more disgusting situations happening in our public schools.

 

[LilyWDW]

So you think that it’s ok to turn someone down because they are disabled? My daughters would be in trouble for turning him down.

I don't see where they said that at ALL. But is IS okay to turn down someone because you don't want to dance with them. Period.

 

[mrodgers]

It's Utah.

Oh, wait, it's Utah, so that makes it all ok....

So you think that it’s ok to turn someone down because they are disabled? My daughters would be in trouble for turning him down.

It's OK to turn someone down because of any reason or no reason at all. Hats off to the daughter that made the kid feel good of course, but she wasn't forced to do it and shouldn't be forced to do anything with anyone.

And again, this is not something the schools should be teaching. Morals are up to the parents. Algebra is what the schools should be teaching.

 

[MamaBelle4]

They should be teaching boys how to deal with rejection, not teaching them that they're entitled to whatever girl they want.

My daughters have the sole right to their bodies. Wanting to dance and have fun with their friends does not mean that they have to sacrifice that control.

I completely agree with Moliphino. I would be appalled if this was my kids' school.

 

[Disneypro1]

So you think that it’s ok to turn someone down because they are disabled? My daughters would be in trouble for turning him down.

Any child or adult had the right to turn down anyone.... There is no right or wrong reason. That’s personal. We all have our personal likes and dislikes. Things we are comfortable with or not. I would never expect someone to dance. Date or whatever my kids. If they didn’t want to.... regardless of the reason.