Moms with boys, bathroom question

[CaraMiaBelle]

IMO 8 years old and up. To put that in perspective that is a 4th grader.

Um. That would actually be 2nd or 3rd grade at the oldest.

 

[maxiesmom]

I am sure you had a bad experience and I apologize that you were traumatized by a badly behaved 9 year old boy. However, the majority of little boys in the restroom are not running around wanting to watch you pee!

And the majority of people are not out to harm your child either. Yet people are expecting others to accommodate their need to totally prevent that from happening, yet can't seem to find a way to totally prevent their child from peeping.

 

[luvmy3]

Um. That would actually be 2nd or 3rd grade at the oldest.

Um, not here.

 

[Mom2six]

And the majority of people are not out to harm your child either. Yet people are expecting others to accommodate their need to totally prevent that from happening, yet can't seem to find a way to totally prevent their child from peeping.

If you don't want children in the restroom go to an adult's only restroom or companion bathroom. Children will be using a public restroom at WDW.

Edited to say - most people do find a way to keep their child from peeping. And most children have no desire to peep at other people either!

 

[robinb]

IMO 8 years old and up. To put that in perspective that is a 4th grader.

Um. That would actually be 2nd or 3rd grade at the oldest.

Cara's right. Kindergarten starts at 5 (or 6 if you held your son back for social/maturity reasons) so an 8 year old would be in 2nd or 3rd grade.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

Um, not here.

Don't kids start kindergarten at age 5? 6 at the latest for the older ones?

 

[Mom2six]

Um, not here.

Where is here because in the US, Kindergarten starts at 5 (most states have a cut off month. If you child is not 5 by August, by September, or by October. A few have a later month but not many). 1st grade = 6 2nd grade = 7 3rd grade = 8. However, most kids will have a birthday and turn the next age that year. So if you have an October birthday in a state that has a cut off month of August of September, then in October of the year you are in kindergarten you will turn 6. Then two months into 1st grade you will turn 7. Two months into 2nd grade you will turn 8.

 

[bumbershoot]

Ditto. I deserved not to have the badly brought up 9 year old pervert peeping at me because his incompetent and inconsiderate mother left him running around unattended in the ladies room. Oh, the tantrum she threw when I yelled at her little peeping tom was epic. Apparently she could not fathom why I might not want her nasty offspring staring at my privates.

It is not "silly" to expect a fundamental level of privacy in a single-gender restroom.

I'm being realistic, the little jerk was 9 and, as stated above, his mother threw a hissy over me yelling when I caught him peeking into my stall.

You just called a 9 year old a pervert?

I just asked my 9 year old if any 9 year old boy he knows would look into a bathroom for any reason OTHER than to find his mom and he was aghast at the idea that there would be any other reason. He definitely felt that a 9 year old looking out of some sort of curiousity was not a typical child. 9 year old boys do not normally WANT to see grown women using the restroom.

So if that boy did, then *there's something going on with him*. It MEANS he's got some issues happening. That means it's probably best that he's with his parent while in the bathroom. Instead of being evil about him and calling him pervert and jerk, you might have had a talk with his mom instead of freaking out.

Because a boy that age being voyeuristic is NOT "normal", and could be the sign of very awful things happening to him elsewhere.

And, um, your privates show when using the bathroom? I'm generally sitting down and things are pretty much covered. And I know this because our Trader Joe's has very unfortunately placed mirrors on the back of the door to the restroom, so unless you avert your eyes, you're seeing yourself sittin' there on the toilet.

I really doubt this boy saw much of anything except maybe bare leg.

An the meltdown my former foster daughter would have had upon seeing and older boy in the woman's room would probably be equal to if not worse than your sons. But she's a girl so she doesn't matter in this equation.

So we're playing my problem is greater than yours? I'm not sure that's OK to do.

But really, you're never going to control the world, so there will ALWAYS be situations where there might be boys in the bathrooms. There are places where they don't have a HA area, but companions can go in with women who need assistance, so she might have to deal with grown men helping their wives or mothers in a bathroom. And if just a boy will set her off, she has to be aware that there will be instances of severely special needs boys going in with their moms.

This is something that has to be worked on between the two of you. Because there will ALWAYS be a chance of a boy or even a man in there.

I have a question. I don't know how to ask this I don't want to offend anyone. (reading some of these post, I'm thinking offending is off the table.) but.............

are you a male or a female? just wondering because of the reminding him of urinal etiquette..

I'm a female and I have to talk to my son about urinal etiquette. I've learned it from DH, but he travels for work so a lot of this falls on me.

And I think men's bathrooms are a heinous idea. I think it should all be abolished. People should have stalls. There can be urinals in stalls, but this peeing in public thing is horrible.

How many 6 year old boys are running around peeking in stalls and why would that bother you anymore than a strange little girl looking in your stall. ...

It may also be an opportunity to teach your daughters that the world is really not paying attention to them. ...

Both points are very true.

I'm not worried about a boy looking in at me until they are teens, and if someone is doing that, then I figure they have bigger issues than I do. But a pre-pubscent child is almost certainly looking in *to find their mom*.

I've had a boy peek at me at Disney. I wacked the door and it hit him in the nose. His mother was none to happy. Too bad I told her I control her child.

I would have had you arrested. There would be no tantrum, there would simply be calling the police. I cannot believe you just admitted to having assaulted a child.

Was she in the stall next to you? Bet you he was looking FOR HER. He had no interest in you. And he got slammed in the face with a door for it. I'd be ashamed for such an action. While I was sitting in jail.

 

[Mom2six]

IMO 8 years old and up. To put that in perspective that is a 4th grader.

Yes, it seems most people on this thread are in agreement that 8 and over are older boys and if not disabled should be in the boys room.

A few, seem to think that 6 year old boys are inappropriate in a women's room because it is an invasion of a woman's privacy

 

[Mama Who]

I am sure you had a bad experience and I apologize that you were traumatized by a badly behaved 9 year old boy. However, the majority of little boys in the restroom are not running around wanting to watch you pee...and you have not explained to me how a little boy being rude is any different than a little girl being rude. I don't think that little children should be peeking at people in stalls, if they are girls or boys! However, I think people who are afraid of this happening are being paranoid! This thread did not begin as a thread about kids being rude in bathrooms - it is a thread about whether or not to take a little boy into the women's room or leave him out in the park alone.

One incident has nothing to do with all children. We really can't ban children from restrooms after all!

"Paranoid" suggests that it's not a real concern and since at least two people in this thread have experienced it, using that word is inappropriate and frankly, derogatory. Also, nice attempt at belittling me by your crappy "traumatized" comment. I hope you think it's just as funny when it happens to you.

It is more than one incident. I get that you don't give a crap about the privacy of other women in a women's room but really, that's the bizarre viewpoint, not "I don't want boys staring at my hoo-hah." MOST of the world actually understands, "I don't want boys staring at my hoo-hah" as a rational expectation in a WOMEN'S bathroom.

 

[Mama Who]

Don't kids start kindergarten at age 5? 6 at the latest for the older ones?

Here 5 is the average, so 4 or 6 are both possible.

 

[robinb]

I would have had you arrested. There would be no tantrum, there would simply be calling the police. I cannot believe you just admitted to having assaulted a child.

Was she in the stall next to you? Bet you he was looking FOR HER. He had no interest in you. And he got slammed in the face with a door for it. I'd be ashamed for such an action. While I was sitting in jail.

Hmmm ... I imagined that she whacked it to scare the boy back from his peeping position. A closed door does not move much so he must have been very close to it to be hit by it. If that's what happened, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was an assault. I do agree with you on her wording.

 

[Mom2six]

I would have had you arrested. There would be no tantrum, there would simply be calling the police. I cannot believe you just admitted to having assaulted a child.

Was she in the stall next to you? Bet you he was looking FOR HER. He had no interest in you. And he got slammed in the face with a door for it. I'd be ashamed for such an action. While I was sitting in jail.

I did not catch this when I was reading through the posts. You don't get to assault a child - period. If you think hitting a kid in the face with a door is discipline and controlling them, you have major problems and you are lucky you weren't arrested because you did admit to purposely hitting a child in the face.

 

[Mama Who]

So if that boy did, then *there's something going on with him*. It MEANS he's got some issues happening. That means it's probably best that he's with his parent while in the bathroom. Instead of being evil about him and calling him pervert and jerk, you might have had a talk with his mom instead of freaking out.

I cannot believe we have gone so far down the blame the victim rabbit hole that you actually think the onus was on ME to do the hand holding. Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY? She let her son peep at a stranger in the ladies room but I'm the bad guy for objecting?

Holy catfish.

 

[luvmy3]

Where is here because in the US, Kindergarten starts at 5 (most states have a cut off month. If you child is not 5 by August, by September, or by October. A few have a later month but not many). 1st grade = 6 2nd grade = 7 3rd grade = 8. However, most kids will have a birthday and turn the next age that year. So if you have an October birthday in a state that has a cut off month of August of September, then in October of the year you are in kindergarten you will turn 6. Then two months into 1st grade you will turn 7. Two months into 2nd grade you will turn 8.

Okay, I am a parent of 3 kids so I do know how it works and just so you know not every single district follows the rules yours does. I couldnt imagine having an 8 year old in 2nd grade
Here the cut-off is Dec.1 so any 4 year old who will be 5 by December 1st starts Kindergarten the current Sept. (unless of course parents choose to hold them for a year). And yes I do know this for a fact since my own children started K at 4. My now 9 year old will start 5th grade this Sept, just like his brother when he was 5th. Last year he was 8 and about to start 4th. So, like I said an 8 year old is a 4th grader
K 4/5
1st 5/6
2nd 6/7
3rd 7/8
4th 8/9 and so on.................................................

 

[robinb]

Okay, I am a parent of 3 kids so I do know how it works and just so you know not every single district follows the rules yours does. I couldnt imagine having an 8 year old in 2nd grade
Here the cut-off is Dec.1 so any 4 year old who will be 5 by December 1st starts Kindergarten the current Sept. (unless of course parents choose to hold them for a year). And yes I do know this for a fact since my own children started K at 4. My now 9 year old will start 5th grade this Sept, just like his brother when he was 5th. Last year he was 8 and about to start 4th. So, like I said an 8 year old is a 4th grader
K 4/5
1st 5/6
2nd 6/7
3rd 7/8
4th 8/9 and so on.................................................

I think that's because your cut off is Dec 1. The cut off here in WI is Sept 1 (the start of school) so there are very few children who are actually 4 when when they start Kindergarten and they have to get special permission. My DD's birthday is in mid-August so she just squeaked in under the wire. A boy on our block was born the week after her and, while he was eligible to start Kindergarten with my DD, his family held him back a year (as is very common in our area for boys). So, my DD was just 7 when she started 2nd grade and this boy was just 8 when we started 2nd grade.

 

[Granny square]

Hmmm ... I imagined that she whacked it to scare the boy back from his peeping position. A closed door does not move much so he must have been very close to it to be hit by it. If that's what happened, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was an assault. I do agree with you on her wording.

Exactly. For it to have affected him at all he had to have been touching it. Really MOM should have been taking care of her child by actually monitoring him. Since that is the whole stinking big deal.

 

[luvmy3]

I think that's because your cut off is Dec 1. The cut off here in WI is Sept 1 (the start of school) so there are very few children who are actually 4 when when they start Kindergarten and they have to get special permission. My DD's birthday is in mid-August so she just squeaked in under the wire. A boy on our block was born the week after her and while he was eligible to start Kindergarten with my DD his family held him back a year (as is very common in our area for boys). So, my DD was just 8 when she started 3rd grade and this boy was just 9 when we started 3rd grade.

I am well aware that different districts have different cut-off dates, apparently some posters here are not.

 

[Mom2six]

Exactly. For it to have affected him at all he had to have been touching it. Really MOM should have been taking care of her child by actually monitoring him. Since that is the whole stinking big deal.

Absolutely moms should be taking care of their children and apparently you need to at WDW because people think it is okay to assault kids with doors! Whether or not the child is touching the door or not is not relevant in assault. The person who kicked the door, and hence the child behind the door, knew precisely where the child was and chose assault as the answer to the problem.

Yes little boys peeking in bathrooms looking for mommy is a problem, but an adult woman purposely hitting a child with a metal door is a far bigger issue.

 

[JennyKS]

I've not read all the posts but find this interesting as I just had a baby boy. Never been an issue as I've only had a daughter before. I've raised my daughter (who turned 8 6/29 and will be in the 3rd grade starting August) to be pretty independent and not afraid. She's been going to the bathroom alone since she turned 7.

But just last week we were at the movies and she needed to go to the bathroom. She went alone but came back very quickly. There was a couple boys in the restroom, she thought her age, and she was to uncomfortable to go. They weren't staring in the door cracks, just sitting on the couches they have in the restroom.

She waited awhile and then went back when she figured they'd be gone.

I hope by the time my son is 6-7 I feel comfortable enough and trust him enough to hurry and pee and come straight out.

Hopefully he is a clean freak like his sister and will remember to wash his hands!